Sequel: The Pros and Cons of Living ›
The Pros and Cons of Breathing
Part 16
Frank’s POV
I pulled on my pajama pants. “You ass! You knew they were on there way. I’ve gotta take a shower.”
“We’re married. Your mother knows we have sex, Frankie.”
“Stall them or something.” I moaned, running upstairs. I was angry at him for fucking me like that without telling me mom was on her way, but I wasn’t too angry. I mean, could you be angry at Gerard Way if he’d just fucked you? I think not. I mean, he’s got the gorgeous eyes and the BLACK hair. Which he will never again dye or cut below shoulder length if I have anything to say about it.
I climbed into the shower after closing the bathroom door and stripping of my clothes. Hmm, I wish Gee was in here with me. We haven’t had shower sex since before he left me for America about a month ago. I’ll have to tell him that.
In about five minutes I ran downstairs in jeans and a t-shirt.
“Just the mail man.” Gerard shrugged, smirking.
“You little fucker.” I pounced on him and kissed him. “They are coming, right?”
“They were going school shopping for the girls first. I just left that out to see what you’d do. It was quite funny, really. ‘You ass!’ Last time I checked, I wasn’t a donkey.”
I grinned innocently. “Would I ever call you that?”
“Oh, no. Never. Just like I’d never call you an oompa loompa.”
“Hey, I am the sexiest oompa loompa to walk the Earth.”
“But I’m from Uranus… HAHAHA. Get it?”
“And we’re in 7th grade, are we?” I smiled at him.
“Uranus… hahaha.” He chuckled.
“Gerard, shut up and kiss me.”
Frank's POV
"Now, girls, this is what you DO NOT do when you're 13." Mom laughed.
I jumped away from Gerard, blushing. "Mom!"
She grinned. "You've gotten taller, I see. Not too much."
"He's still my midget." Gerard laughed. "Hi, Kaylie. Hi, Liz."
"They're gonna be shy today. Liz is mad at me and Kaylie's turning into Frank. She'll either be really hyper or really quiet and shy."
I hugged both of my sisters tightly. "Bella's still sleeping." I said, hugging mom. "She should be up soon."
"If they shouldn't kiss then they really shouldn't do what we did an hour ago." Gerard said cheerfully.
I felt myself blush. "Gerard....." I growled.
"They shouldn't do what I did last night either." Linda said.
"Don't tell me your with someone." I groaned.
"She is!" Liz snapped. "And he's awful."
"Elizabeth, sit down!" Mom growled.
"No. He's terrible."
Gerard’s POV
I never really see Linda mad, but she and Liz seemed very angry at one another. Apparently Liz had been ride to Linda’s new boyfriend. Frank says he probably deserved it because his mom usually picked asses to go out with.
“Example being my father.” He’d muttered when Linda was in the bathroom.
I’ve never really seen any girls cry, either. I mean, I’ve seen them cry but not like Liz was when I was walking through the living room. I stopped and looked at her, and then walked up.
“Hey, Lizzie.”
She looked up and wiped her green eyes. “Hi, Gerard.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting down on the couch by her.
“I don’t like mom’s new boyfriend. She’s just gonna get hurt again.” She whispered.
“Maybe he’s nice.”
“They all seem nice at first, Gerard.” She sniffed. “Then they do the same thing and leave Mom crying. Then Kaylie cries because mom’s sad and I don’t know what to do. When Frankie was home it was different. He knew how to take care of her—of us. I don’t.”
“Frank’s always going to be here to take care of you.” Gerard said.
“If mom gets hurt he’s gonna be here, not at our house.” She said. “I just wish mom would give up or something because it all ends up the same.”
“Maybe it will be different.” I offered again, watching a tear slip out of her green eye. She had Frankie’s eyes.
“I wish Frank had never met you because then he’d be home with us!” she shouted, then ran towards the car. Frank came in then with Linda and they both looked at me.
“She… isn’t too happy.” I said, feeling terrible.
“What did she say to you?” Linda sighed. “She’s being awful lately, I swear.”
“She… didn’t say anything.”
Linda followed her daughter outside. Frank sat down by me.
“Don’t let anything she says get to you. Little kids are brats, you know that.” He said, sliding an arm around me.
“I think she needs you.” I said, laying my head on his shoulder.
“Alright. Go play with Kaylie and Bella?”
“Yeah.” I got up and went to find Kaylie, who was playing with a awaken Anna.
“Kaylie, Anna!” I exclaimed, running in. “How are you two lovely ladies doing today?”
“We is playing dolls, Daddy.” Anna said.
“Ooh. Well, you just continue with that.”
“Otay.” She turned to Kaylie. “My daddy no likes dolls. But he likes my Daddy Frankie. They do things at night.”
My eyes widened.
“Uncle Ray Ray said so.”
“Anna, you’ve got such a good memory.” I said as Kaylie, now about nine I believe, began giggling. “Remind me to kill Uncle Ray.”
“Okay, Daddy. Now run along and do things to my Daddy.”
“You little twerp.” I said, tickling her. I sat on Bella’s bed and watched them play dolls. It’s really boring, too. Now dressing like a girl. That’s something I could have fun with doing with her.
Linda poked her head in. “Kaylie, it’s time to go home.”
“Aww, but Mom!” Kaylie whined.
“Don’t argue or you’ll be in trouble like your sister. C’mon, KayKay.”
Kaylie sighed and hugged Annabelle. “Bye, Annabelle.”
“Bye bye, Kay-bee.”
Kaylie looked at me shyly.
“Can I have a hug?” I asked, smiling.
She nodded and, blushing, wrapped her arms around me.
“Ooh, I love ya sweetie.” I said, squeezing her.
“I love you too.” She giggled. “Bye, Gerard.”
“Bye, babe.”
Almost Three Months Later…
Frank’s POV
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!”
I rolled over, groaning.
“Not yet.” Gerard grunted. “It’s tomorrow.”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!”
I pulled the pillow over my head.
“My birthday is in April.” Gerard groaned.
I felt little hands clawing at me and pulled the pillow down. “You are one annoying little girl.” I groaned.
“Up, Daddy.”
I pulled her up and set her on my chest.
“Happy birthday.” She said more quietly than the first time.
“Tomorrow.” I yawned.
“Daddy, time to wake up. I made you a birthday present.”
“Give it to Daddy tomorrow.”
“It won’t be good tomorrow, Daddy. Come, come, come.” She hopped off of the bed and ran out of the room.
I followed her into the kitchen where there was a big pile of mud on a plate.
“Oh, babe…”
“It’s a mud pie.” She said excitedly. “And I even put in extra worms.”
“Oh, babe…” I said again, not knowing what else to say.
“Is you liking it?”
“I do, babe… I… do.”
“Daddy, take a bite.”
“Daddy can’t eat the mud pie.”
“Why not, Daddy?” she looked at me with big blue eyes.
“Because… erm… it’s too pretty to eat. I’m gonna keep it.”
“Silly Daddy. It’s yummy. I tasted it myself.”
“Baby, when did you make this?”
“This morning.”
“Baby, you can’t go outside without my or Gerard’s permission.”
“Why not?”
“Because every person you meet isn’t gonna be nice to you. When you go out you need to tell me or Gerard, sweetheart.”
“Okay, Daddy.” She said cheerfully.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“No.”
“At least you’re honest.” I laughed, picking her up. “Now since it is eight Daddy’s gonna get some more sleep. And you, my beautiful baby girl, are going to sleep with me.”
“I’m not a baby, Daddy. I’m four.”
“I know, babe. But you’ll always be my baby. Even when you’re my age.”
“Daddy, is you old? How old will you be?”
“I’ll be 23 tomorrow, and no. I’m very young. Daddy, on the other hand, is old. Daddy will be 28 in April.”
“Wow… that’s old.” She giggled.
“I know.” I climbed into bed next to Gerard, who was sitting up. “Come sleep some more with me.”
“Nah, I’m already up.”
Gerard hadn’t slept in too late since… since Bert had forced him into sex. He used to sleep in very late but now that didn’t happen.
“Lay with us at least.” I pouted.
“Pwease, Daddy.” Bella cooed.
“Yeah, pwease Daddy.” I cooed as well.
He laid back down and opened his arms. All three of us cuddled together for a few hours, Annabelle falling asleep about twenty minutes later.
“I love you, Gerard.” I whispered.
“I love you too, Frankie.” He kissed the back of my neck, then my shoulder.
“Have you written any songs lately?” I asked, closing my eyes.
“Some skeletons… I don’t like them too much though. I’m shit at writing.”
“You aren’t shit at writing.”
Annabelle hit me on the head. “Quit talking!” she whined.
I rubbed my head where she had hit me, wincing. “Don’t hit Daddy.”
“Then don’t wake Annabelle!” she curled into my stomach and fell asleep again.
“Rotten little brat.” I muttered, stroking her dark curls. “What happened to her being shy and sweet?”
“She got used to us.” Gerard snorted. “Now she’s acting like we do.”
I hit Gerard upside the head. “I do not act like that.”
Gerard began laughing and I realized that I, like Annabelle, had just hit him.
“Oh… you’re right.”
“I’m always right.” He laughed, kissing my ear.
“I know. I’m the sexy one.” I grinned and tilted my head back to face him. Then I began cracking up because I’m far from sexiest. I mean, I’m chubby and short and he’s… sexy. Sometimes I wonder why he chose me above everyone else in the world. He could have had anyone. And he chose me.
“You still act like a little kid.” He laughed.
“Oh, did I show you the box of skittles I bought?”
“Box?”
“I went to where they make skittles and seduced the workers.” I grinned.
“Aww, I wish I’d seen.”
“Not really. I just paid the fucker twenty bucks and he gave me a box with 40 bags of skittles. It’s very big.”
“So I take it you’ve hidden it from our little trouble maker?”
“Hell yes. She’ll never find it.”
“Where’d you put it? Her underwear drawer?”
“Damn!” Gerard’s POV
A Week Later….
“I really don’t wanna fucking go to dinner to meet this guy who’s gonna end up being an ass anyway.” Frank was growling, throwing on a clean white collared shirt. He buttoned it up, frowning. He always looks sexy mad.
Shut up. Don’t think of fucking him when he’s like this. Sure, he’ll let you. But he’ll fight with you for it later.
“Maybe he’ll be different.”
“Would you quit fucking telling me that? My mother—look, I’m used to this shit. I wish we weren’t fucking here to get dragged into it this time!” he hissed. He was trying to keep his voice down cause Anna was sleeping in the living room. She’d been sick the past few days. “She says they’re all different and they aren’t. Okay, Gerard? They aren’t. This is gonna end up the same fucking thing and I don’t want to be a damn part of it.”
“Look, you could at least be supportive. At least your mom gives a damn about you, Frank.”
“Don’t pull that shit, trying to guilt trip me.” Frank said.
I pulled him into my arms and cradled him to my chest. “You’ve been up with Anna three days straight, Frank. Take a nap.”
“No. I’m not even tired.”
“We’ve got a hour before we need to leave. Try to sleep.” I said.
“No, honestly. Just… just fucking… we’re not going. I’m calling mom and telling her Bella’s still sick.”
“You fucking are not. Annabelle is better and looking forward to playing with Kaylie and your dog. You’re acting like a teenager, Frank. You’re 23.”
“Thanks, Mr. Genius. Now, at least, I know my fucking age.”
