Lose Yourself

I spent a majority of my time sitting in my room. It wasn’t exactly like I could leave the house without being followed like I was some sort of child. Granted, to them, I was potentially dangerous. I would be a little on edge, too, if I were responsible for a youngling.

I was supposed to be some sort of terrifying monster that destroyed all beautiful things and such. Personally, I didn’t see it. The craving for blood was strong and potent; however it wasn’t like I wanted to hurt anyone for it. My life revolved around the idea that there could be another way. There had to be. Without drinking from a human or an animal, quite frankly I found animal blood to be less satisfying.

What about bag blood?

Humans do that. My mom did, she loved to donate blood whenever it was needed. If we could get some of those, I supposed we could live life more comfortably than we expected. I wanted to bring the idea up to Jev, he seemed just as concerned as I was, mainly because of Sam.

Sam had made it very clear that we were not to hunt in Forks or the Reservation, no if, ands or buts about it. He had also warned us about another type of supernatural thing.

Were all the fairy tales right? Could it be possible that every monster from stories were actually real?
A coven of nine vampires lived in Forks, but were in hiding. Typically, just like werewolves, vampires don’t age. They freeze not only on the outside, but on the inside. A vampire can go without blood for months on end. He’ll survive. He doesn’t need it, yet they feed on the same creatures we do. According to Kate, it caused a lot of stress between the two sides. Vampires had nearly killed us down to extinction.

There were several differences I was aware of between vampires and werewolves. First: we were more human, although we acted the same, our internal organs still processed. Heartbeat and all. Secondly: one werewolf could easily take down a lone vampire. There really wasn’t a struggle at all, we had the upper advantage of opposable thumbs when we turned. And thirdly: We’re completely immune to vampire venom. It doesn’t hurt us, nor burn us. It doesn’t have any impact on our body or mind. However, in our turned forms, we lose all sense of reality. We’re ruthless and we kill. We don’t realize what we’re doing, it’s all the subconscious part of our mind, the animal part of us that controls what we do every full moon. Contrary to the belief, silver bullets didn't affect us, and silver in general doesn't bother us.

“And that is why, Dakota, we need to keep it on the down low. We’re considered to be the most powerful creatures of all time! Immunity, speed, strength and the ability to look human make us the most dangerous predators. We have a heartbeat, we’re warm, and we smell wonderful. There isn’t anything that sets us apart from the rest of them-aside from the ageless thing.”

I had contemplated that. Spending the rest of my life looking like a sixteen year old didn’t sound as appealing as I had hoped. I mean, every teenager wants to live forever and I did, I just wanted to look older.

“Won’t it be kind of weird looking so young to everyone when I’m supposed to be like, twenty?”
Jev laughed, “Dakota, I’m seventy-eight years old, and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t thank the lord for my good charm.”

“It’ll be startling, yes. You’ll grow into it though. Eventually, your body will build up muscle from turning and you’re mind will have your features heighten.” Kate lounged lazily on the couch, staring aimlessly at pages in a magazine. “Dakota, how old do I look to you?”

I simply answered, “Twenty-two.”

“I was fifteen when I turned.” I wanted to gasp, fall over, react in some form but I knew she’d have a remark for my childishness.

“Fifteen?”

She nodded, “Yes. It wasn’t easy and it was scary, the thought of never getting older. My body caught up with me, and after I turned twenty-one, I stopped.”

“What about the shape-shifters?”

Jev looked up from his place at the table, mouth half full with a bagel, “Shape-shifters aren’t bitten, they’re born. And they don’t just turn when they hit a certain age. The presence of vampire’s causes their bodies to prepare them for the change.”

“Prepares them? How?”

“Like insane muscles gain.” Kate mused.

“And height.”

“Then what?”

Kate threw her magazine on the end table and sat up, “Then they change for the first time. After that, their bodies fully shift, they’re more grown, more of men than young boys.”

“So, they all turn when they’re young?”

“There’s a window period for a shape-shifter to turn, I believe after twenty-one they can’t.”

I inhaled loudly, “That’s kind of scary.”

She shrugged, “It more than likely is. After that, what with the confusion and suddenness, they build up frustration and anger. The littlest things can cause them to blow, they’re very sensitive people.”
“Not that it would make a difference, right?”

Jev laughed, “Don’t get me wrong, we’re powerful but defenseless. Keep in mind that we’re still breathing mammals. We still get hurt, bleed, and can die from that—but only in our human form.”
I hated how they spoke out us like being human was a horrible thing, as if they’d rather walk around on hind legs like an ape and tear people apart. It was a terrifying thought, the idea that I was dangerous and had power that no other did.”

“What about vampires?”

Kate laughed, “Enough questions, why does it matter? The only thing we don’t have to worry about here is the vampires.”

“What about the shape-shifters?”

“They’re another pack, two at that. We’re invading territory. Things might get rough between us, but they’re willing to let us live peacefully here for a few months.”

“Plus the vampire’s are vegetarians.”

“I thought they only drank—“

“They only drink animal blood. They walk among humans—or, well they did until they’re newest member joined them. Animal blood keeps their eyes golden, rather than red.”

Red and golden eyes? “Do our eyes change colour?”

Jev shook his head, “Not really. The blue in our eyes brightens when we feed, show we’re hungry or angry. Same with Kate’s eyes, but the orange comes out in them.”

“Anything else I should know?”

“Don’t go making bets with anyone that you can beat them in arm wrestles or races.” Kate said, looking knowingly over at Jev.

“Why? Because we always win and someone might suspect something?”

Jev snorted, “Because as humans, we’re just humans. There is no supernatural ability unless we turn, which happens only once a month.”

“We can’t change any other time?”

“We can, but it’s not known that a werewolf does that to themselves on a regular basis. It’s excruciatingly painful.”

We had all this tremendous power we could use once a month and we didn’t even get to control what we did with it.

That, I believe, is bullshit.