Doogie Howser, Kid Doctor

"STRIKE! In your face, Doog!" Shouted Vinnie. He danced, victoriously and his bowling shoes squeaked against the wooden floor. He pulled on his long, red shirt, "Don't get mad at me." He said sounding silly, "I'm only the greatest bowler there ever was!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now move out of the way. Let me try." Doogie said. He walked over to the rack of bowling balls and picked a heavy one. He stuck his fingers into the small holes and smiled at Vinnie, "I bet I can be just as good as you, Vin."

Vinnie pointed to himself, "Vin, who? Vin me? Cause if that is what you mean, then you must be a pathological liar! It happens to be IMPOSSIBLE to beat me."

"The last thing you can diagnose me with is Pseudologia fantastica." Doogie shook his head.

Vinnie frowned, "What-ia what-ica?"

"You know, mythomania?"

"Ok, this isn't about who's smarter, it's about who's the best at BOWLING, so go!" Vinnie pointed to the triangle set up of the white pins. Doogie walked up, his shiny new bowling shoes reflecting off the polished floor. Slowly he brought back the ball, but suddenly he noticed something odd. Behind the bowling pins he saw the face of a girl, looking directly at him. She seemed to have tears on her face. He dropped his arm down and looked closer. Vinnie rolled his eyes and tapped his foot impatiently. Doogie walked down the aisle where he was supposed to roll the ball and ended up right at the pins.

"Cheata..." Vinnie rubbed his hands on his face, frustratedly.

"Hello?" Doogie's voice echoed across the long hallway-like structure behind the bowling alley. "Is there someone there?"

"Help!" Came a cry from right beneath him.

Doogie immediately looked down and saw a woman, sweating and breathing deeply, "I think he's here!" She shouted.

Doogie's eyes widened, "Who's here? You think who is here?" He kneeled down, trying hard to see the woman, but could not because of the pins and all the equipment as well.

"The--the--" She screamed and Doogie jumped really high, causing the pins to fall over. Suddenly, a long box came sliding down to pick up the fallen pins and replace them. Doogie ran back and allowed the box to finish. He rushed back to the pins.

"Ma'am?" He shouted.

But there was no reply. She was suddenly gone!

"Doog! Come on! That's not funny!" Vinnie shouted at him. "You never are..." he said to himself.

Doogie ran back down the aisle, but suddenly slipped and fell on his back. Vinnie was startled, and he ran over to his friend. Realizing that running was the reason Doogie had slipped, he began to walk instead, but at a fast pace.

"Don't worry, Doog! I'm comin'!" Vinnie screeched out. He finally made it to Doogie, and he kneeled down beside him, "You alright?"

Doogie sat up, "Yeah..." He rubbed his head then held onto his back, "I shouldn't have been running. But I was kind of scared..."

"Of what? Did ya think I would punish you for cheating?" Vinnie asked, "I cheat all the time, so I don't mind all that much..."

Doogie stood up and wiped off his pants, "No, I was just..."

"What?" Vinnie blinked, rapidly, waiting for a reply.

"I don't know. I must have hit my head so hard that I am having temporary memory loss."

"Okay, what?" Vinnie scratched his head.

"Sometimes that can happen. It might come back to me in a second." Doogie rubbed his head again.

"Well, I am not surprised you hit your head. It's hard for ANYTHING to stay away from that thing! I think it was the gravitational pull of your massive cranium that caused you to tumble to the earth!" Vinnie laughed at himself.

Doogie glared at his friend, "You know, I really don't appreciate that! My head is not 'massive'. It just has enough room for a larger brain than most."

Vinnie shook his head, "No, it's massive and you know it." He laughed some more.

"Well, anyways!" Doogie shouted and his voice echoed throughout the bowling alley, "Let's go to a different place now. This is a giant mall, and we need to try out all the cool places before Canfield begs for me to come back."

"Alright, let's go!" Vinnie replied, and they ran out of the bowling alley.

Next, they arrived at a basketball court, and there they met up with a group of tall, muscular teenage boys. The game was a difficult one, especially since Vinnie had to be the referee since he was too short to play basketball. He continually called fouls on anyone that was not Doogie.

"Yo, man! You can't keep doin' that just because he's you friend!" Shouted a big, bald, dark-skinned boy.

"Doin' what?" Vinnie shouted back, "I'm the referee! You chose me! Deal with it, kid!"