“I love you, Frank. But you’re starting to piss me off.”
Frank got off of my lap and stormed off.
An Hour and a Half Later…
Frank’s POV
“Frank, Gerard!” Mom cried, hugging us.
I glared at Gerard before hugging my mom back.
“Daddy and Daddy are fighting.” Annabelle sniffed, wiping her nose. She was still a little stuffy from her cold.
“How are you feeling, beautiful?” Mom asked, scooping her up.
“My nose is stopped up and I keep pooping a lot.” Annabelle said loudly. “Can I go now?”
“Kaylie’s in the kitchen, sweetie.” Mom laughed as Annabelle ran off, yelling “KAY-BEE!”
“Why are you two fighting?” Mom sighed, looking between Gerard and I.
“No reason.” Both of us muttered together. Gerard had his hands crossed over his chest and an angry look on his face. I glared at him again and went after our daughter.
I saw a fairly young man—about mom’s age—with dark hair.
“You must be Frank.” He said, smiling.
I glared at him, and then grabbed Bella’s hand. “You ask Daddy or me before you go somewhere, Bella. You know that.”
“But I just went to find Kaylie!” she whined, and then sniffed.
“Remember I told you about the people that aren’t nice?” I asked softly.
“Yes but its just Grandma’s house, daddy.”
I sighed. “You’re right, baby. Kaylie, watch Bella.”
“Okay, Frankie.” She waved, and then hugged my legs.
“I’m Dan.” The man said.
“Hi…” I said, knowing I sounded hateful. Gerard came up behind me.
“I’m Gerard.”
“Hi, Gerard. I’m Dan.” They shook hands and I glared at the both of them, and then turned to find Liz. She hated him too. At least I wasn’t. This man must be pure evil.
Liz was drawing something when I stepped into her room.
“Is he here yet?” she asked without even greeting me.
“Yes.” I grumbled, sitting next to her on her bed. I looked at what she was drawing. An angel or something. It was really good. I’ve never been able to draw but Gerard is really good at it. “That’s awesome, Lizzie.”
“Thanks.” She sighed.
Gerard came into the room. “Frank, I’d like a word.” He snapped.
“Great.” I muttered, standing up. I followed him into Kaylie’s deserted bedroom.
“He’s nice. Quit being a fucking ass and get over yourself.” Gerard whispered angrily.
“Quit telling me what to do.”
“Frank, I’m gonna carry you down there in a minute.” Gerard said.
“Gerard, I told you. She thinks all of them are nice gentlemen. Why the fuck did you leave Annabelle with him?”
“Linda’s in there, Frank! Why are you being so damn—paranoid?”
“You don’t know what some of her old boyfriends did.” I said bitterly. When I was ten she had a boyfriend that tried things with me. He didn’t get too far because I’d bitten his very hard and kicked him in the balls, but still….
“Frank, what? What did some of her other boyfriends do that were so terrible?”
“Which one to begin with? The one who beat her or the one who tried to touch me? Or the one who called social services hoping to good a good citizen award?”
“W-what? Touch you?”
“Tried. I kicked him in the balls.” I said, looking at him.
“Look… regardless… this man seems nice. And I would never ever put you in danger, Frank. If I thought for minute he’d hurt you, Linda, Anna, Lizzie, or Kaylie I’d fucking kill him myself.” He touched my cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me about her old boyfriends?”
“It’s not friendly stuff.” I shrugged. “And it’s past. At least I thought it had…” I sighed.
He took his hand down from my face, ran it down my arm, and took my hand in his. “Let’s go in the kitchen and help your mom cook.”
I sighed and nodded. When we stepped in there Mom and Dad—the fucker—was helping Mom cook spaghetti.
“My daddy doesn’t eat meat.” Annabelle was telling Dan. “He likes Skittles though. He hides them in underwear drawers. And he plays the geektar too. Only he lays on the ground and has geektar sex with it. That’s what my Ray Ray calls it.”
“Does he?” Dan smiled.
“Uh-huh. The band is Daddy’s Ickle Romance.”
“My other daddy—.” Bella wiped her snotty nose on her sleeve. “Sings into a bike-o-phone. He doesn’t say nice words all the time, though. But I isn’t apposed to say those words. Daddy lets me sing Helena with him though because they isn’t gotting bad words in them. Right, Daddy?”
“Righto, hotshot.” Gerard said, sitting by her.
“When I get older I’m gonna marry my Bob beast and we’re gonna get a castle.” Bella continued.
I sat down on Gerard’s lap and he kissed my neck, causing me to sigh contently.
“Are you two… together?” Dan asked.
Gerard looked up, hazel eyes looking startled.
“They’ve been married almost two years now.” Mom said, smiling. “They went to Canada. That’s where they officially live. But Gerard’s baby brother—Frank’s best friend—Mikey just had a baby and they came to help out.”
“That’s cool. My son is gay. He’s fourteen.”
I looked at Dan. “You’ve got a son?”
“Wife left us when he was five. Big ordeal and we had to move in with my parents until I could afford rent, groceries, all of that. But I hear you boys don’t need to worry about that. My Chemical Romance, huh? My son loves you guys to death. Tried to get tickets a few times, but…” he sighed and grinned. “Sold out first day every time. This time we’re getting up early.”
I smiled, deciding he wasn’t too bad.
“Where is your son?”
“Oh, he’s at home. He’s got an essay due tomorrow and it isn’t exactly done yet. He likes to put things off. But last time he finished it five minutes before time to go to school.” He smiled. “How old is this little one?”
“Annabelle will be five in May.” Gerard said. “We’re working on a time machine though to stop time so she stays this tiny and cute.”
“No we sure as hell are not. I’m ready for her to grow out of her terrible-many-years-that-will-never-end.” I scoffed.
“My daddy’s also got lots of tattoos.” Annabelle said, climbing onto her “big kid” chair. “Some of them are scary. But I likes the angel. And he’s got birdies on his belly. And a pumpkin.” She giggled.
“Really?” Dan laughed.
“Yup. I want one of Pooh Bear but he says no because it hurts. But if it hurts so damn much why does he has so many?”
“Ah! There’s that bad word you aren’t allowed to use!” Gerard said.
“I’m real fucking sorry, Daddy.”
“This really is both of your faults, you know.” Mom laughed. “You cuss like sailors.”
She began piling spaghetti onto all of our plates. “LIZ! DINNER IS DONE!”
Liz came down the stairs ad sat as far away from Dan as she could. Everyone made small talk while eating. Suddenly Annabelle began coughing and her face turned red. My eyes widened and I began to hit her back until she straightened and took a sip of her coke.
“Are you okay, Bella?” I asked, glancing at Gerard nervously. He was standing by us now (he had been by Kaylie and my mom at the other side of the table.), leaning over Bella.
“Probably just went down the wrong tunnel, huh?” Dan asked gently.
“I fine, Daddy. Finish your food, bad boys.”
“You can’t call your daddies bad boys, Annabelle.” Kaylie said.
“I can so!” Annabelle snapped, shoving some spaghetti into her mouth.
“Easy there.” Gerard warned, sitting back in his seat.
“Eat, bad boy!” she said, pointing at him accusingly.
He pointed back. “Eat, bad girl!”
“I is a good girl, Daddy. I have no clue what you is saying.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Don’t you dare fight with her, Gerard.” I warned.
“But it’s fun.” Gerard pouted, causing Liz and Kaylie to giggle.
“Bad daddy…” Bella grumbled.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I put my hand on her back.
“I fine, Daddy.” She nodded at me, grinning. “You can eat now.”
I kissed the top of her head and sat down…
Gerard’s POV
“I don’t believe we agreed to dinner again tomorrow.” Frank groaned, collapsing onto our bed at eleven o’clock that night.
“The son sounds cool enough. Maybe we’ll get to meet him.” I offered, climbing in behind him.
“At least Bella we’ll sleep in tomorrow.” Frank whispered, curling into me. He fit perfectly into my arms—always had and always will.
“Which means we can sleep in tomorrow.” I sighed happily.
“You always get up early anyway.” Frank said, kicking my arm.
“Tomorrow will be an exception…” I whispered, running my fingers through his dark hair.
“G’night, Gee Bum.”
“G’night, Wanker.”
I felt a jab in my side. “Owie!”
“That’s what ya get, meany.”
The Next Day…
Frank’s POV
“This is my son Adam. Adam, I believe you already know who these two are.”
The boy had deep blonde hair and blue eyes. He kind of gaped at us a few seconds, and then turned to his dad. “You were… serious? They… you… her son…”
“Yup.” I said cheerfully. “That’s my mommy that was swapping spit with your daddy earlier.” I nodded knowingly.
“Don’t scare him, Frank.” Gerard whispered.
“H-hi.” The blonde boy, Adam, stuttered.
“Howdy.” I waved. “I’m Frank.”
“I’M ANNABELLE!”
“Fuc—dge!” Adam jumped and looked behind him at Bella.
“Those are my stinky daddies.” She pointed, looking accusing, at Gerard and I.
“And I’m Gerard.” Gerard waved.
“I-I know who you are.” He said. “Do you know how impossible it is to get tickets to your shows? I’ve tried, like, three times!”
“Sorry about that…” I grinned.
“Don’t complain to them, Adam. I’m sure they get that all of the time.”
“Sorry.” Adam looked down, looking embarrassed.
“We like feedback.” I said, hoping to make him feel a little better.
He nodded and disappeared up the stairs. The dinner was at their house and ‘the crew’ and I had ridden with mom. The crew consisting of myself, Gerard, and Bella. So I guess ‘the crew’ and I isn’t accurate.
“I don’t think he likes us….”
Dan laughed. “He’s kinda shy, if you didn’t notice. And he’s going through a tough time now. His boyfriend broke up with him last night while I was at dinner at your house…”
“That sucks…” I said.
Gerard's POV
"Daddy, do I have to eat my vegetables? They is green and icky."
"Yes, you have to eat your vegetables."
"But why?"
"If you don't eat your vegetables all of the Skittles in the world will disappear." I lied.
"The horror!" Frank exclaimed, bringing a hand to his chest. "A skittleless world is a Frankless world."
"Would you really kill yourself because of no skittles?" Adam arched his eyebrow.
"You should've seen him when he was banned from them for a month."
"That was so awful. And to think they were in your underwear drawer the entire time."
"You mean that was true? In the interview? I thought that interview was fake."
"Puh. You should've seen him when the store ran out. He almost beat up the manager."
"Hahahahaha. Did you see his face?" Frank laughed.
Annabelle began to giggle. "Funny face, funny face..."
Gerard’s POV
Later That Night…
“No, Dawn of the Dead is SO much better that than Pansy shit!”
“Is not!” Adam countered. “Shaun of the Dead is much better. I mean, it’s fuc—freaking hilarious!”
"So? Scary movies are much better than comedies. If I wanted to laugh I'd go find Frank. Why watch a stupid movie?"
"That's true, I suppose, but Dawn of the Dead is too gorey.'
"The more, the better!"
(cont. a few min later)
"So... when are you going back on tour?" Adam asked us.
"Well..." Frankie said. "We haven't even thought about it."
"But you guys just left right in the middle of Warped last tear..." he said. "I mean, your arm is better, right?"
"There's more to it than that." Frank squeezed my hand. "Some shit happened and we don't know if we wanna bother with another tour right now..."
