Seize the Day

When I walked through the front door, I could tell Zacky was still not home. Which I was thankful for. At least I wouldn't have to explain where I was to him, because he wouldn't know I was even gone.

I walked into his room and sat on the edge of the bed. I leaned back on my hands and looked at the ceiling, thinking about all the things that went on in the span of a couple hours. I sighed and heard someone walking out on the front porch. I walked back out to the front door and looked out the window.

It was Zacky. He was pacing the length of the porch, hastily smoking the cigarette between his lips. I slowly opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. Zacky shot me a quick glare and continued pacing. I crossed my arms and leaned against the house, looking down at the wood floor.

"So... how's Brian doing tonight?" Zacky spat, his words like venom.

I looked up at him quickly. "...How would I know? I've been home all night," I said, trying to sound calm and casual.

He laughed. It made me sick to my stomach; he knew. "I see you're still lying to me. Mag-fucking-nificent."

"I'm not lying. I don't know what you're on about..." I said. He stormed over to me.

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME! I was there! I saw you leave his house!" he yelled at me, getting close to my face. My eyes widened in horror. "Yeah, that's right. I was walking right past his house when you fucking came out his front door. So, I hid in the bushes and followed you home. And its funny..." he said, quieting his voice and adding a small laugh. "...Even though I know what you did, I still feel terrible knowing that we're even now."

I knew exactly what he meant by that. "Who was it?" I asked quietly, not daring to look up at him.

"Remember that stripper who gave me a lap dance for my birthday? It was her. I went back there tonight cuz I needed to get my mind off you. And she was there. And its amazing that I feel bad about sleeping with her..." he said, laughing again.

"You fucking cheated on me with a stripper?!" I asked, raising my voice.

"Oh, don't even go there. YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND!" he yelled, raising his fist like he was ready to strike.

"What are you gonna do, Zacky?! HIT ME?! Come on, fucking hit me. Do it," I yelled in his face. I watched as his expression contorted in anger -- more anger -- and he closed his eyes and sighed deeply before slamming his fist into the side of the house right next to my head.

"No, I'm not going to fucking hit you Kimmy. You wanna know why? Because for some fucking reason I just can't shake the fact that I still fucking love you. I don't get it... There's gotta be something fucking wrong with me," he mumbled as he slumped down against the side of the house. He put his face in his hands, leaving it there for awhile. "You know, its really fucking ironic that you get pregnant with my kid, abort it... and then have sex two weeks later," he said lowly as he picked his head up and leaned it back against the side of the house. "Just... just tell me why..." he said quietly; it almost sounded like he was crying.

I sighed deeply and sat down across from him, leaning against the porch railing. "...I don't know..." I whispered.

He groaned. "Come on, there's gotta be a reason why you'd sleep with my best friend and betray my trust in you and my trust in him..." he said with an air of annoyance.

"Zacky... I just... I wasn't thinking straight. I was emotionally unstable and my feelings got fucked up," I said quietly.

We sat in silence for a long time. I could hear the crickets chirping out in the grass.

"...I really don't want to lose you..." I heard Zacky groan from his spot across from me.
"We both fucked up; there's nothing we can do about it. But..." he sighed. "I can't not be around you. You... you're like a fucking drug. An itch that I just can't seem to scratch. So... if you're willing, I want to just... take a step forward, put this whole... thing behind us, and move on."

I looked at him like he had grown another head. Here he was, sitting here telling me he doesn't want us to be over, after I just slept with his best friend. After what I'd done he was willing to forgive me and move on. And if he could do that, then I could certainly forgive him for cheating on me as well.

"Alright. I guess we can try that. But... I think I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight. Just to cool down a little more. For the both of us," I said.

He nodded his head. "Okay, you can do that," he replied as he stood up. He held his hand out for me and I looked at it before I grabbed it and he pulled me up. We walked back inside and I sat down on the couch.

"Do you... need anything? Blankets or something?" he asked quietly.

"Nah, I'm good thanks. G'night Zacky," I whispered.

"G'night..." he replied before he turned around and went into his room.

I kicked off my shoes and pulled off my socks and belt, and then my bra from under my shirt. I set them no the coffee table and laid back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. Then it hit me.

Tomorrow was school. What would happen when Zacky and Brian saw each other?...

"Hey... wake up..." I heard as I was shaken awake. I slowly opened my eyes to see Zacky's brother kneeling next to the couch. "Zacky told me to come wake you up while he got ready."

I nodded my head slowly and sat up as Matt left to his room. I grabbed my stuff off the coffee table and walked into Zacky's room while he was in the shower.

I waited on the bed until he came into the room fully dressed. I grabbed some clothes to wear for the day and silently walked to the bathroom, getting in the shower. After we were both ready to go, Zacky and I got into his car and headed off to school. The ride started off with a heavy silence.

