Ladybird.

Noelle had spent about twenty minutes in Mac’s room before she let out a frustrated groan and retreated to the living room. Mackenzie didn’t mean to make her upset, she just had say ‘no’ one too many times. The thing was, Noelle was all about looking your best each and every time you left the house. And while this was a good thought, Mackenzie wasn’t nearly as interested in adhering to it. So finally Noelle had told the shorter girl to just dress herself. So she did.

“Why do you insist on dressing like a nan?” Noelle called as Mackenzie finally exited her room.

“I don’t!” the ginger cried indignantly as she moved to get her coat from the hall closet.

“Mac, you’re wearing loafers, for Christ’s sake.”

“They’re cute loafers though! They’re not nan loafers.” Mackenzie let out a ‘harrumph’, which only prompted Noelle to let out a giggle before they locked up and headed to Elle’s car.

“Now I know this is going to be a little scary, but can you promise me that you’ll at least try to hold a decent conversation with them? They’re really excited to meet you. And I told them how talking isn’t your favorite thing, so they’ll go easy on you. But I want you to try. Not for me! For yourself, alright?” Noelle pleaded with the girl once they were about five minutes away from the pub. Mackenzie gnawed on her bottom lip as she tried to give herself a pep talk. Because honestly, she was freaking out inside. It’d been a while since she’d tried to make friends. And she really wanted these people to like her. Not because they were international pop stars, but because they were good friends of Noelle’s.

They soon parked and made their inside and Mackenzie immediately wanted to rip off her expensive coat. Not only was the large number of people giving off immense heat, but the large number of people was making her increasingly anxious. And her anxiety did not lessen in any way as Noelle took her hand and started leading her in what she assumed was the direction of her cousin and Niall. But she felt her breath catch in her throat as she spotted not two boys sitting at the table, but four. With Zayn and Niall, it seemed Harry and Liam had tagged along. And while she thanked her lucky stars that Louis wasn’t with them, she still couldn’t help the nausea that was settling in. Noelle seemed to notice at the same time as her and she quickly squeezed Mac’s hand reassuringly.

“I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t know they were going to be here. Please don’t freak out.” Noelle did look genuinely sorry and just as surprised as she did, so Mackenzie couldn’t be mad at her. So she took a deep breath and prayed for the best as they approached the table.

“Noelle!” Zayn cried as he spotted them, leaping from his seat to engulf his cousin in a bone crushing hug. They exchanged pleasantries and Mackenzie watched as the other three boys slid out of the booth to greet them. They all proceeded to give Noelle hugs before everyone just sort of stopped and turned to Mac.

“Boys, this is the infamous Mackenzie,” Noelle chirped with a grin, and they all started introducing themselves, making sure to shake her hand. It wasn’t until she got to the last boy, that she was pulled into a tight hug. It wasn’t one of those over compensating, can’t breathe kind of hugs though. It was more of a comforting ‘we’ve-been-best-friends-forever-and-I-missed-you’ kind of hugs.

“It’s so good to finally meet you! Noelle’s told us so much about you,” Niall murmured before releasing her and ushering her into the booth.

“Has she?” Mackenzie asked skeptically, her eyebrows knitting slightly. But Niall immediately got a large grin on his face, glad she was able to talk to him so quickly. Noelle had made it very clear that it might take her a while to open up, so this was fantastic. He let out a loud laugh at her expression, assuring her that it was nothing too bad. The two had been smushed to the inner part of the rounded booth, meaning they were basically touching. But for some reason, Mackenzie wasn’t bothered too much by it.

She only got super friendly vibes from Niall, nothing romantic. And she was pretty sure he was getting the same vibes from her, so all was well.

They spent the next hour or so huddled up together, talking in hushed voices about anything that came to mind. Nothing too deep or prying, mind you, but it was nice. Mackenzie was really enjoying herself. She felt a little bad that she wasn’t making much effort with the other boys, but they saw how she and Niall were clicking and they didn’t want to impose on that.

“Sorry I’m late, lads! Got stuck at- hi.” Mackenzie’s eyes abruptly pulled away from Niall’s at that voice. She knew that voice. And suddenly she felt like she was going to be sick.

