Pitch Black

A week passed, and there was never another feral attack. That entire first week that our group lived in our new home, was agonizing and tense. Though the attack was rare, it made me worried that it had happened when we had not been there for long, though it relieved me when we discovered a bulb had burned out, and that it wasn’t something else.

The vamp had dug it’s way in through the wall, which took about two days to patch back up. What was harder to patch, was Andy’s already lost sanity. Throughout the week he would start and have a meltdown at the slightest noise, and though I did not know her well, I could tell that it was weighing heavy on Eleanor.

On the bright side, Louis had seemed to take a keen interest in helping Eleanor. Though I said nothing about it, I noticed every time he spoke to her in a soft voice that he usually only used with Sam. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, so I said nothing about it.

Throughout the week, we had spread out into empty rooms that Harry had. I took up to sharing one with Louis, since we were the closest, and Ash and Sam had stayed together in the room next to ours, with Liam and Danielle across the hall.

I also noticed that Niall stayed in Ash and Sam’s room more often than not. Something about his presence made them sleep sounder, so I let it slip, though it bothered me. He and my sister had become fast friends, and though I was also opening up to friendship slowly, her affection for him put me on edge.

Walking into the living room, I heard music playing softly. Ever since the day of the attack, it had become a new custom to play music softly. It seemed to put everyone at ease- except Harry. I was not sure what his aversion to music was, but he rarely came in the living room when it was on, which I thought was strange.

All my young life, I had been raised on music. Even when we were on the run, he had used car batteries to charge iPods and MP3’s. Our parents had thought that it was good for us to have an outlet, and Ash and I discovered that we had quite the talent for singing when we used to do it for Sam after our parents died.

In the living room, I sat down at my usual spot and began laying out all my weapons. It was a habit that I had not lost, cleaning them all. My supplies was laid out, and I looked up only when footsteps disturbed me. It was Zayn, and he smiled, sitting down in front of me quietly. I cast him a look.

“I like that you clean your weapons so efficiently,” he admitted, laying down his own. He pulled out a cloth and oil, which I had been running low on and offered me some. I took it with a grateful smile. “So I decided, if you didn’t mind, that I would like to start joining you.”

“Sure,” I said, deciding it would be nice to have someone share in the task with me. Louis used to do it, but he was spending his time trying to tell Andy stories, which I thought was just as important. “Trade stories to pass the time?”

He grinned. “Sounds excellent.”

As we sat cleaning weapons, Zayn and I took turns describing different stories of run ins with the vampires. They were always very similar, being attacked when moving. The vamps had become akin to attacking during the day with blackout suits, which was bad for us.

The story drew in Perrie, who sat down next to us, giving me a small smile. She listened patiently, and sometimes provided information for Zayn when he forgot or skipped over something. She also occasionally handed us a piece to clean next, which made me realize she knew what went where on a gun.

Liam and Danielle also trickled in, sitting on the couch and listening as we talked. They too began to tell stories from before they had met my family. Though I knew the stories well, it never hurt to hear them again. Though they were always filled with horror and the fear of what could happen at any moment, something about sharing stories was beautiful. It was because we had all experienced it, we all knew that raw terror and need to survive.

Towards the end of our cleaning, everyone was sitting around the room. Harry had even come to the edge of the hall, leaning on the wall and watching as we all sat as one very large group. It was weird, to see so many humans congregated in a single spot, connected. It was a beautiful picture, one that for so long I thought was extinct, lost.

“Tell them about that one time you killed the vampire with your bare hands,” Liam urged, nodding his head towards me. The memory came fresh in my mind, and I was surprised he wanted me to relive that one. It was a night I had saved him. “And when you saved me.”

“You really want me to tell that one?” I asked, raising a brow. It wasn’t his finest moment, and I knew that he still hade nightmares of that night, when the vampire had knocked the weapon from his hands, going in for the kill as I tackled it. “Of all things?”

“How’d you kill it with your bare hands?” Harry asked then, totally surprising me by speaking. He pushed himself off of the wall, intrigued by the story. He sat down next to Zayn, gesturing to me. “That’s something impressive.”

I licked my lips. “It was only a month or so after we became a large group. We were still knew at being large then, and were traveling to loud and disturbed a watchtower far out west. One of the guards went for Liam and the other went for Louis. Liam had him handled but the vamp knocked his gun out last minute.

“I didn’t even think about what I was doing, so I tackled the vampire. He could have overpowered me if he hadn’t been so surprised by me attacking him. And I rolled on top of him. My hands were soaked in holy water, and I just sort of suffocated him and burned him when I wrapped my hands around his throat. I wasn’t letting go.

