Sequel: But Now They Must Hide In the Shadows ›
Status: Updating either spontaneously or randomly with no actual consistency because life
The Moon Can Shine Brighter Than the Sun
She's Like A Shot Of Morphine
Jess nearly jumped out of her skin as the sharp trill of her doorbell interrupted her deep trance-like state; unknown to her, she'd been staring at the green walls of her room for almost twenty minutes, just thinking about the one special person who she missed dearly.
It was October 24th.
A whole year since her Mom had passed.
And she couldn't even think straight.
Luckily for her, she didn't have to go slave over her music composition for two hours today; Her dad had rung up her school, informing that Jess was in no state to go into it. She'd been crying every hour or so since she got up, rifling through old photos and reminiscing each memory the photograph held. Her Dad had told her that they were going to visit her Mother's grave and place some tulips beside it.
But she didn't know whether she actually could face going there.
Jess had barely survived the funeral. She had been teetering on the edge of running out partway through the service. And when the casket was being laid to rest, she could only bury her head into her father's chest and look away.
She sighed as she heard a light knock on the door, collecting all the photo's together and placing back in a envelope.
"Yep?"
She glanced up as her Dad peeked his had around her door, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Someone's here for you. Even though they should be at school..."
Her Dad shook his head as he opened the door, revealing a all too familiar raven haired boy with his backpack draped around his shoulders.
"I'll just be downstairs Jess and then we can go to the cemetery, ok?"
Jess mouthed 'Ok' and nodded at her Dad, gesturing Billie over to her bed. Her Dad closed her door but stayed outside her room for a few seconds before sighing and walking back downstairs.
"So what brings you here then, Billie?"
Billie chuckled as he sat down on her bed cross legged and hurled his backpack to the floor.
"Well, you weren't in music so it was sooooooo boring and... Hey are you alright?"
Billie raised his hand to cup her cheek, and studied her face as she sighed. It looked like she had applied eyeliner this morning, as remnants of it were currently running down her face. And also, her eyes seemed badly bloodshot from where he was sitting.
"Have you been crying?"
"Yeah..."
Billie scooted a little closer to her, now caressing her reddened cheekbone with his thumb.
"What's up? Are you moving states or something?" He joked, which caused the corners of Jess's lips to turn upwards slightly.
"No. It's just-"
Jess hiccupped and tried to calm herself down, as more memories of her Mom swarmed her mind.
But she just couldn't stop herself.
She bit her lip as tears started to roll out of her eyes, a sob stuck in the back of her throat.
"Hey, hey, hey what's wrong?"
Billie moved right over to Jess so that he could pull her into an embrace, not caring about the fact that she probably liked a lot of personal space.
"It's just... One year."
"One year since what?"
Billie gently rocked her from side to side as Jess buried her head in Billie's t -shirt, clasping the fabric of it inbetween her fingers.
"My Mom..."
She couldn't physically say the next word. It was too still painful to mention the word when Jess was in a fragile state.
"Your Mom what? She left? She di-"
Billie was cut off by a loud cry coming from his chest. He instantly held her a little tighter, knowing exactly how she was feeling.
"Shhh, it's ok Jess just calm down."
He leant backwards with Jess still in his arms onto the soft mattress, making comforting sounds and still rocking her ever so slightly. He bent one of his arms so that he could twirl his fingers around in her dark black hair, closing his eyes as he did so.
After a few minutes, the only things Billie could hear were the sounds of himself and Jess breathing, and a sniffle every so often too. He kissed the top of her head, knowing that she still felt like a complete wreck inside.
"Sorry..."
Billie opened his eyes, and chuckled when Jess snuggled further down into his chest.
"It's fine Jess. I know exactly how you feel right now."
She looked up from his chest, a few tears still rolling down her cheeks.
"What?"
" My dad passed when I was 10. It felt like the world had turned its fucking back on me, and had left me to rot in a corner all by myself."
Jess replaced her head to his chest and encircled her arms around his midsection.
"I'm...I'm so sorry. "
"... He died of throat cancer. So it wasn't like it could have been prevented or anything."
"My Mom di-... passed because of a cancerous tumor thing in her brain."
"I'm so sorry too."
Jess hugged him a little tighter before lifting her head up again so she could see Billie's face.
"Does this-"
She took her arm from Billie's side and lightly thumped her chest with her fist.
"-ever go away?"
Billie sighed, breaking eye contact with her to let his gaze wander around her room.
"It never really does go. You forget about it from time to time. But then again, there are moments where you feel like you're going to implode you're so empty, y'know? But, I've managed to numb a little of my pain by spending time with the people who I love."
