The Boy Who Could Fly

"Fuck I need you." I told myself as I looked for the black box in my closet. I hadn't even finished unpacking but I had thrown it in there like a dumb ass.
"Aha!" I finally found it. My little box, filled with all sorts of junk I could use on myself. I scanned the items inside.
Razor blades, broken piece of glass, and my first blade. It rusted now since it was cheep and almost three years old now. But I always kept it as a reminder.
This is who I am. And nothing's gonna change that. Never.
I couldn't risk my mother finding new ones on my arm. So recently I had been tearing skin from my legs. I began to lower my jeans and pressed one of the bloody razors on my thigh. I only used it a couple of times and it was still sharp and stung like a bitch. But I craved that, the sting of cold metal, slicing across and leaving red trails down my skin.
After about four or so I finally washed up in the bathroom attached to my room and changed into something more comfortable. I plopped down on my bed. I took out my notebook and began doodling and writing random lyrics.

"These promises that you can't keep
They're getting harder to hold on
You said it, you said it now
Don't you ever let me fall
Don't give up because you're losing.."

I began to write down more until I finished and the song felt perfect. I don't know why but it just seemed perfect, at least to me..Right when I was about to put it away I heard a knock on the door. I ran down the short hallway and saw that it was Tony through a small peephole on the door.
"Sup Kellin you ready?" He asked as he walked in.
"Uhm sure let me get my shoes." I went back and grabbed my red toms and walked out the door after calling out I was leaving. My mother looked happy to see I made a new friend, even if he did look scary.
"So Tony who else is coming?"
"Everyone."
"Oh. Okay." He drove us away down a few blocks and pulled over to a house that looked like mine but a two story. Except that this one had some cholo looking guys parked out in front of the yard drinking out of tequila bottles. Some sitting on lawn chairs and others on the porch.
"Chill they're family it's cool." I guess it was that obvious I was scared by them. He took me inside and I was amazed. It was the most Mexican looking place I've ever seen.
"It's embarrassing I know." He shook his head and led me upstairs to his room. It was insane.
"You like Star Wars?"
"I love it." He showed me his arm and I saw he had gotten princess Leiah. He pulled out his phone and began texting so I just kept looking around. He had Star Wars, TMNT, and other movies and some bands covering his walls. In the corner he had a turtle so I began to pet it.
"Oh yeah that's Chewie! Wonder how he's still alive?" I was about to ask him why he called it Chewie until the turtle bit me. Guess that's why..
"Chewie!" He came over me and finally got his turtle to let me go.
"Sorry Kellin. He usually never bites anyone else other than me. You okay?" It didn't look bad so I just nodded my head.
"Well the others are gonna be here any minute. Do you skate?"
"No."
"Bike or anything?"
"No."
"You don't do much huh?"
"Nope.." I started to feel so stupid and useless. All I do is be a stupid bitch and cry about my life..
"It's alright bro I can show you." He patted my back and led me outside to the yard again.
"Hey cuz your vato Mikey coming over?" One of the bigger guys walked up to us.
"Nah not this time Julio." Tony guessed I was wondering and explained to me..
"Mike always comes over and gets high with us. He's the life of the party. He gets high and I get drunk, together were just too much for everyone. That's why the dude is my best friend." He sighed and we got into the car.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Uhm sure Tony?"
"I know you're straight up homo so I was wondering. How do you know when you're, you know?"
"What! How do you know?"
"Dude I can tell straight up you are."
"Oh.. Well uhm I guess I've always known. I've always been attracted to guys. I've never been with anyone before So uhm I guess it depends on how you see the person?"
"Okaay? What if I was really close to that person. Like it felt like we were more than friends. You see him and want to be there for him, and not just like friends. Since you started high school you two just really clicked and got along so well."
"You like them I guess."
"You're right. I do like Fuentes. OH SHIT YOU WERE NOT MEANT TO HEAR THAT!"
"Oh my god dude you Like Vic?!" I couldn't believe he liked Vic! Vic can't like him back no way just no! Vic is straight.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS MIKEY. I LIKE MIKEY!" Oops.
"Oh sorry, I guess it was Vic you meant."
"Nah dude you can keep him."
"What!"
"Dude I know you think he's cute and all. If you didn't know I'm quite observant and besides. I can tell when you look at him."
"It's that obvious huh?"
"Yeah. Lets keep this a secret between us.."
"Deal." Tony drove up to a huge park and took us over to where the others were with boards and all their bikes.
"Hey Tone!" Mike beamed out. I felt Tony give me a pat on the back.
"Not a word got that?" He nodded me to where Vic was sitting on the floor.
