Carry On

"Daddy?" I asked, walking into the studio. He turned around, wiping his eyes. His guitar sat on his lap, the room dark, and I could hear soft music in the back ground.

"Hey, Baby-Girl, what are you still doing up?" He asked, setting the guitar aside and I stepped further into the room, my blanket wrapped around me.

"Are you crying because Mom's gone?" I asked and he bit his lip, tearing his eyes away from me, "Because I am too."

He let out a sigh and a weak sounding sob before choking it back, "Come here," He whispered and I ran to him. In seconds I was on his lap, leaning against his chest as he wrapped his protective arms around me, resting his chin on my head. "Liza, things are going to be different around here, okay?"

"I know," I muttered.

"But you have to be strong. Haners don't cry like this okay? We forget and move on. It's just how life works."

"Okay, Dad," I said softly and he sighed deeply. We were silent for a few minutes as I took in Dad's warmth in the cool night. I felt safe in his arms. "Dad?"

"Hm."

"You won't ever leave me right?" I asked.

"I promise, Liza, I will never leave your side. You'll be my Baby-Girl forever."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I woke up feeling woozy, dry tears on my cheeks as I remembered the week Mom had left us. I sighed, turning over and giving out a small yelp as I saw who was sitting on the chair, "Zack?" I asked.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"Fine. What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"Matt called me. Val is off getting groceries and Matt had to go record some vocals. He's still worried about you so he called me to watch you," He explained.

"Naturally. We all know Jimmy and Johnny aren't the best baby sitters," I mentioned.

"Yeah, well they don't know," He said, scratching the back of his head.

"They don't?"

He shook his head, "Your Dad gave us specific intrusctions to keep it between us. He doesn't want anything getting out again. Although we trust people in the band, we don't want to accidentally let Larry know."

I sighed, "I heard the label is pretty mad at Dad. That's why he's in New York," I muttered and he nodded.

"It's not your fault, Liz. They're more upset with him because he did things without telling the label first. If we're going to post anything on our website regarding our personal lives, we have to tell the label first. It's much different than sending out a tweet or posting something on Facebook. So they were upset for that reason, and they were also upset that he called in a cleaning service not approved by the label. Had he done so, then word about you wouldn't have gotten out."

"So why didn't he?"

"Because your dad is quick to make decisions. He doesn't like waiting around for someone else to do it," He explained and I nodded because I knew it was true.

"When is he coming back?" I asked and Zack sighed.

"I don't know. Soon, though. Matt knows more than I do," He stated. We were silent for a while. The television was turned off sometime when I was asleep. The sun was higher now, and I assumed it was nearing later in the day. "C'mon. Let's go find something to eat," He said and I followed him downstairs to the kitchen.

-

Brian walked into the tall building where Warner Bros. offices were. He couldn't help but feel nervous as he signed in at the security desk before walking over to the elevator. In his hand he had a file. He had Larry fax over all of Liza's paperwork from school, proving she was an excellent student. Larry had also managed to forge out some applications to Ivy League schools. Brian knew that with all the commotion occurring with his daughter, she hadn't applied to any schools yet. Still, he needed to do this.

"Mr. Haner, Nice of you to join us," Daniel smiled, holding his hand out as soon as Brian reaches the conference room.

"Call me Brian," He replied, calm and collected as ever. As if his daughter didn't just try to end her life days prior.

"Please have a seat," Daniel pointed to a leather chair, a glass of water already on the table for Brian. He knows what to do though. If you drink the water it makes you look nervous, and they think you're hiding something. So he goes thirsty, no matter how dry his mouth becomes. "We might as well get right to it, Brian. How's your daughter?"

"She's fine," Brian replied, "The damage isn't as bad as those pictures lead on to believe. She was upset during the day and took it out on herself. I don't think she had an intentions of actually trying to kill herself," Brian lied, almost choking on his words.

Daniel nodded, "There is a lot of blood on that floor," He muttered, sliding the pictures of to Brian. He didn't grimace. He couldn't. He needed to stay strong.

"Like I said, it's not as bad as it looks."

"Were you the one to find her?" He asked.

"Yes," Brian lied. Had he said Matt found her he'd be in for it. He didn't need to confess that the entire band was involved.

"But no hospital visit?" Daniel pulled some papers from a folder, "We checked the local hospitals and they never had Elizabeth Haner as a patient."

"Had the damage been worse, I would have. But I checked her cut and is wasn't deep enough for stitches or medical attention."

Daniel eyed him. He watched to make sure Brian's eyes weren't dilated, he wasn't sweating, or tense. He was calm. He suspected nothing wrong as he reached for the file again, pulling out yet another series of papers, "Your budget for the album and tour is extremely extensive, Brian."

"I haven't missed any studio time, Daniel," Brian said flat out and Daniel raised an eyebrow, "I'm here because you think I'm distracted."

"Well, Brian. Your daughter attempting suicide would be quite the distraction, yes," Daniel smirked and Brian bit back a growl.

"She's too busy with school to effect me. I go to the studio and I come home. I have two separate lives. My professional life with the band, and my life as a father at home."

"Oh, and I'm sure neither of the two blend in with each other at any time?" Daniel asked, eyebrow raised.

"No," Brian said firmly.

"How does Elizabeth do in school?"

Brian pulled out her transcripts, "Straight A's. She just recently applied to Harvard, Stanford, and Yale."

