Sequel: The Pros and Cons of Living ›
The Pros and Cons of Breathing
Part 12
Gerard’s POV
Five Months Later…
“All she does is complain, complain, complain.” Mikey ranted, downing nearly a whole bottle of beer. “If it isn’t one thing it’s another.” He sighed, leaning back against mine and Frank’s couch.
“Aren’t you happy? I mean, you’ve got a kid coming in, what, a month a half?” I asked.
Mikey shrugged.
“I mean, I’d love to have a kid. Frankie doesn’t want one.”
“Why not?”
“Too difficult to go into. He’s got a logical reason, though. He just isn’t ready. He doesn’t think we’re ready, too.”
Mikey nodded. “Want mine?”
I rolled my eyes. “Mikey, you act like this is some terrible thing.”
“It isn’t.” Mikey sighed. “I just wasn’t ready for this.”
“Then you shouldn’t have fucked her.” I shrugged.
“I know that and I don’t resent the kid or anything… I’m just not ready yet.”
“Well you’re gonna have to get ready.” I said, looking at him.
He sighed and nodded. “I know. Everything is gonna be different and I don’t know ANYTHING about kids.”
“You’ll know when it’s born.” I said. “It’s like, father’s intuition or something. You’re just gonna know. Instinct.”
Mikey nodded and slumped back.
“You can do this.” I said.
He shook his head, exhaling. “We’ll see in two months time, huh?”
“Guess we will.” I said, finishing off my Diet Coke.
Frank’s POV
Our next album had been postponed because of Mikey and Alicia’s baby.
“I doubt it’ll even come out.” Gerard had told me when he’d told me the news.
I sighed and sat on mine and Gee’s bed, leaning against the pillows. I was biting my fingernails and thinking. I was nervous for Mikey and it got worse as the due date got closer. It was now just short of two months away until this baby was due and things looked…. Well… interesting. Mikey seemed to accept that he was going to be a dad, but it was like he wasn’t expecting it. Like he expected the baby to just disappear one day or something.
I hope he gets a reality check because this isn’t some guitar. It’s a kid and he doesn’t seem to be taking this seriously.
Almost Two Months Later…
Gerard’s POV
On March 25th at three in the morning we got the call that Alicia had gone into labor. Everyone rushed to the hospital and sat in the waiting room. Frankie and I were curled on this small couch while Brian, Ray, Bob, and Ray’s new girlfriend played cards.
Mikey was back with Alicia but came back every once in a while to tell us what was going on. Mikey was now excited to be a dad. He’d read books and was eagerly awaiting the birth of his baby.
I was happy for him, though I did wish I could have kids of my own. I knew Frank was warming up to the idea though because he was looking at the unisex outfits we’d bought for Mikey’s baby (they wanted the sex to be a surprise.) with a weird smile on his face.
We’d been in the waiting room for five hours when Mikey came out. He didn’t look like I’d expected him to look.
“Mikey?” I asked.
“It… was a girl.” He said in a monotone voice.
“Yes! A girl!” Ray clapped Mikey on the back.
“She was stillborn.” Mikey whispered.
The room, which had been filled with cheers, fell silent. I moved forward to hug Mikey and he began to cry into my chest.
“It’s okay.” I whispered in his ear, rubbing his back.
“It isn’t okay.” He sobbed. “She’s gone.”
Frank’s POV
It was awful, watching Mikey suffer. Even though at the beginning he hadn’t wanted this baby it was obvious he was suffering and he felt guilty.
“I was so bitter when Alicia told me. I guess I got what I originally wanted, right?” I had heard Mikey sobbing to Gerard a few days after the stillborn delivery. “I never wanted that damn baby anyway! She was gonna be nothing but trouble!”
Mikey said stuff like this all of the time, blaming himself because he hadn’t accepted it in the beginning. Every letter he got from fans seemed to make him angrier than before, and that was nothing compared to the letter from Alicia’s parents.
They were gonna get married. Alicia called it off.
They were gonna move in together. Alicia called it off.
They were going to be together forever. Alicia called it off.
So Mikey didn’t only lose a baby girl, but his girlfriend too.
Gerard didn’t trust Mikey to be on his own, so Mikey moved in with us. He stayed in the guest room and when I say he stated in the guest room I mean it literally. As in he hardly ever left.
It seemed like a terrible dream. All of the baby stuff was packed in boxes for charity and waiting in the living room for the trucks. I couldn’t help but stare at them, feeling a sense of longing. Why had this happened? Mikey didn’t deserve this. He was a good person.
“Hey, Frankie.”
I looked up to see Gerard.
“Hi.” I smiled sadly at him.
He sat by me and looked at the boxes with me.
“Is Mikey gonna be okay? He won’t really talk to me.”
“He’ll be fine.” Gerard said. “He just needs a bit.”
I nodded and laid my head on Gerard’s chest, squeezing his hand.
“He’ll pull through this.”
A Few Hours Later
Still Frankie’s POV
Gerard had gone to get groceries after the people came for the charity and I decided to try and talk to Mikey. I knew it would probably be a wasted attempt, but I had to try. After all, he helped me and Gerard get back together. Maybe I couldn’t help him and Alicia get back together, but I could try to make him feel a little better.
I crept into his room and he was laying, staring at the ceiling.
“Mikey?” I whispered.
He looked at me, tears brimming his hazel eyes. He wiped his eyes, sliding his index finer under his glasses, and then sniffed. “Yeah?”
“Are you… okay?”
“No.” He sighed, scooting over. I sat down by him and we curled together. “I wanted her. I may have acted like I didn’t want a baby but I did.” He whispered. “Everyone must think I’m this awful person, Frank, but I was scared… I didn’t want her to d-die. I never wanted that.”
“Everyone knows you were scared and no one thinks you wanted her to die.” I assured him, rubbing his back.
He shook his head. “This is my fault… for…. I don’t know. What did I do to deserve this?”
“Mikey, it happens a lot. It sucks, but it does. Remember, that’s what you told me about rapists being let free? Well, it applies here too. Babies are born stillborn and it sucks, but it happens…. We can’t stop it… we can only hope that next time it doesn’t.”
Mikey nodded, wiping his eyes again. “I wanted her, Frankie.” He collapsed into sobs, shoulders shaking.
I held him close. “I know, Mikey. I know, babe. I know.”
He sobbed hysterically until he couldn’t cry anymore and then he just laid against me, sniffling.
“It can only get better, right?” he finally sniffed. “I mean, I’ve lost Alicia and the baby. What worse can happen?”
“When you hit the bottom there’s no place to go but up.”
Mikey nodded. “Thanks, Frankie.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Gerard’s POV
It did take Mikey a while, but slowly he began to return to normal. After three weeks he was at the stage where he was going out with everyone and was able to enjoy himself.
Living with Mikey was definitely different. Not just because he was overcoming this huge tragedy in his life, but because I was once again living with my baby brother. It was weird. Sort of like when we were teenagers. Sometimes Mikey would sleep in until like three in the middle of the day. Other days I’d wake up at four to go to the bathroom and he’d be in the kitchen, just staring at the table. I never approached him when he was like that, zoned out, because I figured he needed it.
Now the guys were talking about band practices. I guess it’ll give Mikey something to do but I’m not sure. I think it’s too early. But everyone keeps assuring me it isn’t and that everyone needs this.
I got home from the store one day (How come I’m always the one who goes to the store? Well, Frank can’t reach everything, I suppose… hahaha.) and found Frank sitting on our porch swing. He gave me a big grin when I came up the steps.
“Gonna help?”
“Nah, it’s much sexier when you carry groceries in alone.”
I rolled my eyes at him and heaved him up.
We hauled the groceries in, and then he went back to the porch. I checked on Mikey who was napping on the couch, then went and pounced on Frank, almost knocking the swing into the house.
Frank giggled and laid down on the swing, pulling me on top of him.
“I love you.” He whispered, kissing me.
“I love you too.” I kissed him back, snuggling up to him.
We snuggled together, squished, on the swing. A car pulled into the driveway and soon Ray and Bob walked up.
“Hello.” Frank said, sounding squished and squeaky.
“Hi. Are you trying to smother him?”
“It’s a new sex position.” I said, nodding knowingly.
“It’s working, fat ass.”
“I love you too.” I laughed.
Ray and Bob shook their heads.
“So, Bob, seen any more Barbie movies lately?” I asked, grinning.
“WE DIDN’T SEE BARBIE!!!” Bob and I yelled together.
“I found the ticket.” Ray said cheerfully, holding out Bob’s ticket. “You really should consider disposing of the evidence.”
“Yeah, Bob. At least I threw mine away.”
I laughed at Frankie.
“Oh, shut up. You took me to see Finding Nemo.” Frank pouted. “And you were the one who wanted to see it. ‘I don’t wanna see Scream 3. I wanna see Finding Neeeeeeeeeemo! Frankie, please.’”
Ray laughed.
“And I know damn well you’ve seen Freaky Friday AND Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.” Frank said, pointing at Ray. “The only man in My Chemical Romance is Mikey.”
“Mikey went to watch Lady and the Tramp with your sister.” I pointed out.
“That proves it. We’re all pansies. But I like pansies so it’s all good.”
“Did you really watch those dumb Hilary Duff movies?” Bob asked Ray, eyebrow arched.
“Lindsay Lohan!” Ray snapped, going inside.
Frankie began giggling adorably so I had to attack him with kisses. Bob shuddered playfully and went in.
“Take me now.” Frank dramatically panted.
“Really? Outside?”
“Why the hell not?” Frank said.
“Are you serious?”
“No, that’s Harry’s godfather. I’m Frank. The one who is going to marry Bill Weasley and use him for my sick pleasure.”
“Huh?”
“It’s just that long red hair and—ooh.” Frank groaned. “He’s just sexy.”
“He’s a fictional character. He isn’t even in the movies.”
“All the better to have dreams about, my dear Gerald.”
“My name is Gerard.” I whimpered.
“Oh, that’s right. Sorry, Jerry.” Frank grinned.
I began tickling his sides and we both fell all of the swing.
“Owie. My head hurts.” Frank whimpered, while giggling at the same time.
My eyes widened. I’d fallen on Frankie and his head was bleeding.
“Frankie, stay right here.” I said, standing. How the fuck had I even fallen on him? He should’ve fallen on me.
“Why?” he giggled, raising a head to the back of his hand. He pulled his hand back and looked at his red fingers. “Oh no… that is definitely not good.”
“Stay awake. RAY! BOB! MIKEY!” I shouted.
All three of them ran out.
“Get a towel.” I said. Mikey went off. “Do I get him to the hospital or not?”
“Did you fucking fall on him?” Bob gasped, kneeling by Frank and helping him sit up.
“I tickled him and he started squirming. God, I’m a fucking idiot. Watch you go into a fucking coma.” I moaned, hitting my head with the palm of my hand.
