The Boy Who Could Fly

"Uhm he-hello? What brings you here?" Miss Quinn opened the door and led me inside.
"So, what happen? I'm sorry but you scared the both of us when you never came back." I didn't know Justin cared that much. Good to know.
"Well I was sort of out of town." I shrugged.
" I may not be your mother but you had us all worried sick. Oh does your mom know you came back?"
"Yes," I lied. This was the first place I thought of for Dave to bring me to.
"But uhm. I heard of what happen to well, you know... I'm sorry for your loss." I couldn't say his name or that he died. It caught in my throat and was stuck. I looked around the room, it still looked the same. It still had that one single photo of Kellin as a child on one of the bookshelves.
"Oh yes, victor, very tragic ." She sighed.
"I was wondering if you could tell me where Kellin is?" I blurted out. I had to see him one last time. Might as well make that happen soon. If I don't it would kill me.
"Oh yes uhm the cemetery. Oh let me get you the address." She got up from the couch and walked away to the kitchen. As I waited, I saw Justin come in.
"Hey."
"What are you doing here?" He snapped.
"Well, I had to come back home Justin, and I-"
"You abandoned him." He didn't look me in the eye, but I could tell he was mad.
"No it wasn't like that, I care about him so much still I just want to see him." I pleaded. I was wrong, Justin didn't miss me, he hates my guts.
"How dare you come to our house and act like you care!"
"That's enough Justin." His mother snapped from the hallway. She walked up to him and stared him down.
"I'll be in my room." He stormed off and slammed the door behind him.
"I should go."
"No wait. Look here, that's where he's at. Good luck." She gave me a paper folded in half, it had the address scribbled on it in pen.
"Thank you." I gave her a half hearted smile and she returned the same gesture as I walked out her house closing the door behind me.

"This is it." David said as he turned the car off.
"You ready?"
"Yeah." I slowly opened the door and got out.
"I'll be waiting if you need me" I gave him a low wave and walked into the cemetery. There was a building to the left of the main road. This road must be for all the cars I guess. I walked inside the building and saw a few closed rooms. They must be having a service here.
"May I help you sir?" An old guy, probably to old to work here, said as he got up from a desk.
"Uhm yes I'm looking for someone."
"Dead I presume?" I could see a smirk growing on his face.
"Correct."
"Sit boy. Last name?" He lead me to his desk and got to his computer ready to look up the name.
"Quinn." He typed it in.
"Not in our records. Are you sure he's here?" I thought about it. This was the address his mother gave me.
"Bostwick. Try that one." It popped up in my head. That was his real last name. He just never used it and preferred his middle name I guess.
"Ah, now here we have one. Recent so it should be easy to find. I'll give you a map.. Here you go, just follow the statues." He told me. He gave me a paper with the cemetery on it, a few red arrows pointing where I should turn and which way to go.
"It's up hill, have fun." He joked as we walked to the door. He closed it behind me and I made my way down the road to the left corner end of the cemetery.
"Shoulda had Dave drive me," I thought to myself. The walk was long as fuck.

