Falling Six Feet

So, let’s just start with all the weirdos involved.

Adam. He’s my best friend and I love him like a brother. But I know he’ll never love a girl like that, because let’s be honest: the dude is fah-laaaaming. Seriously, he’s gay as rainbows and sunshine, and…you get the picture. I’ve known him since 6th grade and I hate to think about the day I met him, because it was NOT pretty. Three of the biggest assholes in the school were all ganging up on the poor kid and all anyone did was just standing around laughing. So I swooped in, kicked ass, and made a new friend in all of maybe two seconds. Ever since then we’ve been attached at the hip.

Victor. I’ve seen the guy around and he hangs out with some cowboy named Micha. He always tends to have a camera on him, taking pictures of anything that moves. By anything that moves, I mean Adam. He seems pretty fascinated but not in the sexual-hormonal-dat-ass-teenager kind of way. Victor seems pretty nice but we don’t talk. Not gonna lie, the dude is a genius. But you will never see a hipster quite like him. I mean, the dude’s such a hipster that he drinks his coffee before it’s cool. (Haha, you see what I did there?)

Moving on to Victor’s best friend: Micha. I don’t really much about the kid, but he is a COWBOY. Look up cowboy in the dictionary and you will see this guy in a nice shiny Stetson hat under the word. His typical dress code: flannel shirt tucked into boot-cut jeans, and those stupid-looking Corral boots that go up mid-calf. Ugh, cowboys. Men should not wear heels…but that’s a whole other story. He’s in two of my classes; my history class and (surprise, surprise) my equestrian class. You can tell I’m not particularly fond of the guy, especially because of his demonic girlfriend.

And speak of the demon herself: Kelsey. This freakin’ bitch. Oh my fucking-okay. Let me tell you about Kelsey. She is the gossip queen of Dark Horse High and also the community whore. (Lovely little Adam nicknamed her that.) Everyone but Micha knows that her legs are spread more than butter on toast. How do we know this? Because she tells everyone. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy Micha’s company. But I don’t wanna see the guy get hurt over some skank who stuffs her bra. Hey, I know tissue-tits when I see ‘em.

You’re probably wondering, “Who the hell is narrating this crap?” Welp, I’m Paige. Let’s just go with…artsy. But everyone at school would probably just stereotype me as your typical emo kid: dark hair, pretty eyes, heavy makeup, and black dresses. As you can tell, I’m wonderfully sarcastic in every response and have my own little world in which no one notices that I know EVERAHTHANG. People just don’t realize that they say so much around me and I just take it all in. I’m a sponge.

The reason I have decided to inform you about all of these lovely human beans, these…people is because I’m stuck in this god-forsaken hellhole called detention with them. On a damn Sunday! Well, Victor The Hipster skipped his gym class and got caught taking pictures inside one of the locker rooms, Demon Bitch got her pretty little head caught in a cloud of cigarette smoke in the girls’ bathroom, Cowboy got in trouble on purpose for talking shit to the teacher in our history class, and Adam hid out in the boys’ locker room during gym class as well. Me? Well, according to Dark Horse High’s grade standards, I’m failing two-too-many classes and require tutoring. Ugh. And guess who my tutor is? Yep. Micha. The fucking cowboy with the bitchy “girl”friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An hour into detention ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you even understand any of what I just said? Or are you purposely not listening to me?”
Get me the fuck out of here. I’m going to go insane. “I was listening, Micheal. And I understand what you said, but I just don’t see the purpose of writing a reflection essay on Hitler’s actions when I’m not the one who even did all of that crazy shit.”
For the past hour, Cowboy had been trying to “help” me write my three page reflection essay on why Hitler’s actions were either justified or unjustified. I personally didn’t give two shits. I enjoy my history, but not when I’m forced to do stupid crappy assignments like this.
“First things first. My name is Micha, not Michael. Get it straight, Goth.”
Oh. Hell the fuck nah.
“WHAT did you just fucking call me? I’m telling’ you right now, Cowboy. I am not some typical fucking stereotype-”
“Woah, woah. I was just kidding. Calm your shit, kid.” He smirked at me. It made me want to vomit. I pointed to the back of my throat and pretended to gag on his words, grabbed my shit, and got up to leave. Well, I was going to leave. Until Cowboy sittin’ across the table decided to grab my wrist like I was his girl.
“Wait. I’m sorry.”
I shook his hand off my arm. I glared at him and stalked off towards the library doors when the detention bell rang. “Thank fucking goodness,” I said to myself. I turned to go to my locker on the second floor. I almost flipped shit when I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Cowboy, if you-oh. Hey, fag.” I always talked to Adam like that. It let him know that I was really his friend instead of some fake ass poser. “Sup, cunt?” he replied with his adorable little boy half-smile. I loved this kid with all my heart, and if anyone ever hurt him…well. They’d have to put up with me.
Still grinning, we chat about our experience in the library as we make our way to my locker. He leaned against the one next to mine, still talking away. I opened my own locker and toss my books into it carelessly. I just want to get out of the building before I see that damned Cowboy again. Adam said something that caught my attention, but I didn’t quite understand him. I was too focused on the hipster staring us down in the hallway. Not in a creepy way, but…curious. It was Victor with his trademark camera, snapping a shot of Adam and I. Adam noticed that I wasn’t looking at him and turned around to see what I was staring at. I looked up to see Adam’s reaction; he was pretty calm about it, but he still had that pretty little smile on his face. Victor made his way down the hallway towards us, both him and Adam still staring at each other. Well, well, well. I slapped Adam on the arm and winked at him. “What?” Victor walked past us and out the side doors to the student parking lot, looking down at his camera and smiling. I caught a glimpse of the photo he was looking at; it was just Adam’s smiling face.
“Well, does somebody have a crush on the hipster?” I asked jokingly.
“Shut up bitch and take me home.”