“I feel fine, Gerard.” Frank said. “I didn’t even know until you started freaking out. Honest.”
Mikey came back with a wet towel. “Here, Gee.”
Gerard put the towel to the back of my head. “Someone hold this while I call his doctor or call his doctor for me.”
Ray went to call Frank’s doctor.
“I feel fine. I’m not seeing double or anything, Gerard. You’re freaking out for nothing.”
“I’m not freaking out for nothing! You know what the doctor said!”
“How many times have I fallen since then? Look, I’m fine.” He stood up and began to fall. “Except for that.” He muttered. I had jumped up and caught him at the last second.
“The doctor said to bring him into the doctor’s office and they’ll check him out.” Ray said.
“Okay.” I got Frankie to Bob’s car. Everyone else piled in as well.
“I’m gonna get blood all over your seat Bob. Take my car.” Frank was pleading.
“Quit worrying about the damn seats.” Bob sighed. “We’re taking my car.”
Frankie sighed and relaxed against me, muttering about stupid paranoia and how he was fine.
…
…Two Hours Later…
Frank’s POV
“I’m really not sure.” I heard the doctor telling Gerard. I was half out of it and staring into space. “He can’t seem to concentrate, he can’t stand, but he’s conscious.”
“You got that right.” I muttered.
“Frank, can you see how many fingers I’m holding up?”
“42.” I shrugged, not even bothering to look.
“Frank, don’t be stupid. Listen to the doctor.” Gerard pleaded.
I looked at the man’s hand. “Three.”
“He can see straight.” The doctor said. “He just seems disoriented. I don’t think he needs to be checked into a hospital, but I’m worried. Frank, what’s you’re last name?”
“Which one? My Canada one or my US one?” I asked.
“Your given name.”
“Iero. Did you know my name has ‘eye’ in it? It’s kinda funny because I’ve got two eyes. Did you know that, Gee?”
Gerard didn’t answer me, but continued to talk to the doctor.
“Gee, I’m horny. I need sex now.”
“You aren’t horny, Frank.” Gerard sighed.
“I will be soon.” I insisted.
“But as you can see… he doesn’t seem fit to go home.” The doctor continued.
“I’m fit to go home. I’m not fat! And I can fit through the door.” I insisted. “Hell, I can fit in the dog door. I like it doggy style. Actually, I’ve never had it doggy style. Gee, can we try doggy style tonight?”
“Frankie, please sit still.” Gerard sighed. “Look at him, doctor. He isn’t… he’s in a fucking state, here.”
“All I can do is send him home and put him on bed rest, Mr. Way. I’m sorry.”
Gerard nodded.
“Why are you so snappy and serious, Gee? Be happy.” I piped.
The doctor left so I could change—they had me in one of those icky gowns—and Gerard came to the bed and wrapped his arm around me. “I’m so sorry, babe. If I hadn’t made you fall you wouldn’t be like this.”
“I’m fine, Gerard. Honest. I feel perfectly fine.” I said as he stripped me. “In fact let’s have sex! Doggy style! Right here!”
“Frank, you can’t stand on your own. I’m not going to have sex with you. You aren’t even acting normal.”
“Sure I am.”
“C’mon, Frankie. Let’s get home.”
“Okay… can we have sex there?”
“No.”
“… Fine then…. Will someone else have sex with me?” I asked, cocking my head to one side.
“No.”
“Oh…. Well… can I have sex with me?”
Gerard looked at me, blinking. “Frankie, don’t think, kay?”
I giggled. “Good one. Me, think.”
Gerard’s POV
For a while Frankie only got worse. He was seriously disoriented and found the most random things funny and amazing. While he did look adorable going through this, I was worried. I stayed up all night with him and around four in the morning he began to get back to normal. First he quit giggling over everything. Then he walked himself to the bathroom. He took a while and I did get worried, but he came back down not giggling and acting high but grumbling about there being no toilet paper left.
“Thank God.” I sighed, hugging him.
“Thank God there’s no toilet paper left? I told you to get some today at the store and you forgo—AH!”
I pressed my lips to his, kissing him roughly. He was shocked at first, then kissed back. I gently laid him on the couch and kissed his neck.
“Mmh, Gee…” he arched into me. “I’m sorta tired and my head aches. Oh, wow… Mmmh.”
I kissed up and down his neck, causing him to moan. When I bit down on his pale flesh he winced and hissed lightly, then moaned.
“Mmh, babe. I want to, I do. I just don’t feel great.”
I nodded and sat up. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Frank grinned at me. “But tomorrow can we try it doggy style? Pur-leeeeease?”
“Maybe.” I laughed.
“YAY!” he clapped.
Frank’s POV
A month later…
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! THAT’S WHAT I’D FUCKING LIKE TO KNOW!”
“It’s just hair, Frank.” Gerard said calmly.
“JUST HAIR? YOU FUCKING—I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT! DID MIKEY DYE IT? DID HE?”
“Yes.” Gerard sighed.
“WHY!!!!???? WHY?!”
“You dye your hair all the time.” Gerard pointed out.
“NOT PLATINUM BLONDE! AND WHEN I DO IT LOOKS GOOD! NOT LIKE THE FUCKING SUN TOOK A REST ON MY GODDAMN HEAD!”
“Frank, honestly… baby, I’m still me. It’s hair color.”
“IT’S BLONDE! GERARD, IT’S BLONDE!” I shouted.
“Do you want me to dye it back? Is that it?”
“YES! Please, God, yes!”
“Well too bad. I like it.”
“You like it?” I couldn’t help but scoff. “Are you HIGH?”
Gerard rolled his eyes and sat on our couch. He looked so weird. I felt uncomfortable around him, like he was a stranger. Oh, man…. Was he gonna pay for this. I’m gonna pay him back…. I really am, buddy….
“No, I’m not high.” He snapped.
“What is it with you? You’re acting like Billie Joe. First you cut your hair, after he does. Then you grow it out, after he does. And then, great God’s almighty balls, you DYE IT BLONDE!”
“I am not copying Billie Joe.” He muttered, crossing his hands over his chest. “I needed change.”
“I’m gonna kill your brother for dyeing it.” I said, shaking my head. “Then I’m gonna kill you, bury you, dig you up, clone you, and kill all your little blonde clones.”
“Frank, honestly.”
“Change is… a trim. A new shirt. A new pair of sunglasses. Not dying your beautiful silky black hair BLONDE!” I let out a wail of despair.
“Oh, Frank. It’ll come out eventually.”
“Tell me I’m on Punk’d and you’re wearing a wig, Gee. Please.”
“Frankie, it isn’t that bad. When I first saw it I was… a little put off. But now I like it.”
“That’s because you’re obviously still high from all those years doing crack.” I grumbled.
“That was uncalled for.” Gerard sighed, going to sit by me on our chair. He pulled me into his arms.
“Why, Gee? Why?” I whimpered.
“Is it that bad, honestly?”
“Yes.” I moaned, laying my head on his shoulder. “All I have of you is my memories.”
“Oh, Frank.” Gerard laughed.
“No. It’s over. I cannot see a blonde man.”
“Last year your hair was blonde, brown, and red.” He pointed out.
“Well it looked good on me. You look like a fucking lemonhead or something. I don’t even know what you look like. It’s too bright to stare at to figure out, really.”
Gerard let out another sigh.
“I’m gonna dye my whole fucking head neon green and see how you like it, Mr. Lemonhead.”
“I won’t be as mean to you as you are to me!” he called as I stood and stomped from the room.
“And don’t think you’re getting any sex until its black, buddy!” I called.
I heard muttering, but couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“And don’t forget to clean the hamster cage. It’s starting to smell.” I added, and then disappeared into our bedroom.
He came in a few hours later, when I was in my pajamas and lying in bed half asleep.
“Are you asleep?” he whispered, getting into bed.
“If you’re still blonde, yes.” I muttered.
He pressed a kiss to my cheek and slid his arms around my waist. “I didn’t like you cutting your hair off before you died it blonde too much either, you know.”
“But it was sexy when I did it.” I whispered, half asleep.
“You haven’t even given it a full day.”
“I hate it.”
“I hate your hair short.”
“My hair is short now!”
“Exactly.” Gerard cuddled up to me. “Night, babe.”
“What do you mean, you hate my hair short?” I asked, sitting up.
“I just don’t like it much. I like it longer.”
“I’m gonna grow dreads then! See how you like that!”
“Who are you kidding, Frank?” he snorted. “You wouldn’t do that to your hair even if you did want to get back at me.”
“What?” I scoffed. “I wouldn’t?”
“No, you wouldn’t. Because it would look terrible.”
“Go look in the mirror, babe.” I glared.
“Look, you wouldn’t grow dreads because it’d look awful and you don’t like dreads.”
“Green dreads!” I cried. “They’re gonna be neon fucking green!”
“Okay, Frank. We’ll see.” He said, pulling me down next to him. “Now go to sleep so we can wake up in the morning and have some sex.”
“Doggy style?” I asked. I still hadn’t got my doggy style sex yet.
“Maybe.”
For five minutes we lay in silence. Gerard was just beginning to drift off when I muttered “I still hate your hair.”
His eyes snapped open and he blinked at me, then sighed and rolled over.
“Heh heh heh.” I cackled, lying down and falling asleep. So I may not really grow green dreads. I had scared the shit out of him. One point: Frankie.
Gerard’s POV
I guess that’s what I get for marrying a younger guy. Over the next few days he did quit complaining about my hair, but it was still obvious he hated it.
So I had two choices. Make the man I love happy and either strip the color or dye my hair black or make myself happy and keep the blonde.
I mean, it’s not like I’ll be UNHAPPY with black hair. I like the blonde. But Frankie doesn’t.
He needs to get over it.
Maybe I should have told him first. It was kind of mean to just go out to Ray’s with Mikey and come back platinum blonde.
You know what’s funny though? It’s a 10 wash dye. It’ll be out soon. So now I must make the choice to dye it permanently or make Frank happy. He, of course, thinks it’s permanent. That’s the only reason he’s surrendered fighting for the cause of my black hair. I did hear him complaining to his mom though.
Plus, I think he was serious with what he said the other day about taking drastic measures. I don’t know what’s he’s got planned. Maybe that is the plan, making me wonder if he has a plan.
I went into our living room to find Frankie reading The Shining.
“Hey, babe.” I said. I hadn’t been home all day because I’d gone to discuss something with our band manager. I probably shouldn’t have. It was underhanded. Something else I should have talked to Frankie about first. I was asking, just hypothetically, if there was any way we could have a kid on a tour without hiring a full time nanny or whatever.
He looked up. “Hi.” He smiled.
I sat down by him and he fingered my hair, sighing. “I am getting used to it, I suppose…” he said, more to himself than me.
I grinned and kissed him. “How much do you love me right now? A ‘Oh my god, I LOVE you so much!’ or a ‘I’m married and stuck with you. What more do you want?’”