Billie turned his head back to face Jess, a lone tear rolling down his face. She unhooked one of his hands from around his waist and reached up to wipe the tear away.
"I still miss him like crazy. He was my main inspiration to keep going and not to give up when I fail. Which is loooooads of times in my case.-"
Jess gently snorted even though he wanted to laugh, but didn't want to stop his trail of thought or offend him.
"And when he died, it was like a part of me died. I wanted to be like my Dad so much when I was a kid, but now, all I want to do is to make him proud."
Jess brought her hand back down to Billie's side and continued to hug him, slightly in awe at the raven haired boy's wise words.
"I'm sure you have already."
"I hope so."
Billie laid his head back down on the green duvet and sighed, still twirling Jess's hair inbetween his fingers.
"Billie, are you free for like, the rest of the afternoon?"
Billie closed his eyes once more, starting to relax in the unfamiliar environment that surrounded him.
"Yeah."
"Could you come with me to my Mom's grave? I don't think I can do it alone."
Billie's eyes jolted open as he frowned.
"Aren't you going with your Dad?"
"Yeah, But I mean whether you could come with me just to like... I don't know hold my hand. I don't having a fucking clue. I'm just a wreck right now"
Billie let his head fall to the bed as he closed his eyes once more. He unwrapped one of his arms from Jess's waist and searched for her hand on the bed. He found it and intertwined their fingers, giving Jess's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Sure."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour or so later, Billie, Jess and her Dad stood at the foot of Annalisa Winters's grave. Billie noticed a several tears rolling down Jess's cheeks, and immediately grabbed her hand closest to him with his. She turned her head to find him with a sweet smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Jess took a deep breath in, before letting go and slowly walking over to place several red tulips beside her Mom's grave. Whilst she was placing the flowers, she traced the letters carved in the stone with her finger.
She bit her lip to stop herself from crying out, her breathing rate increasing as she became more flustered and emotional. She was about to fall to her knees when she felt a calming hand on her shoulder. She glanced up to find that Billie had stepped over, knowing exactly how she was feeling inside;
He had of course, gone through it all before. Jess stood back up and glanced deeply into his green, caring eyes before enveloping him with a hug.
She buried her head into his shirt just like earlier, except the pain felt by Jess seemed more intense now that she was stood six feet above her Mom. Billie took a glimpse over to her Dad, who was now sitting on the grass, eyes closed and cross legged parallel to the tombstone. He thought he hear him saying a prayer, but listened carefully to find that he was reciting their wedding vows.
Billie slowly descended to the floor, first picking up Jess in his arms so that her legs were swung around to the side .He waited until her Dad had finished, and had kissed her gravestone before saying anything.
"I kinda think she's asleep."
Her Dad quietly chuckled as Billie glanced back down adoringly at his daughter.
"I suppose we better get back. Do you want me to carry her or are you ok?"
"No I'm fine Mr Win-"
"Please, call me Toby."
"Oh... ok then um, I'm fine, Toby."
Billie smiled at the older man whilst lifting Jess and himself up from the floor. He swung one of Jess's legs around so that she clung to him ; her hands were hung around his neck and both of her legs were wrapped around his middle.
He slowly carried Jess to her Dad's car, waiting for her Dad to open the door so that he could sit down with Jess in his lap. He pulled the seatbelt over both of them, her Dad then shutting the door and returning to the driver's seat. He adjusted the rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of Billie holding his daughter, comforting her despite the fact that she was asleep.
Jess's dad let out a long sigh before preparing to start up the engine, still looking in the mirror.
"Thank-you Billie."
It caught him out of the blue.
"For what?"
The raven haired boy looked up into the mirror, catching the older man's gaze.
"For being here for the broken family that me and Jess have become."
"Oh. It's ok. I guess"
Jess's Dad drew his gaze from the mirror and started his car with a flick of his wrist, turning the key smoothly in the ignition. Billie took one of his hands and stroked Jess's hair, relishing the silkiness of it. He sighed contently as he gazed over her innocent face;
She looked so beautiful when she slept. It was probably a huge contrast to how she looked and felt inside. But she really did look peaceful, clung to his tear drenched chest. As Jess snuggled down into Billie's shirt, a smile played on his lips.
He kissed her head one more time, before resting his cheek on the top of it. He closed his eyes as he became lost in the moment, unaware to pay attention to anything that was happening around him ;
She was starting to numb the searing pain he had felt in his heart for seven whole years.
Just like a shot of morphine.
