The Hand of Destiny

I was back where I started, in a way. Going to a party, filled with apprehension but nothing to lose.

I looked at myself in the mirror, it was five to seven and I was still in my pyjamas.

Whoops. Guess I’m going to be fashionably late.

I walked over to my new wardrobe and grabbed a pair of ripped black skinnies with red handprints on the back. I didn’t even need to open the wardrobe since I was too lazy to shut the door last time I used it.

T-shirt wise, I opted for a plain black shirt and my leather jacket which was draped on the edge of my bed. My hair was still straight from yesterday so I didn’t need to re do it. I did however, need to fix my eyeliner and possibly put some foundation under my eyes - which are red from where I hadn’t been sleeping much.

I fixed up my make-up and grabbed my keys and phone off the table. I guess the one good thing about the party being next door was that’s there was no long and cold walk back.

Stepping out of my apartment, I pulled the door towards me until I heard the lock click and then knocked on the one next to it.

I'd expected Jinxx, so I was a little surprised when a guy with black hair and a bandana opened the door.

He grinned and gestured for me to come in before bouncing off back to a group of people by the tv without a word. My company left as soon as it came, so I turned and shut the door before I scanned around for Jinxx. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to go to a party where I don’t know anyone. Still, if I wanted to go back home, it was only next door.

I looked around the room; it was only twenty past seven and there was already red paper cups everywhere on the floor, one with a guy still attached to it. Considering he looked passed out though, I’m going to assume he’d been drinking most of the day…

Suddenly, I felt someone tap my shoulder, had I have been holding a drink like everyone else at the party, I probably would have dropped it in surprise.

“Ashley!”

I let out a small sigh of relief and turned round as I recognised the voice.

“Hey Jinxx!” I replied, talking louder than usual to be heard over the voices of everyone else in the room.

“Come over here, you need to meet some people!”

He grabbed my arm and led me over to the group of people the guy with the bandana had disappeared into earlier.

“Guys, this is my new neighbour Ashley! Ashley, these are my friends”

I looked up as he started to point to people.

“This is Jake” Jake smiled at me from behind his cup.

“This is C.C” Bandana guy!

“This is Ronnie” I swear I’ve seen him before, is he in a band?

“And this-” he grabbed a guy walking past with a drink and pulled him over.

“Is my best friend Andy!” I looked up sharply.

“Andy, this is-”

“Ashley!” Andy finished for him.

Jinxx just stood there looking confused.

“You guys know each other?”

Andy chuckled in that deep velvet voice of his.

“You know I said about the guy staying with me until he got his apartment sorted?”

Understanding dawned on Jinxx’s face.

“Penny dropped?” I asked with a small smile.

“Oh, okay cool! Ah, that’s why you moved in here- ah I get it!”

Andy clapped slowly but his smile wasn’t mean.

“Well done Jinxx, well done” he teased. Jinxx just rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Well, I’ll chat to you guys later, I gotta go mingle!”Jinxx said as he briefly waved at us before moving back into the growing crowds of people in his apartment again.

Andy turned to me and smiled. He was wearing a lip ring today, and yeah, that’s hot.

Wait, what am I thinking?

“You wanna get some drinks?” he asked, leaning closer to me so that I could hear him.

I nodded and followed him since I had no idea where anything was. He took me to the kitchen where bottles of drinks were lined up along the counter, labels on show.

“What do you want?” he asked me.

I looked over the bottles until I saw one I wanted.

“That one please” I reached out and pointed. As I stretched my arm out my sleeve fell back, revealing old scars littering my arm. I hurried to pull it down; while I’d stayed with Andy I had always worn long sleeves so he wouldn’t see the results of my lowest points in life.

I silently prayed he hadn’t noticed. I looked up cautiously and the look in his eyes told me he had. All I could think of to do was ro run, to do the thing I always fell back on. I started to run away, I could hear him calling me but I refused to stop.

He probably thinks I’m so pathetic…

I ran up the stairs two at a time until I got to the set of metal stairs that led to the roof. I climbed up and pushed the door open, causing the cold air to rush in and slap my skin.

Once again I ignored Andy’s calls and walked out on to the roof, the stars shining above me.

“Ashley!”

I remained still and didn’t turn around even though he was very close to me now, based on how much louder his voice sounded than before.

“Ashley!” I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me round to face him, leaving him within a metre of me.

“Ashley! I…” he was breathing heavily from running. I looked down, refusing to meet his eyes.

This really is de ja vu-y, you know?

A party, a problem and a saviour.

He tilted my head up with his fingers just like the first time.

“Ashley, I’m not judging you, okay? I just want you to be okay”

“I’m fine Andy…” I breathed lightly, lying fluently after so much life long practice of hiding how I truly feel.

“But you’re not though, and that’s the thing…”

“Why would you care though? Who would you want to be seen with me? The guy who people openly stare at in the streets if I’m not wearing long streets? I’m so flawed Andy, and then there’s you who is so amazing and so caring and-”

“Ash” he cut me off.

He leaned closer to me, his head less than a foot from mine.

“Beautiful doesn’t always mean perfect, Ash”

He pulled my arm up and kissed my wrist. Slowly, he moved up my arm, pushing two more kisses against my cold skin.

He looked up at me, blue eyes shining under the light of the stars.When he pushed his lips to mine, gentle and cautious, I responded almost immediately. We moved together as he placed his hands on either side of my waist, holding me gently.

“ANDY?!”

We broke apart abruptly at the exclamation and I saw a man standing in the roof entrance, light from the stairwell illuminating his features.

“Kier?”

What the hell is going on?

“Who are you?” I asked the stranger with the dyed red fringe.

He moved forward and scowled.

“Andy’s boyfriend.”