He rolled his green eyes. “I suppose the first one. Why?”
“Because I’ve got something to ask you again and I want to ask at the right time.”
“We’re already married.” He laughed, climbing onto my lap. “And 5 hamsters is enough. Speaking of hamsters, though, did you hear about the guy in New York who turned his house into a big hamster cage? I mean, seriously, Gee. He had a wheel and everything. It was wild. I saw it on the news.”
I smiled at Frank. Sometimes he could be so adorable. “Well, babe… I was wondering how you felt about adopting now that it’s been a while.”
Frank looked at me and his smile faltered a bit. “I—I don’t… Why don’t you ask me when you’re hair is black?”
“Frankie, can I have an honest answer now?”
Frank sighed and nuzzled me. “You said I was kid enough.”
I smiled and ran my hand up and down his back. “You are, Frankie.”
“We’re going on tour soon, baby…”
“Don’t get mad but I asked Brian how it would work, if we were to adopt. He said that there will be people to watch the kid during sound checks and concerts and shit. Hairdressers, runners, even Brian said he could backstage in dressing rooms. And we could obviously keep it on the bus with us… it might be a little interesting, but interesting is good.”
“Gee, I told you… what about Bert? And people doing drugs and alcohol?”
“If we adopt a baby I seriously doubt My Chemical Romance will be around long enough for the baby to be exposed to that as a teen or whatever. I mean, realistically My Chemical Romance isn’t always gonna be our thing. Soon it’ll just be… a regular lifestyle.”
Frank frowned.
“And Bert… baby, if I have anything to say about it you will never be in on any tour with him. Brian knows what happened and he said he’d watch out for The Used to make sure we aren’t booked together or anything.”
Frank nodded.
“I think we can do this… won’t you please say something?”
“I don’t know, Gerard. I want kids… but… I mean… wouldn’t it be smarter to wait until My Chemical Romance is done? It’s like you said. My Chemical Romance won’t be around forever and we’re young.”
“I want this now, Frankie… if this is about it being inconvenient or you thinking it’s stupid male dominance it isn’t. I want a kid. I want to have a baby with you.” I said, pressing my lips to his.
He kissed back, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek. We pulled away and he nodded, smiling.
“Okay. Let’s do this.”
“Really?” I asked excitedly.
“Yeah. I already called around and it looks like it’ll be easier to move back to Canada for a while, get the kid, then move back to America. The tour will have to be postponed—.”
“We aren’t ready yet anyw— called around?”
“I’ve been… thinking about this a lot too, Gee.” He admitted, looking sheepish.
“I love you so much, Frank.”
“I love you too, Gee.”
Gerard's POV
Two Weeks Later...
"I'm sorry, sir. We can't allow you to adopt."
My eyes widened. "W-what?"
"When we spoke on the phone I wish I had known your history. I simply cannot allow you and your husband to adopt."
I stared at the woman.
"Drug addiction, alcoholism, suicide attempts... I'm sorry, Mr. Way. Maybe in five years--."
"Five years?" Frank asked hoarsely.
"I'm sorry. I wish you'd told me rather than hide it from me. Besides, do you really believe your life style is fit to raise a child? Maybe you can look into adoption in the states or you could find a surrogate."
"There's.... nothing we can do? No stupid classes? No drug tests? That was a long time ago."
"With respect, sir, the self induced coma was three years ago. You've battled several addictions. You're clinically depressed--."
"I see therapists. I'm not on drugs and I don't drink anymore." I exclaimed.
"I'm sorry." the woman sighed. "There's really nothing I can do. You could try another agency."
"Fine." Frank stood and stormed out.
"Bye." I ran after Frankie.
Gerard's POV
"Frankie, would you wait up?" I called, following Frank to the car.
When I caught up to him he was sniffling, tears pouring down his face.
"We'll try somewhere else, babe." I whispered, pulling him to my chest.
"No one's gonna let us because I was fucking stupid and tried to kill myself. You should just go marry someone who doesn't have as much problems and then you can have your kids."
"It's my drug and alcohol addiction, not your coma."
"At least you didn't try to kill yourself." he wailed.
"Frankie, baby... we will find a way, okay? Even if we have to get a surrogate we will find a way."
He nodded into my chest, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Gee."
"I'm sorry too, baby. But we're gonna make it work."
He nodded into my chest again. "Do you promise?"
"Mhmm." I kissed the top of his head lovingly. "I promise."
Frank’s POV
Later That Same Day…
We had an appointment at another Canadian adoption agency in two days and I was at the store, mainly because we were out of Skittles. I mean, who gives a fuck if there is no milk or soda or food period? Let’s be honest, I’m in it for the Skittles.
I immediately went down to the candy aisle. There was only a woman with a whiny child and a young woman with dark hair on the aisle. I had never been to this store before so I wasn’t sure where the Skittles were. All I knew was there had better be some or SOMEONE was going to be in some serious trouble.
I finally found them and, struggling to hold in a squeal of delight, reached for them. There was one bag left and it was mine, all MINE.
Or I thought it was. The young woman had reached out at the same time and had grasped the beg before I could.
“Oh, sorry.” She said.
I looked at her in shock. She was right at my height and had deep brown eyes and streaks of neon blue in her hair, with a lip ring.
“Oh, it’s okay.” I said.
‘Give me the skittles… there’s only one bag, bitch… there mine… they are mine!’
She grinned at me, put the Skittles in her cart, and left.
WITH MY SKITTLES!
First they tell me I’m unfit to be a parent, then they take my fucking skittles! Honestly, what kind of world is this?
“M-my skittles.” I whimpered, stomping my foot. I turned to find Gerard behind me. “She took my skittles, Gee.”
“Who?” Gerard looked behind me.
“That evil and twisted woman back there. She left.”
“Oh, baby.” Gerard hugged me. “We’ll stop at a gas station on the way home. Let’s get the groceries, okay?”
We walked down the aisles silently. Both of us were still messed up about our news earlier. I know Gee promised it would work out eventually, but I couldn’t help but think something would go terribly wrong. Something ALWAYS went terribly wrong.
I felt Gerard’s hand rubbing circles on my back when we waited in a long ass line. I sighed and leaned against him, hands still on the cart.
“It’s going to work out, Frankie. We’ll find a way to get a baby.”
I nodded and sighed again.
“Everything will work out.” He whispered, still rubbing my back. We moved forward in line and I sighed, turning to face him.
“You can’t promise that, Gee, because society is fucked up. They’ll let people you beat and rape little kids adopt but will they let us? No.”
“We can look into surrogate mothers.” Gerard whispered.
“We shouldn’t have to! There are already thousands of fucking babies in those nasty shelters with no home!”
Gerard wrapped me in a tight hug.
“It isn’t fair, Gee.” I whimpered. “And I didn’t even get my Skittles.”
Gerard laughed quietly and tightened his grip on me.
Two Days Later…
Gerard’s POV
“YOU!” Frank hissed.
We had just sat down in the waiting room at the adoption agency and Frank was pointing accusingly at two young women. One was short with dark hair and blue streaks. The other had short blonde hair with black streaks.
Both women arched their eyebrows.
“You took my Skittles!”
“Erm…” the woman with dark hair said.
“You took the last bag in all of bloody Canada! Do you know how many places I went looking? And did I find any? No! Those should have been MINE!”
“Frank!” I whispered.
“Uhm… I’ll give you two bags?” the woman asked.
“I wanted THAT bag!” Frank snapped.
“Well that bag is long gone.” She said. “Sorry.”
“Took my skittles.” Frank muttered, slouching in his chair.
I rolled my eyes and shifted. The room was now silent, bar the “drip” some stupid fish tank was making. My hamsters were better. Francesca, Skippy, Lucius, and Christina Ricci Jr. included.
Don’t ask, okay? Don’t even fucking ask.
Yes, I named it after Christina Ricci. I happen to like her, thank you.
And no, I’m not still stalking her.
And yes, only because I no longer live near her.
But I won’t let the social workers here know that. They already think Frank is some weird Skittle psycho. Plus, face it. The odds are against us here.
An Hour Later…
“You have to understand that… taking your history into account…”
I couldn’t even bare to look at Frank, who I knew was probably already either crying or getting ready to because he was balling his fists.
“We don’t do drugs, we don’t drink, we don’t try to kill ourselves. We just want a baby.” I said. I tried to take Frank’s hand but he wouldn’t let me, burying both of his hands in his jacket pocket.
“I believe you, sir. Maybe in a few years—.”
“We’ve heard this.” Frank sighed, sniffling. “But we don’t want to wait five years. We want a baby now.”
“I’m going to give you the number to our surrogate mothers branch. It’s on the first floor.” The woman began scribbling something down. “I am very sorry, both of you. I believe you would make good parents… it’s just… the system sucks. I hope both of you find your baby.”
I took the slip of paper from her. “Thanks anyway.”
We went out. This time Frank didn’t run off, but walked by me. Outside of the building he once again collapsed into tears. “We’re never gonna get a baby, Gerard.”
“We are, baby.” I whispered, pulling him close to me. I kissed his forehead and stroked his hair, whispering soothing words. I was ignoring the two girls from the waiting room earlier, who were smoking a little bit down and watching us curiously.
I led Frank to our car across from them and opened the door. He got into the passenger seat, angrily wiping his eyes. I noticed the girls going back into the building out of the corner of my eye.
I shrugged it off and got in the car, sighing deeply. Maybe Frankie was right and we would never get a baby.
Frank’s POV
Two More Days Later…
My cell phone was ringing for the third time and I stared at it blankly. I had no idea who the number was, but they seemed insistent on talking to me. I was just moping on the couch so decided to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Is this Frank or Gerard?” A woman’s voice asked.
“Uh, yeah.” I said, turning the TV off.
“This is Sharon from the adoption agency. I’m not sure if you remembered to call the number I gave you.”
I glanced at it sitting on the coffee table where Gee had left it. He was outside sitting now, probably smoking.
“But if you are interested we have two surrogates who are willing to carry your baby.”
“W-what?” I asked. “Did my husband call you?”
“ No. Actually they overheard you and your husband and approach my colleague about it. We haven’t given them your name, number, or anything. I just wanted to let you know that if you were interested…”
“But why would anyone just… ask to do that?”
“Apparently they feel the need to do this for you.”
“I… I’ll talk to Gerard and we’ll call you back.” I said, kind of shaking. Well, my hand was.
“Okay, goodbye.”
“Yeah, bye.” I hung up. “Gee! Gerard!”
He walked in, running a hand through his hair. The color had faded to a light brown by now. It was slowly but surely turning back to black. Thank God.
“What, baby?”
“The agency just called.”
“They’re letting us adopt?” he asked.
I frowned and shook my head.
“Then what the fuck did they want?” he snapped.
