And So, This Is Love

Alex and I cuddled on the couch in his living room with Baz and Peyton the night before I left. I was kind of surprised when I met his dogs that his dog shared the name of my ex boyfriend, but he assured me that the pound named him and no, he did not name his dog after my ex.

Alex hooked his phone to the stereo at the wall and we sat in each other’s arms contently.

“Do you really…?” I laughed as one of Friday’s songs came on, Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts. My voice came on the entrance, “So you think I’m a bitch, do you? Well at least I have some balls…”

“Hey, I’m a huge fan of you’re music,” Alex chuckled, pulling me tighter into his body.

I blushed, “Well, can we at least change it for now?”

When I had first started gaining stardom, people like Pete or Cameron Leahy would get super embarrassed when I played their music (because I never got over being a band-obsessed fangirl), and I never exactly knew why. As soon as more of our music began to get released suddenly and people were playing it a lot, I understood why.

“No,” Alex said, shaking his head and grabbing me so I couldn’t get up and change it myself. “I love this song.” He sang along to the lyrics. “Shut your mouth, or hunny I’ll shut it for you. But at least I know how you really feel about me.”

“Stooop,” I whined, covering his mouth with my hand. He licked it. I shot away from him. “Alex! That’s gross!”

Alex laughed and stuck it out at me. I rolled my eyes and wiped my palm on my sweats.

“Hey, seriously though, since we’re on the topic of my bands music,” I said suddenly as the song changed to Where Were You? by Every Avenue. “I was thinking we can write and record a song together.” I bit my lip, blushing, thinking that he was going to think that it was cheesy.

Alex smiled, perking up at the idea. I let out a mini sigh of relief. “That’s a great idea! What have you got so far?”

“Well, really nothing, I wanted to run it by you first,” I told him honestly, pulling out my phone and going to my notes. “But you know how I randomly come up with random tidbits of lyrics? I thought of this, and I knew it was about you and I figured we could build on it together.”

I passed Alex my phone, and he read aloud, “Every step you take, every breath that flows, every word you say, I want you to know…That every song you make, every thing that shows, I just need to say that you are beautiful. This was about me? Aww. You’re so sweet.” Alex looked at me with that silly grin I adored and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s nothing amazing,” I said, because if it weren’t obvious, though I was five years into this famous thing I still was really shy about my music skills.

“There isn’t much, sure, but these two lines are catchy on their own,” Alex told me, getting up and going to his room, returning moments later with his tattered black song notebook that was a huge treasure to him and his acoustic guitar.

We sat on the couch and fiddled with music for a little while before it was time to go to his parents for dinner. I slipped into his room for a second and returned wearing the outfit I had packed.

“You look incredible, but I think you should be on a date with Matt, wearing that dress,” Alex joked with me from where he was filling the dogs food and water bowls before we left.

“Do you want me to?” I giggled.

Alex stood up straight after patting the babies goodbye and led me out of the house. “As long as you let me watch you guys have sex,” he said, winking. I rolled my eyes.

We arrived at his parents house not too long after. By now I knew them well and they adored me, but the first time I had met them was one of the most nerve-wracking things in my life. The only other real relationship I had been in was with Peyton, and I had met his mom in a drunken stupor as she yelled at him about spilling liquor on her carpet. She never got on him about drinking, though I knew she didn’t like it, but I also knew that she knew that he would drink anyway and would rather it be at home then out in the scary world. Over time, though, his mom and I became great friends and I would visit her often even after he and I broke up. She was like a second mother to me. The Gaskarth’s were different, though, seeing as it was a formal introduction at some really expensive restaurant downtown, and I had never done that before.

“Good evening, Momma Gaskarth,” I said, grinning as I stepped into the threshold and handed her the bottle of wine Alex and I had brought over.

“How are you, Cayne, dear?” she asked me with a smile. “Oh thank you, you two are such darlings.” She grinned and took the bottle from me, leading the both of us into the kitchen.

“The food smells amazing, as always,” I said, not sucking up at all. Isobel Gaskarth was an incredible cook. She blushed, handing the bottle of wine to her husband to pour out glasses for all of us and went to work stirring whatever was on the stove. “Nothing special, tonight, just some pork loin and mashed onion and garlic potatoes.”

“Nothing special, I’m sure.” I took an extra hanging apron and put it on myself. “Now what can I do to help?”

“The Ravens are playing in the living room, son,” Papa Gaskarth said, taking his son and his glass of wine into the other room while Isobel and I finished up with dinner. Afterwards, we all surrounded the table.

We all were having a fine and dandy time, until Alex began to tell a story about when I got drunk on my first Warped Tour and ended up puking all over Travis Clark of We The Kings. His parents didn’t notice, but Alex is always able to tell when I’m ticked off and got really quiet after that. After we said our goodbyes, we climbed into his car and as soon as he started off, I rounded on him.

“You made me sound like a complete drunk in front of your parents, Alex!” I yelled at him, lowering the window because I felt really hot.

“I did not,” Alex argued. “My parents have heard plenty of drunk stories about me. They understand what the touring life is like and sometimes we just need to unload on stress.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and tell them I snorted coke when I was seventeen,” I growled at him, turning the heat down as well.

“You did what?”

I sighed and began to fiddle with the radio.

“I did not do coke, Alex. But you get what I mean.”

“Why the hell would I tell them you did something that you didn’t?”

“Because you seem to like to run your mouth about me to anybody.”

“That is not true.”

“Whatever.”

We stayed quiet after that, except for Alex occasionally bitching at me for how cold it was but not doing anything about it because even in his anger, Alex liked me feeling comfortable. At this thought I sighed and reached over, taking his hand in mine and giving it a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t want to be fighting the night before I’m going to leave for a week.” We had gone over the details about the photo shoot, and I would indeed be gone for a week.

Alex grinned and squeezed my hand back, forgiving me instantly.