Carry On

I groaned, rolling over in bed to see Dad sitting at the edge, "It's time to get up," He said softly and I nodded. Ever since he's come back from New York, he's been much more hesitant. He hesitates before doing anything around me. I understood, though. He was afraid I was going to fly off the handle again, resulting in another meeting with the label.

Dad leaned over and kissed my forehead before standing up and leaving my room, shutting the door behind him. I groaned again, a strong pain in the back of my head. Stephanie had written down most of the symptoms that come as side effects with my medication.

I rolled out of bed and walked over to my closet. I grabbed the first pair of jeans I saw and a matching shirt before throwing them on. I didn't bother with my hair, so I just threw it up in a rather messy bun. I took the time to put in some makeup, trying to hide the bags under my eyes. I threw on a pair of boots before heading downstairs where Dad was waiting. He handed me two pop tarts before handing me my keys, "Are you coming home right after school?" He asked as he opened the pill bottle, taking one out.

"Yeah," I muttered and he held his hand out. I rolled my eyes, but took it after I saw the warning glance he gave me.

"You don't have plans with Amanda or Alicia?" He asked, "You haven't had any in a while," He mention.

"No," I answered shortly and before he could question anything I cut him off, "Bye, Dad. I'll see you after school."

"Bye. I love you."

"I love you too."

After my return to school a few days ago, Amanda and Alicia avoided me. Despite what my father posted on the band's website, half of the school still believed I was suicidal. I don't blame them. They didn't want to get involved, and I understood. I wouldn't want to either. In all of my classes they ignored me, and they no longer met me at my locker in the morning. We no longer went for rides around town after school. The Three Musketeers had transformed into the Gruesome Twosome.

At first I didn't think it would bother me. After their texts to me the day the news about me leaked, I didn't think they would want to be around me. But assuming it would happen, and actually living through it are two different feelings. I guess you could say I felt rejected, sure. My two best friends, who had been my side since kindergarten, were gone. We're talking about the girls who's parents watched me when Mom was out with Val, and Dad was on tour. They were my sisters, practically. They had a part in my home. They were always around as kids, and they only showed up more often as we got older. Slumber parties had turned into real parties. We went to our first high school dances together, before any of us could actually get dates.

The worst part for me is.... That I know had this happened to one of them, I would still be there. I always was there. When Amanda's first boyfriend cheated on her freshman year, I held her as she cried. When Alicia's parents split sophomore year, she stayed at my house for a week. When my mom left... Where were they? I had always been there for them. Everyone knew that. Even their parents knew that. And here I was, desperately needing them, and they were gone.

I pulled up to school and parked in my usual spot. I got out, taking my bag with me before heading towards my locker. To my surprise, someone was actually standing there.

"Hey," Michael said softly.

"Hey," I waved and went to open my locker.

"I didn't know you were back. I left for a few days with my Dad," He said.

"Yeah, I read about it on Facebook," I mentioned. Michael had skipped four days of school to accompany his father in England.

"I didn't know Amanda and Alicia weren't speaking to you," He said softly, almost hesitantly.

"Yeah, neither did I until I got back," I muttered and he sighed.

"You know I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere," He said.

"Yeah, that's what they all say," I whispered before shutting my locker and walking away, leaving him standing there.

I was done with letting people stand by me. They eventually all went away anyways. Sometimes I wonder even if Mom had stayed, would everyone else have too? It was safer to push them away before they could leave me.

I stalked to my first class, slouching in my chair. I had been back a total of three days, this day being my fourth. I was so behind in homework that the teachers hadn't bothered helping me. They knew I wouldn't be able to finish anyways.

I hadn't told Dad how behind I was. He already had enough on his plate. Sometimes I wanted to hurt Dad. Just because he was never there, and because he had hurt me. I couldn't, though. I guess there would always be apart of me that was a daddy's girl. I was sick of seeing him look so tired and drained lately. His skin was paler, his eyes were darker, and his hair was grayer. It didn't matter how much he tried to smile, how much sleep he got, or how much hair dye he used. He would always be exhausted as long as I was around.

My headache hadn't stopped, and it felt a lot worse than this morning. I looked down at my desk. My grading sheet for the class in front of me. Twelve missing assignments within the five days I was gone. That was just this class. I could feel the anxiety running through me and my head was throbbing.

"Are you going to pay attention any time soon, Miss Haner?" I dragged my eyes up to meet the cold stare of Mrs. Johnson.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I just don't feel well," I stated.

"Oh, I suppose you didn't get enough rest during your five day vacation, did you?" She asked, "Perhaps you need another vacation. I suggest you take it after grades are due," She snapped and I could hear the class snicker behind me. Amanda and Alicia included. All of them were staring at me. I could feel the anger pulsing through me and my head began to throb even more.

I brought my eyes down to my desk again. Grades were due in two days. I couldn't possible get my grades up to Dad's standards. My A's were now B's and my B's were now C's. I didn't want to be around to see what would happen when he found out.

"Liza, finish the equation," She ordered and I looked up at the board. The numbers and letters were jumbled. How could she possibly expect me to answer this question after missing so many lessons? Calculus was not an easy thing to catch up on.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Well, the class isn't leaving until you solve it. You have two minutes."

My jaw dropped, "Excuse me, but how is that even fair?" I asked the students began to groan. Even they knew I couldn't do it.

"Do not question my teaching, Miss Haner. I went to college," She snapped and I rolled my eyes, "And I'd cut the attitude if I were you."

"I can't solve it. I'm sorry I haven't been here to learn the new lessons, but this is just stupid," I snapped.

"You could have gotten the assignments either way having been absent. This is a result of you being irresponsible."