“Someone wants to be our surrogate mom. Apparently they heard us talking or some shit.” I shrugged. “But anyway… they’re interested and I told the lady we’d call her back.”
Gerard’s eyes were wide as he sat by me. “Do we do it or try to adopt?”
“I don’t know.” I whispered. “We could go for it… because I don’t think any adoption agency in their right mind would let us adopt.”
“Frank—.”
“No, it’s true. We don’t have the best past in the world. We can wait five years or go meet these ladies.”
“Let’s go meet them.” Gerard whispered.
I handed him the phone, smiling. “Okay.”
…
…
“So why were you even there?” Gerard asked the girls curiously. We had met the two women interested and it turns out it was Evil Skittle Stealing Bitch and her girlfriend. Their real names are Evil Skittle Stealing Bitch and Samantha.
Okay, Athena and Samantha. But she is an evil skittle stealing bitch.
Even if she brought me two bags, like she promised.
“We wanted to adopt.” Samantha said, sitting in the booth of a restaurant. We’d briefly discussed plans for surrogacy pregnancies, then decided to go out for lunch.
“So why are you going to carry a baby for us?” I asked.
“Because you want one.” Athena said.
“Why not have a sperm donor and carry your own baby?” I asked curiously.
“Because we wanted to adopt.” Samantha answered me, smiling.
“Fair enough.”
“Can I take your order?” A waitress came up.
“I want a salad.” Athena said. (A/N: Hahaha, Athena. When you read this I hope you crack up. Salads are so nasty. They taste like leaves. Blugh!!!)
“She’s vegetarian.” Samantha muttered to Gerard and me.
“I want a salad too.” I chirped.
“So is he.” Gerard whispered back.
“I like meat.” Samantha said.
“Me too.” Gerard whispered back. “But shh, Their innocent ears can’t take it.”
“Athena? Innocent ears? You really don’t know us at all yet.”
“Yeah well you think Frankie’s a cute short guy.”
“He is.” Samantha pointed out.
“But he’s evil.” he whispered.
“Hey, I’m not evil! Only that one time when you said we’d fuck doggy style and we didn’t!” I pouted adorably at Gerard.
Samantha began giggling. “You’re pretty wild, huh?”
“Not in bed, apparently.” Athena muttered. “What kind of gay guys haven’t had doggy style sex before?”
“We aren’t animals.” I pouted.
“You’re the one wanting it doggy style.” Athena pointed out.
“Hey, don’t pick on me. Just because I’m short—.”
“I’m your height.”
“Technicalities….” I muttered and they all laughed.
“So… whose sperm and whose egg?” Samantha suddenly asked.
“Uhm…” I looked at Gee.
“We hadn’t gotten that far yet, actually.” Gerard said.
Our food came (haha. I hadn’t even noticed Gerard and the other girl order.) and we began to eat, discussing plans.
“So I guess we’ll hold off on the tour until then.” I said.
“Tour?” Athena asked.
“Oh, yeah. We’re in a band.”
“Oh…” Samantha said. “Cool… which one?”
“My Chemical Romance.” I said happily.
“No fucking way!” Athena gasped. “How the fuck did I not know? Wait, but you’re, like, blonde! Where did your long black hair go?”
“He cut it and dyed it blonde.” I muttered.
“Well, obviously. And you look different too… your hair grew back out!”
“I’m guessing you know My Chemical Romance?” Samantha asked.
“We were going to go to their concert but it got canceled.” Athena said. “Remember?”
“Oh, yeah. You got pissed because they didn’t reschedule.”
Athena nodded, looking like I look when I’m hyper.
The rest of the dinner we didn’t talk about the surrogacy plans much. We mainly just hung out and got to know each other. The longer I was around them the more I liked them. Even evil Skittle stealing bitch.
Around nine Samantha let out a yawn, sending a chain reaction through out the table. Everyone laughed, then I crawled out of the bunk.
“We’ll call you soon to make an appointment at the agency?” Athena asked.
“Okay. We’ll have our cell on.” Gerard also got out of the bunk. I was yawning again and he smiled at me, looking sexy. I think I died a little. Or maybe it just made me sleepier. “I should get him home.”
“Bye, guys!” The girls called.
We waved, then headed to the car. Eventually we arrived home and I collapsed on our bed, Gerard next to me.
“They’re nice.” He said, facing me.
“Yeah.” I nodded, yawning again.
“It’s only nine thirty, baby. You go to bed earlier every day.”
“I’m saving up energy for the tour.” I laughed.
He laughed too and stripped me of my clothes. “It’s too early for that. And plus, we’ve gotta celebrate.”
“We do?” I asked, grinning. “Does that mean we get to try it doggy style? Finally?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” I nodded eagerly, taking off his clothes as well. “C’mon, buddy. I’ve been waiting for this.”
Gerard grinned at me. “Princess Frankie shall wait no longer.”
Frank's POV
"I liked them." Gerard said.
"Well I didn't."
"You're just mad she took the skittles."
"No, I'm not."
"You are." Gerard said, rolling his eyes. "She gave you two bags so you have to get over it."
"They weren't cool enough."
"They... weren't cool enough?"
"Nope. And one was blonde. If we get a blonde kid it's gonna lead to tons of questions--."
"Frank, you're putting too much thought into this. If you don't want to have a surrogate tell me and we will pointlessly move to the USA."
"No one in their right mind would let me adopt." I sighed.
Truth be told, I wasn't comfortable with the surrogacy idea. I mean... what if they decide they want to keep the baby? My baby. What if they want us to give up our rights? I mean, we don't know them. We don't know what kind of people they are.
But Gerard thinks they're all high and mighty because they offered.
"I'm worried." I muttered, lying on our couch. I'd had a few days to get used to the idea and I just wasn't sure... maybe if the surrogate was someone we knew... someone we trusted. I think Bob's got a sister...
No. You don't know her.
I sighed again. "Everything goes wrong, Gee. Everything. And this is something big to go wrong. Remember Mikey when his baby died? If something happens... that's how we'll be. That depressed, that sad, that angry..."
"Everything will be fine. You're just a pessimist."
"Everything is never fine."
"It always is eventually."
"Gerard, I don't know if I like this."
"You're just nervous. Look, it'll be fine."
"You've said that a million times and it just makes me feel worse about this, so stop." I snapped.
"We can't adopt, okay? We've got a bad past. It sucks, but that's all there is to it."
I glared and stomped off. "I STILL DON'T LIKE THEM!"
Gerard's POV
Frank stomped off, yelling he still didn't like the people. I sighed, knowing I shouldn't have brought up the adoption agency thing. But it was true and Frank seemed to think we could still adopt. When we couldn't, at least now.
He's just paranoid or something right now. I don't know why, because the people seemed nice enough. They were cool enough too because they liked My Chem which makes them VERY cool. Very cool indeed because that means they like me and we all know I am the shit.
I sighed, figuring I should go after him. I followed him into our room and he was angrily playing his new guitar. It was a green one like Billie Joe's. He'd always wanted one and finally went to get on a few days ago.
"Frank, they seem like okay people. I know you're worried but... don't be."
"You want to put something as important as this in the hands of two complete strangers?" he exclaimed, looking up from his guitar.
"Yes because I want a baby and this is the only way we're going to get one unless you plan to shove one out your ass."
"Gerard... who says they aren't doing this because we're celebrities? What if they want us to pay them some outrageous amount of money... Or... I don't know!"
"We'll pay them whatever they want because this is a child-- our child! I'd give anything for a baby, Frankie!"
"I know you would, Gee!" Frank exclaimed. "I just think it's gonna go wrong, okay? Maybe I'm just scared, but maybe I'm right."
"You're wrong. Can we please just go to the agency and sign the papers?"
Frank sighed and chewed at his lip, then fingered his lip ring nervously. That had become a new habit of his.
"Yes." he finally whispered, looking defeated. He gave a very forced smile.
"It'll be fine, you'll see!" I said excitedly. "I'll go call the worker now!"
Frank's POV
I watched him happily run out of the room to find his phone. I swallowed the sob threatening to come. I just knew this was going to go wrong and Gee was clueless.... Completely and utterly clueless.
Gerard’s POV
A few months later…
It was a month before the artificial insemination and I think Frank was less worried by the fact that ‘two complete strangers’ were carrying out baby. Athena, the dark haired and short one, was carrying our baby and I had donated the sperm.
Now Athena is five months along and showing. My Chemical Romance has put out our next album but obviously there is no touring. At least yet. That left our fans in a bit of an uproar, all of them apparently convinced we were quitting. Which we weren’t, as far as I knew.
“You really don’t have to pay for all of this.” Samantha said as I hauled in groceries.
“I want to.” I insisted. “When is her doctors appointment?”
“It’s in a while.” Samantha shrugged, sitting on the couch.
“Well….” I smiled. “Call us when you get back and let us know?”
“Okay, Gerard. Tell Pretty Boy I said hi.” Athena said, coming in.
I nodded. “Will do. Bye guys.”
Frank’s POV
Athena was eight months into her pregnancy when Gerard and I were called in for a meeting with the agency. We assumed it was custom and went, thinking nothing was wrong.
When we got there, though, neither Athena nor Samantha were there.
“We’re here to see Shannon.” Gee said.
We were led into a room when our worker, Sharon, sighed. “Boys, have a seat.”
I sat down, suddenly feeling like I was walking to my death. What was going on?
“Athena and her husband have decided to keep the baby.”
Gerard’s eyes widened. “What? Can she do that?”
Shannon nodded and passed me a paper. I stared at it. Signed in black ink at the bottom were two signatures next to each other.
Athena and Bert McCracken.
Gerard’s POV
“Don’t you see now?” Frank shouted angrily at me outside of our car. “He had this fucking planned! She was his fucking wife! He’s probably hidden in the bushes laughing his ass of right now!”
“How was I supposed to know? They said Samantha was her girlfriend… I….”
“NO! I told you something was going to fucking happen and you didn’t listen! Now we’re never going to have kids!” Frank threw the car door open and got in, slamming it behind him.
I blinked back tears and got into the driver’s seat, hearing Frank quietly sniffling.
“Frankie—.” I began.
“Don’t, Gerard. Just don’t.”
“I didn’t want this to fucking happen!” I suddenly shouted. I didn’t mean to, it just came. I was trying to be calm here but I couldn’t take it. I’d wanted that baby so badly. It was a girl.
“I know you didn’t but you don’t fucking listen!” Frank sobbed. “Just get me home.”
Frank’s POV
“You don’t fucking listen! Just get me home.” I whimpered.
Gerard began driving quickly, like he couldn’t even stand to be in the car with me. Which is unfair because I warned him… I told him we’d get hurt… and he didn’t fucking listen.
“Gerard, slow down.” I said as we almost rammed head first into a car. He ignored me. “GERARD SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!”
He stepped on the gas and I slapped him and grabbed the wheel. But I was too late because we collided with a car, throwing me into the door.
