The Place That Remains

Daryl was avoiding her; that was for certain. Ever since their little encounter, he had mostly avoided the house and the others. It was plainly obvious that that was what he was doing. She felt like marching right across that field to have a little chat with him about the way he was acting. She felt like she was in high school again.

She was sitting on her uncle's old wooden swing which happened to be right near where the group had set up their camp. She noticed him out of the corner of her eye as he meandered through the field that separated his little camp from the rest of his group's. She didn't look directly at him, but she could feel his stare on her. She hadn't meant to make things awkward between them that night. She'd only been caught up in the moment, and he hadn't seemed to mind it much then.

She finally looked up to meet his icy stare but he immediately snapped his head in the other direction, instead looking at T-Dog as he approached the man. She rolled her eyes and pulled her feet up under her body.

"Everything alright, kid?"

Delaney craned her neck to see where the voice had come from and found the old man in his bucket hat standing off to the side. "Fine, Dale," she replied, giving him a fake smile.

"You sure? You don't look fine."

She chuckled and shook her head as he walked around the swing set to stand in front of her. "Just thinkin' is all. Nothin' to worry yourself about."

The old man spotted the shine radiating off her finger as he eased himself down into the empty space next to her. "Wedding ring, huh? Married?"

Delaney lifted her hand up from her thigh to stare down at the rings on her finger before glancing back at the old man sitting next to her. "Was. I lost him about a month ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied with a sympathetic look. "I know how it is to lose a spouse. Lost my Irma to cancer."

"I'm sorry."

He smiled as he looked out into the distance. "Don't be. We had some good years together. That's what counts, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded, her own smile creeping onto her features. "So what's the story with you and that RV?" She had only talked to the man a few times in passing and she hadn't really gotten to know him like she had other members of his group, but she was always curious to find out how they had survived when the world first went to shit and how they'd all met up with each other.

"I bought that thing years ago. Irma and I were gonna do some traveling when we retired but she passed before we got that chance."

"Oh," she mumbled awkwardly. Now she felt stupid for asking such a question. "I'm sorry," she apologized again.

Dale chuckled to himself. "Don't worry about it, kid. It was just an innocent question. Besides, that RV has come in pretty handy since the whole world went crazy."

"I'll bet it has."

"Now tell me, have you heard the story-" He was interrupted by Carol calling his name from inside the RV and he looked back at Delaney apologetically. "I'll save it for another time," he said, patting her knee as he stood up from the swing.

She nodded and watched him leave before her attention gradually shifted back to the man that had previously had her attention. Daryl was still standing there, one foot propped up on an old stump as he talked with T-Dog, avoiding looking at her at all costs. She decided to ignore him and forget about the whole thing so she stretched out across the swing and leaned her head back, closing her eyes as the sun warmed her entire body.

She'd been lying there undisturbed for only a few minutes when she heard Maggie yelling for her from the front porch. Without question, she jumped up and immediately took off running toward the house, the panic in Maggie's voice sending chills up her spine. She yanked the screen door open, not even looking at the two women on the porch as she passed them, and hurried into the house. "What the hell happened?" she asked as soon as she was inside.

"It's Beth. She broke the mirror in the bathroom and tried to cut her wrist," Maggie told her sadly.

Her hands went up to cover her mouth. "Oh, my God. Is she okay?"

Maggie nodded slowly, glancing back at the door to her sister's room. "She was bleedin' a lot but Dad says she's gonna be fine." She rubbed her forehead as tears welled up in her eyes. "She was tryin' to convince me we should both do it ourselves before the walkers get us. I just took a little break to get some air. She was supposed to be watchin' her."

"Who was?"

"Andrea. I was only gone for a few minutes!"

She laid a comforting hand on her shoulders. "I'm just gonna go talk to them outside for a minute. I'll be right back."

Delaney turned on her boot heel and walked back to the screen door, shoving it open with her palm and storming out onto the porch. Andrea, who was sitting in the rocking chair and Lori, who sat on the railing on the opposite side of the porch, both stood up when they saw her.

"Someone wanna tell me what the hell happened in there?"

Lori gave Andrea a glare and shook her head. "We'd put her on a suicide watch," she muttered. "But we disagreed on how to handle it."

Delaney narrowed her eyes at the two women standing across from her and crossed her arms over her chest. "Disagreed how?"

"I said it's her decision on how she wants to go," Andrea replied matter-of-factly.

"And I disagreed," Lori quickly added.

"You knew she was suicidal so you just left her alone in there to kill herself? Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

"She should be able to choose," Andrea defended. "You can't treat her like a child."

"She is a child," Delaney spat harshly back at her. "I better not ever see you near my family again, understand?" She glared at the blonde for a moment before storming away from them and back into the house. She and Andrea hadn't seen eye to eye ever since she had arrived on her uncle's farm and she didn't see them ever getting along. This was absolutely uncalled for. Andrea didn't even know Beth.

She shut the door to Beth's room behind her and Hershel looked up from his youngest daughter's face for a moment to find his niece standing there. She gave him a soft smile as she silently made her way over to the side of Beth's bed and knelt down to be closer to her. Hershel adjusted the bandage on her wrist before he cleared his throat and stood up, exiting the room to give the two girls some time together.

Delaney sank down into the chair that her uncle had previously occupied and leaned forward, gently grabbing her cousin's hand. Beth just stared at her curiously while she debated on whether or not to tell one of her stories.

Finally, she let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. "You know, I thought about doing it myself one time. It was right after I lost Jake. I was in the middle of the woods and I didn't have a damn clue what I was doing. I'd had people taking care of me my entire life. Seth and Jake had taken care of me when the world went to shit, and then when Seth died, Jake took care of me. Now, suddenly I was alone and I had to take care of myself and I didn't know how."

Beth remained silent but she stared at her cousin, proof she was listening attentively.

"I found this little, sort of, hole in some rocks. Kind of like a tiny cave, just big enough for me to get inside. I piled up some branches and rocks in front of the opening so I was completely hidden and then I crawled inside and I just cried for awhile. I was scared out of my mind. I had this .40 caliber that Seth had given me right before he asked me to put him down and I just held it in my hand. All night."

Delaney frowned to herself as the memories of that night came flooding back into her brain. She could still feel how cold it had been that night, and how dark it had been because of the new moon. "I just wanted to end it all. I had lost everything I loved and I thought it was pointless for me to go on living, putting myself through all that stress and constant fear. I'd completely lost my will to live at that point."

"What made you change your mind?" Beth asked softly, her wide blue eyes focused on her cousin.

She was silent for a moment, pondering the younger girl's question, but then a soft smile crept onto her face. "Seth and Jake. They both died protecting me. I was alive because they'd sacrificed themselves. If I had actually gone through with it, then they would've died for nothing. I promised myself that, from that point on, I would try my damndest to stay alive for them. Because they loved me so much, they'd died to give me that chance."

Delaney moved from the chair to sit next to her cousin on the bed, still grasping her hand. "Bethy, you're so lucky. You still have your dad, your big sister, Patricia and Jimmy, your favorite cousin-- we're all still here and we love you. This family has been through so much hell already. We have to stay alive for each other." She quickly wiped the tears off her cheeks as the young blonde watched her carefully.

"I'm sorry, De," she finally whispered.

She ignored the girl's apology as she reached up to brush a strand of hair from her face."I love you, kid. You just scared the hell outta me."