Status: May be slow for a while; will definitely pick up though! ^-^
You're My Infinity
His Mark
It seemed Ronan really didn’t know when not to ask questions, and at the most awkward of times. Personally, my face was still flushed from being discovered naked in a creek in the attempt to cool myself off –there’s no telling how he managed to find me, and so quick at that, and for a short moment, I had actually been enjoying the silence. It was hard to talk to him most of the time, mainly because he seemed so bound and determined to be heartbroken and stubborn at that! I’m not actually quite sure how much longer it will be before something indiscreet slips my tongue and causes an even bigger problem than the current one.
And for all that I actually wanted to spare him the pain of telling him something awful, something compelled me to as my mind actually argued with me that for all disgruntled words I might say to him, he was stubborn and persistent and never seemed to listen to me anyway, believing in some fashion that I might join his way of thinking. And that was how I came to answer his question then, staring straight forward because I didn’t actually want to face him.
“I’m not sure what time it was, but I was having trouble sleeping and then your mom showed up. I can’t remember exactly what she said to me, but it lingered along the lines that she knew I missed my family I guess, and I ended up just leaving because I needed to see them. You probably don’t understand, but my conscience is guilty, and there are some things I need to say to them before I can just accept what Fate has dealt out to me. They may think their hallucinating, seeing me like this, but at least I’ll know I settled things.
“Before the Midsummer’s Eve Festival, I had been helping my sister with her costume. I complained that she had ruined it when I caught her rubbing green paint along her arms and face, but she got angry with me. She’s only a little girl, after all. She yelled at me, saying that just because everyone looked at me like I was a crazy witch that I shouldn’t bring her into it. She wanted to be like everyone else, and then she ran off, and I never got to see her. My mum was a little disgruntled with me for it, and I had planned on apologizing to her that night, but you interfered and completely sidetracked me. I would have demanded I find her before I lead you around the carnival, had I known I wouldn’t be returning home at all…”
I’m not quite sure how a simple explanation transformed into something of such a long story about my family problems right before I had met Ronan again for the second time, but it was most certainly filled with enough emotion that despite my attempts to hold them back, I still felt the slight prickling of tears in my eyes. It took biting my lips and blinking a couple of times, but I managed to make them disappear just as I felt his warm hand wrap around my own and lull me to a slow stop.
Still I refused to look at him, keeping an indifferent mask of stubbornness about me so that I could hide the emotion –it wasn’t right to have said something like that anyway, and I told him so with an apology as my gaze wandered off among the gargantuan trees which stood like stiff soldiers all around us. My sense of direction by this time was very completely skewed and I was now relying entirely on him to lead us back, since I knew that even if I wanted to keep trying to head home, it wasn’t very likely in the least that he would allow me. “Let’s just go back,” I murmur demurely as I feel his eyes boring into me, and I begin to pull away to start heading in the direction which he had been leading.
His hand tightens around my wrist though, and I mentally prepare myself before he tugs me back to where I had been, and then practically pressed against his chest as his arms wrap around me in what I can only perceive as being a sort of protective manner. I can practically sense his jaw grating even as I can also sense the gentleness coming off him as he embraces me. “My Emilee, I am sorry beyond words. I had not thought of such things happening, nor had I expected my mother to be capable of doing such a thing to you. I am also glad you opened up to me where you haven’t before, even if you insist my love for you is hopeless, and this does give me hope. Emilee, es mea infinitum, and that will never change.”
Even though I softened a bit at the sweet gesture and words, that barest amount of frustration reared its ugly head in a small fashion as once again Ronan began to speak in that odd language I would probably never begin to comprehend. It sounded soft and lilting when he spoke in it, strangely sagacious coming from Taka, and they both seemed to be communicating powerful emotions with it around me even when at the same time I had no idea what any of it meant.
So, attempting to contain some of that frustration, I pull away from him and stare him evenly in the eye. “What does that mean? You keep speaking in this language I don’t understand, and both you and Taka seem to have a thing for my neck, especially when you say it-” here I self-consciously touch the back of my neck, feeling only unmarred skin though Ronan’s eyes seem to take on a different sort of quality that is hard to decipher. “And you get that look, too!” I accuse as he once more stares at me. It seemed in a split second, the mood has once more changed between us, and probably not for the better.
It is then I both hear and see his sigh as he runs a hand through his ebony hair, and for once, he’s the one averting his bright green eyes. I’m not quite sure why I’m starting to notice these physical aspects from him, as well as his every move it seems, but I know ever since I woke up transformed as a Pharisee, it has been gradually getting worse, and it’s really starting to scare me, though I like to think I’ve done quite a good job in hiding it from him.
“It’s Latin; one of the oldest languages known, but also a dead language,” he finally admitted as his slightly sheepish eyes once more returned to me, seeming to focus just where I had previously laid my hand. “Emilee,” he began haltingly, closing his mouth for a split second before shaking his head. “If I tell you this, you must promise me that you will think no less of me for it. I have only done what my heart bids me to, and I have no regrets about it.”
As his beseeching eyes meet mine, I feel my hard shell melting a little, but only the slightest amount, and I give a small, if not curt, bob of my head, motioning for him to continue with his explanation since so far I have only learned the fact that the strange language he’s been speaking is Latin.
“My Emilee…” A sigh escapes past his lips. “Infinity,” he finally just said, and I couldn’t help the cocking of my head as my eyes furrowed in a confused look. He didn’t let me get far in asking what that was supposed to mean. “Your neck…it kind of has a mark on it, my mark actually. You can’t see it because of where it is, but it’s there. Just like I love you, I’ve shown it in that way too –a mark like that means that two Pharisees are bound together. And as for some of the things I say in Latin…’Es mea infinitum’ means ‘you’re my infinity’. And you are, my Emilee, for infinitum.” His hands have grasped mine by this point and he raises my knuckles to his lips as he presses a kiss lightly against them. “As I said –I have no regrets about what I’ve done. I simply wish you come to accept this and love me as well in due time.”
