You're the Only Light

The past 3 days of School were horrible. I wasn't even sure how I could even manage to stay alive. All the insults I was getting really made me want to die, but I got someone by my side, who wouldn't want me to give up like that. Brian really had a change of heart. He's no longer the guy who hates my guts and wants to hurt me. He's the guy who I know I can actually trust my life with. Things really are fucked up, in my mind. 

"What shall we do this beautiful weekend?" Brian asked as we walked out of the school building. It was Friday and school wasn't so bad today. It almost made me think people have given up on me. 

Just as I was about to answer, Zack and Jimmy came into our view. I started to get nervous and scared. I felt like I was going to get sick and I hated this! I shouldn't have to fear my friends, but they're not my friends anymore. 

Brian snaked an arm around my waist to comfort me and to show that he wasn't going to let anything happen to me. "What do you want?" Brian hissed, while glancing between the two. 

Zack rolled his, "This is getting really old, Brian! You hated her since kindergarten and now you're best friends with her? What the fuck man? Did she pay you or something?" 

"Funny," Brian scoffed, "The way Matt and you guys are acting is getting old! So what if I hated her? People can change, ya know?" He tightened his grip around me, as I waited in silence, wondering what was going to happen next. 

That made Zack snort, "What is it going to take to get this through your head?! She is a fucking whore! All she wants from you, is to get in your pants! We're your friends, dude. Not her. We're trying to protect you!" 

Brian's arms started to tremble and I glanced down to see his hands forming into fists. He was glaring holes into Zack's face, "I swear to god, Baker! Say another fucking thing about her and your face will be smashed into the pavement! If you were my friend, then you would support me in this, so fuck you!" 

"Whatever, Brian. That was your last shot. You're on your own now. You're just as gone as she is." Zack sneered and Brian let go of my waist. He was about to lung forward, but I grabbed his arm. I wasn't going to let him fight, not today. 

Zack walked away and Jimmy kind of lingered, staring at us. I seen a flicker of sympathy flash through his blue eyes and I wasn't sure what to think of that. 

Brian seemed to know, "Whenever those assholes become too much to deal with, you can come hang out with us."

Jimmy smiled, that goofy smile of his and it made me feel good inside. It's been a long time since I seen someone, besides Brian, smile at me. 

"Jimmy, let's go!" Zack shouted and Jimmy gave us an apologetic smile, before running off to catch up with Zack. We watched Zack and Jimmy pile into Matt's truck, causing sadness to fill up in my heart. Friday was always park day, where we would spent the night, drinking, and some smoked until it hit morning. I was now realizing this was my first park day that I wasn't going to. 

Brian put a hand on my forearm, pulling me out of my thoughts, "It's okay, Kodi. We can have fun without them." He reassured me. 

I gave him a half smile as a response and he accepted it, "So where do you want to go? We could go to my house? My brother is home, so he'll probably be annoying as ever." 

"We can go to my house. I mean there's not much to do, but it's better than nothing." I suggested, knowing this was probably our best option.

Brian nodded, "Alrighty, your house it is. Let's get to it!" He started walking and then stopped. A frown formed on my lips as he turned to me with a crooked smile on his face, "Race you?" 

 "On your mark-" I said while getting in line with him. 

He smirked while leaning forward, "Get set-" 

I mocked his expressions before saying, "Go!"

We both took off running for his car that was on the other side of the school parking lot. I played soccer for 5 years, so running came natural to me. Halfway through the parking lot, Brian was slowing down. I, on the other hand was just getting started. Finally, I got to the car and turned around to see Brian jogging over to me. 

"Damn," He said, trying to catch his breath, "You should be on track or something." Brian hunched over, trying to catch his breath. 

I chuckled, while patting his back, "I've played soccer for five years, maybe you should try it and you would probably be able to beat me." I teased, playfully. 

Brian gave me the finger, while grinning, "I'll find something to beat you at. Now, c'mon. I need a smoke." He said while walking around the car to the driver's side. I got in the passenger side and he started the car up. I flicked the radio on, which was a routine thing for me now. I picked our favorite rock station and Motley Crue filled the speakers of the car. 

We both smiled at each other and he peeled out of the parking lot. Once we got to the first stop sign, he pulled out his cigarettes and handed them to me, "Here, we'll share. You can light it." I did as he said and took a long drag off the cigarette. I let the smoke fill my lungs and I exhaled, handing it over to him. 

