Dear Randy

Brian tried to read my letter when I got home but I wouldn't let him, liking the way Randy said we were going to keep the letters just between the two of us. I was on a strange high, finally getting answers to questions I had always wanted to know.

As soon as he dropped me off at my house, I ran up the stairs and grabbed my notebook, glad my parents weren't home. I turned on a My Chemical Romance CD and thought of my response.

Dear Randy,
I was so excited to get a letter back, I was afraid that you wouldn't want to talk to me because you don't know me. I mean, obviously, you used to know me but that was when I was a toddler and I don't ever remember meeting you. How did you get to meet me? I know you said, you would answer all my questions after a couple of letters, but I just can't help to ask you more.

I'm glad you've agreed to keep this between us, I would be dead if my mom found out. My whole life, I've always wanted to meet you or at least talk to you once or twice. I've also always wished I would find someone who would be my Randy but would stay. I don't know who left, so don't take that wrong, you probably get what I mean.

My grandma loves you! She absolutely adores you, I'm jealous because my mom does not stand my boyfriend, Brian, and neither does Joe, my step-dad.

I also wanted to thank you. Thank you for being one of the last people who showed my Mom what love was. I mean, she always says that my father was the love of her life, that went wrong, or "the one who got away" but I think that, that was you. And that's why I am so intrigued by you, I guess.

I'm looking forward to your next letter.

Love,
Blue

I was disappointed with the small-size of my letter and quickly took a picture of it. At the time, I knew I wanted to remember what I wrote to him, but I wasn't completely sure why.

A few minutes later, my phone buzz and I looked down to see a message from Brian. Hey Baby, I was just thinking about u, wyd?

Just writing to Randy. WBY?

I was just thinkin about how much I love u. Y did u wanna stay home 2night? Did I do something?

I smiled at my Brian, he was always afraid he did something wrong, the truth was, I wanted to be home for at least one night. Between school, work and Brian, it was hard to find time for myself. I thought of a quick response, Oh no, crazy! I just need a little time to myself, ya know? I promise it's nothin 2 do with u.

K.

I set my phone down and laid back in my bed, sighing. My parent's pulled in and I hurried up and put the addressed letter in my backpack and ran down the stairs to greet them. It was the first time my mom had actually been out of the house in a while because we only had one car and Joe was out of town on a business trip for the week before. Brian had to pick me up and take me to school or work or home. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I slept over at Brian's. Sometimes, every night.

I gave my mom a hug, "Oh look whose home for once," she joked, "we've been missing you, kid, especially me."

I felt a pang of guilt, she was being treated like an animal, stranded out at our house, way out in the country, "I'm sorry Mom, if I didn't have to go to school-"

"Babe, it's not your fault, you don't have to take care of me."

Joe came up behind her, coming into the house, "You gonna help me get the groceries?" he asked me.

I half-rolled my eyes and went out and got the rest of the groceries, my phone buzzed three times, while I carried the groceries in. After that was done, we all sat down and watched a movie, I checked my phone, they were all from Brian.
You there?

I love you

I miss you.

And so, I set down with my family watching the movie and texting Brian, feeling as if an elephant was upstairs hiding in my backpack.