Taking a Chance

Two hours later and between you, you have consumed two bottles of wine and are now sitting outside at the garden table, smoking and drinking vodka. You had celebrated quietly when Jeremy handed you his clean plate and you promise to share the recipe, which he's quite content with.

It's a nice night, far too nice to be sitting inside and it's cool.

"Your boyfriend will be jealous when he finds out you cooked for me"
Jeremy says, sipping on his vodka.

Something tugs in your stomach. Where did he get the idea that you have a boyfriend.

"I don't have a boyfriend" You reply, reaching over to grab his lighter."Who said I had a boyfriend?"

You are both quite tipsy, not legless drunk or even on the verge of drunk, but you's have talked non-stop since the vodka was opened.

"You said you were having guy problems and I assumed it was with a boyfriend"

"Nothing like that" You reply.

"Then what was it?" He asks and stubs out his cigarette on the saucer. You don't normally smoke, so there's no reason for you to have an ashtray.

"It's complicated" You say simply.

You are hardly going to tell him you are thinking about and have been since you met him at the charity event.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He takes a drink and you can't help but feel a little guilty.

Suddenly he starts laughing. God, you love it when laughs.

"What's so funny?" You ask.

"If my mom could see us now" You don't quite get it and tell him to explain. "When we were kids, teenagers my mom used to go on at me to ask you out"

"Why didn't you?"

Shit. It's out before you even realised it and now you have to hear whatever he has to say. Jeremy shifts uncomfortably and takes a long swallow, a little liquid courage.

"Cause I didn't want to ruin things." He replies quietly."And I didn't think you would be interested"

You nod your head because you agree. A lot of the friend to boyfriend and girlfriend relationships just didn't work out. You had seen that first hand so many times you had lost count and you figured it just wasn't worth it in the end. Then it hits you what he's just said. Is he saying he would have asked you if you hadn't been friends? You don't know what to say.

"Sorry" he mumbles. "This is why I don't normally drink this much. Maybe I should go"

You realise he's going to leave. He's embarrassed by what he's said.

"You don't need to go" You say quickly."I shouldn't have asked"

"You have a right to know" he shrugs."Every time my ass got kicked to the kerb I always looked back and asked why."

That tingle in your stomach is spreading.

"That's why I came to L.A. I figured maybe I would find what I've been looking for."

"You must get lonely travelling all the time" You say gently.

"More than a lot of people realise." He lights up another cigarette, his second in ten minutes.

"What have you been looking for?" You ask. Again, you realise your big mouth is asking the wrong kind of questions.

He's gone quiet and exhales a stream of smoke.

"Honestly?" He asks and you nod."It sounds stupid, but I guess I've just been looking for someone to love me"

"People do love you, Jeremy. You've had long term relationships and-"

"Those girls didn't love me" he says quietly and he sounds ashamed."Not one of them. They just wanted some sugar daddy to pay for their clothes and give them sex whenever they wanted it"

You can hear the bitterness and resentment in his voice.

"I better go" he says, getting up. You follow him into the hallway where he is pulling on his coat.

"You are a good guy and the right girl will find you" You say softly.

You are both a little drunk.

"I think I already missed her" he says and he kisses you on the cheek,which catches you on the corner of your mouth. His lips are surprisingly soft. "Thanks for dinner"