Between the two of us, the cigarette was done before we got to my house. Once he pulled into the driveway, I noticed my Mom's car was home. I started to get curious, because she has no clue that I've been hanging out with Brian, so I wanna see how she reacts. 

Brian parked his car and turned to me, "How do you think your Mom is going to react?" I shrugged my shoulders as a response, because I really didn't know. 

We got out of the car and headed to my front door. Knowing someone was home, I opened the door, knowing it wouldn't be locked. I let Brian in and shut the door, "Mom? I'm home!" 

"In the Kitchen, honey!" She called after me. 

I turned to Brian, "Well let's see how this goes." He chuckled a bit and we headed down the hallway towards the kitchen. As we walked in the room, I could smell chocolate chip cookies. It made my stomach growl. I didn't eat at lunch, because I can't find myself comfortable to eat at school. 

Mom pulled out a tray of cookies and placed them on top of the oven and she took her oven mitt off. She turned around, "Hi, Honey-" She noticed Brian, "Brian? What are you doing here?" She asked as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. 

Brian smiled innocently, "Just wanted to hang out with Dakota." 

She grinned in approval and turned her head in my direction, "Is he the one that you've been hanging out with the past week?" I nodded and bit my lip, wondering how she was going to take this. 

"Aw! We knew you guys would finally get over it!" She exclaimed, happily. 

Brian and I frowned, "We?" 

Mom chuckled and grabbed a plate from the cupboard without looking away from us, "Jan and I," She looked at Brian with a small smile on her lips, "You always used to help your Mom and I take care of Dakota when you were real little. Matt used to get so mad," She laughed, letting the memory float through her brain, "Jan and I always said you two would end up together-"

I cut her off, "Mom, we're just friends. I mean we just got over a 10 year feud." 

She rolled her eyes, playfully, "You guys never hated each other. You're just in love with each other and at the time you two didn't know what that was, so you just started taking it out on each other." This was going in a way different direction than I thought it would. 

Brian's cheeks were dark red and I'm sure mine were too. I shook my head, trying to think straight again, "Um, we're going up to my room." I gestured to the stairs with my thumb. 

Mom continued to smile and nodded, "Okay, I have to call Jan, anyways!" She walked over to the corded phone that hung on our wall. 

I turned to Brian, "Let's get outta here." 

We got up into my room and I sat on my computer chair right away. Brian looked around the room at the posters that were on my wall. He walked over to my book shelf and looked at all my soccer metals and my pictures. Realization hit me in the face. 

"This is the first time you've been in my room, isn't it?" I asked him. 

Brian turned around and continued to examine, "Yeah, I've been to your house millions of times, but I've never been in here. Pretty sweet room, but it would look even cooler if you had black walls." 

I laughed and nodded, "I agree, but My Mom won't let me. She said that a girl's walls shouldn't be black." 

He chuckled, "Funny. My mom said the same thing to me about my walls, but my room at my Dad's is black." 

I continued to watch him check out my room and he looked in the corner where my garbage can was, "Is that your cell phone in the trash?" 

"Yeah, Mason sent me number to like everyone and I don't really want to deal with that shit at home too." I said in sad tone. 

Brian walked over to the trash can and pulled out the phone. He started to go through it and I didn't really care. I'm sure Mason sent everything he possibly could to the whole school, so whatever Brian sees, I'm sure he's already saw. 

His eyes widened as he stolled down, "Fuck, dude. This is insane. Your phone keeps freezing from all the damn text messages." 

I sighed and crossed my leg over my other leg, "Just toss back in the trash, I don't need it." 

"Well, what if I want to call you?" He asked, while raising his gaze to mine. 

This made me shrug, "Call my house phone." 

He started to smirk, "What if it's busy? What if I want to text you?" 

"You never wanted to before," I rolled my eyes, letting an old habit slip. I sighed and Brian dropped the phone back in the trash can. 

Brian walked over to me, "Kodi, I'm sorry for everything." 

"I know you are, I'm just under a lot of stress. I didn't mean to say that." I apologized, since I was the one who said that. 

He sighed and sat on the edge of my bed, "I know you are. That's why I'm here for you. You can talk to me about anything.." I knew what he was hinting at. 

