Sequel: But Now They Must Hide In the Shadows ›
Status: Updating either spontaneously or randomly with no actual consistency because life
The Moon Can Shine Brighter Than the Sun
Just let it all out.
Jess watched as the raven haired grasped the dirty green ball from the greyhound's jaws, lifting the object high above his head. With all his might, he threw it a good ten yards away and grinned when the short haired dog took off after the ball.
"I always wanted a dog."
She turned her head sideways towards Billie, smiling as he sighed in content.
"Maybe you can get one when you leave home?"
Billie's eye's instantly drew themselves to the green blades of grass he stood on, placing his hands in his pockets awkwardly. Jess noticed this and frowned, taking a small step towards him.
"Are you okay? You've been really quiet since we came here."
Billie sighed and flung himself onto the floor, placing his head in his hands and his fingers on his forehead. He crossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees, beginning to massage his forehead. Jess gracefully lowered herself to the ground slightly infront of him, reaching out to caress his shoulder.
He lifted his hands slightly so that he could speak, relaxing a little as Jess's hand drew circles on his skin.
"You don't need to hear my shit. You've been through more than me."
She shook her head as she snorted, budging the whole way over to Billie. She glanced upwards across the playing field as Oskar came loping back with the ball, rubbing his head lovingly as she took it from his slobbering jaws.
"Pfft. I said my shit yesterday. Now it's your turn. Spill, Armstrong."
Jess placed the ball in a small sidebag and whistled her dog to come and sit by the two teens. He walked over happily, panting heavily and collapsing just by Jess's feet. She reached out and stroked his coarse brown hair, still waiting for an answer from Billie.
"Billie, it will just fester inside your brain."
"Fucking hell Jess just give me some time."
He snarled at her, placing his hands in his black hair and pulling them into fists. He closed his eyes and groaned, bringing his hands down t cover his eyes. She leaned backwards slightly, a little surprised by his outburst; Yes, she had known from a series of bad trips with Billie, herself, and Mike, that Billie did have a little temper. But when he was 'clean' so to say, he was usually quite calm and collected.
Unless there was something that he just couldn't handle. That he just couldn't cope with.
"Sorry Jess... I'm such a fucking ass today."
She smiled weakly before placing her free arm around his shoulders. She drew him closer so that he could rest his head on her shoulder, as Billie removed his hands from his eyes.
"It's okay, it's okay."
She bend her arm upwards so that she could place a hand in his raven hair, twirling her fingers his gelled locks once she reached them. He instantly closed his eyes, letting the relaxing environment take away his troubles for a few minutes.
Jess glanced around the park she and Billie had come to with Oskar; Old, young, and middle ages couples were happily strolling around with smiles on their faces. She smiled in awe as an elderly couple embraced one another on a bench at the other side of the playing field, lovingly pecking the others wrinkled lips. She sighed, before turning her head and kissing Billie's black mop of hair.
Since the awkward 'almost' kiss yesterday, Jess had been thinking about what her relationship with Billie was. It seemed that at times, they were more than friends. Like now, embracing him in the park. But at others, they were just best friends smoking weed. Part of Jess wanted to ask Billie about how he felt about her, but at the same time, she daren't even get onto the subject of relationships ; She didn't want to ruin what she already had with Billie.
Because it was perfect.
"Do you ever feel like you're a complete fuck up? Like you're destined to fail and have no like, ' path' in life?"
Jess frowned before resting her head on top of Billie's. She brought her hand down from caressing his hair, and placed her fingertips on his cheek.
"Yeah... I guess I'm.. I'm seventeen and strung out on confusion. I have no fucking idea what I'm gonna do when I'm older or like, anything. At least you have the band, hmm?"
She heard Billie sigh and began to slowly trace his cheek bone.
It was true.
She had no fucking clue where she was going in life. All Jess knew was that she loved photography, music, and art. But she had no idea where she was going to go with that.
Jess instantly frowned when she felt something wet on Billie's cheek. She glanced upwards to check if it was raining, but was greeted with the bright Californian sunshine. She leant forwards and turned her head sideways, gasping as she saw his face all scrunched up; several tear streaks were running down from his closed eyes, and onto the green quilt beneath them .
"Hey hey hey it's okay Billie. Come here."
She gently pushed his head off his shoulder and crawled across the grass, placing one leg over Billie's lap and sitting in it. She instantly hung her arms around his torso and placed her forehead against his. She closed her eyes as she felt herself connecting with Billie, hopefully calming him down slightly.
"It's okay to cry. Just let it all out."
She opened her blue pools once more, finding that Billie's tears were sliding off his chin and onto her top. She felt him place his arms around her back weakly, his limbs shaking a little.
Oh fucking hell please don't have a panic attack.
