I Bite My Tongue So You Don't Hear Me

Gemma re-entered.
'She is in bed' She told him with a blank expression.
Dan just nodded as he continued to pace.
'Why didn't you just tell me sooner' She sat on the sofa.
'I didn't want you to freak out' He stopped and looked at her.
'Freak out! Freak out! Dan I am your fiancé you should have told me sooner then I wouldn't bloody freak out!' She stood up
They stood with a sofa in-between them,facing each other.
'This is exactly it!' Dan pointed at her.
'What!?' Gemma didn't understand.
'You hide this from me,you hide the fact that you hurt inside! Just because you want to protect me from yourself!' He shouted.

She stepped away almost crashing into the table.
Dan tried to walk closer but she edged away.
'I don't care if you freak out,don't hide this away' His voice went quieter 'Please'
Her eyes began to well with tears,her jaw shuddered.
'I can't,I do it for a reason' Her body shuddered
Dan walked closer to her. He tried to touch her shoulder but she pulled away.
'Dan,please,I can't hurt you' She cried slowly walking back.
'Why would you hurt me?' Dan asked calming his voice.
'What Andy said was true' She didn't make eye contact.
'About your brother?'
She nodded 'Yes,that's why I hide it,I protect you because the only person I cared about,the only person who cared about me,died because of me,so I have every right to hide away' She explained. Dan slowly took her hand and sat her down on the sofa. Gemma wiped away some tears.
'Its okay' Dan soothed
'Dan,please let me explain,about my brother' She breathed looking up at him through her teary eyes.
'Babe-'
'No I have to tell you before you leave'
'Gemma' He looked down at her.
'I need to tell you,please let me'
Dan nodded as she took a breath.

'It happened in my final year,It was a month later after Austin poured acid on my legs,I was in the midst of all the court drama with Austin,I was at my lowest point' She breathed heavily holding back tears 'I wanted to be dead,I didn't care about the trials,I just didn't want to exist'
Dan nodded as she tried to calm her tears.
'So I tool it upon myself to attempt suicide after school one day with a knife,in my bedroom. I only lived with my 26 yr old brother,he got worried and came in to my room,we got into s heated argument,my mind just froze' She looked at Dan and took his hand in hers.
'Go on' Dan encouraged
'He forgot I was ill and I forgot I had a knife,so he was about to punch me as he got furious,so I gripped the knife and I stabbed him in the stomach' Her eyes were full of tears.
'Its okay,babe' He pulled her into a tight hug.
She pulled away and looked up at him.
'But the worst part' She breathed 'I didn't call the ambulance,I just didn't seem to care,my mind took over,after that I sensored myself away from everyone to protect them,I didn't get done cause it was self defense,but I hoped that I would go down so that I would never have to hurt someone again' She continued to sob. Dan took her into another hug and stroked her hair.
'You could never hurt me' He whispered 'Because I know you love me and care,you will always have that'
She continued to cry at his words.
She pulled out from the hug.
'I'm okay with you leaving' She admitted
'You sure?' He asked
'I can take care of myself and Charlotte,I promise'
He kissed her forehead and hugged her again.
'Love you' He whispered
'Love you too' She mumbled into his chest as her last tears dried up.