"Is MCR quitting?" Adam asked.
"No." I answered instantly.
"Oh, well... that's good. As long as there's hope."
"Adam, I'm sure they don't want to be pestered about MCR. They're on break for a reason." Dan laughed.
"Sorry..." Adam looked down.
"No, it's okay." I assured him. "We need to set out a statement or something anyway. The fans probably think we just dropped off of the face of the earth or something."
"Which we haven't." Frank grinned. "I'm very much alive. See?" he pinched himself. "OWW!"
Annabelle giggled. "Silly, daddy. You isn't apposed to hurt youself. You is apposed to let Daddy do that. Because I know he does. I can hear things."
"Well, then!" I stood and scooped her up. "It's bedtime for Anna."
"Nuht-uh, Daddy. It is still light out."
I covered her eyes. "Well now it's dark and you must sleep."
She bit my hand and glared, putting her hands on her hips. "You is a very bad daddy and you face does not look pretty all red like that. You look like a balloon."
Frank’s POV
“Yes, I think it IS time we go home. Before Bella finds yet another way to embarrass me and rob me of all dignity I have left.”
“Oh, it isn’t that bad.” Mom laughed. “When you were her age you said much worse things about your father and I. You liked to imitate the sounds you heard too.”
“Thanks, mom.”
Frank’s POV
“And that is why I never want to see my mother again.” I said the next morning to Ray as Gerard played with Annabelle.
“That wasn’t that bad. And you got to meet a fan. That’s always cool.”
“He was pretty shy.” I shrugged, taking a drink of my coffee. Damn Gee for getting me addicted.
Of course nothing was more addicting than skittles, but whatever…
“Daddy, no! You almost sat on Bertie!” Annabelle shrieked.
My eyes widened and I looked at Ray.
“Where did you hear that name, Annabelle?” We heard Gerard ask Annabelle calmly.
“One of our neighbors name is Bert, Daddy. He said I could call him Bertie. He helped me make Daddy’s mud pie.”
“Ray…” I whispered. “She can’t be talking about Bert… McCracken, could she?”
“He’s in jail, Frank.” Ray said instantly. “Surely someone would have let you know if he’d been released.”
“I suppose your right.” I let out a huge sigh of relief and felt the color go back into my face as I drank some more coffee.
“And what does this Bert look like?”
“He’s got long hair and tattoos like Daddy.”
“Frank?” I heard Ray ask.
“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I moaned, running to the garbage can and leaning over it.
“Gerard, get in here!” Ray called and I heard Gerard running in. “He’s getting ready to throw up.”
I felt a familiar hand rubbing my back. “Did it go away?”
“It isn’t Bert is it?” I asked hoarsely. I hadn’t thrown up, but still felt sick to my stomach.
“He’s in jail, babe.” Gerard assured me. “Remember? We saw him taken away. He’s in jail.”
“It’s been a year since we’ve been in the states, Gee.” I whispered.
“Look, we’ll go over there and see for ourselves.” He said, standing me up and holding my hand. “Right now.”
“What if it’s Bert? Aren’t you scared?” I asked. “After what he did to you, Gerard—.”
“It isn’t the same Bert, Frankie. You’ll see.” Gee said, sounding so confident. I wanted to slap the confidence right out of him. He doesn’t know who the fuck it is.
“The right side neighbor.” Ray told us. “She just pointed.”
Gerard’s POV
Frank looked a sick white as we walked up the walk to the house. I ran the doorbell, squeezing his hand. A man with shoulder length hair and a few tattoos answered.
“Hi, my daughter thinks she might have kicked her ball into your backyard.” I lied. “I was wondering if you’d found it.”
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “But I’ll ask my room mate Bert.”
Frank looked at me in horror as the man turned around. “Bert, get in here!”
Within seconds a second figure had appeared. Frank let out a huge sigh when he saw the man. He was a bit similar looking to Bert with the hair and tattoos, but most definitely not Bert McCracken.
“Have you seen the little girl’s ball?”
“She your daughter?” the Bert asked us. “Curly hair and big blue eyes?”
“Yeah.” I said.
“She’s a right cute thing, but no I haven’t seen her ball. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.” We turned and, after saying bye, left.
Frank still looked a little sick as we stepped onto our porch. I rubbed my hand up and down his arm, smiling. “It’s okay, Frankie. Bert is gonna be gone for a long time. A long time, sweetie. He isn’t going to mess with us again.”
He nodded and sighed again.
“Are you gonna be okay? You still look like you saw a ghost.”
“I’ll be fine.” He assured me, stepping into the house.
“False alarm.” I announced happily to Ray.
Frank muttered he was going to lie down and disappeared down the hall.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Ray asked, looking after him.
“He’s been under a lot of stress lately.” I whispered so Anna couldn’t hear. “I think this just scared the shit outta him. He’s scared to death Bert’s gonna come back and hurt Anna. He still has nightmares about it, every once in a while.”
“Why don’t you hire security?” Ray asked.
I gave him a look. “Because Bert is in jail. He isn’t going to touch any of us ever again. It isn’t necessary.”
“If it helps Frank sleep at night, don’t you think it might be a good idea?” Ray whispered. “Didn’t you see how pale he was? And he almost threw up. He’s obviously not a little scared. He’s scared shitless, Gerard.”
“I don’t think we need to but I’ll talk to him about it later. Now he just needs some sleep.”
Ray nodded and looked at Anna, playing tea time with her dolls. “So, up for a game of cards?”
“Sure.”
The Next Day…
Frank’s POV
"Daddy, can I ask you a question?"
I was putting butter on toast early the next morning. Too early because my darling daughter got me and Gerard up at five-o-fucking-clock.
"Yes, baby." I said, only half paying attention.
"Okays, I's got more than one Daddy. First of the ball, what is a blow job?"
My eyes widened. "Where did you hear that?"
"Kay-bee and Lizzie." Annabelle said, hanging onto my leg.
"Go ask Daddy."
"He got back in bed."
'I'm gonna kill you, Gerard...' I silently vowed.
"Go get Daddy up, then."
"He said he'd bite me."
“Well you go tell your daddy if he doesn't get his skinny little ass down here by the time I'm done making this toast I'm gonna bite him somewhere where he never ever ever wants to be bitten, okay?" I said sweetly.
"Isn't that rude, daddy? Cause it doesn't sound very nice and I isn't apposed to use that word. You has told me so you's self."
"Well, tell him to get his skinny butt down here."
"Can I at least finish my questions?"
I sighed. "I'd really rather you get Gee first."
"Only a few more, Daddy. Next of the ball, why is you and Daddy togeber? Cause you isn't having a bajinga and neeber is he. Your sex life must be very boring."
“Just go get your father.” I sighed.
“I thought you was my father. Which one of you is my mother?”
“Neither. Go get Gee.”
“I isn’t done with the questions, Daddy!” she exclaimed.
“Go get Daddy.”
She grumbled and stomped off. “DADDY!”
… Five Min Later…
“What the fuck do you want?”
“Your daughter wants to know the status of your sex life.”
“WHAT?!”
“Because neeber you or Daddy has a bajinga, Daddy.” Annabelle explained.
“Yes, Gerard. Neither of us have a bajinga.” I said, giving Gerard a dirty look.
“What?” he exclaimed.
“You talk to her. It’s too early for me to go into gay rights and the human anatomy. Plus, you’re the one who went to college.”
“I went to art school. They didn’t teach you how to tell kids what a penis is.”
“What’s a jebis, Daddy?”
“A jebis—erm, penis is--… Call Linda.” Gerard said.
“I’m not calling my mother!” I exclaimed. “You handle this.”
“Why should I handle this? You’re the one that cuddles her when she cries.”
”And you don’t?”
“I’m not explaining to her that I fuck you up your ass!” Gerard hissed.
“Well I’m not either!”
“Daddy, what’s fucked up your ass mean?”
“Gerard! Don’t say that in front of her!”
“Where did you hear about sex, Anna?”
“Kay-bee and Lizzie.” She repeated, scoffing. “What is a jebus? Can I have one?”
“HA! She learned it from your cretin sisters! You deal with it!”
“Mikey taught her the ‘f’ bomb and I dealt with that.”
“"The f bomb and the penis and vagina talk is in a whole other category, my Frankie Princess."
"Daddy isn't a princess." Annabelle insisted. "What's a jebus daddy?"
"It's what a boy pisses out of." Gerard said.
"But what's it got to do with a bajinga?"
"Call your mother." Gerard whined. "It's too early to fuck with this."
"Lizzie says a vagina gets fucked up." Annabelle squeaked. "But all mine does is pee."
"Gerard, quit answering anything she says. Just leave the room and maybe she won't notice." I said, pushing Gerard towards the door.
"DON'T YOU GO ANYWWHERE, BAD BOYS! YOU IS APPOSED TO BE ANSWERING ME QUESTIONS!" she shrieked, running after us.
"You're the one who wanted kids, you talk to her!" I snapped, pushing him into the bathroom.
"Is you two fucking in there? Cause that's what Lizzie says people do in bathrooms when they is alone with ubber people. Can I watch cause I don't know what it is!" Annabelle called, banging on the door.
"Oh my God. Click your heels three times and say 'I wish she would go away' and maybe she will." I moaned, sliding down the door.
Gerard threw his head back and began laughing.
"It isn't funny. This is a fucking disaster. I'm gonna kill my sisters."
"ARE YOU DONE FUCKING YET, BAD BOYS?!"
"No you won't. Shit, the phone is ringing."
"You go out there. You wanted kids."
"Who turned to goo when she fell asleep in your arms, Princess Frankie?" Gerard arched his eyebrow, smirking.
"Yeah, well she isn't so cute anymore. I think we should take her back."
"Frank! Don't even joke about that."
"Who said I was joking?" I muttered. "Give her to Bob."
“Bob won’t let her spend the night. You really think he wants to adopt her?” Gerard laughed.
“You think this is funny.”
“I know this is funny. Look at us, locked in the bathroom w/ a four year old banging on the door inquiring if we’re enjoying our fuck—yes, Anna! It’s very fun!”
“Don’t encourage her. Let’s just sit here until she like has a seizure or something.”
“How will we know?”
“She won’t be banging on the door anymore.”
“No, Grandma. They can’t talk because their in the bathroom fucking and they says it is fun.” We heard Annabelle say.
"GET OUT GET OUT GETOUT!" I yelped, running towards the door.
"Now Daddy's yelling to get out of him, Grandma. I think Daddy is hurting him."
Gerard twisted the door. "Fuck! We can't get out!"
"Now Daddy says he can't get out."
"Open the fucking door, Gerard. Quit playing around."
"We can't fucking get out, Frank. It's stuck."
"Daddy says he's stuck.”
"Gerard, this isn't funny. Mom's on the phone." I snapped.
"I can't get it fucking opened!" Gerard said, twisting at the knob. "FUCK!"
"Now they're screaming bad words."
"Just try harder."
"I can't try harder. It'll fucking come off."
"Daddy says he can't go harder or it'll come off, Grandma."
“Baby, get off of the phone and call Mikey! Remember his number?” Gerard called.
“Now he wants me to call Mikey to help, grandma. Is that a good idea?”
“BELLA! STOP TALKING TO YOUR GRANDMA!” I shouted, banging the door.