“Frankie, are you okay?” I heard him shout as everything went black.\
Five Months Later…
“All she does is complain, complain, complain.” Mikey ranted, downing nearly a whole bottle of beer. “If it isn’t one thing it’s another.” He sighed, leaning back against mine and Frank’s couch.
“Aren’t you happy? I mean, you’ve got a kid coming in, what, a month a half?” I asked.
Mikey shrugged.
“I mean, I’d love to have a kid. Frankie doesn’t want one.”
“Why not?”
“Too difficult to go into. He’s got a logical reason, though. He just isn’t ready. He doesn’t think we’re ready, too.”
Mikey nodded. “Want mine?”
I rolled my eyes. “Mikey, you act like this is some terrible thing.”
“It isn’t.” Mikey sighed. “I just wasn’t ready for this.”
“Then you shouldn’t have fucked her.” I shrugged.
“I know that and I don’t resent the kid or anything… I’m just not ready yet.”
“Well you’re gonna have to get ready.” I said, looking at him.
He sighed and nodded. “I know. Everything is gonna be different and I don’t know ANYTHING about kids.”
“You’ll know when it’s born.” I said. “It’s like, father’s intuition or something. You’re just gonna know. Instinct.”
Mikey nodded and slumped back.
“You can do this.” I said.
He shook his head, exhaling. “We’ll see in two months time, huh?”
“Guess we will.” I said, finishing off my Diet Coke.
Frank’s POV
Our next album had been postponed because of Mikey and Alicia’s baby.
“I doubt it’ll even come out.” Gerard had told me when he’d told me the news.
I sighed and sat on mine and Gee’s bed, leaning against the pillows. I was biting my fingernails and thinking. I was nervous for Mikey and it got worse as the due date got closer. It was now just short of two months away until this baby was due and things looked…. Well… interesting. Mikey seemed to accept that he was going to be a dad, but it was like he wasn’t expecting it. Like he expected the baby to just disappear one day or something.
I hope he gets a reality check because this isn’t some guitar. It’s a kid and he doesn’t seem to be taking this seriously.
Almost Two Months Later…
Gerard’s POV
On March 25th at three in the morning we got the call that Alicia had gone into labor. Everyone rushed to the hospital and sat in the waiting room. Frankie and I were curled on this small couch while Brian, Ray, Bob, and Ray’s new girlfriend played cards.
Mikey was back with Alicia but came back every once in a while to tell us what was going on. Mikey was now excited to be a dad. He’d read books and was eagerly awaiting the birth of his baby.
I was happy for him, though I did wish I could have kids of my own. I knew Frank was warming up to the idea though because he was looking at the unisex outfits we’d bought for Mikey’s baby (they wanted the sex to be a surprise.) with a weird smile on his face.
We’d been in the waiting room for five hours when Mikey came out. He didn’t look like I’d expected him to look.
“Mikey?” I asked.
“It… was a girl.” He said in a monotone voice.
“Yes! A girl!” Ray clapped Mikey on the back.
“She was stillborn.” Mikey whispered.
The room, which had been filled with cheers, fell silent. I moved forward to hug Mikey and he began to cry into my chest.
“It’s okay.” I whispered in his ear, rubbing his back.
“It isn’t okay.” He sobbed. “She’s gone.”
Frank’s POV
It was awful, watching Mikey suffer. Even though at the beginning he hadn’t wanted this baby it was obvious he was suffering and he felt guilty.
“I was so bitter when Alicia told me. I guess I got what I originally wanted, right?” I had heard Mikey sobbing to Gerard a few days after the stillborn delivery. “I never wanted that damn baby anyway! She was gonna be nothing but trouble!”
Mikey said stuff like this all of the time, blaming himself because he hadn’t accepted it in the beginning. Every letter he got from fans seemed to make him angrier than before, and that was nothing compared to the letter from Alicia’s parents.
They were gonna get married. Alicia called it off.
They were gonna move in together. Alicia called it off.
They were going to be together forever. Alicia called it off.
So Mikey didn’t only lose a baby girl, but his girlfriend too.
Gerard didn’t trust Mikey to be on his own, so Mikey moved in with us. He stayed in the guest room and when I say he stated in the guest room I mean it literally. As in he hardly ever left.
It seemed like a terrible dream. All of the baby stuff was packed in boxes for charity and waiting in the living room for the trucks. I couldn’t help but stare at them, feeling a sense of longing. Why had this happened? Mikey didn’t deserve this. He was a good person.
“Hey, Frankie.”
I looked up to see Gerard.
“Hi.” I smiled sadly at him.
He sat by me and looked at the boxes with me.
“Is Mikey gonna be okay? He won’t really talk to me.”
“He’ll be fine.” Gerard said. “He just needs a bit.”
I nodded and laid my head on Gerard’s chest, squeezing his hand.
“He’ll pull through this.”
A Few Hours Later
Still Frankie’s POV
Gerard had gone to get groceries after the people came for the charity and I decided to try and talk to Mikey. I knew it would probably be a wasted attempt, but I had to try. After all, he helped me and Gerard get back together. Maybe I couldn’t help him and Alicia get back together, but I could try to make him feel a little better.
I crept into his room and he was laying, staring at the ceiling.
“Mikey?” I whispered.
He looked at me, tears brimming his hazel eyes. He wiped his eyes, sliding his index finer under his glasses, and then sniffed. “Yeah?”
“Are you… okay?”
“No.” He sighed, scooting over. I sat down by him and we curled together. “I wanted her. I may have acted like I didn’t want a baby but I did.” He whispered. “Everyone must think I’m this awful person, Frank, but I was scared… I didn’t want her to d-die. I never wanted that.”
“Everyone knows you were scared and no one thinks you wanted her to die.” I assured him, rubbing his back.
He shook his head. “This is my fault… for…. I don’t know. What did I do to deserve this?”
“Mikey, it happens a lot. It sucks, but it does. Remember, that’s what you told me about rapists being let free? Well, it applies here too. Babies are born stillborn and it sucks, but it happens…. We can’t stop it… we can only hope that next time it doesn’t.”
Mikey nodded, wiping his eyes again. “I wanted her, Frankie.” He collapsed into sobs, shoulders shaking.
I held him close. “I know, Mikey. I know, babe. I know.”
He sobbed hysterically until he couldn’t cry anymore and then he just laid against me, sniffling.
“It can only get better, right?” he finally sniffed. “I mean, I’ve lost Alicia and the baby. What worse can happen?”
“When you hit the bottom there’s no place to go but up.”
Mikey nodded. “Thanks, Frankie.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Gerard’s POV
It did take Mikey a while, but slowly he began to return to normal. After three weeks he was at the stage where he was going out with everyone and was able to enjoy himself.
Living with Mikey was definitely different. Not just because he was overcoming this huge tragedy in his life, but because I was once again living with my baby brother. It was weird. Sort of like when we were teenagers. Sometimes Mikey would sleep in until like three in the middle of the day. Other days I’d wake up at four to go to the bathroom and he’d be in the kitchen, just staring at the table. I never approached him when he was like that, zoned out, because I figured he needed it.
Now the guys were talking about band practices. I guess it’ll give Mikey something to do but I’m not sure. I think it’s too early. But everyone keeps assuring me it isn’t and that everyone needs this.
I got home from the store one day (How come I’m always the one who goes to the store? Well, Frank can’t reach everything, I suppose… hahaha.) and found Frank sitting on our porch swing. He gave me a big grin when I came up the steps.
“Gonna help?”
“Nah, it’s much sexier when you carry groceries in alone.”
I rolled my eyes at him and heaved him up.
We hauled the groceries in, and then he went back to the porch. I checked on Mikey who was napping on the couch, then went and pounced on Frank, almost knocking the swing into the house.
Frank giggled and laid down on the swing, pulling me on top of him.
“I love you.” He whispered, kissing me.
“I love you too.” I kissed him back, snuggling up to him.
We snuggled together, squished, on the swing. A car pulled into the driveway and soon Ray and Bob walked up.
“Hello.” Frank said, sounding squished and squeaky.
“Hi. Are you trying to smother him?”
“It’s a new sex position.” I said, nodding knowingly.
“It’s working, fat ass.”
“I love you too.” I laughed.
Ray and Bob shook their heads.
“So, Bob, seen any more Barbie movies lately?” I asked, grinning.
“WE DIDN’T SEE BARBIE!!!” Bob and I yelled together.
“I found the ticket.” Ray said cheerfully, holding out Bob’s ticket. “You really should consider disposing of the evidence.”
“Yeah, Bob. At least I threw mine away.”
I laughed at Frankie.
“Oh, shut up. You took me to see Finding Nemo.” Frank pouted. “And you were the one who wanted to see it. ‘I don’t wanna see Scream 3. I wanna see Finding Neeeeeeeeeemo! Frankie, please.’”
Ray laughed.
“And I know damn well you’ve seen Freaky Friday AND Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.” Frank said, pointing at Ray. “The only man in My Chemical Romance is Mikey.”
“Mikey went to watch Lady and the Tramp with your sister.” I pointed out.
“That proves it. We’re all pansies. But I like pansies so it’s all good.”
“Did you really watch those dumb Hilary Duff movies?” Bob asked Ray, eyebrow arched.
“Lindsay Lohan!” Ray snapped, going inside.
Frankie began giggling adorably so I had to attack him with kisses. Bob shuddered playfully and went in.
“Take me now.” Frank dramatically panted.
“Really? Outside?”
“Why the hell not?” Frank said.
“Are you serious?”
“No, that’s Harry’s godfather. I’m Frank. The one who is going to marry Bill Weasley and use him for my sick pleasure.”
“Huh?”
“It’s just that long red hair and—ooh.” Frank groaned. “He’s just sexy.”
“He’s a fictional character. He isn’t even in the movies.”
“All the better to have dreams about, my dear Gerald.”
“My name is Gerard.” I whimpered.
“Oh, that’s right. Sorry, Jerry.” Frank grinned.
I began tickling his sides and we both fell all of the swing.
“Owie. My head hurts.” Frank whimpered, while giggling at the same time.
My eyes widened. I’d fallen on Frankie and his head was bleeding.
“Frankie, stay right here.” I said, standing. How the fuck had I even fallen on him? He should’ve fallen on me.
“Why?” he giggled, raising a head to the back of his hand. He pulled his hand back and looked at his red fingers. “Oh no… that is definitely not good.”
“Stay awake. RAY! BOB! MIKEY!” I shouted.
All three of them ran out.
“Get a towel.” I said. Mikey went off. “Do I get him to the hospital or not?”
“Did you fucking fall on him?” Bob gasped, kneeling by Frank and helping him sit up.
“I tickled him and he started squirming. God, I’m a fucking idiot. Watch you go into a fucking coma.” I moaned, hitting my head with the palm of my hand.
“I feel fine, Gerard.” Frank said. “I didn’t even know until you started freaking out. Honest.”
