Taking a Chance

"He's just back from a damn shoot and they want him to do another movie." You say angrily to the only person you can vent your anger at, Michelle."He's still recovering from it. I've never seen anyone so drained"

"Have you talked to Jeremy about it?"

You look at her as if she is crazy.

Jeremy would understand your worry and concern, but he always made you feel as if you were worrying about nothing. Despite being so exhausted, he tried to make up for all the time he had been away and had fallen asleep during sex on more than one occasion.

"Of course not. He already thinks I'm worrying over nothing"

"By the sounds of it you are" She says."Listen, Jeremy will know his limits when it comes to his career and you did know it was going to be like this"

She's right. You did know and now you don't want to know.

"I just feel he's pushing himself too hard. I just didn't realise being with him would be this tough."

"When was the last time you had sex, Susie?" She asks in a serious stone.

"Don't start this again" You reply as you log out of your emails.

"How long?"

"Two weeks" You say quietly.

Sometimes you literally had to fend Jeremy off several times a day and now your love life had plummeted to non-existent.

"There's your answer" Michelle says.

"I've tried. Every time I try to he's either asleep, falls asleep on me or isn't in the mood. What am I supposed to do?" You groan in defeat and you wish things were how they were before he left to shoot that movie."Maybe he's having an affair or something"

It sounds ridiculous and you can tell by the expression on Michelle's face that even she is shocked that would even think it was a possibility. You admit, it is a completely irrational thought.

"You know he wouldn't do that."

"I know" You say with a sigh."I'm just overreacting"

"More like pulling stupid ideas out of thin air." Michelle agrees with you.

You are being stupid and you feel guilty for even thinking it.

"Have you seen the advertisement clip for the new movie?"

You shake your head and Michelle beckons you over to her work station. Being the celebrity follower that she is, she logs onto a website and clicks on the title of the new movie.

Watching Jeremy kiss another woman passionately wasn't something you wanted to see, especially on a celebrity stalking site and you certainly didn't want to see the rumours attached to it. He had looked at his co-actress with the same lust you had seen in his eyes countless times before and it makes your stomach churn and your head spin as you pull into the driveway. What really stung was the fact that at the end of the clip was a thirty second interview with Jeremy. Someone behind the camera asked Jeremy if he was finally settling down like a lot of his co-stars and he brushed off the question. Just like that.

Your blood boils as you stomp into the kitchen. As usual, Jeremy is asleep on the sofa and as much as you want to ask him what is going on, you don't want to know the answer either. What if he were to tell you that the rumours were true? How would you feel with the truth hanging between you. Honestly, you know you probably couldn't forgive him, but if the worst came to the worst, you would at least try.

You make a start on dinner, even though you don't feel hungry. But dicing down an onion in quite a brutal fashion does make you feel slightly better.

"I didn't hear you come in" Jeremy says behind you. His voice is rough and sleepy.

"You were asleep again" Your tone is sharp and even.

"Sorry."

You continue to dice the onions as his arms wrap around you from behind, his cheek pressing against yours.

"What's wrong, mama?"

You wonder if he can feel how tense you are and how you haven't stopped what you are doing to just fall back into him.

"Nothing. It's fine" You say, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

"Susie, tell me what's wrong"

You slam down the knife onto the worktop and break free from his embrace, the tears you've been holding back that threaten to escape.

"I'm just a little upset" You say.

"What's upset you, mama?"

"Why didn't you tell me you had to kiss someone else for this movie?"

You ask, your emotions building.

"I didn't think it would be a big deal. It was work" Jeremy replies, shrugging.

"Did you enjoy it?" You ask, looking at him.

His face is lined with confusion, his eyes looking into yours for some sort of answer.

"You looked as if you enjoyed it" You point out. You are so close to crying and you don't want to.

"It was just a scene for the movie, Susie. I'm supposed to look like I want it"

"You looked at her the same way you look at me." You reply, curtly."Are you having an affair with her?"

"Don't be ridiculous" Jeremy says quickly, losing his temper."Where did you get that from?"

"According to the media, you two are madly in love."

"You're taking the word of some gossip columnist over mine?" Jeremy asks "Susie, these people make stories out of thin air. None of it's true."

"How do I know that?" You snap."How do I know you didn't spend every night in her hotel room?"

"Jesus. Susie, do you really think I would cheat on you? Do you really think I would risk losing you for a second time?" He asks.

"Everyone else is convinced of it"

"They always are" He replies, angrily."I'm not a cheat"

"I don't know that for sure, Jeremy"

He nods and sucks in a breath, his eyes searching yours.

"Do you really think I would hurt you like that?" You don't answer him."What can I say to convince you?"

"I don't think there's anything you can say" You reply."Maybe we need some time apart"

"Is that what you want?" He asks.

He looks as if he's about to cry and you notice how his hand stroking his stomach. Thinking about it, you had seen him do it for the last couple of weeks and figured it was trapped wind. You turn your back to him and squeeze your eyes shut.

"Yes"

Your words fall on deaf ears as a solid thump hits the floor. Turning around, you realise Jeremy is on the floor, passed out.

"Jeremy?" You say, panicked. You try waking him up by slapping his cheek."Jeremy, wake up"

Your hands shake as you dial 9-1-1, your heart thumping away in your chest.

"Oh fuck!"