Doogie glared at Vinnie, trying to tell him to shutup, but Vinnie continued, "I'm the one wearin' the stripes, here, mista! So back off!"

The big basketball player ran towards Vinnie like a lion headed for its prey. Vinnie squealed a high pitch squeal and ran to the water fountain. He ducked underneath it and cuddled himself.

"Just be glad I'm fat and you're short! Otherwise this woulda gotten MUCH worse." The big basketball player stated, angrily. He walked back to the court. "Hey, Big Head! You keep score, now, kay?"

Doogie automatically assumed he was talking to him, so he kept the score instead of played for two whole hours. After those hours had passed Doogie and Vinnie decided to go to the arcade.

"Last one there's a Big-Headed Kid Doctor!" Vinnie shouted as he ran down the hallway, passing by hair salons and jewelry booths and people begging for him to try a sample.

"Vinnie! You really shouldn't--" Doogie stopped shouting, "Well...now he's too far to hear me anyway, so..." He walked down the hallway to the direction of the arcade. Someone frantically stepped in front of him, "Hello, my name is Emilia Stonewater, but most people like calling me just Stone. Would you like to sample our newest perfume?" Asked the cute, red-headed woman with bright green eyes and a button nose.

"Uh, actually, I..." Doogie leaned to the side to try and catch a glimpse of Vinnie. He leaned back towards the lady and sighed, "I am a guy. I don't use perfume."

"Well," Emilia sighed, sounding a little annoyed, "No one is buying my product! I kinda need this money, kid! I am saving up!"

"Why don't you sell something you actually care about, then?" Doogie asked.

"What?!" Emilia inquired, "How did you know I didn't care?"

"Because you smell like La Fleur Violette." Doogie stated, bluntly.

"How do YOU know what that perfume is?"

"My girlfriend Wanda used to make me buy it for her all the time. Anyways, I really gotta go." Doogie tried to walk away, but Emilia grabbed his shoulder.

"Could you please buy some of THIS for your Wanda? I really need the money!" She said, impatiently.

"Well, actually...she is not my girlfriend anymore..." Doogie shrugged, "Hey, Stone...why don't you go down the hall a little ways and set up your booth there. Down there is where all the women's stores are, anyways. I know that because of Wanda, too."

Emilia paused for a while, then answered, "That's a good idea." Her voice cracked a little, either from her tiredness or just because her voice was squeaky and scratchy in general. "Yeah, I'll do that. Oh, by the way, if you see my best friend Lacey, please tell me. I haven't seen her all day. She's, like, missing or something."

"What does she look like?" Doogie asked.

"Well, here's her picture..." Emilia opened up her little pink purse and pulled out a picture of a pretty blond girl with dark brown eyes. She was wearing a green dress and green shoes. "She's actually wearing that stuff today. She took this at the photo booth."

"I...I kind of recognize her...for some reason..." Doogie looked a bit startled.

"Here, you can take this picture if you want." Emilia held the picture out to him.

"No, that's alright. I am pretty sure I can remember what she looks like."

"Really? You must have a pretty good memory, then." Emilia placed the photo back into her purse, "Well, go ahead and do what you were going to do. Maybe I'll see you later."

"Maybe. Goodbye." Doogie continued back down the hall, still pondering about the picture of the girl. He finally made it to the end and saw Vinnie playing Pac Man.

"Well, it's about time, Doog! I am already on Level 12!" He said, angrily.

"Sorry, I got stuck in traffic." Doog walked up to Vinnie and watched him go from Level 12 all the way to Level 24.

"Alright! New high score!" Vinnie shot his arms up in the air. "With all these things I am great at, soon I will RULE THE MALL!"

Doogie glared at him.

Vinnie laughed, "Ha ha! Get it? Rule the mall? Rule them all? It's a funny joke, come on! Give me some kudos here!"

Doogie clapped his hands, sarcastically, "Great job, Vin. Can we go somewhere else now?"

Vinnie blinked rapidly, a little bit embarrassed, but mostly just because that was the way he blinked. "Sure, yeah. Let's go."

They walked out of the arcade.

"Where to next?" Vinnie asked. Before Doogie could answer, the boys heard a loud scream coming from far down the hallway. The crowd at the mall barely noticed, but Doogie and Vinnie did. They rushed down the hallway to see who had just screamed bloody murder.