“Now they’re banging on the door, Grandma. It’s really loud and I hear screaming. Daddy wants him to stop but he won’t…”
“Bella! I said to get off the phone!” I shouted.
“He wants me to go call Mikey now. I think they is needing anubber person to fuck too, Grandma."
"BELLA!"
"BE PATIENT, BAD BOYS! AND YOU HAS STILL NO ANSWERED MY QUESTION!"
"Gerard, by fucking God, get this door open now."
"I can't, Frank .She's gonna have to call Mikey or someone. It's not budging."
"Now he says it isn't budging, Grandma."
“GET OFF OF THE FUCKING PHONE AND CALL YOUR UNCLE NOW ANNABELLE!” Gerard shouted.
“They is getting real impatient, Grandma. I gotta go now.” We heard a click, then a “Whoops.”
“Daddy, the phone fell. It won’t turn on.”
I collapsed onto the wall and banged my head against it.
“Daddy’s cell phone is on the bedside table, Bella. Go get it and call Mikey.”
“I’ve gotta tell Grandma I lover her! No!” she yelled. “Just go back to your fucking!”
“We aren’t fucking!” I whined.
“You says that now. But Grandma says she almost pissed herself and she coughed a lot.”
“Great. She probably sent mom into cardiac arrest.” I muttered.
“Frank, if she was laughing and coughing she knows we weren’t really fucking.”
“No! She thought it was funny that you is stuck!” Annabelle said. “Daddy, what’s Grandma’s number.
Gerard told her Mikey’s number.
“Sorry, Uncle Mikey. Me is calling me Grandma, not you… no, everything is fine. Daddy and Daddy are fucking in the bathroom and Daddy Retard is stuck. They keep banging into the door and yelling… yes, I’m serious Uncle Mikey… yes, they says to call you because they need you to join in the fun… no, they isn’t drunk…”
“MIKEY! THE DOOR IS STUCK!"
"Daddy says to tell you he's stuck, Uncle Mikey."
"TELL HIM TO COME OVER! NOW!"
"He says come over now. He sounds tired and croaky. He's been screaming a lot. It can't be too healthy for his age."
"Yes, I'm sure they're okay. They is really enjoying there fuck. Uncle Mikey, what's a blow job?"
"I'll tell you what a fucking blow job is if you tell Mikey to get over here NOW!" I yelled, banging on the door again.
"Now Daddy Frankie wants you too. He says he wants to give you a blow job. What's that mean?"
"Y'know what?" I exclaimed. "I'm never speaking again. In fact, I'm never leaving this bathroom again. Ever. Because every strand of dignity I ever had is now gone."
“Now he says he wants you to come over in a green thong. What’s a thong?”
"I think I'm gonna go hoarse in a minute." Gerard said, weakly kicking the door. "Mikey... help..." he muttered. "Please don't think she's on a suagr high.... come... I'd do it for you."
"You would not." I said.
"So?" he sat by me and I laid my head on his shoulder.
"Now they is quiet, Mikey. I think they had heart attacks."
"Daddy, Mikey wants to know if he needs to bring extra condoms?"
"Do you think Mikey really asked that?" I asked.
"Maybe." Gerard shrugged. "Tell him the doors jammed, Anna!"
"He says he's really jammed in there."
"Gerard? Frank?" I heard Mikey ask.
"The fucking doors jammed, Mikey!" Gerard called, jumping up.
"She says you're expecting an orgy."
"What's an orgy, Uncle Mikey?" Annabelle asked.
"Can you get the door open, Mikey? Please?" I called.
"Are you decent?" Mikey called, laughing.
"WE WEREN'T FUCKING!"
About ten minutes later Mikey was able to open the door.
I looked at Annabelle, prepared to ground her for life. But she looked at me with big innocent blue eyes and giggled.
"You must think you're funny, huh?"
"Nope. I just wanted to know what a blow job is. But now I's got anubber question."
"Oh god." Gerard and I moaned.
"What's it mean to give head?"
I walked back into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, then banged my head against the wall.
"Is Daddy fucking himself?” Annabelle asked.
"Quite possibly."
"Shut the fuck up, Gerard!"
"Oh, what's that? You’re fucking yourself real hard?” I heard my husband laugh.
"Divorce, my lovely husband. Divorce." I yelled.
He went quiet and Mikey and Annabelle began laughing.
Gerard’s POV
“I still can’t believe you got locked in the bathroom again.” I laughed later that night, running my hands through Frankie’s hair.
“Shut up or I’m not gonna have sex with you.” I muttered into his chest. “I’m too tired to anyway. You’ll be lucky to get me to come tonight.”
“I’ve never failed yet, my Princess Frankie.” I grinned at Frank.
He threw a pillow at me before rolling onto his back next to me. “I’m really tired tonight, Gerard.”
“Shall I wake you up?” I grinned.
“No. I’m sorry, babe.” He opened his arms and I snuggled into them.
“We’ll have extra sex tomorrow night.”
“Oh, well.” I smiled at Frank and leaned up to kiss him. “Maybe tomorrow Annabelle will be so worn out from all of her torturing us that she’ll sleep all day. Hmm?”
I looked up again to see Frankie fast asleep, mouth a bit open. I gave him a quick kiss and curled up next to him, falling asleep almost instantly.
Frank’s POV
“You’re hogging the bed.” I shoved at Gerard.
“Why hello, Pretty Boy.”
My eyes snapped open and I looked around the dark room, reaching out to shake Gerard. “Gee, wake up…”
“Hmm?” Gerard yawned, rolling over to face me.
“I had a nightmare about Bert again.” I whispered.
“Do you want us to get a guard to watch the house, babe?” he yawned sleepily.
“Yes, please. We can take it from my part of the check.”
He opened his arms, mouth opening in another wide yawn. I crawled into them and nuzzled my head into his chest, feeling him stroking my hair.
“Just a dream…” he was whispering sleepily. “No one’s gonna hurt you.”
“Earlier when I said I’d divorce you… I was joking, you know? Completely. I would never divorce you, Gerard.”
“I know. I’m the only one willing to wake up in the middle of the night and hold you after a nightmare without making fun of you.” He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. “Go back to sleep, now, babe, so we can get rest before Anna comes in.”
I nodded and slowly drifted to sleep, him singing quietly in my ear. Frank's POV
"DADDDDDDDDDDY!"
My eyes snapped open and I gasped.
"DADDY UP NOW!"
"What, Bella? What's going on?" I asked, reaching a hand back to slap Gerard awake.
"Not now, Frankie. You said no sex tonight and I'm tired..."
"Get the fuck up." I hissed. "Bella, what's going on?"
"I've gotta pee but the door won't open." she said.
"That’s what you woke me up for? You had to PEE?" I sighed, sliding out of bed.
"Uh-huh. It isn't good to have accidents, you know."
I sighed and glared at Gerard, who was laughing.
"Okay, Bella. You can use mine and Daddy's bathroom for now until the door is fixed. C'mon!"
"YAY! I get to use the big boy's bathroom!"
Gerard's POV
I finally quit laughing by the time Frankie crawled back into bed. He glared at me.
"It was supposed to be your turn."
"Suck me." I grinned, turning to face him.
"Suck yourself. That's what you’re gonna be dependant on these next few days.
"I love you, Frankie." I whimpered.
"Better learn to love your hand."
"You wouldn't deprive me of sex because that would deprive you of sex."
"Says who?" he looked at me. "AHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT YOUR FACE! You're like 'What do I say to that?'"
I shook my head.
He fell of the bed, laughing. "Yes, Gee-" he gasped out. "I'm gonna go have sex with your hot sexy brother in his green thong."
"Frank, that... isn't funny."
"So? I'm tired and you know what is funny?"
"What?"
"Your face."
"I think it's about time I call the mental institution. I fear leaving my daughter alone with you. You'll say her face is funny."
Frank continued to giggle on the floor.
"You gonna get up here with me so I can make up for laughing at you?"
He shook his head, collapsing on the floor with more giggles.
"Shit, Frank. Nothing is that funny."
This only made him laugh harder.
"Frankie, you're obviously sleep deprived. Get up here."
He instantly quit laughing. "Okay smokay."
I rolled my eyes and cuddled him. "G'night, Frankie."
He began to giggle again. "G'night, Gee Whiz."
"Lord, what did I get into marrying him?"
Gerard's POV
"Daddy, get up!"
I sat up. "Anna, leave Frankie alone. I'll get up."
"No. I want my Daddy Frankie. You is da one who sleeps in late."
"Frankie needs sleep. I'll make you some pancakes and eggs." I said, picking her up after getting out of bed.
"Otay. But I like Daddy's toast. You always burn it."
"Pshaw."
Ten Minutes Later...
Frank's POV
I was surprised to wake up to Annabelle not screaming DADDY in my face and to Gerard gone. Then I got all sappy feeling because he must've let me sleep which is real sweet. Maybe I won't deprive him of sex.
I went into the kitchen to find him making eggs. I slid my arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I love you, baby."
"Hmm, morning. I'm making pancakes, eggs, and toast."
"I like my toast better. You always burn it." I said.
"Pshaw. No one likes my toast. What do you people think toast is? It's supposed to be burnt."
I pointed to the black toast he'd just pulled out of the oven. "That, my dear, is burnt." I kissed his cheek again.
"Well, THAT is burnt."
"That's what it all looks like, Daddy." Bella said from the table where she was in her kiddie chair booster thing already drinking orange juice.
I began to giggle into Gerard's back, squeezing his waist.
"That is not what it all looks like." he pouted.
"Oh, you're so cute. You make the wonderful eggs and pancakes, I'll make the toast."
"But I like you behind me like that."
I kneed him in the butt and shoved him out of my way. "I was gonna let you off your sex deprivation but now you're gonna have to work again."
"Mmh! That isn't fair!" Gerard pouted.
"Plus, you probably let me in just to get off sex deprivation anyway."
"Who ever said it's the thought that counts?" he grumbled, beginning to make the pancakes again.
"You suck, Gerard."
"I would if my stinky husband hadn't vowed celibacy."
"Hey, I don't stink. And no sex will do you good. You'll have to get used to it if we go on tour again."
"Daddy, you is talking about bad things because you is talking to where I can't hear. Bad boys! And I've gotta pee again."
"I get to use the big boys potty! I get to use the big boys potty!" Annabelle sang as I took her into mine and Gerard's bathroom.
"Well go pee so we can eat."
"I kinda gotta poo too, Daddy." she said unbuttoning her jeans. (Gerard had even got her dressed!) "It may take a while."
"Daddy's gonna go get a book then." I said, opening the door.
"CLOSE IT CLOSE IT!"
"Why?"
"he might see."
"He who?"
"Bert."
"Bert is at his house."
"No. My friend Bert. He's on your bed."
I looked at our empty and unmade bed.
Oh. An imaginary friend.
"Oh, sorry." I closed the door quietly behind me. She could've picked any name but Bert. Any. But nooooo.
I grabbed my book Geek Love by Katherine Dunn and headed back towards the potty room. I could hear her, by God, singing Headfirst For Halos.
"ABAISNT TE BEILING! AND AS GORE--"
"Gerard!" I called. "Go listen outside the door! Go listen!"
He did, arching his eyebrow. He came back a few minutes later laughing. "Interesting interpretation."
"We've succeeded in the corruption! Yes!" I did a jig.