Mikey came back with a wet towel. “Here, Gee.”
Gerard put the towel to the back of my head. “Someone hold this while I call his doctor or call his doctor for me.”
Ray went to call Frank’s doctor.
“I feel fine. I’m not seeing double or anything, Gerard. You’re freaking out for nothing.”
“I’m not freaking out for nothing! You know what the doctor said!”
“How many times have I fallen since then? Look, I’m fine.” He stood up and began to fall. “Except for that.” He muttered. I had jumped up and caught him at the last second.
“The doctor said to bring him into the doctor’s office and they’ll check him out.” Ray said.
“Okay.” I got Frankie to Bob’s car. Everyone else piled in as well.
“I’m gonna get blood all over your seat Bob. Take my car.” Frank was pleading.
“Quit worrying about the damn seats.” Bob sighed. “We’re taking my car.”
Frankie sighed and relaxed against me, muttering about stupid paranoia and how he was fine.
…
…Two Hours Later…
Frank’s POV
“I’m really not sure.” I heard the doctor telling Gerard. I was half out of it and staring into space. “He can’t seem to concentrate, he can’t stand, but he’s conscious.”
“You got that right.” I muttered.
“Frank, can you see how many fingers I’m holding up?”
“42.” I shrugged, not even bothering to look.
“Frank, don’t be stupid. Listen to the doctor.” Gerard pleaded.
I looked at the man’s hand. “Three.”
“He can see straight.” The doctor said. “He just seems disoriented. I don’t think he needs to be checked into a hospital, but I’m worried. Frank, what’s you’re last name?”
“Which one? My Canada one or my US one?” I asked.
“Your given name.”
“Iero. Did you know my name has ‘eye’ in it? It’s kinda funny because I’ve got two eyes. Did you know that, Gee?”
Gerard didn’t answer me, but continued to talk to the doctor.
“Gee, I’m horny. I need sex now.”
“You aren’t horny, Frank.” Gerard sighed.
“I will be soon.” I insisted.
“But as you can see… he doesn’t seem fit to go home.” The doctor continued.
“I’m fit to go home. I’m not fat! And I can fit through the door.” I insisted. “Hell, I can fit in the dog door. I like it doggy style. Actually, I’ve never had it doggy style. Gee, can we try doggy style tonight?”
“Frankie, please sit still.” Gerard sighed. “Look at him, doctor. He isn’t… he’s in a fucking state, here.”
“All I can do is send him home and put him on bed rest, Mr. Way. I’m sorry.”
Gerard nodded.
“Why are you so snappy and serious, Gee? Be happy.” I piped.
The doctor left so I could change—they had me in one of those icky gowns—and Gerard came to the bed and wrapped his arm around me. “I’m so sorry, babe. If I hadn’t made you fall you wouldn’t be like this.”
“I’m fine, Gerard. Honest. I feel perfectly fine.” I said as he stripped me. “In fact let’s have sex! Doggy style! Right here!”
“Frank, you can’t stand on your own. I’m not going to have sex with you. You aren’t even acting normal.”
“Sure I am.”
“C’mon, Frankie. Let’s get home.”
“Okay… can we have sex there?”
“No.”
“… Fine then…. Will someone else have sex with me?” I asked, cocking my head to one side.
“No.”
“Oh…. Well… can I have sex with me?”
Gerard looked at me, blinking. “Frankie, don’t think, kay?”
I giggled. “Good one. Me, think.”
Gerard’s POV
For a while Frankie only got worse. He was seriously disoriented and found the most random things funny and amazing. While he did look adorable going through this, I was worried. I stayed up all night with him and around four in the morning he began to get back to normal. First he quit giggling over everything. Then he walked himself to the bathroom. He took a while and I did get worried, but he came back down not giggling and acting high but grumbling about there being no toilet paper left.
“Thank God.” I sighed, hugging him.
“Thank God there’s no toilet paper left? I told you to get some today at the store and you forgo—AH!”
I pressed my lips to his, kissing him roughly. He was shocked at first, then kissed back. I gently laid him on the couch and kissed his neck.
“Mmh, Gee…” he arched into me. “I’m sorta tired and my head aches. Oh, wow… Mmmh.”
I kissed up and down his neck, causing him to moan. When I bit down on his pale flesh he winced and hissed lightly, then moaned.
“Mmh, babe. I want to, I do. I just don’t feel great.”
I nodded and sat up. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Frank grinned at me. “But tomorrow can we try it doggy style? Pur-leeeeease?”
“Maybe.” I laughed.
“YAY!” he clapped.
Frank’s POV
A month later…
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! THAT’S WHAT I’D FUCKING LIKE TO KNOW!”
“It’s just hair, Frank.” Gerard said calmly.
“JUST HAIR? YOU FUCKING—I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT! DID MIKEY DYE IT? DID HE?”
“Yes.” Gerard sighed.
“WHY!!!!???? WHY?!”
“You dye your hair all the time.” Gerard pointed out.
“NOT PLATINUM BLONDE! AND WHEN I DO IT LOOKS GOOD! NOT LIKE THE FUCKING SUN TOOK A REST ON MY GODDAMN HEAD!”
“Frank, honestly… baby, I’m still me. It’s hair color.”
“IT’S BLONDE! GERARD, IT’S BLONDE!” I shouted.
“Do you want me to dye it back? Is that it?”
“YES! Please, God, yes!”
“Well too bad. I like it.”
“You like it?” I couldn’t help but scoff. “Are you HIGH?”
Gerard rolled his eyes and sat on our couch. He looked so weird. I felt uncomfortable around him, like he was a stranger. Oh, man…. Was he gonna pay for this. I’m gonna pay him back…. I really am, buddy….
“No, I’m not high.” He snapped.
“What is it with you? You’re acting like Billie Joe. First you cut your hair, after he does. Then you grow it out, after he does. And then, great God’s almighty balls, you DYE IT BLONDE!”
“I am not copying Billie Joe.” He muttered, crossing his hands over his chest. “I needed change.”
“I’m gonna kill your brother for dyeing it.” I said, shaking my head. “Then I’m gonna kill you, bury you, dig you up, clone you, and kill all your little blonde clones.”
“Frank, honestly.”
“Change is… a trim. A new shirt. A new pair of sunglasses. Not dying your beautiful silky black hair BLONDE!” I let out a wail of despair.
“Oh, Frank. It’ll come out eventually.”
“Tell me I’m on Punk’d and you’re wearing a wig, Gee. Please.”
“Frankie, it isn’t that bad. When I first saw it I was… a little put off. But now I like it.”
“That’s because you’re obviously still high from all those years doing crack.” I grumbled.
“That was uncalled for.” Gerard sighed, going to sit by me on our chair. He pulled me into his arms.
“Why, Gee? Why?” I whimpered.
“Is it that bad, honestly?”
“Yes.” I moaned, laying my head on his shoulder. “All I have of you is my memories.”
“Oh, Frank.” Gerard laughed.
“No. It’s over. I cannot see a blonde man.”
“Last year your hair was blonde, brown, and red.” He pointed out.
“Well it looked good on me. You look like a fucking lemonhead or something. I don’t even know what you look like. It’s too bright to stare at to figure out, really.”
Gerard let out another sigh.
“I’m gonna dye my whole fucking head neon green and see how you like it, Mr. Lemonhead.”
“I won’t be as mean to you as you are to me!” he called as I stood and stomped from the room.
“And don’t think you’re getting any sex until its black, buddy!” I called.
I heard muttering, but couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“And don’t forget to clean the hamster cage. It’s starting to smell.” I added, and then disappeared into our bedroom.
He came in a few hours later, when I was in my pajamas and lying in bed half asleep.
“Are you asleep?” he whispered, getting into bed.
“If you’re still blonde, yes.” I muttered.
He pressed a kiss to my cheek and slid his arms around my waist. “I didn’t like you cutting your hair off before you died it blonde too much either, you know.”
“But it was sexy when I did it.” I whispered, half asleep.
“You haven’t even given it a full day.”
“I hate it.”
“I hate your hair short.”
“My hair is short now!”
“Exactly.” Gerard cuddled up to me. “Night, babe.”
“What do you mean, you hate my hair short?” I asked, sitting up.
“I just don’t like it much. I like it longer.”
“I’m gonna grow dreads then! See how you like that!”
“Who are you kidding, Frank?” he snorted. “You wouldn’t do that to your hair even if you did want to get back at me.”
“What?” I scoffed. “I wouldn’t?”
“No, you wouldn’t. Because it would look terrible.”
“Go look in the mirror, babe.” I glared.
“Look, you wouldn’t grow dreads because it’d look awful and you don’t like dreads.”
“Green dreads!” I cried. “They’re gonna be neon fucking green!”
“Okay, Frank. We’ll see.” He said, pulling me down next to him. “Now go to sleep so we can wake up in the morning and have some sex.”
“Doggy style?” I asked. I still hadn’t got my doggy style sex yet.
“Maybe.”
For five minutes we lay in silence. Gerard was just beginning to drift off when I muttered “I still hate your hair.”
His eyes snapped open and he blinked at me, then sighed and rolled over.
“Heh heh heh.” I cackled, lying down and falling asleep. So I may not really grow green dreads. I had scared the shit out of him. One point: Frankie.
Gerard’s POV
I guess that’s what I get for marrying a younger guy. Over the next few days he did quit complaining about my hair, but it was still obvious he hated it.
So I had two choices. Make the man I love happy and either strip the color or dye my hair black or make myself happy and keep the blonde.
I mean, it’s not like I’ll be UNHAPPY with black hair. I like the blonde. But Frankie doesn’t.
He needs to get over it.
Maybe I should have told him first. It was kind of mean to just go out to Ray’s with Mikey and come back platinum blonde.
You know what’s funny though? It’s a 10 wash dye. It’ll be out soon. So now I must make the choice to dye it permanently or make Frank happy. He, of course, thinks it’s permanent. That’s the only reason he’s surrendered fighting for the cause of my black hair. I did hear him complaining to his mom though.
Plus, I think he was serious with what he said the other day about taking drastic measures. I don’t know what’s he’s got planned. Maybe that is the plan, making me wonder if he has a plan.
I went into our living room to find Frankie reading The Shining.
“Hey, babe.” I said. I hadn’t been home all day because I’d gone to discuss something with our band manager. I probably shouldn’t have. It was underhanded. Something else I should have talked to Frankie about first. I was asking, just hypothetically, if there was any way we could have a kid on a tour without hiring a full time nanny or whatever.
He looked up. “Hi.” He smiled.
I sat down by him and he fingered my hair, sighing. “I am getting used to it, I suppose…” he said, more to himself than me.
I grinned and kissed him. “How much do you love me right now? A ‘Oh my god, I LOVE you so much!’ or a ‘I’m married and stuck with you. What more do you want?’”
