The Boy Who Could Fly

"Are you two ready?"
"Sure, Kellin?"
"Dandy." He replied. I turned my head to look at him, his face was blank. How was he so chill and unnerved about this?
*He hates you* No, Its like he doesn't realize today is the funeral.
I gave him a pat on his shoulder and offered him a smile. He lightened up a bit and got up to get his coat. I got up from the couch after he did and went outside. I walked across the yard to my car. I had to get out all the junk from the back seat, papers and notebooks from school.
I won't need these, school was over, and we were on winter break now. And thanks to Kellin being so smart I think I passed all my finals.
I walked back inside and went to pile everything up on my bed. I can deal with all this junk later.
"You ready?" Kellin poked his head in from behind the door.
"Yeah bro. Lets do this."
*not swaggie* oh like I didn't realize that sounds stupid! Stupid voice.
We walked back up to go outside and got in the car. I sat in the back as mom drove and Kellin sat in the passenger seat. I gripped my jacket close to me. I hated cemeteries and funeral homes. It just reminds me of my parents. I don't need to feel more shitty about myself knowing it was my fault they're dead.

"Go boys." My mom shrugged to us to go up.
"Why me?"
"That's your father Kellin."
"But I can't pick him up!" He whispered to her.
"Just do it!" She snapped back. He sighed and got up from the bench we were sitting on. We were here since 8 o'clock and after four hours were finally gonna take the body outside. His new girlfriend insisted waiting longer. Guess after they left he finally let his lover move in with him, like since he didn't have his wife or kid there.
"Douche." I heard Gabe breathe out quietly.
"Tell me about it." Kellin whispered back. It was Kellin, Gabe, Jack, Jesse, Jaime and me holding up the casket to take it to the car. Luckily we held the service inside the same place he would be buried so we didn't have a long walk. It was up a hill though, that sucks I guess. When we finally got up to the far end of the cemetery we got him out again and walked out to a hole where he would stay. Us, the girl friend and her parents, and a few friends that came to California for the funeral all gathered around the hole in the ground. There were sixteen of us in total. It was only so many since Tony, Jaime and Mike came too, and Mike's parents tagged along to support us.

"Now, Mr. Bostwick's son would like to say a few words." Kellin stepped forward with Jesse and stood at the head of the casket. Kellin wouldn't look down at the casket, instead he eyed us all and kept his gaze on the view we had. We could look down at all the other graves, to the gate, down to where there was a freeway next to the cemetery and trees past that.
"I wrote a song about my father, it may not be so nice and loving as it should be, but I don't care. Trophy father's trophy son..."

"Father, father, tell me where have you been?
Its been hell not having you here. I've been missing you so bad, and you don't seem to care.
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there.
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
Do you even miss us?Your bottle's your mistress. I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away? Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause, I'm trying to deal with the pain.
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
I will try to understand
Father, father, tell me where are you now?
Its been hell not having you.
Last thing I heard, you were fed up, you're skipping town. With no note telling where.
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there.
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause I'm trying to deal with the pain.
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know."

Jesse was joined by us as we began to sing our parts. Than Kellin would continue the song.
"Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?" We sang together.

"Spent seven years wishing that you'd drop the line. But I carry the thought along with you in my mind
But is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Family!
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know..
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?"

