Taking a Chance

You are quiet, silently pushing your food around your plate as Jeremy looks at you from across the table.

"You okay,mama?" He asks softly.

You sigh and set down your fork,
rubbing your temple with the tips of you fingers.

"Just a little under the weather" You feel kind of guilty for ruining a pleasant atmosphere. You feel guilty for spoiling the meal Jeremy had prepared and cooked.

"Want me to save it?" He motions towards your plate and you shake your head.

You watch him as he grabs your plates and takes them over to the sink. Suddenly you have a headache, one that's growing behind your eyes and temples, travelling to the base of your skull.

"When do you begin prep for this new movie?" You ask.

"Not for another couple of months. I'm completely free until the craziness starts." He rubs the back of his neck.

Jeremy had told you straight that he would probably be gone for the better part of four months, physically and mentally preparing to start rehearsing and then filming. You know he feels bad about leaving you while he jets off to film.

"I think I'm going to go to bed and have an early night" You say, getting up.

Jeremy stands in front you, his hands on your upper arms. His touch is so comforting over the dull ache that's trapped inside your head.

"Do you want me to go out and get you something?" His voice is soft and caring.

"I'm just going to go to bed." You say and he nods.

Jeremy leans in to kiss you and you move your head to the side. He just looks at you, a little hurt. You walk by him and go into the bedroom, undressing and climbing into bed. A few minutes later he knocks lightly on the door and sets down a glass of water on the night stand.

"I'm going to take a shower. Will you be okay by yourself?" His voice is soft, gentle and soothing.

"Actually...I was going to ask if it was okay if you could just go back to the hotel"

Even in the dimly lit room you could see his face, but he couldn't see yours. It feels as if a knife is twisting in your gut at the hurt in his eyes, the crushed expression he wears.

"I...uh..I..um..sure"

Slowly, Jeremy retreats and hesitantly looks up at you before closing the bedroom door, biting his bottom lip. You can hear him gathering his keys and coat, the gentle thud of the front door closing and the metal clicks of the locks.
A sob breaks the silence as the engine of Jeremy's car disappears down the street.