You're My Infinity

As my body comes into wakefulness, at first I cannot remember much beyond the events that happened at my house earlier the previous day, and thoughts of my sister come to mind. As a vulgar headache begins to pound against my skull though, my evening comes to mind, and I feel a small frown pulling at my lips- this is mainly because I cannot remember much past drinking that golden liquid I had accepted from Ronan. And what I do remember is so muddled that it only serves to worsen the headache.

With a small noise, I turn over in my bed, curling into the covers as I push my face into my pillow, expecting the content feeling of it to draw me back into sleep. As soon as the scent –yes, the scent- of the pillow reaches my nose though, my eyes come immediately open because I know I am not in my own bed. And sure enough, the sight I’m met with looks nothing like the small house that I live in with my mama and sister. This place looks like it’s made of twigs and leaves, an earthy scent surrounding me and sunlight pouring into the space, undaunted.

My first thought is to wonder how I got here, and the second is where, exactly, I am. What happened last night? Shaking my head slightly, strands of chestnut hair fall in my face, and I push them out, headache forgotten as I climb out of the strange bed, realizing I’m still in my costume as I glance around with pursed lips. There is another bed nearby, but this one is unoccupied and made up, unlike the one I had just crawled from.

Curiosity drives me towards what appears to be a doorway then, and I push aside a covering which is fashioned like a leaf from my path as I start to step outside- I need to know where I am. I fail to take even one step out though before the sight before me drives me back again and the curtain falls back in place. ’It can’t be…this has to be a dream..’ Those are the thoughts that run through my head. After all, how am I supposed to react to what I saw? Trees are everywhere, natural enough, but their scale is all out of whack. If I thought trees were large before, it’s nothing compared to this, and I know it isn’t right. I really have to be in a dream because there is no way I am actually this small.

For a moment, I consider maybe going to verify what my eyes have already seen, but as the curtain –which now I take to be a real leaf- starts to move on its own, my eyes flit around the room. I see something which looks like it could suffice as a make-shift weapon, and I snatch up the stick in my hands and hold it in a protective position, practically having hopped backwards as I wait for whoever to come in, ready to attack if the need arises.

Then Ronan appears, still looking taller than me and without the green paint on his skin and wearing his normal clothes. The expression on his face shifts from a smile to a look of alarm, then befuddlement, seeming to land in an expression of bemusement; although I can’t fathom what’s so funny. “Where am I?” I ask, surprised at the steadiness of my voice when I feel like it should be very wobbly. My pulse is all over the place, and I swear the stick in my hand must be trembling at least a little.

“Emilee, the better question is, what are you doing? Please, put down the stick. I won’t hurt you; you should know that already. I promise that as soon as you do, we can sit down and I will explain everything. You already know a lot though…” He trails off, surprising me at the gentle town in his voice as he spoke, and for a moment it’s all I can do to stay in the position I am. Something compels me to do as he has asked though, and before my mind can fully register what I’m doing, I’ve actually put down the stick.

Almost as soon as I’ve done this, Ronan crosses over to me, wrapping an arm around me without invitation, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and he sits me down on the bed I had just found myself getting out of. For a moment, the air is silent, and then he begins to speak. “I have to warn you, this may or may not be hard for you to hear. I was very serious last night when I claimed to love you, Emilee, and to be honest, I didn’t quite see another choice for us. But to get to the point, the last drink you had, had a potion in it that turned you into a Pharisee, and I brought you back here.”

In the pause, I stand up, pulling away from him as my eyebrows furrow, facing him. “I’m a Pharisee now?!” I ask and shake my head. “Ronan!-” I frown at the look on his face as I say his name, knowing I really need to stop doing that. “-What about my family? I need to get back to my mama, my sister. They need me!”

It’s his turn to frown, now, at my outburst, and he stands up; I have to admit it’s still weird at how I have to crane my neck to look up at him. For a moment he looks as if he’s struggling for the right words, and after waiting a little bit as he does this, he finally does speak. “You can’t go back,” he says simply, though softly, as if he knows what my reaction will be. He smiles at me then though. “That’s okay though, because you’re here with me finally.” His hand brushes against my cheek, then moves to a spot just at the back of my neck as an unreadable look crosses his face for a moment. “Es mea infinitum.”

I want to pull away from him, once again, because of what I’ve just been told, hurt thrumming through my chest, but as those foreign words come from his mouth coupled with his hand at that spot at my neck, it’s like my body is frozen to the spot in some sort of trance. I find his intense gaze on me, and it isn’t until he pulls his hand away that I feel like I can move again. I shift the slightest bit away from him, frowning as I put a hand to the back of my neck and glance at Ronan uncertainly. “What was that?” I ask, almost sorry at the near demanding tone of my voice. “I mean…what just happened?”

This time, he really does smile, looking for a moment as if he might reach out to me again and simply brush my hand back. “If you’ll look in a mirror you’ll see it. I think for the time being though, I shouldn’t tell you what exactly it means. You should get used to be a Pharisee first…” he trails off as if he wants to say more, add something to the end, but clamps his mouth shut, and then gets a decisive look on his face. “I guess now would be a good time to show you around, especially since this will be your new home, and you’ll see my parents later this evening. Are you ready to go?”

He doesn’t even look at me as he starts to head back towards the doorway, and for a moment I’m still, before I turn around and this time it is me taking his wrist and forcing him to look at me, my eyes narrowed a little. “Tell me what it was,” I say, a warning tone seeping into my voice. “I swear, I’m not going anywhere until you do.”

He looks both flustered a bit amused as he stops, not moving away from my grasp on his wrist but seemingly into it, until he’s penetrated my private bubble, and his completely invading my space. “Es mea infinitum,” he repeats softly, his breath hot near my ear, but doesn’t pull away after that. “I plan on marrying you, Emilee…my Emilee. Just remember those words I said earlier, and eventually you’ll understand their meaning too.” All cryptic and crap, he pulls away then, switching the position to where he’s the one with my wrist in his hand. “Now, let’s go before the sun goes down.” The serious, intense expression he had been carrying with that little moment passed into a look of teasing happiness as he began to practically drag me out of the safety of the small room and back out into the sunlight.

All the while though, I can’t help but wonder at what meaning he had when he had said those things to me, and a lump has formed in my throat. Sure, I was friends with Ronan for a day when I had been 5, lost in the woods, and I had felt a sort of friendship-like closeness last night while I had still been in my right mind and not intoxicated, but marriage? From the look he had, I automatically knew he was being serious, but that didn’t mean I wanted to believe it. So on top of everything else, there was a huge problem.