"Does this mean I'm off deprivation?"
"I suppose." I said, kissing him.
I pulled on my pajama pants. “You ass! You knew they were on there way. I’ve gotta take a shower.”
“We’re married. Your mother knows we have sex, Frankie.”
“Stall them or something.” I moaned, running upstairs. I was angry at him for fucking me like that without telling me mom was on her way, but I wasn’t too angry. I mean, could you be angry at Gerard Way if he’d just fucked you? I think not. I mean, he’s got the gorgeous eyes and the BLACK hair. Which he will never again dye or cut below shoulder length if I have anything to say about it.
I climbed into the shower after closing the bathroom door and stripping of my clothes. Hmm, I wish Gee was in here with me. We haven’t had shower sex since before he left me for America about a month ago. I’ll have to tell him that.
In about five minutes I ran downstairs in jeans and a t-shirt.
“Just the mail man.” Gerard shrugged, smirking.
“You little fucker.” I pounced on him and kissed him. “They are coming, right?”
“They were going school shopping for the girls first. I just left that out to see what you’d do. It was quite funny, really. ‘You ass!’ Last time I checked, I wasn’t a donkey.”
I grinned innocently. “Would I ever call you that?”
“Oh, no. Never. Just like I’d never call you an oompa loompa.”
“Hey, I am the sexiest oompa loompa to walk the Earth.”
“But I’m from Uranus… HAHAHA. Get it?”
“And we’re in 7th grade, are we?” I smiled at him.
“Uranus… hahaha.” He chuckled.
“Gerard, shut up and kiss me.”
Frank's POV
"Now, girls, this is what you DO NOT do when you're 13." Mom laughed.
I jumped away from Gerard, blushing. "Mom!"
She grinned. "You've gotten taller, I see. Not too much."
"He's still my midget." Gerard laughed. "Hi, Kaylie. Hi, Liz."
"They're gonna be shy today. Liz is mad at me and Kaylie's turning into Frank. She'll either be really hyper or really quiet and shy."
I hugged both of my sisters tightly. "Bella's still sleeping." I said, hugging mom. "She should be up soon."
"If they shouldn't kiss then they really shouldn't do what we did an hour ago." Gerard said cheerfully.
I felt myself blush. "Gerard....." I growled.
"They shouldn't do what I did last night either." Linda said.
"Don't tell me your with someone." I groaned.
"She is!" Liz snapped. "And he's awful."
"Elizabeth, sit down!" Mom growled.
"No. He's terrible."
Gerard’s POV
I never really see Linda mad, but she and Liz seemed very angry at one another. Apparently Liz had been ride to Linda’s new boyfriend. Frank says he probably deserved it because his mom usually picked asses to go out with.
“Example being my father.” He’d muttered when Linda was in the bathroom.
I’ve never really seen any girls cry, either. I mean, I’ve seen them cry but not like Liz was when I was walking through the living room. I stopped and looked at her, and then walked up.
“Hey, Lizzie.”
She looked up and wiped her green eyes. “Hi, Gerard.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting down on the couch by her.
“I don’t like mom’s new boyfriend. She’s just gonna get hurt again.” She whispered.
“Maybe he’s nice.”
“They all seem nice at first, Gerard.” She sniffed. “Then they do the same thing and leave Mom crying. Then Kaylie cries because mom’s sad and I don’t know what to do. When Frankie was home it was different. He knew how to take care of her—of us. I don’t.”
“Frank’s always going to be here to take care of you.” Gerard said.
“If mom gets hurt he’s gonna be here, not at our house.” She said. “I just wish mom would give up or something because it all ends up the same.”
“Maybe it will be different.” I offered again, watching a tear slip out of her green eye. She had Frankie’s eyes.
“I wish Frank had never met you because then he’d be home with us!” she shouted, then ran towards the car. Frank came in then with Linda and they both looked at me.
“She… isn’t too happy.” I said, feeling terrible.
“What did she say to you?” Linda sighed. “She’s being awful lately, I swear.”
“She… didn’t say anything.”
Linda followed her daughter outside. Frank sat down by me.
“Don’t let anything she says get to you. Little kids are brats, you know that.” He said, sliding an arm around me.
“I think she needs you.” I said, laying my head on his shoulder.
“Alright. Go play with Kaylie and Bella?”
“Yeah.” I got up and went to find Kaylie, who was playing with a awaken Anna.
“Kaylie, Anna!” I exclaimed, running in. “How are you two lovely ladies doing today?”
“We is playing dolls, Daddy.” Anna said.
“Ooh. Well, you just continue with that.”
“Otay.” She turned to Kaylie. “My daddy no likes dolls. But he likes my Daddy Frankie. They do things at night.”
My eyes widened.
“Uncle Ray Ray said so.”
“Anna, you’ve got such a good memory.” I said as Kaylie, now about nine I believe, began giggling. “Remind me to kill Uncle Ray.”
“Okay, Daddy. Now run along and do things to my Daddy.”
“You little twerp.” I said, tickling her. I sat on Bella’s bed and watched them play dolls. It’s really boring, too. Now dressing like a girl. That’s something I could have fun with doing with her.
Linda poked her head in. “Kaylie, it’s time to go home.”
“Aww, but Mom!” Kaylie whined.
“Don’t argue or you’ll be in trouble like your sister. C’mon, KayKay.”
Kaylie sighed and hugged Annabelle. “Bye, Annabelle.”
“Bye bye, Kay-bee.”
Kaylie looked at me shyly.
“Can I have a hug?” I asked, smiling.
She nodded and, blushing, wrapped her arms around me.
“Ooh, I love ya sweetie.” I said, squeezing her.
“I love you too.” She giggled. “Bye, Gerard.”
“Bye, babe.”
Almost Three Months Later…
Frank’s POV
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!”
I rolled over, groaning.
“Not yet.” Gerard grunted. “It’s tomorrow.”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!”
I pulled the pillow over my head.
“My birthday is in April.” Gerard groaned.
I felt little hands clawing at me and pulled the pillow down. “You are one annoying little girl.” I groaned.
“Up, Daddy.”
I pulled her up and set her on my chest.
“Happy birthday.” She said more quietly than the first time.
“Tomorrow.” I yawned.
“Daddy, time to wake up. I made you a birthday present.”
“Give it to Daddy tomorrow.”
“It won’t be good tomorrow, Daddy. Come, come, come.” She hopped off of the bed and ran out of the room.
I followed her into the kitchen where there was a big pile of mud on a plate.
“Oh, babe…”
“It’s a mud pie.” She said excitedly. “And I even put in extra worms.”
“Oh, babe…” I said again, not knowing what else to say.
“Is you liking it?”
“I do, babe… I… do.”
“Daddy, take a bite.”
“Daddy can’t eat the mud pie.”
“Why not, Daddy?” she looked at me with big blue eyes.
“Because… erm… it’s too pretty to eat. I’m gonna keep it.”
“Silly Daddy. It’s yummy. I tasted it myself.”
“Baby, when did you make this?”
“This morning.”
“Baby, you can’t go outside without my or Gerard’s permission.”
“Why not?”
“Because every person you meet isn’t gonna be nice to you. When you go out you need to tell me or Gerard, sweetheart.”
“Okay, Daddy.” She said cheerfully.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“No.”
“At least you’re honest.” I laughed, picking her up. “Now since it is eight Daddy’s gonna get some more sleep. And you, my beautiful baby girl, are going to sleep with me.”
“I’m not a baby, Daddy. I’m four.”
“I know, babe. But you’ll always be my baby. Even when you’re my age.”
“Daddy, is you old? How old will you be?”
“I’ll be 23 tomorrow, and no. I’m very young. Daddy, on the other hand, is old. Daddy will be 28 in April.”
“Wow… that’s old.” She giggled.
“I know.” I climbed into bed next to Gerard, who was sitting up. “Come sleep some more with me.”
“Nah, I’m already up.”
Gerard hadn’t slept in too late since… since Bert had forced him into sex. He used to sleep in very late but now that didn’t happen.
“Lay with us at least.” I pouted.
“Pwease, Daddy.” Bella cooed.
“Yeah, pwease Daddy.” I cooed as well.
He laid back down and opened his arms. All three of us cuddled together for a few hours, Annabelle falling asleep about twenty minutes later.
“I love you, Gerard.” I whispered.
“I love you too, Frankie.” He kissed the back of my neck, then my shoulder.
“Have you written any songs lately?” I asked, closing my eyes.
“Some skeletons… I don’t like them too much though. I’m shit at writing.”
“You aren’t shit at writing.”
Annabelle hit me on the head. “Quit talking!” she whined.
I rubbed my head where she had hit me, wincing. “Don’t hit Daddy.”
“Then don’t wake Annabelle!” she curled into my stomach and fell asleep again.
“Rotten little brat.” I muttered, stroking her dark curls. “What happened to her being shy and sweet?”
“She got used to us.” Gerard snorted. “Now she’s acting like we do.”
I hit Gerard upside the head. “I do not act like that.”
Gerard began laughing and I realized that I, like Annabelle, had just hit him.
“Oh… you’re right.”
“I’m always right.” He laughed, kissing my ear.
“I know. I’m the sexy one.” I grinned and tilted my head back to face him. Then I began cracking up because I’m far from sexiest. I mean, I’m chubby and short and he’s… sexy. Sometimes I wonder why he chose me above everyone else in the world. He could have had anyone. And he chose me.
“You still act like a little kid.” He laughed.
“Oh, did I show you the box of skittles I bought?”
“Box?”
“I went to where they make skittles and seduced the workers.” I grinned.
“Aww, I wish I’d seen.”
“Not really. I just paid the fucker twenty bucks and he gave me a box with 40 bags of skittles. It’s very big.”
“So I take it you’ve hidden it from our little trouble maker?”
“Hell yes. She’ll never find it.”
“Where’d you put it? Her underwear drawer?”
“Damn!” Gerard’s POV
A Week Later….
“I really don’t wanna fucking go to dinner to meet this guy who’s gonna end up being an ass anyway.” Frank was growling, throwing on a clean white collared shirt. He buttoned it up, frowning. He always looks sexy mad.
Shut up. Don’t think of fucking him when he’s like this. Sure, he’ll let you. But he’ll fight with you for it later.
“Maybe he’ll be different.”
“Would you quit fucking telling me that? My mother—look, I’m used to this shit. I wish we weren’t fucking here to get dragged into it this time!” he hissed. He was trying to keep his voice down cause Anna was sleeping in the living room. She’d been sick the past few days. “She says they’re all different and they aren’t. Okay, Gerard? They aren’t. This is gonna end up the same fucking thing and I don’t want to be a damn part of it.”
“Look, you could at least be supportive. At least your mom gives a damn about you, Frank.”
“Don’t pull that shit, trying to guilt trip me.” Frank said.
I pulled him into my arms and cradled him to my chest. “You’ve been up with Anna three days straight, Frank. Take a nap.”
“No. I’m not even tired.”
“We’ve got a hour before we need to leave. Try to sleep.” I said.
“No, honestly. Just… just fucking… we’re not going. I’m calling mom and telling her Bella’s still sick.”
“You fucking are not. Annabelle is better and looking forward to playing with Kaylie and your dog. You’re acting like a teenager, Frank. You’re 23.”
“Thanks, Mr. Genius. Now, at least, I know my fucking age.”