"Got it." I just waved at them and made my way over trying to ignore the fact Vic was staring at me the whole time. This fucker just really wants to mess with my feelings. When I finally sat on one the benches there he made his way over and put an arm over my shoulder.
"You were amazing in class today."
"No I wasn't."
"Yeah you were, after you left everyone was surprised you were so great. If you can leave the teacher speechless like that. You're better than good"
"No I'm not."
"Yeah you are." He scooted closer and gave me a pat on the chest.
"What are you doing Vic?"
"Nothing, can't I just sit here, talk, and enjoy the moment?"
"Uhm..."
"It's not like you're not enjoying this." He whispered as he scooted closer so that our knees were touching.
"Leave me alone." I got up and walked over to a vending machine to get a monster. I saw the look on his face and damn it was priceless. he just shrugged and crossed his arms. Cute..
As I bent over to reach for the can I heard someone yell as they close to me.
"Watch out!" Too late.
"Oh shit I'm so sorry bro let me help you up!" He had crashed into me and landed on me with his bike. He was a little heavy set and definitely crushed me.
"Kellin!" I heard Hayley and her friend with some of the guys make their way over to me to help me up as the stranger took his bike off of me. Vic of course just Sat there and watched without a care. He was, laughing? Fucker.
"Holy Shit you okay?"
"Uhm I think so thanks Hayley."
"Tino what the fuck man!"
"Shut up Austin! Oh dude I'm sorry, the names Valentino."
"Kellin, it's okay I'm use to it."
"You always get hit by bikes?"
"Sorta." I have before.. But on purpose by a group of guys back in Michigan.
"Sorry here lemme help you." Like nothing he carried me up an placed me on the same bench I had been sitting on earlier.
"Sorry Tino can be a fucking idiot sometimes. I'm Austin."
"Kellin. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to see you like Slipknot." I looked down and almost forgot I had changed shirts before I came.
"Kinda.."
"Nice. Well Imma go back to my girl now. HAYLEY!" He turned and ran back to her. He held her close as they went back into their conversation they had before I fucking hit myself with Tino's bike. Thanks to me it's probably messed up.
"Hey man you alright?" Vic walked over sitting next to me like before.
"What do you think?" I snapped.
"Aww don't be sad Kells."
"Don't call me that."
"Poor baby Kells is sad. Does your little booty hurt?"
"Stop that.. And don't talk about my ass."
"Why not? It's cute.. Just like you Kells."
"I'm not playing Vic stop it now."
"I thought you like me?"
"No. I don't fucking like you." I go up and walked away from him limping.
"Come on Kellin I was just kidding." He stopped me from walking away, but ended up getting pulled down when I lost my balance and landed under him on the grass.
"Oh Kellin you're making me blush."
"Vic has anyone told you how much of a flaming homo you are?"
"We'll not the girls no."
"How about how amazing your eyes look?" He cocked an eyebrow and looked into my eyes. I wanted to see how far he would keep this up.
"Kellin, your blushing again."
"I can't help it. You're too perfect."
"I'm not gay Kells."
"Oh really? Then why are you still on top of me." His face turned red as he rolled off of me.
"Besides Vic.. you're not my type." I looked at him one more time before getting up to sit under a tree. He didn't say anything. He just stared at me. As I sat down I saw him finally get up an make his way over to the rest of the guys looking pissed off. He gave me one last look before leaving them and getting into his car. He mouthed something but I couldn't tell what. But with that face he made I knew it wasn't a good thing.
Oh shit why did I have to fuck this up.
He's gonna kill me now, I already know it.
"Hey Kellin you wanna ride home?"
"Sure Hayley." I got up and followed her with Austin into his car to take me home..

That night was horrible. I just couldn't get his face out of my thoughts! Vic was so close to me. His breathe tickled my skin when he was on top of me at the park. He smelled great. His eyes were so brown and perfect, I could just stare at him for hours. The way his hair falls perfectly, his thin legs, that ass.
"Fuck me." I cursed myself for even thinking that. I shouldn't be doing this to myself. I'm gonna end up hurt. How could anyone like me back? He would never like me. I'm so hideous, a loser, emo, fag, pathetic. Everyone knew it. And I know he did too.

Vic's P.O.V.
"Vic come on please?"
"Nah I'm good. You know the way out." She didn't move from the bed.
"I said get out Jenna!" She got up and slammed the doors on her way out. Whatever I don't care about her. I don't want her right now. I don't want anyone of them. I could have any girl at school, or even in all of San Diego! But I didn't want any of them anymore. I knew why.
"You're not fag Vic." I whispered to myself. I have to forget about him.
"Kellin Quinn." The name of the boy I was starting to fall for too fast. I can't do this. Never. I took off my jeans and covered myself up under the covers. I can't do this. It's wrong.