We ended, listening to Jesse as he played the last notes...
"Why did you sing that?" The girlfriend snapped.
"Excuse me?" We all said in unison. *jinx*
"I said why did you sing that ugly song? Do you think this is a joke?"
"No I don't think it's a joke lady!" Kellin snapped.
"Kellin manners."
"No mom, this lady knew you were married with him! She sent you death threats last year, how could you even stand her? Look lady I don't see you paying for shit so go ahead and talk about us in Michigan, we don't care. And don't expect to keep the house. It's still ours." He ended.
"What the hell?" Her dad asked.
"Oh you didn't know? It's my mom's house, the dude had shitty credit so she bought it in her name and made the payments. So you can go back and move out now."
"No.. They can keep it." My mother said. She kept silent.
"Mom you okay?" I asked.
"No, I'm not. But if they want to keep the place I call hell.. Go ahead Galdyss it's yours." She turned her head and flipped her hair in the wind. Classy..
"Uh whatever." The lady said.
"Oh fine than. I'm selling it." My mother smiled at them and waved her fingers at them, shooing them away. They scolded us all but left.
"Dang mom you got guts." Kellin chuckled to her, giving us a hug.
"No Kellin, I have balls.. And besides, that house is your college tuition."
"What?" He backed away to look at her face.
"Well after the divorce papers were done I wanted to sell the house and use the money to pay for college, hopefully for the both of you. Surprise!" She is the best mom ever.
*not your mom, she's dead* this is my new mom.
"Uhm do you two wanna help bury the body?" Gabe asked holding out a shovel.
"Ssh! You're gonna get us caught." I shot back.
"Boys just hide the evidence quickly." Mother laughed. She looked so happy today, she was finally closing the chapter of her past. And so was Kellin..

"Can I go to the cemetery?"
"Sure." All day yesterday Kellin had been acting strange, he wasn't himself. And this morning his eyes looked like they hadn't been shut for days. He said the rain didn't let him sleep, I couldn't believe that.

"Kellin are you okay?"
"Uhm yeah. I think I'm gonna stay here a bit longer."
"Are you sure, me and Justin can stay if you'd like hon?"
"No I'm fine. Get some rest mom." He gave her a hug and turned around to walk back to the grave.
"He must be hurt." I thought.
"Who knows, they never got along." Mother sighed and got in my car.
"His father hated him from the day he found out I was pregnant. The day I got out of the hospital he tried to kill Kellin. He hurt my son so much." I could see her eyes turn red and the Tears fall down her cheeks. she coughed and wiped them away trying to compose herself.
"Fuck.. I'm just happy to see he never will again."

Kellin's P.O.V.
"Hey pops, dad, father.." I came back and stood there looking down at his grave.
"I don't know why you hated me, but I hated you too. I still do.
I never did anything to make you mad. I always tried to make friends for you, I went to boys outs for a year, I always did good in school. It's not my fault everyone back there hated me. I didn't do anything to make them hate me! Why did you all hate me? Was it because I wasn't meant to live? Did you really blame me for ruining your life?" I looked up at the sky and let a tear flow down. He wasn't up there, he didn't deserve it but if there was a heaven, he'd be sneaky to go up there
"Answer me you son of a bitch. You ruined my childhood. You tried to kill me. You made me want to kill myself! Why did you hate me.. Why did you make my mom hate me? It's your fault! It's all your fault.. You're the reason why she did cocaine, why she hated me, why she drank so much. It's not my fault I was born..." I shouted all these things to his grave. I let it all out right here for him to hear. Wherever he is, he deserves to hear my cries. All these years I blamed myself for everything wrong in my life. But the fault wasn't mine, it was his.
"I hope it kills you, seeing me this way. I know it won't. But I know that you're miserable, it's all your fault. You did this to yourself." I wiped the tears away and brushed my pants off a bit. These were ruined already by all the mud from the rain. I looked around and saw it everywhere. My father's grave was covered in it. I walked up to it and smeared a bit off from the name.
"Bostwick" was all I could make out.
"I want people to see your last name. You're the last with it. I am not a bostwick. You're all evil." Drunks and rude people at family reunions was all I knew about his side of the family. They also teased me for being a loser like he did. Out of the two sons he was the only one with a kid, me. But I don't plan on keeping the name.
"You don't deserve my tears.." I tried to stop them with my sleeves. It didn't work.
"And the song, I don't miss you. I never miss you. I just miss having a father I never had. A real father who cared and should have taken care of us." I sighed why was I wasting my Monday on him. I got up from my spot and walked over to a giant orange tree that was a few rows away. My jeans were already a mess, might as well lay down and against the tree for shade. I was finally gonna get some sleep.
"Goodnight guys." I told the tombstones around the tree. I looked down at the scenery, I could see the building we held his service in yesterday, the freeway down my the side, and cars passing by. There was one I recognized, but it wasn't him. There was a guy with hair to his ears driving the car. It wasn't him, of course it wasn't, he's gone. Just like dad is.