Secrets

When lunch came, I found a table that didn't have any one sitting at it. I sat down expecting a quiet talking-to-no-one lunch. Even though I had been talking to Angel, Liza and Toni, James still wanted nothing to do with me and insisted on sitting as far away from me as possible. And since they refused to leave him, I sat by myself. Pulling my sketchbook out of my backpack, I flipped to a new page and started to doodle.

“Hey Lavi!" said Angel, overly cheerful as always. "What-cha drawing? Toni told me about art class." she said and I blushed. We had drawn the first couple days and now all my work was on the wall of the classroom.

"Awww... Don't be embarrassed! It's sounded really cool! Oh! Can I look through your sketch book?" she asked while reaching for it. I pulled it back quickly.

"No! I mean I never let anyone see it." I said my words turning into mumbles.

My sketchbook is very personal; I’ve never let anyone see it. Even Henry

Then James, Liza and Toni walked up with their lunches.

I guess they convinced him that I’m not that bad.

James looked at what I was drawing before I noticed and moved it away.

For a second after I saw something in James's eyes close to an unimaginable and unbearable pain.
It made me want to hold him close and say everything would be alright. Then it disappeared and James sat down at the table across from me, starting to eat his lunch giving his food his undivided attention.

Was that a bowl of jelly?

After he had finished scarfing down his food, he got up to put his tray away.
I watched him as he walked toward the big table where everyone was putting their trays.

He didn't really walk I noticed. I was more like gliding. As he walked back, he flicked the hair out of his eyes with a quick motion of his head.

Damn, that was hot.

I've never been in an actual relationship before.

I went back to drawing and didn't notice until to late that James was standing right over me watching me doodle. This caused my to squeak like an idiot and cover my doodles up.

"Lavi!" Liza suddenly yelled making me jump. “What?” I asked shyly. "Will you come paint walls with me? They scrubbed off all the paint form last year and I miss the pretty colors." I nodded

"Great! We’ll go now so we can get everything from the art room." Quickly, I stuffed everything into my backpack and hurried to catch up with her.

We got to the art room and took all the paint we could carry; stuffing as many small tubes we could fit into my already full backpack. When Liza found some nice big empty wall space, we set everything down.

"Why don’t you paint some sort of cool scene or something?” She asked, grabbing me a chair to stand on. “Maybe they won’t take it down then.” I nodded and quickly painted on a background that was relatively simple. I started painting a line of elephants, then some other animals that came from the African plains that I knew nothing about.

Before long I was in a sort of trance, completely captivated by the scene emerging before me. Liza would hand me whatever color I asked for and then I would use until I needed another. About fifteen minutes later, I was done.

“Wow.” Liza gasped. “You’re really good. And fast! Is that your gift?”

No." I sighed, "I don't know what my gift is"

I don't know what my ‘gift’ is. When I was four, my mother took me in for special testing because I wasn't showing signs of having one but I had to be special because of my eyes. When they asked what I was really good at, my mother said art. But they said that wasn't my gift. That in fact, it couldn't be. And here I am, almost thirteen years later, with still no idea what my gift is.