Status: Irregular updates

Chosen Family

Done Waiting

I walked out back and let all my anger and frustration out by taking pictures. I adored photography and was often found with some sort of camera bag slung over my shoulder. I didn't want to go into the business, but I enjoyed it as a hobby. Many of the random pictures around the house were from me snapping a shot here, or sniping a shot there. I was trying to find a way to take the werewolves pictures without the lens flare effect, but at the moment was coming up with nothing. I mean there has to be a way, we can take pictures of cats and wolves without their eyes flaring. No matter what I did with my digital, their eyes were always lighted. So my next experiment would be with a film camera since I had to manually focus it. I will find a way to take their picture dammit!
Anyway, the sun was lazily setting and I decided to take landscape pictures. Having only one good foot was troublesome, but I did my best to get different angles. I took one shot of a flock of birds and stopped to watch them flutter away into the distance. I suddenly felt empty, yet guilty about how I acted at dinner. I should be use to how my mother talked to me, she had always done it. I also became embarrassed by my behavior in front of my friends. To lose my temper like that was very childish. I sigh and bring up my camera again and take a shot. I look down at the picture and frown. "The Fuck?" In the corner was a bright light, like a lens flare. I look up to see nothing there, so I decide to take a mirror picture. I look down at again to see it gone.
Grabbing my crutches, I go over to investigate the oddity. My senses go on high alert as I get closer and closer to the area of interest. I stop ten feet away, my body almost frozen in place. It's dark now and I'm silently cursing myself for not bringing a flashlight with me.
"Zak?" Lydia calls. I turn to face her and am about to call back when I'm once again frozen; there's a presence behind me. I hear an almost inaudible growl behind me and know my heart rate is escalating. "Zak, what are you-"
"Zak!" Derek is beside Lydia and howls at the intruder. Before Derek and the other wolves can cross the yard to me, something cold is slipped into my hand and the creature is gone.
"Zak, are you okay?" Scott asks.
I look into his eyes and replied, "Physically yes, mentally I'm a bit shaken up."
"What was that?" Stiles asks as Derek and Jackson sniff the area.
"I don't know. Whoever it was covered their tracks." Derek growled in frustration.
"Derek, is Peter in town?" Last I heard he decided to do some sight seeing or something.
"No, why?"
"Because..." My heart rate increased again as I brought up my clenched fist to reveal a gold pill case. "Whoever was here, gave me this." Everyone froze at the sight of it. "Does this mean?"
"Maybe. For all we know it could be another werewolf trying to scare us. But we can't dismiss the fact that Gerard may be back." Derek replied in a serious tone.
"Wonderful. Tonight just gets better and better."

A week later I find myself laying down on the porch of the old Hale house. My camera, backpack, and lacrosse things were ditched off to the side as I looked up and thought.
"What are you doing here?" Derek asked as he exited his house.
"Thinking. Have any manual non-thinking labor I could do while I think?"
He raised a brow as he asked, "Don't you usually taking pictures for this sort of thing?"
I shook my head, "No, that is to not think about things. When I'm taking pictures, I am totally focused and can forget about everything. I need something to keep me busy while I think."
"You could rake?" He replied, unsure of what to say.
"Do you even have a rake?" He replied with a pointed look before leaving to retrieve one.
"Here, enjoy." He tossed it to me and vanished into the house.
"Thanks." I grinned and went to work. As my body worked mechanically, my mind started the grueling process of sorting out my feelings and thoughts. My point in this exercise was to figure out how I really felt about my mother. My emotions fluctuated all over the place as I thought back over the the first seven years of my life and then the ten years that followed after my mother left me. I was angry at her for leaving me alone, for breaking the promise that she would return for me soon. Ten years later and she still wasn't here to get me. I understood that she was young when she had me; a young 19 years old. But she had kept me for seven years before deciding I was too much. It hurt that she left me behind as she left to figure her life out. She was the only immediate family I had, my dad leaving us when I was about three, and she just let me go. Even now, she doesn't have her life together and was still childish. But what kind of person leaves their child at their cousin's house and promises to return, only to reappear seven years later to say hi and leaves again? A bad guy I suppose. Do I really see her as that, a bad guy? When did that happen?
I thought back again and realized it was when I first gave up on the hope that she would come back for me. The day I realized that she wasn't coming back and that I needed to move on. She had abandoned me for good and that I didn't need her. Abandoned. I paused what I was doing and looked down. That's what it all came down too, I felt abandoned by her and I didn't want a repeat. Well, another repeat. That week when she popped back into my life, I felt hope that she had come to fulfill her promise made me excited. I loved mom, dad, and Stiles dearly, but they weren't my mother. However, the reality of the situation made itself painfully clear when I woke up to all of her things gone. It was probably a good thing everyone wasn't a werewolf then, or they may have died from how devastated I was at once again being disappointed by Kaleen. From then on, I hid away everything that reminded me of her and moved on. Only I guess a part of me never did. So now here I am at the metaphorical crossroads of my feelings and I have to decide what to.
I don't know how much time past, but I managed to rake most of the front yard by the time I came to a conclusion. I leaned on the rake as I concluded that she was never going to come back for me. Something I know I've told myself over and over again, but this time I felt contentment in it. I did not need her approval. I did not need to get defensive when she made a comment about my clothes or hair or life choices. I was surrounded by people that cared and loved me. I had a family that would stand by me no matter how much I fucked up and that made me smile. I did not need her. She will always be my mother, but she was not my mom and I could live with that. I found solace in knowing that I had my family, they had always been there and I felt at peace. My chosen family will always be better than the fantasy one that would never exist.
I didn't realized I had a smile on my face until Derek's voice knocked me out of my head. "I take it raking the yard worked with whatever meditation you had to do."
I looked up and smirked, "Yep, quite soothing really. You should try it sometime."
"I'm good. I'm glad you finally have everything sorted out, your emotions were giving me whiplash."
I laughed and replied, "Sorry." I walked over to the porch to get my things. "Had a lot on my mind."
"I know."
I chuckled again as I swung my backpack, lacrosse bag, and camera over my shoulders. "I'll see you later. Thanks for letting me hang out here."
"You raked the yard, come back anytime you need to think."
"Perhaps I will." I grinned and headed to my car. After putting everything in the trunk, I took out my film camera and called, "Hey Derek!" He looked back and I snapped a pic. "Thanks. By the way, how is the hunt for Gerard going?" I leaned on the top of the door as I hung half in and out of the driver's seat.
"Slow. No new trails recently. We may have to team up with the Argent's and hunters if we want to track him down." He was not happy about possibly working with them.
I nodded, "Well, if you need anything, you know where Stiles and I are. Later." Derek nodded a farewell as I turned around and headed home.
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