"So... how's that couch?" Zacky asked, trying to lighten the mood that was looming over from the previous night.

I kind of smiled at his attempt. "Its actually not that bad. But your bed definitely beats it," I replied.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to sleep in my bed tonight..." he trailed off. I just nodded and didn't bother to make a disagreement.

We finally got to the school and Zacky found a parking space. We got out and headed over to where our friends always were before school started up. Zacky kept his gaze on the pavement in front of his feet, and kept his hands stuffed into his pockets.
"Hey guys," I heard Matt's voice say as we approached them.

I looked up, being that I was walking the same way as Zacky was, and my eyes immediately landed on Brian. I quickly averted my gaze to Zacky and saw that his eyes were filled with hate.

Out of nowhere, Zacky jumped at Brian, punching him across the face. Brian just stumbled back, but took the blow showing no sign of retaliation.

"Whoa... what the hell was that for, man?" Matt asked, looking bewildered.

"THAT WAS FOR FUCKING MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU FUCKING PRICK!" Zacky yelled, clearly aiming that comment toward Brian. He went to lunge forward again but Matt and Jimmy came and pulled him back a couple feet.

"Get the fuck off me!" Zacky shouted, but neither Matt nor Jimmy loosened their grip.

"Let him go guys," Brian said quietly, looking down to the pavement. Matt and Jimmy looked at him like he was crazy, and Zacky looked utterly confused for a second, before they let him go.

"Hit me again," Brian said, looking right at Zacky. Zacky didn't need to be told twice, and he lunged at Brian again, giving him another solid punch to the cheekbone. Zacky just repeatedly pounded on Brian over and over again, relentlessly. And Brian took every blow without fighting back. It was as if Brian wanted to get the shit kicked out of him.

I couldn't take it anymore and I slipped in between the two of them, shielding Brian from Zacky. I put my hands up to try and stop his arms, but thankfully Zacky knew better than to hit me.

"Kimmy, get out of the way..." Zacky said lowly.

"No. I'm not moving. I thought you said you were gonna put all this behind us..." I replied.

"Yeah, that was for you and me. Not Brian and I, now get out of the way."

"No! I'm not gonna let you do this to him," I said defiantly, crossing my arms across my chest. I felt a hand on my shoulder from behind. It was lightly trying to push me aside. I turned to Brian and got a good look at the damage. His lip was busted in two places, and his nose was bleeding profusely. He had a bruise already forming on his left cheek.

Kim, please don't do this. I don't want you to get hurt," Brian said.

"DON'T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO HER GODDAMNIT!" Zacky barked. I turned back to Zacky and stepped forward, placing my hands on his arms.

"Brian, go have the nurse fix you up," I said to him from over my shoulder, and I saw him walk around us into the building. "You... you come with me," I hissed at Zacky and dragged him back to where the car was parked.

"What the fuck was that about!?" I asked as I leaned up against the side of the car.

"He fucking deserved it. I don't want you to be around him unless I'm with you, do you understand me?" he ordered.

"Whatever..." I mumbled. He came up and leaned next to me on the car.

"Do you love him?" Zacky asked after it was silent for a couple minutes.

"What?!"

"I said... do you love him?" he repeated.

"No. I love you Zacky. What the fuck are you on?" I said, shocked that he would ask such a thing.

"Are you sure?"

I sighed. "Yes. I'm sure. I can already tell things are going to be a lot different now."

"Of course they're going to be different," Zacky replied. "But I still want to make it through this..." he said as he placed a hand on my cheek.

I nodded my head slowly, wiping away the tear of frustration that was just about to roll down my cheek. I heard the bell ring in the distance, and we both looked toward the school to see that most people were already inside.

"We should probably get in there," I said quietly. Zacky nodded and took my hand as we walked back into the building.

School was out for the day, and as I met up with Zacky at his car, I saw Brian leaving the building.

"Why are you staring at him? I told you I don't want you to go near him; don't get any ideas," Zacky said, trying to keep his temper from rising.

"Please... can I just go talk to him?" I asked as I kept my eyes on him as he walked the length of the parking lot to find his car.

"No. I already told you Kimmy..." he replied, and it sounded like he was clenching his teeth.

"Zacky, you know I'm gonna go talk to him whether you like it or not..." I said lowly back at him. He sighed and leaned back against his car.

"Alright. Five minutes. That's it," he finally reasoned.

"Okay. I'll be right back," I said before I followed Brian, who thankfully parked his car out of Zacky's view.

I made it to his car just as he was getting inside.

"Brian..." I called to him, and he looked up just as he was about to shut the door. He didn't say a word.

