Carry On
Six
"You back at home yet?" Amanda asked as we shoved our books into our lockers. Her and Alicia didn't talk to me on Monday because I had left the party without them. Once I explained how pissed my dad was, they didn't argue. They were scared of him.
"Nope," I responded, "Zack wants me to apologize. Like it's my fucking fault," I rolled my eyes and she looked at me sadly. I knew what she was going to say next.
"Well, it was kind of harsh. I mean, you basically told him it was his fault he's alone," Amanda explained and I rolled my eyes again.
"Yeah, I did. Because it is his fault. If he wasn't such a control freak and an asshole, we wouldn't be in this situation right now," I said and she didn't argue, "Anyways, are you going to the beach?"
She nodded, "Yup. We're all changing here before leaving. Did you tell Doug anything?"
I shook my head, "Nope. He knows I don't give a shit about band anyways. He'll figure it out."
We went our separate ways when the bell rang. My first class wasn't with Amanda or Alicia, but I did have a few other close friends. I was never really alone in school. I was smart and for some odd reason people thought I was pretty. For some reason people just wanted to be my friend, no matter how weird I was. Some people tried to dress like me, but it didn't suit them very well. Some people tried to act or talk like me. I didn't care. I don't see any reason why they would want to be like me.
Because you're worthless.
I know.
-
Zacky walked into his friend's house. He had wanted to come by sooner, but with Matt there he didn't see it best. Matt was his best friend, sure, but it didn't mean he exactly agreed with him when it came to Liza. Matt got involved too much, according to Zack and Gena. Although he was her uncle, it didn't mean he got an actual say in Liza's life. And if you asked Zacky, he thought Brian relied on him too much to raise Liza. Sure, they were brother-in-laws, but Zack was his best friend and sometimes he needed to step in and cool the situation down.
"Bri?" Zack called, kicking his shoes of to the side before walking into the hallway. He came to the living room, noticing the television on. Brian was watching reruns of a sitcom, obviously still unhappy, "C'mon, man. Have you been like this for four days?"
Brian sighed, sitting up, "What do you want?"
Zack sat down, "I think something deeper is going on with her, Brian," He said slowly.
"What? Is she on drugs or something? Oh my God, this is a nightmare," He groaned.
"No, Brian," Zack sighed, "I think there's something going on with her mentally."
"My daughter isn't mental, Zack," Brian stated, almost offended.
"Think about it, Man. She never really got therapy after Michelle left. She was left without a mom with a single parent. Don't you think that could have affected her somehow?"
Brian shook his head, "I raised her right," Brian said, his voice getting a little louder, "I raised her to be strong, and she is. She's just in the stupid rebellious phase," He defended.
"Have you looked at her lately?" Zack asked, "She's not the same. She looked so emotionless and blank... Like she's not really here."
"I fucking live with her Zack, of course I've looked at her. And you're overreacting. Let me raise my kid," Brian growled, standing up and heading up the stairs.
"Where are you going now!?" Zack called.
"To pick up Liza from school!" Brian yelled back and Zack sighed in defeat. He slipped his shoes on before heading back outside to get in his car and head home. He needed to pack up Liza's stuff.
Brian jogged down the stairs, slipping on his shoes before grabbing his keys. He thought about taking Liza's car, just to surprise her. He felt bad for some of the things he said earlier. He raised her hard because he knew it would help her in the end. He just wanted her to live up to the Haner name.
He drove down to the school. He knew she would be at practice, but he figured this was important enough to bring her home early. He parked, noticing there weren't many cars to begin with, before getting out and heading towards the music department.
He could hear the sound of Tchaikovsky trailing through the halls and a small smile graced his lips. He approached the door and waited for the music to stop before he stepped inside, "I'm here to take Liza home," He said, and he noticed a chill of silence through the room. Before he could look out to find his daughter, Doug spoke.
"Mr. Haner, good to see you. Kids, practice the second movement for the time being," He turned to Brian, "Come to my office."
Brian followed, realizing that not only was Liza missing, but her two best friends were as well. He sat down at the desk, waiting for what news Doug had to tell him, "Mr. Haner, I wouldn't consider it ditching, seeing as the rest of the senior class is with her, but Liza didn't show up to practice today."
"What do you mean the rest of the class?" Brian asked.
"Well, most parents were informed about the senior beach day..."
Brian sighed, "Unfortunately, Liza doesn't tell me much."
"I assumed that much," Doug smiled, "While you're here, I'd like to talk to you about her performance in class," And Brian felt his stomach drop. If there was anything he didn't want her to fail at, it was music, "She's a fantastic musician, and I assume she gets that from you... But Liza doesn't enjoy music as much as the other kids in class."
"Oh?"