Only once had Jess witnessed Billie have a panic attack.
And it had been like watching a man being torn apart by Satan himself.
Mike had managed to calm Billie down, but Jess wasn't sure if she could ever have that kind of effect on him.
"Shhh shhh... Now, what's up Beej? You'll feel better for saying it out in the open."
She brought one of her hands from around his back to his right cheek, wiping the wet paths of tears tumbling down his icy skin. She also brought her forehead away from his, so that he could speak properly.
" J-John left the band last night."
Jess's eyes widened immediately, her mouth gaping open in shock.
"W-What?"
She watched as the distressed boy sighed, looking down his chest for a moment before moving his head back to look her in the eye.
"After we left yours yesterday, we had band practice and John came to tell us that some college in Arizona accepted him. And then he told us that it was too much to deal with his school shit and the band."
Jess wiped his other cheek with her fingers again, feeling Billie relax a little more.
"So he just left you and Mike wondering what the fuck you're gonna do?"
Billie bit his bottom lip as he tried to stop a whimper escaping his mouth.
"Y-Yeah." He whispered as she placed her forehead back with his own, Jess knowing exactly what this meant for Billie;
Music was his life. And now that John had fucked up the band, Billie had no frickin' clue as to what he was gonna do.
"You'll find another drummer. I would stand in myself, but I don't have any hand foot whatever it is coordination..."
She looked down towards his lips and smiled as the corners of them lifted, and a gentle snort erupting from his nostrils.
"I frickin' hope so. Otherwise, me and Mike are officially like, fucked.."
Jess embraced the raven haired boy a little tighter, closing her eyelids once again.
"You're destined for something amazing. I just know it."
Billie pulled back from her, leaning in to kiss her on her cheek. He chuckled inwardly as a light red blush arose on them, her eyes travelling to the grass floor momentarily.
"Thanks Jess. I just needed to just fucking... Whatever this was."
She smiled before she leant forwards and placed a small peck on Billie's cheek.
"Anytime."
Jess giggled as Billie lifted his hand from her back, and pushed an astray strand of hair from her eyes.
"I'm so lucky to have a partial emotional wreck as a best friend."
She frowned as she batted him on the shoulder, a weak chuckle escaping her full lips. Jess turned her head as Oskar, feeling a little neglected, head butted the teenage girl on her shoulder. She laughed as she took an arm from Billie's torso, and placed her fingers on her dogs head.
She laughed even harder when her dog suddenly jumped up onto the entranced boy and licked his salty cheeks.
"EWWWWWWWWW! OKAY, MAYBE I DON'T WANNA DOG SO MUCH NOW!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour later, both teens arrived back at Jess's house along with a quite worn out Oskar; As soon as he plodded through the front door, he loped his way over to his dog basket to sleep. Billie and Jess however, took off their shoes and ran up the stairs eagerly to Jess's room. They crashed through the door and landed on the floor, laughing as they both fell on top of each other. Jess rolled off of Billie and got up from the green carpet, walking over to her guitar.
She picked it up and carried it over to her bed, crossing her leg over and placing the curve of the guitar on it. She messed around with a few chords as Billie listened, closing his eyes and sitting up straight.
"I need to get the fuck out."
Jess stopped strumming and looked up to be greeted with his sparkling green eyes, smiling weakly as he made his way over to Jess on her bed.
"I need to get the fuck over my fear of going to any sort of social interaction involving booze."
Billie sighed as he placed an arm around her waist, and rested his head on her shoulder once more.
"There's dude who's having a little get-together on Christmas Eves, Eve... he's not creepy at all or like-"
"I'll go. I - No. I'll come with you guys."
Billie lifted his head from her shoulder and raised his eyebrows, his eyes twinkling a little.
"You sure, Jess? I'm not meaning to like, y'know, pressure you or anything..."
Jess smiled and shook her head, grasping out to clutch Billie's hand as she let the guitar fall onto its strap that hung on her shoulders.
"I need to do this. And I'm gonna do this with you."
The raven haired boy grinned wildly, showing his crooked teeth.
"And Mike too."
Jess laughed and rolled her eyes.
"WELL THATS EVEN BETTER THEN HMM!"
Billie rested his head on her shoulder once more, and closed his eyes.
"You're so fucking brave Jess. I fucking love you."
She froze as he whispered the 'L' word into her ear, frowning a little at Billie;
What kind of love was he talking about?
A platonic kind of love?
Or maybe he actually llove loved her?
She couldn't tell.
All she knew was that there was an evident connection between them both, which was becoming stronger every second they were near each other.
And for time being, that was how it was going to stay;
She didn't want to lose him.
*********************************************************
"I always wanted a dog."
