You & I

At work yesterday I had tried to find a moment to pull Cooper aside and have the conversation I was dreading, but one which needed to happen nonetheless. Said moment did not present itself and I went home feeling like the air had been let out of my balloon.

I was determined that today would be different. We were on a shoot for some reality TV star who had chosen to go down one of the routes available to them with their new found fame -a clothing line. Said celebrity was an hour and forty minutes late, and we were under strict instructions not to start getting the models ready until she got here. I swear this new breed of celebrity has more money than sense. Everyone on this shoot was getting paid by the hour and by the end of the day the sum would be enough to send a family of four to Paris.

So as we were on downtime until they made an appearance, I went to find Cooper on set with a renewed determination. He was by the rack of clothes and accessories, looking them over with his ever judging and always bitchy eye while he chatted on the phone to his boyfriend.

I didn't want to retreat, for fear he would disappear and I wouldn't get my chance. I pretended to check my phone nearby in the most awkward fashion until he was finished with the call. The second he was done I approached him.

"Could I talk to you about something Cooper?"

"Can it wait until after the shoot?" He asked, now preoccupied with texting.

"It will only take a minute. I just figured, because the client isn't here yet-"

"Fine, but be quick."

I abandoned my usual slouching position and stood up a little straighter. "Are you happy with my work?"

Cooper looked at me as if I'd just asked him to name every type of drink they served at Starbucks. Maybe he would have more of a clue on that front if fetched his own damn coffee every once in a while

"Are you asking for a performance review Grace? You're not due one until next month."

"Am I due one? I've been working for you for over a year now and I've never had a performance review." I'm pretty sure my attitude was a shock to us both, but I had no intention of apologising and dismissing myself. Not after the pep talk I'd given myself in the bathroom mirror when I was getting ready. It had been Taxi Driver meets Cool Runnings but mainly just a girl gone mad.
"I want more responsibility Cooper. I can do more than barrel curls and fishtail braids but I need a chance to prove myself."

What followed was one of the longest, most excruciating pauses of my entire life while I waited for Cooper to respond, to decide my future.

"Ok."

"Ok?" My temporary courage was out the window when my voice squeaked.

"You're talented Grace. You cope well under pressure and I've only ever heard good things about you from clients. I just needed to see a bit of fight in you. You have to take the initiative."
There was some commotion behind us to signal the arrival of our celebrity client and Cooper looked over my shoulder. "We'll talk more about this after the shoot."

I watched him walk away. I should have followed after him and started prepping, but I need a moment alone to do a happy dance. Did I actually just make progress at work? Did this mean I could stop the coffee runs?

Whoa Grace, you're getting a bit ahead of yourself. It probably means 4 runs instead of 8.

Still progress though. The first thing I thought to do was take out my phone and call Chris - but I couldn't. I let that weight hit me as I put my phone back into my pocket and walked onto set.