Metanoia

The next time I came home late, all the lights were on again.

“Goddammit Rory, the lights need to be off; I pay for these!” I flicked all the lights off on my way to my bedroom, and surprisingly, Rory wasn’t there.

I frowned and went to check his room. He was lying on the floor, sleeping next to a closed book. He still had his glasses on, so I went in and took them off for him and set them on the window sill.

I wanted to wake him up and ask if he’d eaten since I left. He probably hadn’t.

But it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie, so I left, turning the light off on my way out.

I sat in the living room for a few minutes, trying to watch t.v., but the heat was too much. It made me miss the cold air I’d walked home in.

So I fished a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket, stuck one in my mouth, and headed out to the porch. Once outside, I felt like I could breathe. I lit my cigarette and leaned over the railing of the porch. I’d barely even finished taking the first drag before a shadow moved. I brushed it off as the girl from next door, but then she spoke.

“I’m surprised you didn’t see me right from the get off. Or are you just ignoring me, Jace?”

I choked on the smoke and my cigarette fell to the bushes below us. “Fuck—Elousie! What the hell are you even doing here?”

She leaned against the railing next to me and stared off into the distance. So suave.

“I came to see my baby brother and make sure that sick bastard of my ex-fiancée hadn’t forced him to do anything nasty.

I sighed at her. “Come on, Elouise. You know I wouldn’t make him do anything. You know me,” I tried to reason.

“Obviously I don’t fucking know you well enough Jace, because look what’s fucking happened so far,” she huffed.

“What all did he say?” I raised an eyebrow at her even though she couldn’t see.

“He told me so fucking much Jace, you don’t even realize. He told me that he sleeps in your bed and you share food, and you’ve even showered together. What the hell is that?!” She was damn near screeching.

“I took him to the gym with me once, to go swimming. And I cook for the both of us. I don’t see how that’s sharing. And he sleeps in my bed while I sleep on the couch. There’s nothing illegal happening in this apartment. I do have self control,” I lied. Elouise just looked at the ground.

“Jace, I’m doing all these things… I joined the fucking military. I wanted to be so much for you, valiant, courageous, fit, pretty. Why isn’t it enough? Why do you choose him over me?”

I sighed and looked out at the skyline. “Look, I’m flattered. Honestly, I think it’s great that you’re doing all this, but El, that’s never what I wanted. I want someone who I’d have to protect and care for, and I’m sure that you don’t need any of that now.”

She nodded. “Okay, Jace. I understand. This is it, then. I’ll get going as soon as possible. I’ve got a plane to catch before dawn.”

“I guess this is the end,” I said. Elouise hugged me suddenly, and everything about her body was different. She wasn’t pudgy and soft anymore. She was hard and lean, and she felt like a completely different woman. I didn’t want to hug her anymore.

So I pulled away, and she was off.

Rory and I didn’t see her much after that.