Anorexic Neighborhood
Anorexic Neighborhood (part fourteen)
The next few weeks were my Hell on earth. I didn't care about anything. I was a walking zombie. I missed so much school from exhaustion, and when I did manage to go, I felt as though everyone were judging me.
Always lost in my mirror (or any for that matter) I couldn't escape the perception of being disgustingly fat. Jenny and I grew further apart. Our friendship turning into a competiton on who was thinner. We wound up fighting (literally) during a drunken state at some random party that seems all too blurry to me now.
One day at school I couldn't get my locker to open. I was already running late to my English class, and managed to catch Neil still loitering in front of his locker. I walked up to him, not knowing what to say. I was still pissed-off from the party where he happily accepted a lap dance from Bobbi. From then on I ignored his feeble attempts to try and win me back.
He looked up surprised when I approached him. "Neil I need your locker. I'm so late, and I'm not carrying all of these books with me." I smiled, and placed my things in his locker without waiting for his response. He was still gaping at me, like someone who never saw a sky or something. Annoyed I looked down. Wanting to run away. I hated being scrutinized. I started walking off but he held me back.
"Neil! I'm late. Let me go to class!" I demanded hotly. He looked at me in all his simple sincerity. "Babe. What happened to your arms?" He pondered accusingly. I looked at my arms, not getting what he meant. "I don't know what you're talking about Neil." I explained dumbly.
The next few weeks were my Hell on earth. I didn't care about anything. I was a walking zombie. I missed so much school from exhaustion, and when I did manage to go, I felt as though everyone were judging me.
Always lost in my mirror (or any for that matter) I couldn't escape the perception of being disgustingly fat. Jenny and I grew further apart. Our friendship turning into a competiton on who was thinner. We wound up fighting (literally) during a drunken state at some random party that seems all too blurry to me now.
One day at school I couldn't get my locker to open. I was already running late to my English class, and managed to catch Neil still loitering in front of his locker. I walked up to him, not knowing what to say. I was still pissed-off from the party where he happily accepted a lap dance from Bobbi. From then on I ignored his feeble attempts to try and win me back.
He looked up surprised when I approached him. "Neil I need your locker. I'm so late, and I'm not carrying all of these books with me." I smiled, and placed my things in his locker without waiting for his response. He was still gaping at me, like someone who never saw a sky or something. Annoyed I looked down. Wanting to run away. I hated being scrutinized. I started walking off but he held me back.
"Neil! I'm late. Let me go to class!" I demanded hotly. He looked at me in all his simple sincerity. "Babe. What happened to your arms?" He pondered accusingly. I looked at my arms, not getting what he meant. "I don't know what you're talking about Neil." I explained dumbly.
"Yes you do. I'm worried about you Ashley. You're so damn skinny, it scares the hell out of me." He was serious. Just then Johnny (Mr. pervert) sauntered up to us. He looked Neil up and down intimidatingly. Neil wasn't the least bit fazed. Johnny smiled at me and threw his arm over my shoulder. "Leave her alone Neil." Johnny told him egotistically. "She looks hot. Don't tell her otherwise." Neil just glared at him.
I ducked from underneath Johny's arm and sped away down the hall. I heard Neil call my name, but I didn't turn back. Johnny's laughter echoed through the halls, and I trembled while trying to contemplate what he meant. I didn't want to look hot! I wanted to look thin! I vowed to myself I wouldn't stop until everyone thought so. No matter what...
(to be continued)
Always lost in my mirror (or any for that matter) I couldn't escape the perception of being disgustingly fat. Jenny and I grew further apart. Our friendship turning into a competiton on who was thinner. We wound up fighting (literally) during a drunken state at some random party that seems all too blurry to me now.
One day at school I couldn't get my locker to open. I was already running late to my English class, and managed to catch Neil still loitering in front of his locker. I walked up to him, not knowing what to say. I was still pissed-off from the party where he happily accepted a lap dance from Bobbi. From then on I ignored his feeble attempts to try and win me back.
He looked up surprised when I approached him. "Neil I need your locker. I'm so late, and I'm not carrying all of these books with me." I smiled, and placed my things in his locker without waiting for his response. He was still gaping at me, like someone who never saw a sky or something. Annoyed I looked down. Wanting to run away. I hated being scrutinized. I started walking off but he held me back.
"Neil! I'm late. Let me go to class!" I demanded hotly. He looked at me in all his simple sincerity. "Babe. What happened to your arms?" He pondered accusingly. I looked at my arms, not getting what he meant. "I don't know what you're talking about Neil." I explained dumbly.
The next few weeks were my Hell on earth. I didn't care about anything. I was a walking zombie. I missed so much school from exhaustion, and when I did manage to go, I felt as though everyone were judging me.
Always lost in my mirror (or any for that matter) I couldn't escape the perception of being disgustingly fat. Jenny and I grew further apart. Our friendship turning into a competiton on who was thinner. We wound up fighting (literally) during a drunken state at some random party that seems all too blurry to me now.
One day at school I couldn't get my locker to open. I was already running late to my English class, and managed to catch Neil still loitering in front of his locker. I walked up to him, not knowing what to say. I was still pissed-off from the party where he happily accepted a lap dance from Bobbi. From then on I ignored his feeble attempts to try and win me back.
He looked up surprised when I approached him. "Neil I need your locker. I'm so late, and I'm not carrying all of these books with me." I smiled, and placed my things in his locker without waiting for his response. He was still gaping at me, like someone who never saw a sky or something. Annoyed I looked down. Wanting to run away. I hated being scrutinized. I started walking off but he held me back.
"Neil! I'm late. Let me go to class!" I demanded hotly. He looked at me in all his simple sincerity. "Babe. What happened to your arms?" He pondered accusingly. I looked at my arms, not getting what he meant. "I don't know what you're talking about Neil." I explained dumbly.
"Yes you do. I'm worried about you Ashley. You're so damn skinny, it scares the hell out of me." He was serious. Just then Johnny (Mr. pervert) sauntered up to us. He looked Neil up and down intimidatingly. Neil wasn't the least bit fazed. Johnny smiled at me and threw his arm over my shoulder. "Leave her alone Neil." Johnny told him egotistically. "She looks hot. Don't tell her otherwise." Neil just glared at him.
I ducked from underneath Johny's arm and sped away down the hall. I heard Neil call my name, but I didn't turn back. Johnny's laughter echoed through the halls, and I trembled while trying to contemplate what he meant. I didn't want to look hot! I wanted to look thin! I vowed to myself I wouldn't stop until everyone thought so. No matter what...
(to be continued)