"I'm sorry... about what happened earlier. He shouldn't have laid a hand on you..." I said once he'd opened the door all the way.

"No. He had every right to do what he did. I shouldn't have laid a hand on you..." Brian said in a quiet, slow manner.

"Don't say that. I wanted it too Brian... I wanted it too," I whispered.

He nodded slowly. "I just wish things between us were different when we were younger. Things could have changed. But they didn't," he sighed. "Listen, I really gotta go. I'll see you around I guess..." he said. I nodded, and he shut the door and started the car. I waved and he nodded his head at me as he pulled out of the parking space. He drove off and I walked back to Zacky's car. He was already sitting inside so I got in next to him.

"You make good time..." he tried to joke, but I just kept my gaze focused out the window next to me.

Time passed. We graduated. Zacky and Brian reconciled their differences, and there were no hard feelings between them. I was starting UCLA come the end of August, and the boys were set to leave on tour a week before I left, so as a group we hung out as much as possible. I just had this feeling that once things were on a roll, I wouldn't probably never see them again. They had the talent to become something big, and they would undoubtedly forget me. I would be on a college campus with the chance to meet all new people, but I would never forget them. They'd only been in my life for a mere nine months, but we had a bond that felt like we'd been friends for much longer.

As for Zacky and I, we both thought it was best we end things on a good note on the day he left for tour. We both understood that the prospect of meeting new people were very likely and that if we ended things with no hard feelings, we could move on if necessary.

As for Matt and Val, they planned on staying together while Avenged Sevenfold toured. It would be an easy task to accomplish, since Val was assigned to be their tour manager and would be going with them.

Brian, on the other hand, had found himself a new girl. It was Val's twin sister, Michelle. Their relationship was still in the early stages, so no one could really predict how long they were going to last.

"Kimmy, I love you so much..." Zacky whispered as we embraced tightly in the darkness of his bedroom. His bags were packed; he was leaving tomorrow. We both were dreading it, to say the least.

I breathed in deep. "Zacky, make love to me. One last time..." I whispered into his neck. If this was the last night I was ever going to spend with him, I wanted to spend it in an intimate way.

He pulled away from me slightly, looking into my sad eyes. His green eyes still intoxicated me. "Alright," he said quietly before kissing me softly. He kept kissing me lightly, occasionally giving a few harder ones. He slowly peeled off my shirt, and I did the same to him, gliding my hands over his bare skin. He pulled me to him by my hips and leaned down to kiss my collarbone. I slowly undid his belt, pulling it from his belt loops. I felt his hands slide down to my butt as my nimble fingers unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

Soon we were on the bed, under the cover, clad in our bare skin and nothing more. Zacky kept softly kissing my skin, running his hands over my body as if he were memorizing ever detail of me. I had asked him not to use a condom, which after the whole abortion situation he didn't feel comfortable doing, but I convinced him into it by reasoning that I'd been on the pill for quite some time. For this one last time, I wanted to feel just me and him, our bodies together; the core feeling of making love.

So as he lay there on top of me, hesitating penetration, I traced small circles on his lower back. Occasionally I tried to pull him into me, but he was too strong and my idea didn't work.

Once he finally entered me, he kept a slow pace, holding himself up by his arms. He kept eye contact with me as I slowly pulled my fingers through his black hair. His slow pace was driving me insane, but I understood what he was doing. He was taking his time, savoring every second of it, as was I.

I kept moaning and sighing every now and again, when the feelings inside almost became too much for me to handle. I enjoyed seeing the look Zacky would get in his eyes when I'd moan out his name. It was wonderful, not having to be rushed or hurried.

After climaxing, I finally felt him spill inside me. The feeling was indescribable. This was the most intense, most passionate time we'd ever shared together.

He pulled out slowly, and lowered his body down onto mine, resting his head in the crook of my neck. I felt him kiss my damp skin a couple times as I slowly ran my fingertips up and down his back, feeling his breathing even out. He was almost asleep.

"Thank you Zacky," I whispered.

"Mhmmm..." he said quietly.

"I love you baby."

"I love you... too..." he said, falling into a deeper sleep.

After a few moments, I had closed my eyes and let sleep consume my body.

The morning came. We were all outside Matt's house and the guys were packing their stuff into the van they'd be touring in. Zacky finished up, and walked over to me.

"Don't cry Kimmy..." he said as he wiped my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I'm gonna miss you so much Zacky..." I whispered as I hugged him tightly. All too soon he pulled from the embrace, placed a small kiss on my lips, and got in the van with the rest of the guys and Val. I already said my goodbyes to them before. The van pulled from the driveway, and rolled off down the street. Michelle and I were the only ones standing there, and we stood together at the end of the driveway, watching as the van disappeared in the distance.

I guess this is goodbye...