Safe & Sound

Nicole:

I flew with Tyler to Edmonton so I could talk to Adam. I was definitely nervous. I didn't know what I was going to say. 'Hey, I had a miscarriage, but you don't have to worry it wasn't your kid.' No, of course not. I would never say it like that, but Tyler did say Adam had some doubt about the baby being his, so maybe it won't be as hard.

I went to the morning skate with Tyler and at in the stands watching the team practice. Adam saw me right away and looked confused. I gave him a wave and he went back to practice. Thinking of what to say brought up mixed emotions about loosing the baby. As practice continued I used the time to call and tell my mom and some of my friends. It wasn't easy, but I couldn't let them go on thinking I was still pregnant. Once practice was over I walked around to the Bruins locker room and waited outside for Adam. The tears were still fresh in my eyes and on my cheeks when some of the guys came out. "Nicole? Is everything okay, do you need Adam?" Milan Lucic came over concerned. "Yeah, I'm, I'm fine. Really." I quickly wiped the tears and gave him a faint smile. "You sure?" "Yeah, Adam's right there. I'm fine, thank you though." He gave me a smile and left with some of the guys. When Adam saw me he quickly rushed over. "Hey, is everything okay? I was worried when I saw you out there." He gave me a kiss and put his hand on my stomach. I looked past him and saw Tyler leaning against a wall. I sighed and he shook his head in reassurance as he walked back into the locker room.

"Um, not exactly." I grabbed Adam's hand off of my stomach and led him around the corner as I saw the media walking out of the locker room in our direction. He looked scared and I still was unsure of how to tell him. "What is it Nicole?" He looked down at me and the tears began to fall. "You already know, I mean you had a pretty good idea the baby wasn't yours, right?" "Well, I mean, Nicole it didn't seem likely to be mine, because-" "Because nothing. Do you think the baby was yours?" "No. And what is this was? Nicole, don't tell me you did what I'm thinking." "God no! I would never! And your right, the baby wasn't yours. It was Tyler's, but please don't hate me for lying to you or anything, I just, I was confused and I didn't know what to do, so I said it was yours." He wiped my tears then held my hands. "Nicole, I would never hate you. I get it. You were with me and you didn't think you would see Tyler for a while and you wanted to raise the baby with someone, that's why you said it was mine. But trust me, I noticed you started showing signs that normally you wouldn't show right away in a pregnancy." "I didn't think that far ahead, but I just wanted to have someone to help me through it." "Well, I would have been there even if you told me it was Tyler's, I would have helped no matter what the scenario, I wouldn't leave you because of that. Do you think I'm that kind of guy?"

"No! I don't, but I was just scared Adam." "Nicole, I get it okay. You don't have to be scared anymore. I will help you through everything. Does Tyler know? I mean that the baby is his?" "Yeah, but you don't have to worry about helping anymore. Neither does Tyler, nobody does now." I sat on the floor and buried my face in my hands. Adam sat in front of me and pulled my hands away. "Nicole, what happened?" "Tyler came home to check on me since you said you hadn't talked to me in days and, he found me in my apartment, and he had to take me to the hospital." "The hospital?" He looked down at me and he now had tears in his eyes. "The baby is gone." "What? How?" Adam stood up and started pacing back in forth. "I had a miscarriage." "How?" I stood up and tried to calm him down. "Adam it just happened. There wasn't really anyway to prevent it." "Maybe if I stayed home instead of going on the road trip, I could have gotten you to the hospital faster and saved the baby." "Adam!" I put my hands on his shoulders to get him to stop and he looked at me. "There is nothing you could have done. The baby wasn't even yours, it's Tyler's. He is the one who should be freaking out like this."

"Just because the kid wasn't mine, doesn't mean I can't be upset Nicole." He looked down at me and now seemed angry at me, not upset. "I never said you couldn't, it's just you seem to me like your overreacting a bit." "Yeah, because everyone in my family thinks I was going to be having a son, but now I have to tell them the baby is gone! My family will be affected by this too Nicole, it seems like you've forgotten that. Sorry for you loss, must be really hard for you two." Adam pushed past me and left the rink. The one thing I didn't want to happen, just did. I'm pretty sure Adam hates me, and I feel terrible that his family has to go through this too, but I didn't plan on loosing the baby, that was the last thing on my mind. I walked back toward the locker room and sat outside waiting for Tyler to come out. I looked up as the door opened and Tyler came over. "Nicole, what happened?" He wiped a few tears from my cheek and held my hands as I stood up. "I just wanna go to the hotel Tyler." "Sure, I'll take you right now." He put his arm around me as we walked out to the car. I really didn't want to hurt Adam like I did, but he needed to know one way or another, but maybe it wasn't meant to be with him after all.