“I love you, Frank. But you’re starting to piss me off.”
Frank got off of my lap and stormed off.
An Hour and a Half Later…
Frank’s POV
“Frank, Gerard!” Mom cried, hugging us.
I glared at Gerard before hugging my mom back.
“Daddy and Daddy are fighting.” Annabelle sniffed, wiping her nose. She was still a little stuffy from her cold.
“How are you feeling, beautiful?” Mom asked, scooping her up.
“My nose is stopped up and I keep pooping a lot.” Annabelle said loudly. “Can I go now?”
“Kaylie’s in the kitchen, sweetie.” Mom laughed as Annabelle ran off, yelling “KAY-BEE!”
“Why are you two fighting?” Mom sighed, looking between Gerard and I.
“No reason.” Both of us muttered together. Gerard had his hands crossed over his chest and an angry look on his face. I glared at him again and went after our daughter.
I saw a fairly young man—about mom’s age—with dark hair.
“You must be Frank.” He said, smiling.
I glared at him, and then grabbed Bella’s hand. “You ask Daddy or me before you go somewhere, Bella. You know that.”
“But I just went to find Kaylie!” she whined, and then sniffed.
“Remember I told you about the people that aren’t nice?” I asked softly.
“Yes but its just Grandma’s house, daddy.”
I sighed. “You’re right, baby. Kaylie, watch Bella.”
“Okay, Frankie.” She waved, and then hugged my legs.
“I’m Dan.” The man said.
“Hi…” I said, knowing I sounded hateful. Gerard came up behind me.
“I’m Gerard.”
“Hi, Gerard. I’m Dan.” They shook hands and I glared at the both of them, and then turned to find Liz. She hated him too. At least I wasn’t. This man must be pure evil.
Liz was drawing something when I stepped into her room.
“Is he here yet?” she asked without even greeting me.
“Yes.” I grumbled, sitting next to her on her bed. I looked at what she was drawing. An angel or something. It was really good. I’ve never been able to draw but Gerard is really good at it. “That’s awesome, Lizzie.”
“Thanks.” She sighed.
Gerard came into the room. “Frank, I’d like a word.” He snapped.
“Great.” I muttered, standing up. I followed him into Kaylie’s deserted bedroom.
“He’s nice. Quit being a fucking ass and get over yourself.” Gerard whispered angrily.
“Quit telling me what to do.”
“Frank, I’m gonna carry you down there in a minute.” Gerard said.
“Gerard, I told you. She thinks all of them are nice gentlemen. Why the fuck did you leave Annabelle with him?”
“Linda’s in there, Frank! Why are you being so damn—paranoid?”
“You don’t know what some of her old boyfriends did.” I said bitterly. When I was ten she had a boyfriend that tried things with me. He didn’t get too far because I’d bitten his very hard and kicked him in the balls, but still….
“Frank, what? What did some of her other boyfriends do that were so terrible?”
“Which one to begin with? The one who beat her or the one who tried to touch me? Or the one who called social services hoping to good a good citizen award?”
“W-what? Touch you?”
“Tried. I kicked him in the balls.” I said, looking at him.
“Look… regardless… this man seems nice. And I would never ever put you in danger, Frank. If I thought for minute he’d hurt you, Linda, Anna, Lizzie, or Kaylie I’d fucking kill him myself.” He touched my cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me about her old boyfriends?”
“It’s not friendly stuff.” I shrugged. “And it’s past. At least I thought it had…” I sighed.
He took his hand down from my face, ran it down my arm, and took my hand in his. “Let’s go in the kitchen and help your mom cook.”
I sighed and nodded. When we stepped in there Mom and Dad—the fucker—was helping Mom cook spaghetti.
“My daddy doesn’t eat meat.” Annabelle was telling Dan. “He likes Skittles though. He hides them in underwear drawers. And he plays the geektar too. Only he lays on the ground and has geektar sex with it. That’s what my Ray Ray calls it.”
“Does he?” Dan smiled.
“Uh-huh. The band is Daddy’s Ickle Romance.”
“My other daddy—.” Bella wiped her snotty nose on her sleeve. “Sings into a bike-o-phone. He doesn’t say nice words all the time, though. But I isn’t apposed to say those words. Daddy lets me sing Helena with him though because they isn’t gotting bad words in them. Right, Daddy?”
“Righto, hotshot.” Gerard said, sitting by her.
“When I get older I’m gonna marry my Bob beast and we’re gonna get a castle.” Bella continued.
I sat down on Gerard’s lap and he kissed my neck, causing me to sigh contently.
“Are you two… together?” Dan asked.
Gerard looked up, hazel eyes looking startled.
“They’ve been married almost two years now.” Mom said, smiling. “They went to Canada. That’s where they officially live. But Gerard’s baby brother—Frank’s best friend—Mikey just had a baby and they came to help out.”
“That’s cool. My son is gay. He’s fourteen.”
I looked at Dan. “You’ve got a son?”
“Wife left us when he was five. Big ordeal and we had to move in with my parents until I could afford rent, groceries, all of that. But I hear you boys don’t need to worry about that. My Chemical Romance, huh? My son loves you guys to death. Tried to get tickets a few times, but…” he sighed and grinned. “Sold out first day every time. This time we’re getting up early.”
I smiled, deciding he wasn’t too bad.
“Where is your son?”
“Oh, he’s at home. He’s got an essay due tomorrow and it isn’t exactly done yet. He likes to put things off. But last time he finished it five minutes before time to go to school.” He smiled. “How old is this little one?”
“Annabelle will be five in May.” Gerard said. “We’re working on a time machine though to stop time so she stays this tiny and cute.”
“No we sure as hell are not. I’m ready for her to grow out of her terrible-many-years-that-will-never-end.” I scoffed.
“My daddy’s also got lots of tattoos.” Annabelle said, climbing onto her “big kid” chair. “Some of them are scary. But I likes the angel. And he’s got birdies on his belly. And a pumpkin.” She giggled.
“Really?” Dan laughed.
“Yup. I want one of Pooh Bear but he says no because it hurts. But if it hurts so damn much why does he has so many?”
“Ah! There’s that bad word you aren’t allowed to use!” Gerard said.
“I’m real fucking sorry, Daddy.”
“This really is both of your faults, you know.” Mom laughed. “You cuss like sailors.”
She began piling spaghetti onto all of our plates. “LIZ! DINNER IS DONE!”
Liz came down the stairs ad sat as far away from Dan as she could. Everyone made small talk while eating. Suddenly Annabelle began coughing and her face turned red. My eyes widened and I began to hit her back until she straightened and took a sip of her coke.
“Are you okay, Bella?” I asked, glancing at Gerard nervously. He was standing by us now (he had been by Kaylie and my mom at the other side of the table.), leaning over Bella.
“Probably just went down the wrong tunnel, huh?” Dan asked gently.
“I fine, Daddy. Finish your food, bad boys.”
“You can’t call your daddies bad boys, Annabelle.” Kaylie said.
“I can so!” Annabelle snapped, shoving some spaghetti into her mouth.
“Easy there.” Gerard warned, sitting back in his seat.
“Eat, bad boy!” she said, pointing at him accusingly.
He pointed back. “Eat, bad girl!”
“I is a good girl, Daddy. I have no clue what you is saying.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Don’t you dare fight with her, Gerard.” I warned.
“But it’s fun.” Gerard pouted, causing Liz and Kaylie to giggle.
“Bad daddy…” Bella grumbled.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I put my hand on her back.
“I fine, Daddy.” She nodded at me, grinning. “You can eat now.”
I kissed the top of her head and sat down…
Gerard’s POV
“I don’t believe we agreed to dinner again tomorrow.” Frank groaned, collapsing onto our bed at eleven o’clock that night.
“The son sounds cool enough. Maybe we’ll get to meet him.” I offered, climbing in behind him.
“At least Bella we’ll sleep in tomorrow.” Frank whispered, curling into me. He fit perfectly into my arms—always had and always will.
“Which means we can sleep in tomorrow.” I sighed happily.
“You always get up early anyway.” Frank said, kicking my arm.
“Tomorrow will be an exception…” I whispered, running my fingers through his dark hair.
“G’night, Gee Bum.”
“G’night, Wanker.”
I felt a jab in my side. “Owie!”
“That’s what ya get, meany.”
The Next Day…
Frank’s POV
“This is my son Adam. Adam, I believe you already know who these two are.”
The boy had deep blonde hair and blue eyes. He kind of gaped at us a few seconds, and then turned to his dad. “You were… serious? They… you… her son…”
“Yup.” I said cheerfully. “That’s my mommy that was swapping spit with your daddy earlier.” I nodded knowingly.
“Don’t scare him, Frank.” Gerard whispered.
“H-hi.” The blonde boy, Adam, stuttered.
“Howdy.” I waved. “I’m Frank.”
“I’M ANNABELLE!”
“Fuc—dge!” Adam jumped and looked behind him at Bella.
“Those are my stinky daddies.” She pointed, looking accusing, at Gerard and I.
“And I’m Gerard.” Gerard waved.
“I-I know who you are.” He said. “Do you know how impossible it is to get tickets to your shows? I’ve tried, like, three times!”
“Sorry about that…” I grinned.
“Don’t complain to them, Adam. I’m sure they get that all of the time.”
“Sorry.” Adam looked down, looking embarrassed.
“We like feedback.” I said, hoping to make him feel a little better.
He nodded and disappeared up the stairs. The dinner was at their house and ‘the crew’ and I had ridden with mom. The crew consisting of myself, Gerard, and Bella. So I guess ‘the crew’ and I isn’t accurate.
“I don’t think he likes us….”
Dan laughed. “He’s kinda shy, if you didn’t notice. And he’s going through a tough time now. His boyfriend broke up with him last night while I was at dinner at your house…”
“That sucks…” I said.
Gerard's POV
"Daddy, do I have to eat my vegetables? They is green and icky."
"Yes, you have to eat your vegetables."
"But why?"
"If you don't eat your vegetables all of the Skittles in the world will disappear." I lied.
"The horror!" Frank exclaimed, bringing a hand to his chest. "A skittleless world is a Frankless world."
"Would you really kill yourself because of no skittles?" Adam arched his eyebrow.
"You should've seen him when he was banned from them for a month."
"That was so awful. And to think they were in your underwear drawer the entire time."
"You mean that was true? In the interview? I thought that interview was fake."
"Puh. You should've seen him when the store ran out. He almost beat up the manager."
"Hahahahaha. Did you see his face?" Frank laughed.
Annabelle began to giggle. "Funny face, funny face..."
Gerard’s POV
Later That Night…
“No, Dawn of the Dead is SO much better that than Pansy shit!”
“Is not!” Adam countered. “Shaun of the Dead is much better. I mean, it’s fuc—freaking hilarious!”
"So? Scary movies are much better than comedies. If I wanted to laugh I'd go find Frank. Why watch a stupid movie?"
"That's true, I suppose, but Dawn of the Dead is too gorey.'
"The more, the better!"
(cont. a few min later)
"So... when are you going back on tour?" Adam asked us.
"Well..." Frankie said. "We haven't even thought about it."
"But you guys just left right in the middle of Warped last tear..." he said. "I mean, your arm is better, right?"
"There's more to it than that." Frank squeezed my hand. "Some shit happened and we don't know if we wanna bother with another tour right now..."
"Is MCR quitting?" Adam asked.