And for all that I actually wanted to spare him the pain of telling him something awful, something compelled me to as my mind actually argued with me that for all disgruntled words I might say to him, he was stubborn and persistent and never seemed to listen to me anyway, believing in some fashion that I might join his way of thinking. And that was how I came to answer his question then, staring straight forward because I didn’t actually want to face him.
“I’m not sure what time it was, but I was having trouble sleeping and then your mom showed up. I can’t remember exactly what she said to me, but it lingered along the lines that she knew I missed my family I guess, and I ended up just leaving because I needed to see them. You probably don’t understand, but my conscience is guilty, and there are some things I need to say to them before I can just accept what Fate has dealt out to me. They may think their hallucinating, seeing me like this, but at least I’ll know I settled things.
“Before the Midsummer’s Eve Festival, I had been helping my sister with her costume. I complained that she had ruined it when I caught her rubbing green paint along her arms and face, but she got angry with me. She’s only a little girl, after all. She yelled at me, saying that just because everyone looked at me like I was a crazy witch that I shouldn’t bring her into it. She wanted to be like everyone else, and then she ran off, and I never got to see her. My mum was a little disgruntled with me for it, and I had planned on apologizing to her that night, but you interfered and completely sidetracked me. I would have demanded I find her before I lead you around the carnival, had I known I wouldn’t be returning home at all…”
I’m not quite sure how a simple explanation transformed into something of such a long story about my family problems right before I had met Ronan again for the second time, but it was most certainly filled with enough emotion that despite my attempts to hold them back, I still felt the slight prickling of tears in my eyes. It took biting my lips and blinking a couple of times, but I managed to make them disappear just as I felt his warm hand wrap around my own and lull me to a slow stop.
Still I refused to look at him, keeping an indifferent mask of stubbornness about me so that I could hide the emotion –it wasn’t right to have said something like that anyway, and I told him so with an apology as my gaze wandered off among the gargantuan trees which stood like stiff soldiers all around us. My sense of direction by this time was very completely skewed and I was now relying entirely on him to lead us back, since I knew that even if I wanted to keep trying to head home, it wasn’t very likely in the least that he would allow me. “Let’s just go back,” I murmur demurely as I feel his eyes boring into me, and I begin to pull away to start heading in the direction which he had been leading.
His hand tightens around my wrist though, and I mentally prepare myself before he tugs me back to where I had been, and then practically pressed against his chest as his arms wrap around me in what I can only perceive as being a sort of protective manner. I can practically sense his jaw grating even as I can also sense the gentleness coming off him as he embraces me. “My Emilee, I am sorry beyond words. I had not thought of such things happening, nor had I expected my mother to be capable of doing such a thing to you. I am also glad you opened up to me where you haven’t before, even if you insist my love for you is hopeless, and this does give me hope. Emilee, es mea infinitum, and that will never change.”
Even though I softened a bit at the sweet gesture and words, that barest amount of frustration reared its ugly head in a small fashion as once again Ronan began to speak in that odd language I would probably never begin to comprehend. It sounded soft and lilting when he spoke in it, strangely sagacious coming from Taka, and they both seemed to be communicating powerful emotions with it around me even when at the same time I had no idea what any of it meant.
So, attempting to contain some of that frustration, I pull away from him and stare him evenly in the eye. “What does that mean? You keep speaking in this language I don’t understand, and both you and Taka seem to have a thing for my neck, especially when you say it-” here I self-consciously touch the back of my neck, feeling only unmarred skin though Ronan’s eyes seem to take on a different sort of quality that is hard to decipher. “And you get that look, too!” I accuse as he once more stares at me. It seemed in a split second, the mood has once more changed between us, and probably not for the better.
It is then I both hear and see his sigh as he runs a hand through his ebony hair, and for once, he’s the one averting his bright green eyes. I’m not quite sure why I’m starting to notice these physical aspects from him, as well as his every move it seems, but I know ever since I woke up transformed as a Pharisee, it has been gradually getting worse, and it’s really starting to scare me, though I like to think I’ve done quite a good job in hiding it from him.
“It’s Latin; one of the oldest languages known, but also a dead language,” he finally admitted as his slightly sheepish eyes once more returned to me, seeming to focus just where I had previously laid my hand. “Emilee,” he began haltingly, closing his mouth for a split second before shaking his head. “If I tell you this, you must promise me that you will think no less of me for it. I have only done what my heart bids me to, and I have no regrets about it.”
As his beseeching eyes meet mine, I feel my hard shell melting a little, but only the slightest amount, and I give a small, if not curt, bob of my head, motioning for him to continue with his explanation since so far I have only learned the fact that the strange language he’s been speaking is Latin.
“My Emilee…” A sigh escapes past his lips. “Infinity,” he finally just said, and I couldn’t help the cocking of my head as my eyes furrowed in a confused look. He didn’t let me get far in asking what that was supposed to mean. “Your neck…it kind of has a mark on it, my mark actually. You can’t see it because of where it is, but it’s there. Just like I love you, I’ve shown it in that way too –a mark like that means that two Pharisees are bound together. And as for some of the things I say in Latin…’Es mea infinitum’ means ‘you’re my infinity’. And you are, my Emilee, for infinitum.” His hands have grasped mine by this point and he raises my knuckles to his lips as he presses a kiss lightly against them. “As I said –I have no regrets about what I’ve done. I simply wish you come to accept this and love me as well in due time.”