I started to get worried. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this. It happened almost a week ago and I still haven't talked to anyone about it. I tried to explain it to Matt, but look where that got me. Brian is just starting to be my friend and I don't want to lose him. I just got him. Selfish, I know, it's just not the right time. 

"It's okay, Kodi. You don't need to tell me anything yet. Just know whenever you want to talk about it, I'll be here for you." Brian spoke in the most comforting way he could. 

It made me smile, "I really don't know what I would do without you now." 

He frowned, "Let's not think about that." He's right. 

I decided to change the subject, "So you used to help my Mom take care of me?" I asked, wanting to know what was up with that. 

Brian scratched the back of his head, "I guess, I mean that was a really long time ago. I remember when I was in Pre-K and I was at your house, your Mom was making lunch and Matt wanted to play cops and robbers. You were sitting in your playpen and I was playing with you and this barbie or something," He laughed, "Matt got so mad that I kept playing with you. He actually told your Mom, but she told him to let us be." 

I was shocked at this, "Wow, and just a year later, we started to hate each other." 

Brian chuckled, "I was a weird kid." 

"So was I." 

A comfortable silence fell upon us, only to get broken by my door being opened up. Matt came storming in, causing Brian and I to stand to our feet. 

He didn't hesitate in grabbing Brian's collar, "You have no right to be in my house after you betrayed me! Get the fuck out!"

I got some sudden will power, "Who the fuck do you think you are? Brian is my friend and you're not going to kick him out, so get the fuck out of my room!" I shouted at my brother, I wasn't afraid of what he would do here. 

Matt just pretended like I wasn't even there, "Move, Haner or I'm throwing you out!" 

Brian scoffed, "I'd like to see you try." 

That's all Matt needed to hear, he slammed Brian up against my bedroom wall making a loud thud that shook the whole house. He swung at Brian, but Brian ducked, causing Matt's fist to go through my wall. Matt cursed loudly and grabbed Brian's collar. He swung, this time hitting Brian in the eye. 

I screamed in fear, "Matthew, stop!" 

Brian stumbled a bit and swung at Matt, nipping him on the jaw. Matt groaned, "Fucking asshole, get out of my house!" 

"I'm not leaving until Dakota tells me to leave!" He declared, while shoving Matt to the ground. 

Matt grabbed him and pulled him to the ground. Everything escalated pretty fast and I didn't know what to do. Thankfully, My Mom heard the noise and ran into my room, "What is going on?!" She rushed over the two and yanked on Matt, who was socking punch after punch in Brian's face. 

"Matthew Charles Sanders! Go to your fucking room!" She finally pulled him off of Brian. Matt got to his feet and wiped his mouth that had blood on it. 

Mom didn't let go of Matt, "What has gotten into you?" 

Matt scoffed, "Why don't you ask the whore you call your daughter!" 

"Matthew! You do not talk about your sister like that-"

He cut her off, glaring right at me, "I don't have a sister." He said in a dark, cold voice. If I wasn't so worried about Brian, I would probably be crying right now. 

Mom let go of Matt's arm, "Go to your room! Your Father will deal with you when you get home!" 

Matt shook his head, "Fuck that! I'm out of here!" He ran out of the room, before Mom could say he was grounded. We heard his truck leave and I walked over to Brian, who was sitting up, holding his nose. It was trickling out blood. 

"Are you okay?" I asked, worriedly. 

He nodded, "Yeah, just a bloody nose and black eye, no biggie." Brian shook it off like it was a bump to the wall. 

Mom helped Brian to his feet, "Here sit on the chair and tilt your head back. I'll get you some tissues. Kodi, come downstairs with me, so you can make an ice pack." I nodded and followed her downstairs. 

She grabbed some tissues and the first aid kit. I put icecubes in a sandwich bag and reached out for the stuff in her hands, "I got this, Mom." 

"What happened with you and Matt?" She asked, feeling concerned. 

I shrugged, "I don't know, Mom." 

She sighed, "C'mon, Dakota. Just tell me, I don't need to hear it from someone else." 

"It's a long story for another time. Can you give me the stuff, Brian is probably getting blood everywhere." She finally handed me the stuff and headed back upstairs. 

Well, that got me out of telling her, but I don't how many excuses I can use.