“No worries, mate, at least you made it!” Noelle called as she leapt up from her seat and practically threw herself into his arms. He hugged her back tightly, but his eyes remained on the ginger girl crammed into the back of the booth. “Oh! This is Mackenzie, Lou!” She gave him a good clap on the back and he took a step toward the table, extending his hand.

“I’m Louis,” he greeted, his voice a little lost as she shook his hand. She gave him a tight lipped smile, not trusting her voice. The two filed back into the booth, and Mac couldn’t find his seat anymore bittersweet if she tried. Yes, he was far away from her, but his position also gave him a perfect view of her. And of course he couldn’t help but stare.

There she was. His Ladybird. Just sitting there. In a place other than the coffee shop. When he first reached the table he thought he must have gone mad. What would she be doing in a place like this with all his friends? He was surprised that none of them had pieced together that Noelle’s quiet friend and the girl who wouldn’t talk at the coffee shop were the same person. He felt so stupid for not realizing it before. All this time, he had her name, and he never even saw it. Mackenzie. His Ladybird.
Mackenzie hadn’t noticed she’d been staring at Louis until she felt Niall nudge her hip. Finally she brought hey eyes back over to his icy blue ones, which were clouded with slight concern.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, just thirsty!” She could have smacked herself at the outburst. She was certain Louis must have heard that. And for some reason she still didn’t want him hearing her voice. They had made it so far without it being necessary and now…
Things were going to change.

“I’ll get you another drink,” Niall quickly offered.

“I’ll come with you.” Mackenzie made sure to keep her voice much lower that time, and she grabbed onto Niall’s hand as he led her out of the booth. Louis’ eyes stayed glued to the girl as she and Niall made their way to the bar, and he kept them on her right until she came back to the booth. At that point he forced himself to look away, for fear of being caught by the boys.

Mackenzie lasted another hour in the pub. She and Niall went back to murmuring to each other, giggles falling from their lips here and there. It was almost as she’d forgotten that Louis had even shown up. But then he made himself known, speaking up seemingly out of nowhere.

“So what do you do, Mackenzie?” he called across the table, and Mac immediately felt all the color drain from her face. The table fell silent as Mackenzie just stared back at Louis for a few long moments.

“Nothing,” she finally muttered, her eyes falling to her lap.

“Oh, come on, surely you-”

“Noelle, I think I’m gonna get a cab. I’m not feeling well,” Mac cut over him, her eyes flitting to her best friend.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind driving you-”

“No, stay. I’ll be fine.” She gave Niall a quick, but tight hug and a kiss on the cheek before telling the boys it was nice to meet them and then practically crawling out of the booth. She all but raced out of the building and headed for the street to hail a cab.

“Mackenzie!” she heard from behind her, and she didn’t need to look to know who had followed her. She would know the White Rabbit’s voice anywhere. But she ignored it, already feeling her eyes well up with hot tears as she walked father away from the building. “Mackenzie!” he called again, this time much closer than before. But still she pretended to play deaf and moved even farther from the pub. “Mac-”

“What?” She finally shouted, spinning to face him. His eyebrows were knit together in concern and he was clearly startled by her outburst. After seeing her silent so many times, he had never expected that volume to come from her. He swallowed loudly, rubbing his hands on the front of his trousers.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked in such a broken, defeated voice. Mackenzie felt one of the tears spill down her face and she was quick to wipe it away. They stared at each other for a long time, and Louis was begging her to say something. But finally, Mackenzie shook her head, a few more tears falling, before she swiftly turned and walked to the end of the block.

And what could Louis do? She certainly didn’t want him around. Who was he to chase after some girl he hardly knew? But there was a piercing pain in his gut as he watched her climb into a cab and then forced himself to go back inside. He mustered up the best smile he could because he just wasn’t ready to tell the boys. He couldn’t.

--

Mackenzie woke up the next morning feeling like she’d been hit by a bus. She knew going out last night was going to be a horrible idea. But she humored Noelle and look where it got her. A hand crept out from her blankets as she blindly felt around on the nightstand for her phone, and once she finally found it, she saw she had a text from an unknown number. Her stomach plummeted as she feared it was Louis, but a small puff of air was released from her lungs as she read it over.

hey mac its niall. just wanted t make sure u were ok. elle gave me ur number after I begged her, so dont be mad!