"Okay, third one from the statue, two away from the angel?" I looked up and read the names on the graves. They were all so dirty. It had been raining last night and I guess everything had mud. I couldn't tell what they said. I counted the stones and saw the one I was looking for. Mud piled up all over it. Even the flowers were ruined. I took a deep breathe and sighed. This was it, Kellin Quinn Bostwick's death bed, his grave, the place his body would lay until it turns into nothing.
"Uhm hey Kellin... It's me, Vic. You probably think I'm stupid for this, I know. I'm sorry for leaving like this. I feel so stupid for abandoning everything like a little bitch and running away. I should have gone to save you, try to find you, do anything to get you back. I should've, but I didn't.. I was scared. I couldn't function like that, shit, I still can't I'm so fucked up. I was homeless for a week babe it was horrible and there was this bum-" I stopped myself. I closed my eyes and sat down crossed legged, leaning back on his tombstone. The sun was setting and hitting our sides. It made me feel like two different people.
The left side felt warm from the sunlight. Like I had hope and could move on. I could finish school, make mends with kids I hurt in school, and connect with my family again. I could carry on living for the both of us, me and Kellin.
But the right side felt cold in the shade. Made me feel like all I could do was hurt people and ruin everything like always. I may have a cool kid act in school, but I'm still the loser. The underdog, the one who will never amount to anything but misery and disappointment. The one who ran away when his boyfriend was kidnapped.
"I'm a coward Kellin." I cried, the years were streaming down my cheeks and falling to the ground under me.
"I'm so sorry Kellin. I'm so sorry I hurt you. Ever since the day I saw you in class I hurt you. I thought you were just some loser. Boy, was I wrong." I looked up to the sky and stared at the clouds.
"Do you remember when we would be at your place? just you and me in your room. i liked that alot." i ended it woth a chuckle.
"we never did much, but being with you always made my day better. but now, i don't know.
Do you remember that day at Hay's when I was on her room? I told her I had a crush on you, yeah, she thought it was cute. But I was scared, your my first everything with a boy Kel. And I'm sorry I had to be your first.. Especially that I was your only. You deserve so much more, so sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for playing with your feelings, trying to fuck at the Halloween party, being a bad boyfriend. You didn't say I was. But I know I am. That's why no one loves me. This is why Cara left me for Ronnie, I'm a coward..
But I don't care about her. I just want you Kells. I want you back." I broke down with that last part. I wanted him back so badly. Just for a few hours, even minutes will do!
"I just wanna let you know I-I love you Kelly, I always will." I sobbed. I couldn't control my tears.
For the last two weeks or so with David I had completely shut down. I couldn't eat, sleep, I was becoming alcoholic, I had my hair falling out. I would have nightmares, I passed out in the shower, I even punched him for not getting me a glass of water. I called him so much crap. When his parents saw me one day they wondered if I was a crack addict. I told them I tried it, but it didn't help. The day before, like around the 16th of this month, I had gone out for the day. I found a crack house and got them to let me join a smoke session with them. After an hour I had ran out the door, and drive back to his place terrified I had done that. He didn't find out until I told his parents though.. Oops.
That's why I was here. He knew I couldn't take it more. So he decided to get me to come back to San Diego. If I were to stay, that would be up to me.
But today the first thing I had to do was visit Kellin's grave. He was important now. Nothing else. If I keep living like this, I won't be alive to see if it gets better.
"Do you miss me?" I heard a faint voice say, almost like the wind was speaking to me. This is my imagination. It must be playing tricks on me, toying with me.
"Of course I do. I always will my darling." I closed my eyes and let my head hang.
"I miss you so much." I let my head hit the stone as I moved around to feel more comfy, letting my legs stretch out from under me.
"I'm miserable with out you Kellin. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I sit around all day obsessing about you. I make it worse by drinking so late at night now. I scream at the moon and stars when I get drunk every night. They remind me of you so much. Now there's nothing for me nothing to do. That's all I do at night. I scream at the moon. During the day when David is gone and his parents are too I sing all the time. I lost my voice last week at it! I teared the place apart." I let out a laugh at the thought.
"It's almost like, like I was looking for you. But you were never there. You never are. Oh God... Kellin I'm so sorry I ruined your life! I fucked up and now I lost the thing I love the most. It brings me so much pain to see you this way. I'm so sorry for ever talking to you please I take it all back just to see you alive again! I'd rather have you hate me than live another day without you. Cuz at least I could see your perfect face everyday. I just want to see you again Kellin. I love you!"

"Really?" Fuck, I'm going mad now.
"Yes, I would kill myself just to be with you again. I am so sorry for not telling you how much I love you. I love you Kellin Quinn. I love you so much. I would break every bone in my body for you. I'd do anything to hold your hand one more time.." I curled my legs up to lay my forehead on my knees. I held my legs close to me tightly. This must be how it feels to want to die.. I can't be with our him. How I could live with out him? We only knew each other for like a month or two, yet he is everything to me! I'm obsessed, this isn't healthy.
"I don't want the world to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." I silently sang to the grave." The song I made Kellin sing for me that day in my car. I just wish I would have been real with him then.
"I just want to see your face one last time." I breathed out shakily.
"Victor, look up." There was his voice again. I slowly lifted my head.
"Ke-Keh KELLIN!" I shouted. I moved the hair from my face and looked up at the figure. It must be his ghost or something.
"Vic, I-I didn't know you love me so much."
"I do Kellin I love you from heaven to hell fuck I love you do much I can't let you go." I stoop up and took his face, smashing lips to lips. It felt so good to feel him again. I wrapped an arm around his neck, the other took his waist.
"I love you." I muttered against his face. At first he didn't respond, but now he starts to kiss back.
"Vic I-I'm not dead." He spoke back to me.
"What?" I pulled away and took his features in. Waiting for a reason, is this a joke?
"That's not mine Vic, it's my dad's. and I did die, but the doctors brought me back to life. Vic, I'm okay!" He hugged me an squeezed me back. My mind was racing so fast. Then everything stopped. My heartbeat, my thoughts, it felt like time stopped everything around us. It's only me and Kellin now. My Kellin."
"Como the extrano mi amor." I spoke to his neck. He fit perfectly in my hold, neck to neck we were perfect. Two parts of a broken heart put back together and beautiful once again.