He rolled his green eyes. “I suppose the first one. Why?”
“Because I’ve got something to ask you again and I want to ask at the right time.”
“We’re already married.” He laughed, climbing onto my lap. “And 5 hamsters is enough. Speaking of hamsters, though, did you hear about the guy in New York who turned his house into a big hamster cage? I mean, seriously, Gee. He had a wheel and everything. It was wild. I saw it on the news.”
I smiled at Frank. Sometimes he could be so adorable. “Well, babe… I was wondering how you felt about adopting now that it’s been a while.”
Frank looked at me and his smile faltered a bit. “I—I don’t… Why don’t you ask me when you’re hair is black?”
“Frankie, can I have an honest answer now?”
Frank sighed and nuzzled me. “You said I was kid enough.”
I smiled and ran my hand up and down his back. “You are, Frankie.”
“We’re going on tour soon, baby…”
“Don’t get mad but I asked Brian how it would work, if we were to adopt. He said that there will be people to watch the kid during sound checks and concerts and shit. Hairdressers, runners, even Brian said he could backstage in dressing rooms. And we could obviously keep it on the bus with us… it might be a little interesting, but interesting is good.”
“Gee, I told you… what about Bert? And people doing drugs and alcohol?”
“If we adopt a baby I seriously doubt My Chemical Romance will be around long enough for the baby to be exposed to that as a teen or whatever. I mean, realistically My Chemical Romance isn’t always gonna be our thing. Soon it’ll just be… a regular lifestyle.”
Frank frowned.
“And Bert… baby, if I have anything to say about it you will never be in on any tour with him. Brian knows what happened and he said he’d watch out for The Used to make sure we aren’t booked together or anything.”
Frank nodded.
“I think we can do this… won’t you please say something?”
“I don’t know, Gerard. I want kids… but… I mean… wouldn’t it be smarter to wait until My Chemical Romance is done? It’s like you said. My Chemical Romance won’t be around forever and we’re young.”
“I want this now, Frankie… if this is about it being inconvenient or you thinking it’s stupid male dominance it isn’t. I want a kid. I want to have a baby with you.” I said, pressing my lips to his.
He kissed back, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek. We pulled away and he nodded, smiling.
“Okay. Let’s do this.”
“Really?” I asked excitedly.
“Yeah. I already called around and it looks like it’ll be easier to move back to Canada for a while, get the kid, then move back to America. The tour will have to be postponed—.”
“We aren’t ready yet anyw— called around?”
“I’ve been… thinking about this a lot too, Gee.” He admitted, looking sheepish.
“I love you so much, Frank.”
“I love you too, Gee.”
Gerard's POV
Two Weeks Later...
"I'm sorry, sir. We can't allow you to adopt."
My eyes widened. "W-what?"
"When we spoke on the phone I wish I had known your history. I simply cannot allow you and your husband to adopt."
I stared at the woman.
"Drug addiction, alcoholism, suicide attempts... I'm sorry, Mr. Way. Maybe in five years--."
"Five years?" Frank asked hoarsely.
"I'm sorry. I wish you'd told me rather than hide it from me. Besides, do you really believe your life style is fit to raise a child? Maybe you can look into adoption in the states or you could find a surrogate."
"There's.... nothing we can do? No stupid classes? No drug tests? That was a long time ago."
"With respect, sir, the self induced coma was three years ago. You've battled several addictions. You're clinically depressed--."
"I see therapists. I'm not on drugs and I don't drink anymore." I exclaimed.
"I'm sorry." the woman sighed. "There's really nothing I can do. You could try another agency."
"Fine." Frank stood and stormed out.
"Bye." I ran after Frankie.
Gerard's POV
"Frankie, would you wait up?" I called, following Frank to the car.
When I caught up to him he was sniffling, tears pouring down his face.
"We'll try somewhere else, babe." I whispered, pulling him to my chest.
"No one's gonna let us because I was fucking stupid and tried to kill myself. You should just go marry someone who doesn't have as much problems and then you can have your kids."
"It's my drug and alcohol addiction, not your coma."
"At least you didn't try to kill yourself." he wailed.
"Frankie, baby... we will find a way, okay? Even if we have to get a surrogate we will find a way."
He nodded into my chest, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Gee."
"I'm sorry too, baby. But we're gonna make it work."
He nodded into my chest again. "Do you promise?"
"Mhmm." I kissed the top of his head lovingly. "I promise."
Frank’s POV
Later That Same Day…
We had an appointment at another Canadian adoption agency in two days and I was at the store, mainly because we were out of Skittles. I mean, who gives a fuck if there is no milk or soda or food period? Let’s be honest, I’m in it for the Skittles.
I immediately went down to the candy aisle. There was only a woman with a whiny child and a young woman with dark hair on the aisle. I had never been to this store before so I wasn’t sure where the Skittles were. All I knew was there had better be some or SOMEONE was going to be in some serious trouble.
I finally found them and, struggling to hold in a squeal of delight, reached for them. There was one bag left and it was mine, all MINE.
Or I thought it was. The young woman had reached out at the same time and had grasped the beg before I could.
“Oh, sorry.” She said.
I looked at her in shock. She was right at my height and had deep brown eyes and streaks of neon blue in her hair, with a lip ring.
“Oh, it’s okay.” I said.
‘Give me the skittles… there’s only one bag, bitch… there mine… they are mine!’
She grinned at me, put the Skittles in her cart, and left.
WITH MY SKITTLES!
First they tell me I’m unfit to be a parent, then they take my fucking skittles! Honestly, what kind of world is this?
“M-my skittles.” I whimpered, stomping my foot. I turned to find Gerard behind me. “She took my skittles, Gee.”
“Who?” Gerard looked behind me.
“That evil and twisted woman back there. She left.”
“Oh, baby.” Gerard hugged me. “We’ll stop at a gas station on the way home. Let’s get the groceries, okay?”
We walked down the aisles silently. Both of us were still messed up about our news earlier. I know Gee promised it would work out eventually, but I couldn’t help but think something would go terribly wrong. Something ALWAYS went terribly wrong.
I felt Gerard’s hand rubbing circles on my back when we waited in a long ass line. I sighed and leaned against him, hands still on the cart.
“It’s going to work out, Frankie. We’ll find a way to get a baby.”
I nodded and sighed again.
“Everything will work out.” He whispered, still rubbing my back. We moved forward in line and I sighed, turning to face him.
“You can’t promise that, Gee, because society is fucked up. They’ll let people you beat and rape little kids adopt but will they let us? No.”
“We can look into surrogate mothers.” Gerard whispered.
“We shouldn’t have to! There are already thousands of fucking babies in those nasty shelters with no home!”
Gerard wrapped me in a tight hug.
“It isn’t fair, Gee.” I whimpered. “And I didn’t even get my Skittles.”
Gerard laughed quietly and tightened his grip on me.
Two Days Later…
Gerard’s POV
“YOU!” Frank hissed.
We had just sat down in the waiting room at the adoption agency and Frank was pointing accusingly at two young women. One was short with dark hair and blue streaks. The other had short blonde hair with black streaks.
Both women arched their eyebrows.
“You took my Skittles!”
“Erm…” the woman with dark hair said.
“You took the last bag in all of bloody Canada! Do you know how many places I went looking? And did I find any? No! Those should have been MINE!”
“Frank!” I whispered.
“Uhm… I’ll give you two bags?” the woman asked.
“I wanted THAT bag!” Frank snapped.
“Well that bag is long gone.” She said. “Sorry.”
“Took my skittles.” Frank muttered, slouching in his chair.
I rolled my eyes and shifted. The room was now silent, bar the “drip” some stupid fish tank was making. My hamsters were better. Francesca, Skippy, Lucius, and Christina Ricci Jr. included.
Don’t ask, okay? Don’t even fucking ask.
Yes, I named it after Christina Ricci. I happen to like her, thank you.
And no, I’m not still stalking her.
And yes, only because I no longer live near her.
But I won’t let the social workers here know that. They already think Frank is some weird Skittle psycho. Plus, face it. The odds are against us here.
An Hour Later…
“You have to understand that… taking your history into account…”
I couldn’t even bare to look at Frank, who I knew was probably already either crying or getting ready to because he was balling his fists.
“We don’t do drugs, we don’t drink, we don’t try to kill ourselves. We just want a baby.” I said. I tried to take Frank’s hand but he wouldn’t let me, burying both of his hands in his jacket pocket.
“I believe you, sir. Maybe in a few years—.”
“We’ve heard this.” Frank sighed, sniffling. “But we don’t want to wait five years. We want a baby now.”
“I’m going to give you the number to our surrogate mothers branch. It’s on the first floor.” The woman began scribbling something down. “I am very sorry, both of you. I believe you would make good parents… it’s just… the system sucks. I hope both of you find your baby.”
I took the slip of paper from her. “Thanks anyway.”
We went out. This time Frank didn’t run off, but walked by me. Outside of the building he once again collapsed into tears. “We’re never gonna get a baby, Gerard.”
“We are, baby.” I whispered, pulling him close to me. I kissed his forehead and stroked his hair, whispering soothing words. I was ignoring the two girls from the waiting room earlier, who were smoking a little bit down and watching us curiously.
I led Frank to our car across from them and opened the door. He got into the passenger seat, angrily wiping his eyes. I noticed the girls going back into the building out of the corner of my eye.
I shrugged it off and got in the car, sighing deeply. Maybe Frankie was right and we would never get a baby.
Frank’s POV
Two More Days Later…
My cell phone was ringing for the third time and I stared at it blankly. I had no idea who the number was, but they seemed insistent on talking to me. I was just moping on the couch so decided to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Is this Frank or Gerard?” A woman’s voice asked.
“Uh, yeah.” I said, turning the TV off.
“This is Sharon from the adoption agency. I’m not sure if you remembered to call the number I gave you.”
I glanced at it sitting on the coffee table where Gee had left it. He was outside sitting now, probably smoking.
“But if you are interested we have two surrogates who are willing to carry your baby.”
“W-what?” I asked. “Did my husband call you?”
“ No. Actually they overheard you and your husband and approach my colleague about it. We haven’t given them your name, number, or anything. I just wanted to let you know that if you were interested…”
“But why would anyone just… ask to do that?”
“Apparently they feel the need to do this for you.”
“I… I’ll talk to Gerard and we’ll call you back.” I said, kind of shaking. Well, my hand was.
“Okay, goodbye.”
“Yeah, bye.” I hung up. “Gee! Gerard!”
He walked in, running a hand through his hair. The color had faded to a light brown by now. It was slowly but surely turning back to black. Thank God.
“What, baby?”
“The agency just called.”
“They’re letting us adopt?” he asked.
I frowned and shook my head.
“Then what the fuck did they want?” he snapped.
“Someone wants to be our surrogate mom. Apparently they heard us talking or some shit.” I shrugged. “But anyway… they’re interested and I told the lady we’d call her back.”