And all he could do was hope that he could numb the pain for her too.
*************************************************************
It was October 24th.
A whole year since her Mom had passed.
And she couldn't even think straight.
Luckily for her, she didn't have to go slave over her music composition for two hours today; Her dad had rung up her school, informing that Jess was in no state to go into it. She'd been crying every hour or so since she got up, rifling through old photos and reminiscing each memory the photograph held. Her Dad had told her that they were going to visit her Mother's grave and place some tulips beside it.
But she didn't know whether she actually could face going there.
Jess had barely survived the funeral. She had been teetering on the edge of running out partway through the service. And when the casket was being laid to rest, she could only bury her head into her father's chest and look away.
She sighed as she heard a light knock on the door, collecting all the photo's together and placing back in a envelope.
"Yep?"
She glanced up as her Dad peeked his had around her door, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Someone's here for you. Even though they should be at school..."
Her Dad shook his head as he opened the door, revealing a all too familiar raven haired boy with his backpack draped around his shoulders.
"I'll just be downstairs Jess and then we can go to the cemetery, ok?"
Jess mouthed 'Ok' and nodded at her Dad, gesturing Billie over to her bed. Her Dad closed her door but stayed outside her room for a few seconds before sighing and walking back downstairs.
"So what brings you here then, Billie?"
Billie chuckled as he sat down on her bed cross legged and hurled his backpack to the floor.
"Well, you weren't in music so it was sooooooo boring and... Hey are you alright?"
Billie raised his hand to cup her cheek, and studied her face as she sighed. It looked like she had applied eyeliner this morning, as remnants of it were currently running down her face. And also, her eyes seemed badly bloodshot from where he was sitting.
"Have you been crying?"
"Yeah..."
Billie scooted a little closer to her, now caressing her reddened cheekbone with his thumb.
"What's up? Are you moving states or something?" He joked, which caused the corners of Jess's lips to turn upwards slightly.
"No. It's just-"
Jess hiccupped and tried to calm herself down, as more memories of her Mom swarmed her mind.
But she just couldn't stop herself.
She bit her lip as tears started to roll out of her eyes, a sob stuck in the back of her throat.
"Hey, hey, hey what's wrong?"
Billie moved right over to Jess so that he could pull her into an embrace, not caring about the fact that she probably liked a lot of personal space.
"It's just... One year."
"One year since what?"
Billie gently rocked her from side to side as Jess buried her head in Billie's t -shirt, clasping the fabric of it inbetween her fingers.
"My Mom..."
She couldn't physically say the next word. It was too still painful to mention the word when Jess was in a fragile state.
"Your Mom what? She left? She di-"
Billie was cut off by a loud cry coming from his chest. He instantly held her a little tighter, knowing exactly how she was feeling.
"Shhh, it's ok Jess just calm down."
He leant backwards with Jess still in his arms onto the soft mattress, making comforting sounds and still rocking her ever so slightly. He bent one of his arms so that he could twirl his fingers around in her dark black hair, closing his eyes as he did so.
After a few minutes, the only things Billie could hear were the sounds of himself and Jess breathing, and a sniffle every so often too. He kissed the top of her head, knowing that she still felt like a complete wreck inside.
"Sorry..."
Billie opened his eyes, and chuckled when Jess snuggled further down into his chest.
"It's fine Jess. I know exactly how you feel right now."
She looked up from his chest, a few tears still rolling down her cheeks.
"What?"
" My dad passed when I was 10. It felt like the world had turned its fucking back on me, and had left me to rot in a corner all by myself."
Jess replaced her head to his chest and encircled her arms around his midsection.
"I'm...I'm so sorry. "
"... He died of throat cancer. So it wasn't like it could have been prevented or anything."
"My Mom di-... passed because of a cancerous tumor thing in her brain."
"I'm so sorry too."
Jess hugged him a little tighter before lifting her head up again so she could see Billie's face.
"Does this-"
She took her arm from Billie's side and lightly thumped her chest with her fist.
"-ever go away?"
Billie sighed, breaking eye contact with her to let his gaze wander around her room.
"It never really does go. You forget about it from time to time. But then again, there are moments where you feel like you're going to implode you're so empty, y'know? But, I've managed to numb a little of my pain by spending time with the people who I love."
Billie turned his head back to face Jess, a lone tear rolling down his face. She unhooked one of his hands from around his waist and reached up to wipe the tear away.
"I still miss him like crazy. He was my main inspiration to keep going and not to give up when I fail. Which is loooooads of times in my case.-"
Jess gently snorted even though he wanted to laugh, but didn't want to stop his trail of thought or offend him.