She turned her head sideways towards Billie, smiling as he sighed in content.
"Maybe you can get one when you leave home?"
Billie's eye's instantly drew themselves to the green blades of grass he stood on, placing his hands in his pockets awkwardly. Jess noticed this and frowned, taking a small step towards him.
"Are you okay? You've been really quiet since we came here."
Billie sighed and flung himself onto the floor, placing his head in his hands and his fingers on his forehead. He crossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees, beginning to massage his forehead. Jess gracefully lowered herself to the ground slightly infront of him, reaching out to caress his shoulder.
He lifted his hands slightly so that he could speak, relaxing a little as Jess's hand drew circles on his skin.
"You don't need to hear my shit. You've been through more than me."
She shook her head as she snorted, budging the whole way over to Billie. She glanced upwards across the playing field as Oskar came loping back with the ball, rubbing his head lovingly as she took it from his slobbering jaws.
"Pfft. I said my shit yesterday. Now it's your turn. Spill, Armstrong."
Jess placed the ball in a small sidebag and whistled her dog to come and sit by the two teens. He walked over happily, panting heavily and collapsing just by Jess's feet. She reached out and stroked his coarse brown hair, still waiting for an answer from Billie.
"Billie, it will just fester inside your brain."
"Fucking hell Jess just give me some time."
He snarled at her, placing his hands in his black hair and pulling them into fists. He closed his eyes and groaned, bringing his hands down t cover his eyes. She leaned backwards slightly, a little surprised by his outburst; Yes, she had known from a series of bad trips with Billie, herself, and Mike, that Billie did have a little temper. But when he was 'clean' so to say, he was usually quite calm and collected.
Unless there was something that he just couldn't handle. That he just couldn't cope with.
"Sorry Jess... I'm such a fucking ass today."
She smiled weakly before placing her free arm around his shoulders. She drew him closer so that he could rest his head on her shoulder, as Billie removed his hands from his eyes.
"It's okay, it's okay."
She bend her arm upwards so that she could place a hand in his raven hair, twirling her fingers his gelled locks once she reached them. He instantly closed his eyes, letting the relaxing environment take away his troubles for a few minutes.
Jess glanced around the park she and Billie had come to with Oskar; Old, young, and middle ages couples were happily strolling around with smiles on their faces. She smiled in awe as an elderly couple embraced one another on a bench at the other side of the playing field, lovingly pecking the others wrinkled lips. She sighed, before turning her head and kissing Billie's black mop of hair.
Since the awkward 'almost' kiss yesterday, Jess had been thinking about what her relationship with Billie was. It seemed that at times, they were more than friends. Like now, embracing him in the park. But at others, they were just best friends smoking weed. Part of Jess wanted to ask Billie about how he felt about her, but at the same time, she daren't even get onto the subject of relationships ; She didn't want to ruin what she already had with Billie.
Because it was perfect.
"Do you ever feel like you're a complete fuck up? Like you're destined to fail and have no like, ' path' in life?"
Jess frowned before resting her head on top of Billie's. She brought her hand down from caressing his hair, and placed her fingertips on his cheek.
"Yeah... I guess I'm.. I'm seventeen and strung out on confusion. I have no fucking idea what I'm gonna do when I'm older or like, anything. At least you have the band, hmm?"
She heard Billie sigh and began to slowly trace his cheek bone.
It was true.
She had no fucking clue where she was going in life. All Jess knew was that she loved photography, music, and art. But she had no idea where she was going to go with that.
Jess instantly frowned when she felt something wet on Billie's cheek. She glanced upwards to check if it was raining, but was greeted with the bright Californian sunshine. She leant forwards and turned her head sideways, gasping as she saw his face all scrunched up; several tear streaks were running down from his closed eyes, and onto the green quilt beneath them .
"Hey hey hey it's okay Billie. Come here."
She gently pushed his head off his shoulder and crawled across the grass, placing one leg over Billie's lap and sitting in it. She instantly hung her arms around his torso and placed her forehead against his. She closed her eyes as she felt herself connecting with Billie, hopefully calming him down slightly.
"It's okay to cry. Just let it all out."
She opened her blue pools once more, finding that Billie's tears were sliding off his chin and onto her top. She felt him place his arms around her back weakly, his limbs shaking a little.
Oh fucking hell please don't have a panic attack.
Only once had Jess witnessed Billie have a panic attack.
And it had been like watching a man being torn apart by Satan himself.
Mike had managed to calm Billie down, but Jess wasn't sure if she could ever have that kind of effect on him.
"Shhh shhh... Now, what's up Beej? You'll feel better for saying it out in the open."
She brought one of her hands from around his back to his right cheek, wiping the wet paths of tears tumbling down his icy skin. She also brought her forehead away from his, so that he could speak properly.