"In fact, she hates it," Doug continued, "She's excellent at what she does, and she's the best I've seen in a long time. But she's bored and uninterested. She often falls asleep in practice and she leaves early. I don't have much of a problem, seeing as she's an excellent player. She knows her stuff. I just don't really understand why she's here if she hates it so much."
"I can assure you, Doug, that Liza is just going through a rough time right now. She's hit this rebellious stage, I think because it's her senior year. She has freedom now because she has her own car and I've let her go out on her own. But this won't be happening again."
"Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Haner. I look forward to seeing you this week for the concert," Doug smiled.
"You too. And thank you for informing me where Liza is."
With that Brian left. He couldn't fathom how Liza could be so irresponsible, even when staying with Zack. She just didn't get it. He didn't understand why she didn't get it, either.
-
Seeing as I didn't have my car back, we rode with Alicia to the beach. The entire senior class, or at least the people who mattered, were driving up PCH all the way from Costa Mesa to Huntington. Some kids who don't have a sixth period were already there, reserving out spot with some bonfires. I told Zack Alicia would bring me home after practice ended, which I told him was six.
As soon as we got there the music started and we were quick to shed our clothes. As the entire senior class stripped to their bathing suits we barged into the water.
What if the entire class witnessed my death?
That would be something. I've known some of these people since preschool. I could imagine their faces as I turned up, face down, on the water. I shuddered at the thought. It was so inviting.
After two hours had passed I wandered off by myself, a towel wrapped around me as the afternoon breeze kicked in. Although the sun was still high, the chill of October was breezing through. It was then that my phone started to ring. Without thinking I picked up, figuring it was Zack, "Hello?"
"I'm parked next to the pier. Do not make me get out of this car because I will drag you off the beach in front of all your friends," Dad stated and I groaned.
"Really? Is this really necessary?" I snapped, "I wasn't aware you were even speaking to me."
He sighed, "Come get in the car. We'll talk when you get home. Just... come get in the car."
I growled, hanging up the phone as I walked back towards the bonfire. I debated throwing myself into it, just to piss Dad off, but instead I grabbed my bag and left before anyone could notice. I'd be sure to send a text to Alicia later. I knew exactly where Dad was parked. It was the parking lot East of the pier so passengers can load without paying for parking. I could spot his car as I approached it.
I threw my stuff into the back seat before sitting in the front, slamming the car door as I did so, "Jesus, don't take it out on my fucking car," He muttered as he started to drive away.
I'd rather take it out on myself.
"Nope," I responded, "Zack wants me to apologize. Like it's my fucking fault," I rolled my eyes and she looked at me sadly. I knew what she was going to say next.
"Well, it was kind of harsh. I mean, you basically told him it was his fault he's alone," Amanda explained and I rolled my eyes again.
"Yeah, I did. Because it is his fault. If he wasn't such a control freak and an asshole, we wouldn't be in this situation right now," I said and she didn't argue, "Anyways, are you going to the beach?"
She nodded, "Yup. We're all changing here before leaving. Did you tell Doug anything?"
I shook my head, "Nope. He knows I don't give a shit about band anyways. He'll figure it out."
We went our separate ways when the bell rang. My first class wasn't with Amanda or Alicia, but I did have a few other close friends. I was never really alone in school. I was smart and for some odd reason people thought I was pretty. For some reason people just wanted to be my friend, no matter how weird I was. Some people tried to dress like me, but it didn't suit them very well. Some people tried to act or talk like me. I didn't care. I don't see any reason why they would want to be like me.
Because you're worthless.
I know.
-
Zacky walked into his friend's house. He had wanted to come by sooner, but with Matt there he didn't see it best. Matt was his best friend, sure, but it didn't mean he exactly agreed with him when it came to Liza. Matt got involved too much, according to Zack and Gena. Although he was her uncle, it didn't mean he got an actual say in Liza's life. And if you asked Zacky, he thought Brian relied on him too much to raise Liza. Sure, they were brother-in-laws, but Zack was his best friend and sometimes he needed to step in and cool the situation down.
"Bri?" Zack called, kicking his shoes of to the side before walking into the hallway. He came to the living room, noticing the television on. Brian was watching reruns of a sitcom, obviously still unhappy, "C'mon, man. Have you been like this for four days?"
Brian sighed, sitting up, "What do you want?"
Zack sat down, "I think something deeper is going on with her, Brian," He said slowly.
"What? Is she on drugs or something? Oh my God, this is a nightmare," He groaned.
"No, Brian," Zack sighed, "I think there's something going on with her mentally."
"My daughter isn't mental, Zack," Brian stated, almost offended.
"Think about it, Man. She never really got therapy after Michelle left. She was left without a mom with a single parent. Don't you think that could have affected her somehow?"
