You're My Infinity

“So if Ronan really is real and you’re him, what exactly are you doing here?” I heard her ask in her beautiful voice. I smiled slightly at the way the words seemed to spew out of her plump pink lips like the melody of a song. It was just as beautiful as I remembered. My heart throbbed painfully as I listened to her say my name; it sounded more beautiful than I had ever remembered and, for once, I enjoyed having the name that I did.

“Well, I already told you: I came looking to find you!” I told her. Slowly my hands reached out to take hers in mine – desiring the touch of her skin that I had only felt for a moment to stop her from leaving – but I let them drop awkwardly to my sides once again.

I could recognize the apprehension in her face and it made me frown slightly. The first time that I had caught her crying, my heart had broken and wept right along with her. Now I was just going to cry because she seemed to be willing to deny the fact that I had waited eleven year… Eleven long years of wondering if she ever thought of me – eleven long years of trying to be a good prince when I knew that my heart was residing in the hands of a human girl far away.

My eyebrows furrowed together as she seemed to be backing up slowly to avoid me. “What? Why don’t you believe me that that is what I did?” I asked her. It hurt to see her trying to leave me. I had always thought that the sparks would rekindle instantly between us the instant we laid eyes on each other – but then again I wondered if maybe I was the only one to feel those sparks in the first place… And the sparks were still raging strong for me anyways.

“Why?” Her sweet voice called out. I closed my eyes, basking in the sound slightly as it reverberated through my ears. It only lasted for a second though, and then I had to open my eyes to the questioning look on her face.

It wasn’t even really questioning but accusatory, frightened, annoyed. I wished that I could close my eyes and make her retry it… Maybe then she’d actually look like she was happy that I had broken out of my home in the tree to come find her. I knew that it wouldn’t work though.

Instead I almost wished that I could erase the last eleven years of my life, starting from the day that I had met my Emilee – er, just Emilee… I apparently hadn’t left such a big mark on her as she had me. Still, there was something in me that told me that I wasn’t supposed to give up just yet. I could show her what it meant to love. I certainly hadn’t gone through all of this just to “see” her, had I? No, I expected more than that… And I was going to have her.

I shook my head in disbelief of her question. “Why wouldn’t I come find you?!” I asked her, possibly in a tone that was slightly more puncturing than I had meant to – but I loved this girl too much for her to blow me off like that… “I’ve been wandering around for the past eleven years of my life thinking about you!”

It was then that I noticed she really looked nervous. “Why would you do such a thing?!” She asked in a tone that made the guilt I had been feeling for my own tone diminish immensely. She spoke in an acidic tone as if we had never been best friends but I was just the bee that had stung her on her ankle three summers ago.

Then I feared the worst. Surely, I was supposed to be married off to some worthy Pharisee soon, so it was possible that she was expected to do the same. I could understand the fear in her face now if she were betrothed to another; I guess that would make things more difficult for us, but I could certainly work around it.

“Is there another?!” I asked her gently, my tone significantly different than the accusatory one my voice held before. “If there is, we can change things, Emilee!” I promised her and I ran towards her.

She retaliated by stepping back from me and shaking her head. “No!” She said quietly but affirmatively. “What are you talking about?!”

My heart froze for a moment then. Her words kept repeating themselves in my head and I shook my head to get them out. /It hurt to hear that she was somehow denying my love. I wanted to make her happy as I had always pictured myself doing before… The Pharisees were always easy to love – maybe humans weren’t as easy to love.

“Well don’t you know that I love you?!” I asked her cautiously, holding my hands out to her. I knew that she wasn’t going to accept that offer into my arms which hurt me even more.

My Emilee shook her head at me then, vigorously. She seemed as if she were going to cry from what I was saying. What was going on? If what I was saying didn’t sound legit to her why was she on the verge of tears instead of mad at me for saying such things.

“No!” She started angrily. “Listen Ronan – “ Again my eyes closed at the ecstasy of hearing her say my name. “ – I don’t know what you’re thinking… We met eleven years ago!” She started quietly. “You’re a six-inch tall Pharisee that most people don’t think exist and I’m human!” She argued with me.

I just shrugged. “Actually, I am ten inches tall! I’m pretty tall amongst the Pharisees here!”

“Ronan!” She reprimanded loudly. “What don’t you get about this?! We are two completely different people, and we are never going to work!”

She turned to leave again and I grabbed her wrist once again. “But how do you explain this?!” I motioned down to her costume that exactly mirrored the female Pharisees outfits. “There must be some part of you that remembers me and wants to honor what we are! You can’t deny that!”

And then I leaned back on my heels slightly and waited for her response. I was going to convince her that I wanted to be with her… whether she liked it or not.