A small smile reached her lips and she was grateful to have met him last night, regardless of how shit everything else was. Her thumbs quickly tapped along the keyboard, sending a message back.

i’m fine, thank you. and I promise I won’t bloody her up too much.(;

He replied soon after she’d pulled herself from bed, telling she was great and asking if she wanted to get lunch later. Although she felt sort of bad declining, Mackenzie couldn’t help it that she didn’t want to leave her apartment for the next few days. She was still a bit shaken up from seeing the White Rabbit. But Niall said it was no problem, and he didn’t mind taking a raincheck. He really was a lovely boy.

--

And so, Mackenzie didn’t leave the apartment for the next week. She wasn’t sure she’d leave even if the building was burning down. Maybe she was being a bit overdramatic, but there was just something about Louis that terrified her. Her whole body felt like it was on fire when she saw him in the pub. And she was incredibly surprised that he didn’t say he knew her. He acted as all the other boys did, introducing himself and giving her space. She did feel sort of bad for being so rude to him, but she couldn’t help it. That was her defense. And this was exactly why she didn’t try to make friends. Because people always get hurt.

However, after being in hiding for so long, she did want to get back to her coffee shop. She was hoping that Louis had taken the hint and assumed she wouldn’t be coming back. And maybe that meant that he wouldn’t be coming back.

Mackenzie had a lunch date with Niall later, so she decided to look presentable instead of wearing leggings and oversized sweaters. She felt pretty that day, and she felt good, which was definitely promising. Given how horrid she had felt the past week, Mackenzie was worried that she was getting to a bad place again. But she was better now. She could handle this.

She got a vanilla chai and headed for her window seat, already feeling more at ease. The coffee shop was like a second home to her. She settled into her chair, one leg crossing over the other as she stared out at the street. People were passing in all directions, of all different walks of life. Maybe that was why she loved London so much. There were just so many people, and it was sort of comforting. Not so much the amount of people, but the amount of lives. There were so many different things happening just outside the doors of that coffee shop, and it made her White Rabbit fiasco seem so minuscule and well, silly. And suddenly she could breathe again, like some colossal weight had been lifted from her chest. Things were going to be okay.

“Hello, Ladybird.”

And suddenly that pep talk turned to shit. Her hazel eyes danced up to his aqua ones and she felt nauseous again. Of course he was there. Why wouldn’t he be there? She’d been silly to think- wait. He called her Ladybird, not Mackenzie. Her eyes widened at the realization as she stared at him. Why hadn’t he called her Mackenzie?

“How are you today?”

What was he doing? It was as if nothing had changed. And that definitely terrified Mackenzie. She thought she was scared of things changing, but apparently things not changing was worse.

“You were gone a while, weren’t you?” His eyes were trained to hers as he took a long sip from his mug. “I missed you, you know.” Mackenzie felt her heart flutter at his words and she felt even more horrible for dodging him. “Something happened while you were gone. I was hoping you’d have been here to talk about it, but…” His eyes dropped down to his mug and Mackenzie wanted very badly to reach across the table and take his hand in hers. He looked truly upset. Finally he brought his eyes back to hers and she was practically begging him to tell her what happened. He swallowed loudly, trying to gain his composure. He had never seen her look so concerned before. It felt good though. He was so terrified that she would want nothing to do with him anymore. But she was still sitting there, still waiting with baited breath to hear what he had to say. So after a deep breath, he finally muttered those five words that would ultimately change everything. “Eleanor and I broke up.”

Mackenzie nearly spit out her tea. They what? He let out a small chuckle at her expression.

“Yep. It’s over. I guess it just wasn’t working anymore. But, as horrible as it sounds, I can’t bring myself to be too upset about it. Does that make me a bad person? I mean, I love her and she’s a great girl, but...maybe we just weren’t meant for each other, you know?”

And even if Mackenzie could talk around him, she wouldn’t have at that point. Because inside she was cheering and running a marathon and seeing fireworks and thinking of all the things that made her happy because maybe, just maybe, that schoolgirl crush of hers had developed a bit more. But she couldn’t drop that on him. Not then. So she gave a small nod and sad smile to him. And he took it.

Louis’ next words took them both by surprise, and they would be thinking of them later that night. Because honestly? Neither of them were expecting it.

“You’re very pretty. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you.” But they both knew that was a lie. Because they both knew that he had called her pretty exactly twenty-seven times since the day they had met.