"No." I answered instantly.
"Oh, well... that's good. As long as there's hope."
"Adam, I'm sure they don't want to be pestered about MCR. They're on break for a reason." Dan laughed.
"Sorry..." Adam looked down.
"No, it's okay." I assured him. "We need to set out a statement or something anyway. The fans probably think we just dropped off of the face of the earth or something."
"Which we haven't." Frank grinned. "I'm very much alive. See?" he pinched himself. "OWW!"
Annabelle giggled. "Silly, daddy. You isn't apposed to hurt youself. You is apposed to let Daddy do that. Because I know he does. I can hear things."
"Well, then!" I stood and scooped her up. "It's bedtime for Anna."
"Nuht-uh, Daddy. It is still light out."
I covered her eyes. "Well now it's dark and you must sleep."
She bit my hand and glared, putting her hands on her hips. "You is a very bad daddy and you face does not look pretty all red like that. You look like a balloon."
Frank’s POV
“Yes, I think it IS time we go home. Before Bella finds yet another way to embarrass me and rob me of all dignity I have left.”
“Oh, it isn’t that bad.” Mom laughed. “When you were her age you said much worse things about your father and I. You liked to imitate the sounds you heard too.”
“Thanks, mom.”
Frank’s POV
“And that is why I never want to see my mother again.” I said the next morning to Ray as Gerard played with Annabelle.
“That wasn’t that bad. And you got to meet a fan. That’s always cool.”
“He was pretty shy.” I shrugged, taking a drink of my coffee. Damn Gee for getting me addicted.
Of course nothing was more addicting than skittles, but whatever…
“Daddy, no! You almost sat on Bertie!” Annabelle shrieked.
My eyes widened and I looked at Ray.
“Where did you hear that name, Annabelle?” We heard Gerard ask Annabelle calmly.
“One of our neighbors name is Bert, Daddy. He said I could call him Bertie. He helped me make Daddy’s mud pie.”
“Ray…” I whispered. “She can’t be talking about Bert… McCracken, could she?”
“He’s in jail, Frank.” Ray said instantly. “Surely someone would have let you know if he’d been released.”
“I suppose your right.” I let out a huge sigh of relief and felt the color go back into my face as I drank some more coffee.
“And what does this Bert look like?”
“He’s got long hair and tattoos like Daddy.”
“Frank?” I heard Ray ask.
“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I moaned, running to the garbage can and leaning over it.
“Gerard, get in here!” Ray called and I heard Gerard running in. “He’s getting ready to throw up.”
I felt a familiar hand rubbing my back. “Did it go away?”
“It isn’t Bert is it?” I asked hoarsely. I hadn’t thrown up, but still felt sick to my stomach.
“He’s in jail, babe.” Gerard assured me. “Remember? We saw him taken away. He’s in jail.”
“It’s been a year since we’ve been in the states, Gee.” I whispered.
“Look, we’ll go over there and see for ourselves.” He said, standing me up and holding my hand. “Right now.”
“What if it’s Bert? Aren’t you scared?” I asked. “After what he did to you, Gerard—.”
“It isn’t the same Bert, Frankie. You’ll see.” Gee said, sounding so confident. I wanted to slap the confidence right out of him. He doesn’t know who the fuck it is.
“The right side neighbor.” Ray told us. “She just pointed.”
Gerard’s POV
Frank looked a sick white as we walked up the walk to the house. I ran the doorbell, squeezing his hand. A man with shoulder length hair and a few tattoos answered.
“Hi, my daughter thinks she might have kicked her ball into your backyard.” I lied. “I was wondering if you’d found it.”
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “But I’ll ask my room mate Bert.”
Frank looked at me in horror as the man turned around. “Bert, get in here!”
Within seconds a second figure had appeared. Frank let out a huge sigh when he saw the man. He was a bit similar looking to Bert with the hair and tattoos, but most definitely not Bert McCracken.
“Have you seen the little girl’s ball?”
“She your daughter?” the Bert asked us. “Curly hair and big blue eyes?”
“Yeah.” I said.
“She’s a right cute thing, but no I haven’t seen her ball. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.” We turned and, after saying bye, left.
Frank still looked a little sick as we stepped onto our porch. I rubbed my hand up and down his arm, smiling. “It’s okay, Frankie. Bert is gonna be gone for a long time. A long time, sweetie. He isn’t going to mess with us again.”
He nodded and sighed again.
“Are you gonna be okay? You still look like you saw a ghost.”
“I’ll be fine.” He assured me, stepping into the house.
“False alarm.” I announced happily to Ray.
Frank muttered he was going to lie down and disappeared down the hall.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Ray asked, looking after him.
“He’s been under a lot of stress lately.” I whispered so Anna couldn’t hear. “I think this just scared the shit outta him. He’s scared to death Bert’s gonna come back and hurt Anna. He still has nightmares about it, every once in a while.”
“Why don’t you hire security?” Ray asked.
I gave him a look. “Because Bert is in jail. He isn’t going to touch any of us ever again. It isn’t necessary.”
“If it helps Frank sleep at night, don’t you think it might be a good idea?” Ray whispered. “Didn’t you see how pale he was? And he almost threw up. He’s obviously not a little scared. He’s scared shitless, Gerard.”
“I don’t think we need to but I’ll talk to him about it later. Now he just needs some sleep.”
Ray nodded and looked at Anna, playing tea time with her dolls. “So, up for a game of cards?”
“Sure.”
The Next Day…
Frank’s POV
"Daddy, can I ask you a question?"
I was putting butter on toast early the next morning. Too early because my darling daughter got me and Gerard up at five-o-fucking-clock.
"Yes, baby." I said, only half paying attention.
"Okays, I's got more than one Daddy. First of the ball, what is a blow job?"
My eyes widened. "Where did you hear that?"
"Kay-bee and Lizzie." Annabelle said, hanging onto my leg.
"Go ask Daddy."
"He got back in bed."
'I'm gonna kill you, Gerard...' I silently vowed.
"Go get Daddy up, then."
"He said he'd bite me."
“Well you go tell your daddy if he doesn't get his skinny little ass down here by the time I'm done making this toast I'm gonna bite him somewhere where he never ever ever wants to be bitten, okay?" I said sweetly.
"Isn't that rude, daddy? Cause it doesn't sound very nice and I isn't apposed to use that word. You has told me so you's self."
"Well, tell him to get his skinny butt down here."
"Can I at least finish my questions?"
I sighed. "I'd really rather you get Gee first."
"Only a few more, Daddy. Next of the ball, why is you and Daddy togeber? Cause you isn't having a bajinga and neeber is he. Your sex life must be very boring."
“Just go get your father.” I sighed.
“I thought you was my father. Which one of you is my mother?”
“Neither. Go get Gee.”
“I isn’t done with the questions, Daddy!” she exclaimed.
“Go get Daddy.”
She grumbled and stomped off. “DADDY!”
… Five Min Later…
“What the fuck do you want?”
“Your daughter wants to know the status of your sex life.”
“WHAT?!”
“Because neeber you or Daddy has a bajinga, Daddy.” Annabelle explained.
“Yes, Gerard. Neither of us have a bajinga.” I said, giving Gerard a dirty look.
“What?” he exclaimed.
“You talk to her. It’s too early for me to go into gay rights and the human anatomy. Plus, you’re the one who went to college.”
“I went to art school. They didn’t teach you how to tell kids what a penis is.”
“What’s a jebis, Daddy?”
“A jebis—erm, penis is--… Call Linda.” Gerard said.
“I’m not calling my mother!” I exclaimed. “You handle this.”
“Why should I handle this? You’re the one that cuddles her when she cries.”
”And you don’t?”
“I’m not explaining to her that I fuck you up your ass!” Gerard hissed.
“Well I’m not either!”
“Daddy, what’s fucked up your ass mean?”
“Gerard! Don’t say that in front of her!”
“Where did you hear about sex, Anna?”
“Kay-bee and Lizzie.” She repeated, scoffing. “What is a jebus? Can I have one?”
“HA! She learned it from your cretin sisters! You deal with it!”
“Mikey taught her the ‘f’ bomb and I dealt with that.”
“"The f bomb and the penis and vagina talk is in a whole other category, my Frankie Princess."
"Daddy isn't a princess." Annabelle insisted. "What's a jebus daddy?"
"It's what a boy pisses out of." Gerard said.
"But what's it got to do with a bajinga?"
"Call your mother." Gerard whined. "It's too early to fuck with this."
"Lizzie says a vagina gets fucked up." Annabelle squeaked. "But all mine does is pee."
"Gerard, quit answering anything she says. Just leave the room and maybe she won't notice." I said, pushing Gerard towards the door.
"DON'T YOU GO ANYWWHERE, BAD BOYS! YOU IS APPOSED TO BE ANSWERING ME QUESTIONS!" she shrieked, running after us.
"You're the one who wanted kids, you talk to her!" I snapped, pushing him into the bathroom.
"Is you two fucking in there? Cause that's what Lizzie says people do in bathrooms when they is alone with ubber people. Can I watch cause I don't know what it is!" Annabelle called, banging on the door.
"Oh my God. Click your heels three times and say 'I wish she would go away' and maybe she will." I moaned, sliding down the door.
Gerard threw his head back and began laughing.
"It isn't funny. This is a fucking disaster. I'm gonna kill my sisters."
"ARE YOU DONE FUCKING YET, BAD BOYS?!"
"No you won't. Shit, the phone is ringing."
"You go out there. You wanted kids."
"Who turned to goo when she fell asleep in your arms, Princess Frankie?" Gerard arched his eyebrow, smirking.
"Yeah, well she isn't so cute anymore. I think we should take her back."
"Frank! Don't even joke about that."
"Who said I was joking?" I muttered. "Give her to Bob."
“Bob won’t let her spend the night. You really think he wants to adopt her?” Gerard laughed.
“You think this is funny.”
“I know this is funny. Look at us, locked in the bathroom w/ a four year old banging on the door inquiring if we’re enjoying our fuck—yes, Anna! It’s very fun!”
“Don’t encourage her. Let’s just sit here until she like has a seizure or something.”
“How will we know?”
“She won’t be banging on the door anymore.”
“No, Grandma. They can’t talk because their in the bathroom fucking and they says it is fun.” We heard Annabelle say.
"GET OUT GET OUT GETOUT!" I yelped, running towards the door.
"Now Daddy's yelling to get out of him, Grandma. I think Daddy is hurting him."
Gerard twisted the door. "Fuck! We can't get out!"
"Now Daddy says he can't get out."
"Open the fucking door, Gerard. Quit playing around."
"We can't fucking get out, Frank. It's stuck."
"Daddy says he's stuck.”
"Gerard, this isn't funny. Mom's on the phone." I snapped.
"I can't get it fucking opened!" Gerard said, twisting at the knob. "FUCK!"
"Now they're screaming bad words."
"Just try harder."
"I can't try harder. It'll fucking come off."
"Daddy says he can't go harder or it'll come off, Grandma."
“Baby, get off of the phone and call Mikey! Remember his number?” Gerard called.
“Now he wants me to call Mikey to help, grandma. Is that a good idea?”
“BELLA! STOP TALKING TO YOUR GRANDMA!” I shouted, banging the door.
“Now they’re banging on the door, Grandma. It’s really loud and I hear screaming. Daddy wants him to stop but he won’t…”
“Bella! I said to get off the phone!” I shouted.