Brian shook his head, "I raised her right," Brian said, his voice getting a little louder, "I raised her to be strong, and she is. She's just in the stupid rebellious phase," He defended.
"Have you looked at her lately?" Zack asked, "She's not the same. She looked so emotionless and blank... Like she's not really here."
"I fucking live with her Zack, of course I've looked at her. And you're overreacting. Let me raise my kid," Brian growled, standing up and heading up the stairs.
"Where are you going now!?" Zack called.
"To pick up Liza from school!" Brian yelled back and Zack sighed in defeat. He slipped his shoes on before heading back outside to get in his car and head home. He needed to pack up Liza's stuff.
Brian jogged down the stairs, slipping on his shoes before grabbing his keys. He thought about taking Liza's car, just to surprise her. He felt bad for some of the things he said earlier. He raised her hard because he knew it would help her in the end. He just wanted her to live up to the Haner name.
He drove down to the school. He knew she would be at practice, but he figured this was important enough to bring her home early. He parked, noticing there weren't many cars to begin with, before getting out and heading towards the music department.
He could hear the sound of Tchaikovsky trailing through the halls and a small smile graced his lips. He approached the door and waited for the music to stop before he stepped inside, "I'm here to take Liza home," He said, and he noticed a chill of silence through the room. Before he could look out to find his daughter, Doug spoke.
"Mr. Haner, good to see you. Kids, practice the second movement for the time being," He turned to Brian, "Come to my office."
Brian followed, realizing that not only was Liza missing, but her two best friends were as well. He sat down at the desk, waiting for what news Doug had to tell him, "Mr. Haner, I wouldn't consider it ditching, seeing as the rest of the senior class is with her, but Liza didn't show up to practice today."
"What do you mean the rest of the class?" Brian asked.
"Well, most parents were informed about the senior beach day..."
Brian sighed, "Unfortunately, Liza doesn't tell me much."
"I assumed that much," Doug smiled, "While you're here, I'd like to talk to you about her performance in class," And Brian felt his stomach drop. If there was anything he didn't want her to fail at, it was music, "She's a fantastic musician, and I assume she gets that from you... But Liza doesn't enjoy music as much as the other kids in class."
"Oh?"
"In fact, she hates it," Doug continued, "She's excellent at what she does, and she's the best I've seen in a long time. But she's bored and uninterested. She often falls asleep in practice and she leaves early. I don't have much of a problem, seeing as she's an excellent player. She knows her stuff. I just don't really understand why she's here if she hates it so much."
"I can assure you, Doug, that Liza is just going through a rough time right now. She's hit this rebellious stage, I think because it's her senior year. She has freedom now because she has her own car and I've let her go out on her own. But this won't be happening again."
"Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Haner. I look forward to seeing you this week for the concert," Doug smiled.
"You too. And thank you for informing me where Liza is."
With that Brian left. He couldn't fathom how Liza could be so irresponsible, even when staying with Zack. She just didn't get it. He didn't understand why she didn't get it, either.
-
Seeing as I didn't have my car back, we rode with Alicia to the beach. The entire senior class, or at least the people who mattered, were driving up PCH all the way from Costa Mesa to Huntington. Some kids who don't have a sixth period were already there, reserving out spot with some bonfires. I told Zack Alicia would bring me home after practice ended, which I told him was six.
As soon as we got there the music started and we were quick to shed our clothes. As the entire senior class stripped to their bathing suits we barged into the water.
What if the entire class witnessed my death?
That would be something. I've known some of these people since preschool. I could imagine their faces as I turned up, face down, on the water. I shuddered at the thought. It was so inviting.
After two hours had passed I wandered off by myself, a towel wrapped around me as the afternoon breeze kicked in. Although the sun was still high, the chill of October was breezing through. It was then that my phone started to ring. Without thinking I picked up, figuring it was Zack, "Hello?"
"I'm parked next to the pier. Do not make me get out of this car because I will drag you off the beach in front of all your friends," Dad stated and I groaned.
"Really? Is this really necessary?" I snapped, "I wasn't aware you were even speaking to me."
He sighed, "Come get in the car. We'll talk when you get home. Just... come get in the car."
I growled, hanging up the phone as I walked back towards the bonfire. I debated throwing myself into it, just to piss Dad off, but instead I grabbed my bag and left before anyone could notice. I'd be sure to send a text to Alicia later. I knew exactly where Dad was parked. It was the parking lot East of the pier so passengers can load without paying for parking. I could spot his car as I approached it.
I threw my stuff into the back seat before sitting in the front, slamming the car door as I did so, "Jesus, don't take it out on my fucking car," He muttered as he started to drive away.
I'd rather take it out on myself.