Gerard’s eyes were wide as he sat by me. “Do we do it or try to adopt?”
“I don’t know.” I whispered. “We could go for it… because I don’t think any adoption agency in their right mind would let us adopt.”
“Frank—.”
“No, it’s true. We don’t have the best past in the world. We can wait five years or go meet these ladies.”
“Let’s go meet them.” Gerard whispered.
I handed him the phone, smiling. “Okay.”
…
…
“So why were you even there?” Gerard asked the girls curiously. We had met the two women interested and it turns out it was Evil Skittle Stealing Bitch and her girlfriend. Their real names are Evil Skittle Stealing Bitch and Samantha.
Okay, Athena and Samantha. But she is an evil skittle stealing bitch.
Even if she brought me two bags, like she promised.
“We wanted to adopt.” Samantha said, sitting in the booth of a restaurant. We’d briefly discussed plans for surrogacy pregnancies, then decided to go out for lunch.
“So why are you going to carry a baby for us?” I asked.
“Because you want one.” Athena said.
“Why not have a sperm donor and carry your own baby?” I asked curiously.
“Because we wanted to adopt.” Samantha answered me, smiling.
“Fair enough.”
“Can I take your order?” A waitress came up.
“I want a salad.” Athena said. (A/N: Hahaha, Athena. When you read this I hope you crack up. Salads are so nasty. They taste like leaves. Blugh!!!)
“She’s vegetarian.” Samantha muttered to Gerard and me.
“I want a salad too.” I chirped.
“So is he.” Gerard whispered back.
“I like meat.” Samantha said.
“Me too.” Gerard whispered back. “But shh, Their innocent ears can’t take it.”
“Athena? Innocent ears? You really don’t know us at all yet.”
“Yeah well you think Frankie’s a cute short guy.”
“He is.” Samantha pointed out.
“But he’s evil.” he whispered.
“Hey, I’m not evil! Only that one time when you said we’d fuck doggy style and we didn’t!” I pouted adorably at Gerard.
Samantha began giggling. “You’re pretty wild, huh?”
“Not in bed, apparently.” Athena muttered. “What kind of gay guys haven’t had doggy style sex before?”
“We aren’t animals.” I pouted.
“You’re the one wanting it doggy style.” Athena pointed out.
“Hey, don’t pick on me. Just because I’m short—.”
“I’m your height.”
“Technicalities….” I muttered and they all laughed.
“So… whose sperm and whose egg?” Samantha suddenly asked.
“Uhm…” I looked at Gee.
“We hadn’t gotten that far yet, actually.” Gerard said.
Our food came (haha. I hadn’t even noticed Gerard and the other girl order.) and we began to eat, discussing plans.
“So I guess we’ll hold off on the tour until then.” I said.
“Tour?” Athena asked.
“Oh, yeah. We’re in a band.”
“Oh…” Samantha said. “Cool… which one?”
“My Chemical Romance.” I said happily.
“No fucking way!” Athena gasped. “How the fuck did I not know? Wait, but you’re, like, blonde! Where did your long black hair go?”
“He cut it and dyed it blonde.” I muttered.
“Well, obviously. And you look different too… your hair grew back out!”
“I’m guessing you know My Chemical Romance?” Samantha asked.
“We were going to go to their concert but it got canceled.” Athena said. “Remember?”
“Oh, yeah. You got pissed because they didn’t reschedule.”
Athena nodded, looking like I look when I’m hyper.
The rest of the dinner we didn’t talk about the surrogacy plans much. We mainly just hung out and got to know each other. The longer I was around them the more I liked them. Even evil Skittle stealing bitch.
Around nine Samantha let out a yawn, sending a chain reaction through out the table. Everyone laughed, then I crawled out of the bunk.
“We’ll call you soon to make an appointment at the agency?” Athena asked.
“Okay. We’ll have our cell on.” Gerard also got out of the bunk. I was yawning again and he smiled at me, looking sexy. I think I died a little. Or maybe it just made me sleepier. “I should get him home.”
“Bye, guys!” The girls called.
We waved, then headed to the car. Eventually we arrived home and I collapsed on our bed, Gerard next to me.
“They’re nice.” He said, facing me.
“Yeah.” I nodded, yawning again.
“It’s only nine thirty, baby. You go to bed earlier every day.”
“I’m saving up energy for the tour.” I laughed.
He laughed too and stripped me of my clothes. “It’s too early for that. And plus, we’ve gotta celebrate.”
“We do?” I asked, grinning. “Does that mean we get to try it doggy style? Finally?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” I nodded eagerly, taking off his clothes as well. “C’mon, buddy. I’ve been waiting for this.”
Gerard grinned at me. “Princess Frankie shall wait no longer.”
Frank's POV
"I liked them." Gerard said.
"Well I didn't."
"You're just mad she took the skittles."
"No, I'm not."
"You are." Gerard said, rolling his eyes. "She gave you two bags so you have to get over it."
"They weren't cool enough."
"They... weren't cool enough?"
"Nope. And one was blonde. If we get a blonde kid it's gonna lead to tons of questions--."
"Frank, you're putting too much thought into this. If you don't want to have a surrogate tell me and we will pointlessly move to the USA."
"No one in their right mind would let me adopt." I sighed.
Truth be told, I wasn't comfortable with the surrogacy idea. I mean... what if they decide they want to keep the baby? My baby. What if they want us to give up our rights? I mean, we don't know them. We don't know what kind of people they are.
But Gerard thinks they're all high and mighty because they offered.
"I'm worried." I muttered, lying on our couch. I'd had a few days to get used to the idea and I just wasn't sure... maybe if the surrogate was someone we knew... someone we trusted. I think Bob's got a sister...
No. You don't know her.
I sighed again. "Everything goes wrong, Gee. Everything. And this is something big to go wrong. Remember Mikey when his baby died? If something happens... that's how we'll be. That depressed, that sad, that angry..."
"Everything will be fine. You're just a pessimist."
"Everything is never fine."
"It always is eventually."
"Gerard, I don't know if I like this."
"You're just nervous. Look, it'll be fine."
"You've said that a million times and it just makes me feel worse about this, so stop." I snapped.
"We can't adopt, okay? We've got a bad past. It sucks, but that's all there is to it."
I glared and stomped off. "I STILL DON'T LIKE THEM!"
Gerard's POV
Frank stomped off, yelling he still didn't like the people. I sighed, knowing I shouldn't have brought up the adoption agency thing. But it was true and Frank seemed to think we could still adopt. When we couldn't, at least now.
He's just paranoid or something right now. I don't know why, because the people seemed nice enough. They were cool enough too because they liked My Chem which makes them VERY cool. Very cool indeed because that means they like me and we all know I am the shit.
I sighed, figuring I should go after him. I followed him into our room and he was angrily playing his new guitar. It was a green one like Billie Joe's. He'd always wanted one and finally went to get on a few days ago.
"Frank, they seem like okay people. I know you're worried but... don't be."
"You want to put something as important as this in the hands of two complete strangers?" he exclaimed, looking up from his guitar.
"Yes because I want a baby and this is the only way we're going to get one unless you plan to shove one out your ass."
"Gerard... who says they aren't doing this because we're celebrities? What if they want us to pay them some outrageous amount of money... Or... I don't know!"
"We'll pay them whatever they want because this is a child-- our child! I'd give anything for a baby, Frankie!"
"I know you would, Gee!" Frank exclaimed. "I just think it's gonna go wrong, okay? Maybe I'm just scared, but maybe I'm right."
"You're wrong. Can we please just go to the agency and sign the papers?"
Frank sighed and chewed at his lip, then fingered his lip ring nervously. That had become a new habit of his.
"Yes." he finally whispered, looking defeated. He gave a very forced smile.
"It'll be fine, you'll see!" I said excitedly. "I'll go call the worker now!"
Frank's POV
I watched him happily run out of the room to find his phone. I swallowed the sob threatening to come. I just knew this was going to go wrong and Gee was clueless.... Completely and utterly clueless.
Gerard’s POV
A few months later…
It was a month before the artificial insemination and I think Frank was less worried by the fact that ‘two complete strangers’ were carrying out baby. Athena, the dark haired and short one, was carrying our baby and I had donated the sperm.
Now Athena is five months along and showing. My Chemical Romance has put out our next album but obviously there is no touring. At least yet. That left our fans in a bit of an uproar, all of them apparently convinced we were quitting. Which we weren’t, as far as I knew.
“You really don’t have to pay for all of this.” Samantha said as I hauled in groceries.
“I want to.” I insisted. “When is her doctors appointment?”
“It’s in a while.” Samantha shrugged, sitting on the couch.
“Well….” I smiled. “Call us when you get back and let us know?”
“Okay, Gerard. Tell Pretty Boy I said hi.” Athena said, coming in.
I nodded. “Will do. Bye guys.”
Frank’s POV
Athena was eight months into her pregnancy when Gerard and I were called in for a meeting with the agency. We assumed it was custom and went, thinking nothing was wrong.
When we got there, though, neither Athena nor Samantha were there.
“We’re here to see Shannon.” Gee said.
We were led into a room when our worker, Sharon, sighed. “Boys, have a seat.”
I sat down, suddenly feeling like I was walking to my death. What was going on?
“Athena and her husband have decided to keep the baby.”
Gerard’s eyes widened. “What? Can she do that?”
Shannon nodded and passed me a paper. I stared at it. Signed in black ink at the bottom were two signatures next to each other.
Athena and Bert McCracken.
Gerard’s POV
“Don’t you see now?” Frank shouted angrily at me outside of our car. “He had this fucking planned! She was his fucking wife! He’s probably hidden in the bushes laughing his ass of right now!”
“How was I supposed to know? They said Samantha was her girlfriend… I….”
“NO! I told you something was going to fucking happen and you didn’t listen! Now we’re never going to have kids!” Frank threw the car door open and got in, slamming it behind him.
I blinked back tears and got into the driver’s seat, hearing Frank quietly sniffling.
“Frankie—.” I began.
“Don’t, Gerard. Just don’t.”
“I didn’t want this to fucking happen!” I suddenly shouted. I didn’t mean to, it just came. I was trying to be calm here but I couldn’t take it. I’d wanted that baby so badly. It was a girl.
“I know you didn’t but you don’t fucking listen!” Frank sobbed. “Just get me home.”
Frank’s POV
“You don’t fucking listen! Just get me home.” I whimpered.
Gerard began driving quickly, like he couldn’t even stand to be in the car with me. Which is unfair because I warned him… I told him we’d get hurt… and he didn’t fucking listen.
“Gerard, slow down.” I said as we almost rammed head first into a car. He ignored me. “GERARD SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!”
He stepped on the gas and I slapped him and grabbed the wheel. But I was too late because we collided with a car, throwing me into the door.
“Frankie, are you okay?” I heard him shout as everything went black.\