Shadowed

I type slowly, trying to feel the keys under my fingers and find some story, some lie I can tell the public and they will miraculously become a part of my fantasy world. It seems to me a taunting of my talent, gingerly laughing to itself as if to say; silly girl, you can write all you want but eventually it will end and the paper will still go on. Dari is reclined in my chair, staring upward at an ancient bound text. He spends most of our joint project reading the book rather then helping me write.

"If I were to lean over and kiss you what would you do?" I cough as a lump rises to my throat. I try not to look at him as I resume the soothing click across the key board. This isn't abnormal for Dari to say, though it does speed my pulse. From what I've come to know of him in the past few months he has a strange sense of humor.

Needless to say Dari kept his promise, and oddly enough we have managed to make a kind of friendship. So much so in fact that he occasionally makes house calls to my tiny apartment under the library. This is a particularly strange yet nice change for me for two reasons. For one, I don't have anyone else I could or would allow this much intimacy with. For two, I really enjoy the idea that Dari would spend time with me over the Circle. Not to say there is anything romantic between us, well at least not openly.

For a moment I act as though I haven't heard his comment though I cannot avoid his all knowing hazel eyes. I glance at him sidelong, hoping to catch a quick glimpse so as to determine his thoughts, but not quick enough to avoid that dazzling smile that melts my fingers to the keys. "What do you think I would do?" I say, trying to focus again on the screen, the pixels swim before me.

"I was hoping," He says. "You would kiss me back." I try not to breathe for fear of hyperventilating. I sit with a calm I don't feel, rushing my fingers across any letter that they can reach.

"Don't be ridiculous, how can I finish the report if we're kissing." I refuse to look back at his approach. He leans against the chair and stares at the screen before me, for a moment I make the vision come into focus. Across the screen a steady line of gibberish has been increasing in terrible capitals and numbers so that even I don't remember where I was bringing the point to.

Without notice Dari wraps his arms around me, nestling his head into the crook of my neck. His lips run over the delicate hairs gingerly and I resist the urge to shiver. It feels wonderful, this contact he has with me. He's so very open, so very willing to touch and be and feel. He never does try to kiss me though, as much as he taunts. "You shouldn't do that." I breathe, trying to control my voice.

He kisses my neck softly but releases me. "Your neck is so very warm." It's nearly a whisper, sending chills down my spine until I can't stand to look at him any more. I turn away to the computer and once again begin typing. Dari reaches across my hands and rests his palms on them stopping my motion. I look back at him.

I try not to be amazed by the brilliance of his features, the slope of his cheeks or the darkness of his bangs. But my eyes rebel and travel along the sculpture that is his body. I feel the sudden urge to wrap myself in a blanket, not wanting him to see the small rib bones peeking from my loose green tee, or the fragile hips that beg for meat rising above my jeans. I close my arms across myself, and pull my legs into the chair, checking the time on my screen.

"Looks like that time again," I say. "I should have the rest of this done by tomorrow night if you want to come over and finish the book. I'll print you out a rough draft for class though, just in case." Dari doesn't move, only looks at me smirking. I squirm, disliking being appraised by him. "Don't stare too much Dari, I'm not a monster."

Something runs across his face for a moment, a second of fear and anguish. He smiles weakly and brushes his fingers along my cheek, looking into my eyes searching for something. I try to smile and realize too late that my mouth does not know this function as of this moment, and is completely obsessed with the closeness of his lips.

"I don't want you to turn into a monster." He whispers quietly, breath rushing over me in a wave of dizziness. Have we ever been this close together before? His finger runs over a lock of my hair and I smile weakly and try to pawn it off as a game. He keeps my gaze, hair slipping from his fingers. "You're not like anyone else..."

I think our noses touch. I try to focus on his eyes but find myself wandering down to his quavering lips, beautiful, full, and so close. 'I'm not good enough' I tell myself. but just for this moment, just this once I won't let it stop the desire to be close to someone. To be something more than invisible.

"Kaylin," Dari's voice is strange. "Can I... taste you..." He whispers and a shiver runs down my spine. His voice envelopes me and my vision narrows. All I can focus on is Dari's warmth, his dark lashes, the freckles across his nose... His lips. Just centimeters before mine, almost lightly brushing them. A small moan escapes me and I fear I'll faint from the blood pooling to my face. I close my eyes and lean against him, willing myself to forget the world and let Dari do exactly what he said; taste me.