To Live and Let Go

My eyes stared past the sheets of my bed which had not long been the barriers of my dreams and stared at the clock. It was almost seven in the morning. I yawned and attempted to rub my eye, only to poke it. I groaned out loud, rolling onto my back, clutching my eyes, cursing to myself. And at that point my overweight cat clambered onto the bed and crawled up to me and curled up on my stomach, suffocating me whilst meowing for food.

“Piss off, Monster Munch!” I said, struggling to breathe.

Its not that I over feed my cat, its a bit of a long story how he got fat and if I were to tell you that it all started with a radiator, it would blow your mind. Well now that I've mentioned it, I might as well explain. When he was a kitten and I was still living with my parents, he clawed a packaged radiator which my dad had lying around because he’s a plumber and the radiator just squished him, and now, he's a monster cat. His antibiotics made him very hungry and thirsty all the time and now look at him...

Moving on, I left my gloomy slumbers for the showers and kicked my washing from the past two days to the side. I turned on the shower, left the room and answered the phone.

“Hello, Poppy, be quick, shower time.”

“Lovely, Faye,” Poppy laughed. “I’ll be outside by 2, remember?”

“Yes, yes,”

She hung up on me and I looked at the phone. I placed it back down on the counter and looked around the empty flat. I tucked my hands under the waistband of my shorts like as if they had pockets and rocked on my heels, taking in the emptiness of my flat. This place used to belong to Poppy and she took me in when my parents kicked me out. Then when she moved in with her boyfriend I was left alone. Soon after my boyfriend moved in, but he's been gone half a year now. I didn’t miss him, but I missed the presence of someone else.

I returned to my shower and got into it without removing my clothes. I cradled my body with my arms crossed over my chest and leaned into the corner of the box shower room. I’m not alone, I told myself, I’m not alone; Get showered and phone Callum to have something to do before going to the concert.

***

I pushed Callum from my body and hurried to wardrobe to get fresh clothes.

“Already?” He gasped.

“I have fifteen minutes until Poppy gets here, and you have to be gone before that.”

Callum was a booty call. He was very attractive with shaggy black hair, piercings, tattoos, slender toned body, and a sweetheart, but no matter what I couldn’t ever commit to anything else. I just didn’t see him as something I could settle down too, he wasn't what I was looking for. But to be honest, I was never sure what I was looking for.

“Fine, fair enough but next time you phone, don’t expect me to come,” he laughed bitterly.

I turned around, clipping a bra on and pulling a tank top over myself. “What?”

“Don’t act like you don’t understand,”

“I prefer it when the person just tells me.”

“What- Well I'm fed up of being your toy, I'm not going to be used anymore.”

I put my hands on my hips and nodded my head. “Ok,” I said thinking about the other guys that would fill in the slot.

“You’ve gone really down hill, you know that, right? Heartless ice queen!” he said, making a funny accent to the title at the end.

He got up and pulled on his boxers and skinny jeans. I turned away and finished getting into my jeans and grabbing my military coat. Callum was already gone and when I exited into the kitchen, I saw him leave out the front door. Biting my lip, I thought, this All Time Low better be worth going to see Poppy.

I grabbed my essentials and stuffed them into a small studded canvas bag and then left the flat, locking the door behind me. Outside the door, my neighbour, Ms Harbour, gave me a strange smile and jutted her eyebrows up and turned her back to lock her door. She had always been there for me during my downs even though we practically hated each other and never got along.

I walked down the stairs and entered the breeze which blew my hair back and tangling it around my collar. I gathered it all and tied it up into a side ponytail as I approached Poppy’s small ford fiesta. She wound down the glass window.

“Was that Callum?” she asked.

“Huh? Yeah... he was just telling me something...” I said as I slipped into the front seat.

Poppy didn't hate Callum, she just hated that I was seeing him because of how I was treating him. I knew my actions were cruel but I was too far in the game to stop myself- I was losing control to addiction.

“So, an hour or so to London, what's the music agenda?” I asked even though I knew the answer.

“Well, first is All Time Low... then All Time Low... and then I think after that, its All Time Low,” she laughed.

“Smashing! Lots of variety there Poppy!" I said sarcastically, but she took no notice and next thing I knew 'Somewhere in Neverland' was blasting through the speakers, blocking out all other sounds.