" J-John left the band last night."
Jess's eyes widened immediately, her mouth gaping open in shock.
"W-What?"
She watched as the distressed boy sighed, looking down his chest for a moment before moving his head back to look her in the eye.
"After we left yours yesterday, we had band practice and John came to tell us that some college in Arizona accepted him. And then he told us that it was too much to deal with his school shit and the band."
Jess wiped his other cheek with her fingers again, feeling Billie relax a little more.
"So he just left you and Mike wondering what the fuck you're gonna do?"
Billie bit his bottom lip as he tried to stop a whimper escaping his mouth.
"Y-Yeah." He whispered as she placed her forehead back with his own, Jess knowing exactly what this meant for Billie;
Music was his life. And now that John had fucked up the band, Billie had no frickin' clue as to what he was gonna do.
"You'll find another drummer. I would stand in myself, but I don't have any hand foot whatever it is coordination..."
She looked down towards his lips and smiled as the corners of them lifted, and a gentle snort erupting from his nostrils.
"I frickin' hope so. Otherwise, me and Mike are officially like, fucked.."
Jess embraced the raven haired boy a little tighter, closing her eyelids once again.
"You're destined for something amazing. I just know it."
Billie pulled back from her, leaning in to kiss her on her cheek. He chuckled inwardly as a light red blush arose on them, her eyes travelling to the grass floor momentarily.
"Thanks Jess. I just needed to just fucking... Whatever this was."
She smiled before she leant forwards and placed a small peck on Billie's cheek.
"Anytime."
Jess giggled as Billie lifted his hand from her back, and pushed an astray strand of hair from her eyes.
"I'm so lucky to have a partial emotional wreck as a best friend."
She frowned as she batted him on the shoulder, a weak chuckle escaping her full lips. Jess turned her head as Oskar, feeling a little neglected, head butted the teenage girl on her shoulder. She laughed as she took an arm from Billie's torso, and placed her fingers on her dogs head.
She laughed even harder when her dog suddenly jumped up onto the entranced boy and licked his salty cheeks.
"EWWWWWWWWW! OKAY, MAYBE I DON'T WANNA DOG SO MUCH NOW!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour later, both teens arrived back at Jess's house along with a quite worn out Oskar; As soon as he plodded through the front door, he loped his way over to his dog basket to sleep. Billie and Jess however, took off their shoes and ran up the stairs eagerly to Jess's room. They crashed through the door and landed on the floor, laughing as they both fell on top of each other. Jess rolled off of Billie and got up from the green carpet, walking over to her guitar.
She picked it up and carried it over to her bed, crossing her leg over and placing the curve of the guitar on it. She messed around with a few chords as Billie listened, closing his eyes and sitting up straight.
"I need to get the fuck out."
Jess stopped strumming and looked up to be greeted with his sparkling green eyes, smiling weakly as he made his way over to Jess on her bed.
"I need to get the fuck over my fear of going to any sort of social interaction involving booze."
Billie sighed as he placed an arm around her waist, and rested his head on her shoulder once more.
"There's dude who's having a little get-together on Christmas Eves, Eve... he's not creepy at all or like-"
"I'll go. I - No. I'll come with you guys."
Billie lifted his head from her shoulder and raised his eyebrows, his eyes twinkling a little.
"You sure, Jess? I'm not meaning to like, y'know, pressure you or anything..."
Jess smiled and shook her head, grasping out to clutch Billie's hand as she let the guitar fall onto its strap that hung on her shoulders.
"I need to do this. And I'm gonna do this with you."
The raven haired boy grinned wildly, showing his crooked teeth.
"And Mike too."
Jess laughed and rolled her eyes.
"WELL THATS EVEN BETTER THEN HMM!"
Billie rested his head on her shoulder once more, and closed his eyes.
"You're so fucking brave Jess. I fucking love you."
She froze as he whispered the 'L' word into her ear, frowning a little at Billie;
What kind of love was he talking about?
A platonic kind of love?
Or maybe he actually llove loved her?
She couldn't tell.
All she knew was that there was an evident connection between them both, which was becoming stronger every second they were near each other.
And for time being, that was how it was going to stay;
She didn't want to lose him.
*********************************************************
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay sorry I was meant to update a few days ago but then I had to revise for a music writing exam thing and I had to do my french oral exam and shit. ahhhHHh school is getting stressful... ):But on the upside, all the hard work and revision I put in about a month and a half ago paid off and I've now got an A* in my maths GCSE!
Gah okay I will try to update tomorrow or the day after that. I don't know when exactly but I feel so bad for not updating so frequently when I have the chapter to post to you guys :(
Thanks again to my subscribers and readers for being the most patient people on the planet :D x