You & I

"Where have you been? Tara grumbled from the couch when I walked into the apartment. Even though she had her own room now that Helen had moved out, she was most likely to be found passed out on the couch in the mornings. She took in my appearance and quickly sat up. "Why are you all sweaty?"

"I've been for a run."

There was a perfect look of horror on her face. "Running? Was there someone chasing you? You didn't get mugged did you?"

"I know it might seem like a foreign concept to you Tara, but some people like to go for a run."

"We are not those people."

"Well maybe I felt like giving it a try," I shrugged, walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Is this a new part of your moving on phase, or whatever the hell you want to call it? Because I prefered it when we went drinking until you forgot his name."

"But then came the crying into my frosted flakes phase and that wasn't so much fun. It's been a week now and I've decided to stop dwelling on stuff I can't change and focus on the things I can." She had this oh so Tara expression on her face when I finished which meant she was gearing up for some kind of lecture, and as my new resolve was only surface level, I wasn't in a place to deal with that just yet. "I need to get ready for work, and you have a meeting to prepare for." I walked off in the direction of my room.

"Gracie!"
I ignored her frustrated yell, grabbed some clothes from my room and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower.

Ok so it had been a week since I went over to see Chris. A week since we had kissed. A week since I last spoke to him. He hadn't called me or been by the apartment, and I hadn't tried to contact him. I had brought up his name in my phone and almost pressed the call button countless times but my new resolve had always stopped me.

That night I had come home, confessed all to Tara and willingly let her take me out to a bar to get blind drunk. Ignoring Jackson's call in the process. Then (and now that I'm seeing more clearly I'm ashamed to admit this) I actually did cry in to my cereal the next morning. In my defense, I think it was partly down to the baseball bat to the head hangover I was suffering from.

When I did speak to Jackson it was awkward and I would forever feel guilty about keeping the kiss from him. I honestly meant to tell him and then promise him it was no big deal and that I was no longer friends with Chris. Only none of the shoddy script I'd planned out in my head came out of my mouth and it turned into a long rambling lie. I told him Chris had apologised and that he would have come by to apologise to Jackson in person but he was off filming somewhere.

Hey Grace, remember when your life was really simple? You were a bit of a recluse, but you liked it that way because everything was simple. You were trudging away at life and spent most of your free time with a whoreish dog named Fudge. Your crazy best friend was still in Australia where she couldn't wreak havoc and the only celebrities you dealt with were the ones who hired Cooper. You definitely weren't lying to perfectly sweet, decent guys.

Yeah, those were the good old days.

But I loved having Tara here, she could always get me out of my funk - even if it was through the medium of alcohol most of the time. And if I were being honest with myself I knew that I wouldn't sacrifice the time I'd had with Chris for anything.