Taking a Chance

The thought of your relationship prematurely ending with Jeremy before it even had the chance to begin,naturally upset you. For the first time in eight years you didn't feel that stomach churning hate towards a man and didn't want to vomit when he touched you. You figure it's because you grew up with Jeremy and he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, especially now that he knows how weak you are and how vulnerable you have become since childhood.

Maybe things will work out with Jeremy and maybe they won't. You have no idea how long his patience will last until he wants to sleep with you and that thought terrifies you, greatly.

A strangled sob escapes your lips as you hug your pillow, burying your face into the cool material. You inhale deeply and feel fresh tears running down your cheeks, wiping them away quickly with your hand. Sometimes you have nights like this, crying after waking from a nightmare and sometimes you don't have any for months. In a strange way you have gotten used to nights of broken sleep and unwelcome memories.

Three lights taps on your bedroom door brings you back to where you are and quickly you try to compose yourself. The door opens slowly, dragging over the carpet. You don't know whether to acknowledge the new presence in your room or pretend you are asleep.

"Susie?" Jeremy's voice is soft, a whisper.

You feel his hand touch your shoulder as he sits down on the edge of your bed, the mattress dipping under his weight.

"Susie, are you okay?" He asks, still whispering.

You can't possibly ignore him when he's so concerned.

"I'm fine" You mumble, fighting back the tears that are threatening to consume you.

"Tell me what's wrong, mama" His voice is soothing and you feel his hand brushing your hair away from your face.

"It's nothing. I'm fine" You reply.

His touch is so warm and affectionate.

"You're not fine. Come on, tell me what's upset you"

You realise you aren't going to persuade him otherwise. Sitting up, you snap on the lamp. It takes a few minutes for your eyes to adjust to the sudden burst of brightness.

"I had a nightmare" You say simply.

Maybe it's because Jeremy is comforting you or maybe it's the sudden light in the darkness, but you feel better.

"Can I ask what about?" He is still speaking so softly and still looks half asleep.

"About...about what happened. Sometimes I have them and sometimes I don't" You say."I'm on medication to help stop them, but one slips through the net"

Jeremy nods, understanding.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asks.

"Go back to sleep" You say"I never sleep after a nightmare. You look tired"

"I'll live." He smiles softly."How about you?Are you going to try and get some sleep?"

"I really wish I could" You groan.
Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a long day considering you aren't going to sleep the rest of the night."Go on, get some sleep"

"I can stay if you want me to" He says softly."No funny business, I swear"

He holds his hands up and surrender. Being honest with yourself, you don't want to be alone.
"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I'm your boyfriend, remember?" He chuckles softly.

You try your best to hide the blush that has crept onto your cheeks.

"Are you blushing?" He laughs, tilting his head to see your almost tomato red face."Why are you blushing?"

"I'm just a little warm" You say. He doesn't believe it.

Jeremy settles himself down on his side, his arm outstretched so you can lay your head on his bicep. You face him and feels his lips kissing your forehead. He wraps his other arm tightly around you and suddenly you feel safe, protected. You can faintly smell his cologne and shampoo, can feel his heart beating against you. You pull the duvet over his shoulder and you are sure he's smiling.

"Good night, mama"

***

Waking up in Jeremy's strong muscular arms sends a rippling feeling through your stomach. You watch him as he sleeps, looking so content and peaceful. During what was left of the night he had checked on you every time you moved and pulled you closer. You had never felt so safe before and it worries you that you are falling for him too quickly.

His eyes flutter open, lazily. His eyes are so bright, so vibrant you can feel yourself drowning in them.

"Good morning, beautiful" he says, looking down at you.

"Good morning" You reply, kissing him so softly he can barely feel it.

He cups your cheek as his lips move over yours, the tip of his tongue running over your bottom lip.

"Is there a flashlight under there?"
You giggle, feeling something sticking into your thigh.

"I..uh.."He stutters.

"Don't worry" You kiss his nose and get up from your side of the bed."I'll go make us some breakfast while you take care of it"