Daniel's eyebrows shot up, "Impressive. She seems to have it all, doesn't she?"

"I raised her right," Brian stated.

"I know you, Brian. I know you're not going to let your star-of-a-daughter go so easily. You're a fighter, and I admire that. I won't request her to be removed from the situation," Daniel said and Brian felt relaxed for the first time in days, "But," Daniel snapped, "Time is money. Do not waste my time with this, Brian. Get the album done and go on tour. I do not like losing money. If you have one more mess-up, I will not hesitate to have her removed or cancel Avenged Sevenfold's contract," He spat.

"I understand," Brian said, "And trust me. That won't happen."

But deep down, Brian wasn't sure if something like this wouldn't ever happen again.

-

Just when Zack and I stalked into the kitchen to find something to eat, Val arrived with groceries. She was quick to make both of us lunch before she recruited Zack to put the rest of the groceries away. It wasn't long after that Matt was back home, all finished at the studio. It was Zack's turn to head in and record some tracks.

After Zack left Val got a call from Lacey, who was looking for some shopping partners. I wasn't up to heading out just yet, so Val went alone and left me with Matt once again. I didn't mind, though. I was perched on the couch, Matt next to me. He let me flip through the channels, even though nothing was on.

"We can put a movie in," He suggested, standing up and heading to his extensive DVD collection in the corner.

"You can choose. I'll probably fall asleep anyways," I muttered and he gave me a disapproving look.

"No, you choose. You sleep too much," He stated and I groaned. He grabbed a DVD and popped it in. I smiled, seeing it was Finding Nemo. He knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep with my favorite movie on the screen. Matt was a big fan of action movies, but had every known Disney film to man because of me. He kept a collection for when I was younger, always at his house.

"Have you talked to Dad?" I asked quietly during the previews. And he sighed, turning to me.

"I texted him to let him know you're awake. But last I heard he was headed to his meeting," He explained.

"What'll happen?" I asked.

"Nothing bad, I promise," He said and I could tell he was lying.

"Do you ever get sick of taking care of me? Or whenever I get in trouble, do you get mad when Dad calls you to come over?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Of course not, Liz. I only get mad because you do get in trouble and do stupid things sometimes. I get mad because I care about you. You're like a daughter to me. None of the other guys have kids for me to chase after," He laughed.

"Why?" I questioned and he raised an eyebrow, "I mean, Dad's the only one who has a kid. You're all pushing forty pretty much."

He gasped, "We are not pushing forty!" He argued, "We're mid-thirties."

"Okay, so shouldn't the guys have kids by now?"

"Well, Zack and Gena are too much into their own worlds to get married and settle down. Johnny and Lacey will probably get to it once they're married, and none of us trust Jimmy with a kid," He said and I laughed.

"What about you? You and Val got married ages ago. Why don't you have a kid to bother instead of me?" I joked and he turned to me, eyes holding something I couldn't explain. Pain maybe? I suddenly regretted saying anything at all.

He took a deep breath, "I think you're old enough now to understand. Hell, you're practically an adult," He sighed before adverting his eyes to the ground, "We tried once we got married," He started, "A lot of times, actually. It wasn't until a few years after that Val went to the doctor."

"Doctor?" I questioned. What the hell was wrong with Val?

He nodded, "Val couldn't understand why her sister, your Mom, had gotten pregnant so easily. Here Val was, almost thirty, and wanting a kid."

"What happened?"

"They found nothing wrong," He shrugged, "So after we got back from a tour Val pressured me to go to the doctor as well. It took me a while, but I did."

"And?" I pressed, leaning over to him to hear the end of the story, and he sighed.

"I found out I was the reason," He whispered, "Something was wrong with me. I didn't have whatever needed to make a kid," He confessed.

I suddenly felt bad for every bad thing I said to Matt. And I felt bad for pressuring him to confess such a thing. He looked so sad and ashamed. Matt wasn't like this. Matt's strong like a general in the army. Matt was never weak.

He sniffled a little before continuing, "When we found out, I didn't know what to do. I felt so useless. I started drinking and I became really angry and depressed. Val and I almost got a divorce. But," He looked up at me, "You're the daughter I can never have, Liz.

"You brought me out of that depression, because even though I'll never have a beautiful little girl, I still have you. And that's all I'll ever need. It's why I panic when you drive too fast or when you run off to parties without telling us," He said and I remembered how pissed he was when I skipped the barbecue to go to Sherri's party. "I can't have a kid of my own, so you were the closest thing. I mean," He let out a scoff, "It sounds stupid, I know. But you were the light that brought me out of the darkness I put myself in after I found out the news."

I wasn't sure what to say to Matt. I just stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. I could see some sort of pain in his eyes, something unexplainable. They were glistening with tears he wouldn't dare let fall and I could see the regret inside him. He went to move to get off the couch, obviously done with this conversation.

I wasn't sure what I was thinking, or what compelled me to do such a thing. But I leaned over on my knees and tossed my arms around his neck before he could stand up. I tightened my grip, clinging to him.

I think he was shocked at first, because he froze. This wasn't like me at all. But he returned the hug, holding me tight as I let him cry. He wouldn't let himself sob, but I could hear his sniffles and my shirt was getting wet a bit. I let him hold me like I was his daughter, because I knew that's what he needed.

I guess we're all a little broken.