“He wants me to go call Mikey now. I think they is needing anubber person to fuck too, Grandma."
"BELLA!"
"BE PATIENT, BAD BOYS! AND YOU HAS STILL NO ANSWERED MY QUESTION!"
"Gerard, by fucking God, get this door open now."
"I can't, Frank .She's gonna have to call Mikey or someone. It's not budging."
"Now he says it isn't budging, Grandma."
“GET OFF OF THE FUCKING PHONE AND CALL YOUR UNCLE NOW ANNABELLE!” Gerard shouted.
“They is getting real impatient, Grandma. I gotta go now.” We heard a click, then a “Whoops.”
“Daddy, the phone fell. It won’t turn on.”
I collapsed onto the wall and banged my head against it.
“Daddy’s cell phone is on the bedside table, Bella. Go get it and call Mikey.”
“I’ve gotta tell Grandma I lover her! No!” she yelled. “Just go back to your fucking!”
“We aren’t fucking!” I whined.
“You says that now. But Grandma says she almost pissed herself and she coughed a lot.”
“Great. She probably sent mom into cardiac arrest.” I muttered.
“Frank, if she was laughing and coughing she knows we weren’t really fucking.”
“No! She thought it was funny that you is stuck!” Annabelle said. “Daddy, what’s Grandma’s number.
Gerard told her Mikey’s number.
“Sorry, Uncle Mikey. Me is calling me Grandma, not you… no, everything is fine. Daddy and Daddy are fucking in the bathroom and Daddy Retard is stuck. They keep banging into the door and yelling… yes, I’m serious Uncle Mikey… yes, they says to call you because they need you to join in the fun… no, they isn’t drunk…”
“MIKEY! THE DOOR IS STUCK!"
"Daddy says to tell you he's stuck, Uncle Mikey."
"TELL HIM TO COME OVER! NOW!"
"He says come over now. He sounds tired and croaky. He's been screaming a lot. It can't be too healthy for his age."
"Yes, I'm sure they're okay. They is really enjoying there fuck. Uncle Mikey, what's a blow job?"
"I'll tell you what a fucking blow job is if you tell Mikey to get over here NOW!" I yelled, banging on the door again.
"Now Daddy Frankie wants you too. He says he wants to give you a blow job. What's that mean?"
"Y'know what?" I exclaimed. "I'm never speaking again. In fact, I'm never leaving this bathroom again. Ever. Because every strand of dignity I ever had is now gone."
“Now he says he wants you to come over in a green thong. What’s a thong?”
"I think I'm gonna go hoarse in a minute." Gerard said, weakly kicking the door. "Mikey... help..." he muttered. "Please don't think she's on a suagr high.... come... I'd do it for you."
"You would not." I said.
"So?" he sat by me and I laid my head on his shoulder.
"Now they is quiet, Mikey. I think they had heart attacks."
"Daddy, Mikey wants to know if he needs to bring extra condoms?"
"Do you think Mikey really asked that?" I asked.
"Maybe." Gerard shrugged. "Tell him the doors jammed, Anna!"
"He says he's really jammed in there."
"Gerard? Frank?" I heard Mikey ask.
"The fucking doors jammed, Mikey!" Gerard called, jumping up.
"She says you're expecting an orgy."
"What's an orgy, Uncle Mikey?" Annabelle asked.
"Can you get the door open, Mikey? Please?" I called.
"Are you decent?" Mikey called, laughing.
"WE WEREN'T FUCKING!"
About ten minutes later Mikey was able to open the door.
I looked at Annabelle, prepared to ground her for life. But she looked at me with big innocent blue eyes and giggled.
"You must think you're funny, huh?"
"Nope. I just wanted to know what a blow job is. But now I's got anubber question."
"Oh god." Gerard and I moaned.
"What's it mean to give head?"
I walked back into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, then banged my head against the wall.
"Is Daddy fucking himself?” Annabelle asked.
"Quite possibly."
"Shut the fuck up, Gerard!"
"Oh, what's that? You’re fucking yourself real hard?” I heard my husband laugh.
"Divorce, my lovely husband. Divorce." I yelled.
He went quiet and Mikey and Annabelle began laughing.
Gerard’s POV
“I still can’t believe you got locked in the bathroom again.” I laughed later that night, running my hands through Frankie’s hair.
“Shut up or I’m not gonna have sex with you.” I muttered into his chest. “I’m too tired to anyway. You’ll be lucky to get me to come tonight.”
“I’ve never failed yet, my Princess Frankie.” I grinned at Frank.
He threw a pillow at me before rolling onto his back next to me. “I’m really tired tonight, Gerard.”
“Shall I wake you up?” I grinned.
“No. I’m sorry, babe.” He opened his arms and I snuggled into them.
“We’ll have extra sex tomorrow night.”
“Oh, well.” I smiled at Frank and leaned up to kiss him. “Maybe tomorrow Annabelle will be so worn out from all of her torturing us that she’ll sleep all day. Hmm?”
I looked up again to see Frankie fast asleep, mouth a bit open. I gave him a quick kiss and curled up next to him, falling asleep almost instantly.
Frank’s POV
“You’re hogging the bed.” I shoved at Gerard.
“Why hello, Pretty Boy.”
My eyes snapped open and I looked around the dark room, reaching out to shake Gerard. “Gee, wake up…”
“Hmm?” Gerard yawned, rolling over to face me.
“I had a nightmare about Bert again.” I whispered.
“Do you want us to get a guard to watch the house, babe?” he yawned sleepily.
“Yes, please. We can take it from my part of the check.”
He opened his arms, mouth opening in another wide yawn. I crawled into them and nuzzled my head into his chest, feeling him stroking my hair.
“Just a dream…” he was whispering sleepily. “No one’s gonna hurt you.”
“Earlier when I said I’d divorce you… I was joking, you know? Completely. I would never divorce you, Gerard.”
“I know. I’m the only one willing to wake up in the middle of the night and hold you after a nightmare without making fun of you.” He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. “Go back to sleep, now, babe, so we can get rest before Anna comes in.”
I nodded and slowly drifted to sleep, him singing quietly in my ear. Frank's POV
"DADDDDDDDDDDY!"
My eyes snapped open and I gasped.
"DADDY UP NOW!"
"What, Bella? What's going on?" I asked, reaching a hand back to slap Gerard awake.
"Not now, Frankie. You said no sex tonight and I'm tired..."
"Get the fuck up." I hissed. "Bella, what's going on?"
"I've gotta pee but the door won't open." she said.
"That’s what you woke me up for? You had to PEE?" I sighed, sliding out of bed.
"Uh-huh. It isn't good to have accidents, you know."
I sighed and glared at Gerard, who was laughing.
"Okay, Bella. You can use mine and Daddy's bathroom for now until the door is fixed. C'mon!"
"YAY! I get to use the big boy's bathroom!"
Gerard's POV
I finally quit laughing by the time Frankie crawled back into bed. He glared at me.
"It was supposed to be your turn."
"Suck me." I grinned, turning to face him.
"Suck yourself. That's what you’re gonna be dependant on these next few days.
"I love you, Frankie." I whimpered.
"Better learn to love your hand."
"You wouldn't deprive me of sex because that would deprive you of sex."
"Says who?" he looked at me. "AHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT YOUR FACE! You're like 'What do I say to that?'"
I shook my head.
He fell of the bed, laughing. "Yes, Gee-" he gasped out. "I'm gonna go have sex with your hot sexy brother in his green thong."
"Frank, that... isn't funny."
"So? I'm tired and you know what is funny?"
"What?"
"Your face."
"I think it's about time I call the mental institution. I fear leaving my daughter alone with you. You'll say her face is funny."
Frank continued to giggle on the floor.
"You gonna get up here with me so I can make up for laughing at you?"
He shook his head, collapsing on the floor with more giggles.
"Shit, Frank. Nothing is that funny."
This only made him laugh harder.
"Frankie, you're obviously sleep deprived. Get up here."
He instantly quit laughing. "Okay smokay."
I rolled my eyes and cuddled him. "G'night, Frankie."
He began to giggle again. "G'night, Gee Whiz."
"Lord, what did I get into marrying him?"
Gerard's POV
"Daddy, get up!"
I sat up. "Anna, leave Frankie alone. I'll get up."
"No. I want my Daddy Frankie. You is da one who sleeps in late."
"Frankie needs sleep. I'll make you some pancakes and eggs." I said, picking her up after getting out of bed.
"Otay. But I like Daddy's toast. You always burn it."
"Pshaw."
Ten Minutes Later...
Frank's POV
I was surprised to wake up to Annabelle not screaming DADDY in my face and to Gerard gone. Then I got all sappy feeling because he must've let me sleep which is real sweet. Maybe I won't deprive him of sex.
I went into the kitchen to find him making eggs. I slid my arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I love you, baby."
"Hmm, morning. I'm making pancakes, eggs, and toast."
"I like my toast better. You always burn it." I said.
"Pshaw. No one likes my toast. What do you people think toast is? It's supposed to be burnt."
I pointed to the black toast he'd just pulled out of the oven. "That, my dear, is burnt." I kissed his cheek again.
"Well, THAT is burnt."
"That's what it all looks like, Daddy." Bella said from the table where she was in her kiddie chair booster thing already drinking orange juice.
I began to giggle into Gerard's back, squeezing his waist.
"That is not what it all looks like." he pouted.
"Oh, you're so cute. You make the wonderful eggs and pancakes, I'll make the toast."
"But I like you behind me like that."
I kneed him in the butt and shoved him out of my way. "I was gonna let you off your sex deprivation but now you're gonna have to work again."
"Mmh! That isn't fair!" Gerard pouted.
"Plus, you probably let me in just to get off sex deprivation anyway."
"Who ever said it's the thought that counts?" he grumbled, beginning to make the pancakes again.
"You suck, Gerard."
"I would if my stinky husband hadn't vowed celibacy."
"Hey, I don't stink. And no sex will do you good. You'll have to get used to it if we go on tour again."
"Daddy, you is talking about bad things because you is talking to where I can't hear. Bad boys! And I've gotta pee again."
"I get to use the big boys potty! I get to use the big boys potty!" Annabelle sang as I took her into mine and Gerard's bathroom.
"Well go pee so we can eat."
"I kinda gotta poo too, Daddy." she said unbuttoning her jeans. (Gerard had even got her dressed!) "It may take a while."
"Daddy's gonna go get a book then." I said, opening the door.
"CLOSE IT CLOSE IT!"
"Why?"
"he might see."
"He who?"
"Bert."
"Bert is at his house."
"No. My friend Bert. He's on your bed."
I looked at our empty and unmade bed.
Oh. An imaginary friend.
"Oh, sorry." I closed the door quietly behind me. She could've picked any name but Bert. Any. But nooooo.
I grabbed my book Geek Love by Katherine Dunn and headed back towards the potty room. I could hear her, by God, singing Headfirst For Halos.
"ABAISNT TE BEILING! AND AS GORE--"
"Gerard!" I called. "Go listen outside the door! Go listen!"
He did, arching his eyebrow. He came back a few minutes later laughing. "Interesting interpretation."
"We've succeeded in the corruption! Yes!" I did a jig.
"Does this mean I'm off deprivation?"
"I suppose." I said, kissing him.