“Soaking hands in holy water,” Perrie murmured, shocked as she shook her blonde hair. “I’ve never even thought of that. That’s brilliant. So you can touch them and they burn.”

“Ash came up with it,” I admit, gesturing to my sister. She lifted her head, red hair falling around her face like crimson flames. She grinned a bit, a modest smile. “She’s really a genius, if you guys haven’t figured it out. Teaches me a lot.”

“She teaches me numbers and grammar,” Sam added happily, grinning up at Ash who just rustled Sam’s hair. “She could’ve been a teacher, I bet.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Niall said slowly, speaking for the first time. He was in his ever present spot next to my sister. I had grown used to the package deal, though it left a bitter taste in my mouth. As long as he could protect her. “You should do nightly sessions, make sure we’re all still smart.”

“And what’s the point in that?” Harry questioned, raising a brow. His tone wasn’t unkind, but honest. He did not see the point in this, and to be honest, I was curious as to Niall’s explanation as well. “We’re not going to save the world with numbers.”

“Actually,” Ash laughed, running a hand through her hair, “Numbers are part of what I do to solve the problem at hand. I used them and chemical equations too-"

“Ash,” I sang, making her blink and look at me. “You’re going into scientist talk again. We speak English.”

She laughed and everyone joined in. “But I see what Niall is saying. It would be smart to make sure we all stay educated, because who knows, we may be making the next generation of children.”

My heart dropped. Without warning I stood abruptly, stalking towards the bedroom. Everyone was shocked at my sudden exit, but I was literally so angry at the suggestion for reasons that I did not even want to explain to them. Because it was something I never had to face.

“What the hell, Blake?” Ash called after me, staying me. I glanced back at the room, seeing that they were all shocked, and that they liked the idea. Except Harry. I couldn’t read what was on his face exactly, but it wasn’t pleased. “What’s the problem?”

I laughed without humor. “Teach a class every night. That’s a good idea just on it’s own. But you’re mistaken and crazy if you ever want to raise a child in the world we live in. You think the way we live is unfair? Wait until that child grows up.”

Ash recoiled at the thought, as did everyone else. It really had never occurred to them that maybe having children was one of the things they would have to give up in this life. I had learned to give up that among other things. Love, children, and luxury were the first things I had given up, among trust and peace of mind.

Walking down the hall to the room that was now mine, I sat on the mattress that was on the floor in the corner, Louis’s at the other end of the room. Bringing my knees to my chest and letting out a sigh. It wasn’t long before I heard a knock on the door, making me glance up.

I expected Louis or Ash to stick their head in, but what I got was El. I raised my brows as she let herself in, brushing her dark hair into a bun. She gestured to see if she could sit next to me and I nodded. She did easily.

Licking her lips she murmured, “I actually quite agree with what you said out there. Learning for our own benefit is good… but the thought of ever having children sends shivers down my spine. I think I would rather let the human race die out.”

I nodded into my knees, watching as she continued. “I know you know something is wrong with Andy. And it’s just another reason that I don’t think we should ever have children in this world.” She paused, taking a breath. “When the virus first struck, we still had parents with us. Most of our parents were the first to go. Andy and my own parents were the last. But… they were killed in front of us. Brutally ripped limb by limb. He saw everything. I didn’t. But lost it. He just… his mind couldn’t handle the reality of it, and it buried itself. It went away.”

A single, solitary tear of sadness, pain and memory rolled down her cheek. She brushed it away quickly, looking at me. The ghost of the past was in her eyes as she looked at me, and I knew that this girl had experienced something I never had. She lost her brother in a way that many hadn’t. He was a shell of who he used to be. “He was never the same. Ever since then, he talks in circles and makes up words. It’s like having a child, and I see what it does to him.”

“I’m sorry,” I responded quietly, casting my eyes down at the ground. “I wish there was something that I could have done to help. But I didn’t even know you.”

“Well there is something you can do,” a voice called from the door. Eleanor and I both looked up. She gave Harry a look, and I realized she had come in to make sure I was safe to talk to before he did. “If Ash is going to teach us scholarly shit, they think you and I should teach self defense.”

My brows arched. “Don’t you mostly know that already?”

El shook her head quickly. “Not the way you guys do. You saw how I could barely save us last week. I only acted on impulse. That would never work in a real attack, a planned one.”

I was quiet. “I’ve tried teaching before,” Harry added, shrugging. “But it’s easier if there is two of us, and we know different things. And I’m sure you have different approaches.”

Another sigh escaped my lips. “Fine. Ash can teach her philosophy, I’ll teach mine.”

“Your philosophy?”

I grinned at him. “Killing things.”