Taking a Chance

You roll over onto your side and giggle at the sight of Jeremy lying next to you. He hasn't moved an inch since falling asleep. You move your head onto his chest and listen purposefully for the rhythm of his heart, satisfied that he isn't dead, you get up and make a pot of coffee.
You decide not to bring up the whole falling asleep thing and contemplate waking Jeremy so he can eat breakfast. You doubt he actually ate on the flight or before it, knowing that flying makes him anxious.

As you turn from the fridge you quite literally jump out of your skin.

"Jesus, you scared me"

"Sorry" He says with a lazy smile.

"It's okay" You laugh"I wasn't expecting you to be awake. Do you want some eggs?"

"I'm not really that hungry."

"You need to eat something because I know you didn't eat before your flight" You point out.

"Okay, a slice of toast"

You pop a slice of bread into the toaster and start cracking eggs into a bowl. The sensation of him watching you from behind makes you turn to Jeremy.

"Are you okay?"

"Just exhausted" he sighs."And I'm sorry"

"Sorry for what?" You go to him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"For falling asleep on you last night." He whispers, looking down at the floor."I'll make it up to you"

"And when do you plan on doing that?" You ask, giggling as you run your finger over his collar bone.

"Right now"

"Are you sure you're not going to fall asleep on me again?" You tease, brushing your lips against his.

"Don't think so" He grins, his lips close to yours.

"I'm so glad you're home" You kiss him and smile.

"Me too, mama. Me too"

******

Your concern has been growing in the back of your mind like a abscess since Jeremy got home. It didn't matter how much sleep he had, he was always so exhausted and slept for most of the day as well as at night. Every day he looks a little worse and you rationalise that being away for seven months, doing god knows what must play havoc with the body and mind. He's been home three weeks and it's like he's never been away.

You serve up some mashed potato and place two thick slices of meatloaf on each plate. Your own recipe. As you eat, you notice that Jeremy is just pushing his food around his plate. It seems that since returning from Chicago, his appetite has seriously decreased and it's starting to worry you. It takes everything for him to just eat a few mouthfuls.

"Is it okay?" You ask, nodding down to his untouched food.

"It's good" he replies.

"You haven't tried it" You point out.

Jeremy sets down his fork and sighs.

"Sorry. I'm just not hungry"

"All you've had is a slice of toast. Maybe you should see a doctor or something. I mean, you're sleeping all the time and you're just no your usual self". You say and watch him as he rubs his eyes.

"It's just exhaustion, mama. I'm always like this when I come back from a shoot. Don't worry"

You nod and continue eating. He's right and you know you are probably worrying over nothing. You trust him and suggest that he goes and picks a movie.

Jeremy had fallen asleep on the sofa by the time you had rinsed the dishes and cleared them away into the dish washer. You simply didn't have the heart to wake him and threw a blanket over his shoulders, tucking it under his chin before kissing him goodnight. You go to bed alone and you miss not feeling his body against yours.