"This is a result in you failing to do your job," I snapped, "Besides, you know what they say. Those who cannot do, teach," I spat and the class gasped.

"Excuse me?" She breathed, a hand over her heart like I had stabbed her.

"I refuse to sit here and take ridicule from a teacher who thinks she's so above everyone. You know one third of your practiced trade, Miss. Do not act like you are so high and mighty. And I'd appreciate it if you leave me alone."

"I have never had a student as rude as you before!" She exclaimed.

"Well, maybe it's about time someone tells you," I muttered.

"I've had enough of this. Go straight to the office at once. I'm sure your father would love to hear about this one," She smirked.

I stood up, tossing my bag over my shoulder. I grabbed my grade sheet and walked up to her. I ripped it in two and tossed it in front of her face, "Fuck you, Mrs. Johnson."

The class was silent as I walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I stormed down the hall towards the front office. Mr. Hayes, the principal was already waiting for me, "This behavior is extremely out of hand, Miss Haner."

I could see the secretary on the phone, and no doubt it was with my father. They were bringing him in. I was done for. If the therapist didn't piss him off, my principal was sure to pop a vein in that neck of his. I didn't want to see the wrath of Dad. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to leave until he arrived.

It didn't take long for him to get there. Five minutes at the most. Which was a record. He was at the studio today, which meant he must have driven twice as fast to get to the school that quick. He walked in, looking flustered as he did so. He actually took the time to get dressed and do his hair today, and that was a plus. Had he gone to the studio in shorts and a shirt he'd be even more pissed that the school had to see him in such a way.

He walked in and took one look at me before turning to Mr. Hayes, "What's the problem?" He asked. His eyes were dark, and I couldn't tell if he was mad at me specifically, or pissed because he had to leave the studio.

"Why don't both of you come into my office," He said and Dad motioned me to stand up. I did so and followed both of them into the office. Now was not the time to be defying Dad.

We sat down in chairs as Mr. Hayes sat behind his desk, "Liza has taken it upon herself to be rude to our staff. We do not tolerate that kind of behavior here, Mr. Haner. And quite frankly, the teachers aren't willing to put up with it anymore."

I didn't even care that Dad was here anymore. My eyes burned with fire and I sat up, eyes glaring, "Before you go any further, I'd request that you evaluate your staff more and observe how they practice equality in the classroom," I snapped.

"I assure you, Sir, that I don't know what she's talking about," He said directly to Dad, ignoring me, "Liza is obviously making up excuses and accusations to avoid punishment."

"Enough!" I screamed and I stood up, "I refuse to be ridiculed in the midst of an environment where I am given the right to learn. And I will be damned if I let one teacher ruin my academic career because she feels the need to point her insecurities towards me. I have never seen such unprofessional behavior in my life. And as a principal, Sir, you should be doing all you can to get both sides of the story before you contact a parent. This is completely unethical!" I exclaimed and he sat there, his eyes wide.

Dad stood up beside me, "This school obviously didn't live up to it's reputation. As for Liza, I'll be requesting her transcripts now and I want her locker cleared out by the end of the day," Dad put a hand on my shoulder, "And you'll be hearing from my lawyer," Dad growled so low that Mr. Hayes eyes flashed with terror. "Let's go."

Dad's hand stayed on my shoulder as we left the office. It was passing period, and the students made it apparent to stare as Synyster Gates walked his daughter out of the school. No doubt they were coming up with new rumors to throw at me.

Dad walked me all the way to my car when he stopped, "I'll see you at home. Please try to stay under eighty miles per hour," He said and I nodded, getting into the car. I nodded, taking my keys out and he leaned over to place a kiss on my forehead.

I took off, Dad not too far behind me. As promised, I kept the car at 75 the whole way, not speeding even for a second. His black BMW was close behind me. Due to the dark tinting, I couldn't tell what he was thinking by reading his face, and that scared me. When he left the school he looked pissed, but I didn't understand why he sided with me and not with the school. Dad was always the first one to side against me.

I pulled into the driveway and Dad parked next to me. I got out, grabbing my bag and looking at him, "Get inside," He nodded towards the door and I didn't object. I walked straight to the door, opening it. He followed, kicking off his shoes. I tossed mine aside as well, walking over to the living room where I sat down. I hadn't even made it through one period of the day. Which meant that Dad was forced to leave the studio, and he was probably pissed about that. Maybe that's why he sided with me. Because that's a faster way to get back than siding with the school. Paperwork was a pain in the ass at that school.

I sat down and peeked up at him through my bangs. His hands were on his hips and he sighed. I watched as the darkness in his eyes went away, and an amusing smirk played on his lips. For a second I thought he had finally lost it and gone mad. He quickly leaned forward and picked me up, pulling me into his arms.

"What the fuck?" I asked and he laughed, "Why aren't you screaming at me?"

"Screaming?" He asked and set me down, "Liza, you told off the dean of your school without batting an eyelash and you sounded like some actual big-shot lawyer."

I raised an eyebrow, "And why would you be happy about that?" I asked, "If you hadn't noticed, I think I just got kicked out of school!"

"I'm proud that you did that, Liza," He said, "You said words I don't think I've even used in my entire lifetime. And you acted like an adult," He explained, "And I believe I took you out of school. That's much different," He added.

"Screaming at the dean of a school is acting like an adult?" I questioned and he laughed.

"It is to me," He smiled and pulled me into another hug.

I couldn't understand what just happened. Why was Dad acting like this? It made me feel uneasy, because things were different now. And I certainly did not like change. The confusion just gave me an even bigger headache, but I ignored it and let Dad hug me.

It was the least I could do.