"And when he died, it was like a part of me died. I wanted to be like my Dad so much when I was a kid, but now, all I want to do is to make him proud."
Jess brought her hand back down to Billie's side and continued to hug him, slightly in awe at the raven haired boy's wise words.
"I'm sure you have already."
"I hope so."
Billie laid his head back down on the green duvet and sighed, still twirling Jess's hair inbetween his fingers.
"Billie, are you free for like, the rest of the afternoon?"
Billie closed his eyes once more, starting to relax in the unfamiliar environment that surrounded him.
"Yeah."
"Could you come with me to my Mom's grave? I don't think I can do it alone."
Billie's eyes jolted open as he frowned.
"Aren't you going with your Dad?"
"Yeah, But I mean whether you could come with me just to like... I don't know hold my hand. I don't having a fucking clue. I'm just a wreck right now"
Billie let his head fall to the bed as he closed his eyes once more. He unwrapped one of his arms from Jess's waist and searched for her hand on the bed. He found it and intertwined their fingers, giving Jess's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Sure."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour or so later, Billie, Jess and her Dad stood at the foot of Annalisa Winters's grave. Billie noticed a several tears rolling down Jess's cheeks, and immediately grabbed her hand closest to him with his. She turned her head to find him with a sweet smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Jess took a deep breath in, before letting go and slowly walking over to place several red tulips beside her Mom's grave. Whilst she was placing the flowers, she traced the letters carved in the stone with her finger.
She bit her lip to stop herself from crying out, her breathing rate increasing as she became more flustered and emotional. She was about to fall to her knees when she felt a calming hand on her shoulder. She glanced up to find that Billie had stepped over, knowing exactly how she was feeling inside;
He had of course, gone through it all before. Jess stood back up and glanced deeply into his green, caring eyes before enveloping him with a hug.
She buried her head into his shirt just like earlier, except the pain felt by Jess seemed more intense now that she was stood six feet above her Mom. Billie took a glimpse over to her Dad, who was now sitting on the grass, eyes closed and cross legged parallel to the tombstone. He thought he hear him saying a prayer, but listened carefully to find that he was reciting their wedding vows.
Billie slowly descended to the floor, first picking up Jess in his arms so that her legs were swung around to the side .He waited until her Dad had finished, and had kissed her gravestone before saying anything.
"I kinda think she's asleep."
Her Dad quietly chuckled as Billie glanced back down adoringly at his daughter.
"I suppose we better get back. Do you want me to carry her or are you ok?"
"No I'm fine Mr Win-"
"Please, call me Toby."
"Oh... ok then um, I'm fine, Toby."
Billie smiled at the older man whilst lifting Jess and himself up from the floor. He swung one of Jess's legs around so that she clung to him ; her hands were hung around his neck and both of her legs were wrapped around his middle.
He slowly carried Jess to her Dad's car, waiting for her Dad to open the door so that he could sit down with Jess in his lap. He pulled the seatbelt over both of them, her Dad then shutting the door and returning to the driver's seat. He adjusted the rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of Billie holding his daughter, comforting her despite the fact that she was asleep.
Jess's dad let out a long sigh before preparing to start up the engine, still looking in the mirror.
"Thank-you Billie."
It caught him out of the blue.
"For what?"
The raven haired boy looked up into the mirror, catching the older man's gaze.
"For being here for the broken family that me and Jess have become."
"Oh. It's ok. I guess"
Jess's Dad drew his gaze from the mirror and started his car with a flick of his wrist, turning the key smoothly in the ignition. Billie took one of his hands and stroked Jess's hair, relishing the silkiness of it. He sighed contently as he gazed over her innocent face;
She looked so beautiful when she slept. It was probably a huge contrast to how she looked and felt inside. But she really did look peaceful, clung to his tear drenched chest. As Jess snuggled down into Billie's shirt, a smile played on his lips.
He kissed her head one more time, before resting his cheek on the top of it. He closed his eyes as he became lost in the moment, unaware to pay attention to anything that was happening around him ;
She was starting to numb the searing pain he had felt in his heart for seven whole years.
Just like a shot of morphine.
And all he could do was hope that he could numb the pain for her too.
*************************************************************
♠ ♠ ♠
I hope this update was okay... I feel like absolute crap right now.. Ugh.. God damn colds seriously suck...But on the upside, I took both of my Maths Exams and I think I did okay.
I just got a three month period of extreme revision and more exams now though :(
Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyy
Comments are very much appreciated :)