Sequel: The Pros and Cons of Living ›
The Pros and Cons of Breathing
Part 3
A Year Later…
Frank’s P.O.V
*Mikey is the only one who knows about Frank and Gee’s relationship. They use Mikey as an excuse to see each other, but he doesn’t mind. Gee and Frank have grown closer and are more in love than ever. (Awww….)*
“Mikey said Gerard could drive me home after the movie is out.” I told my mom into Gerard’s cell phone.
“Is he sure? You two sure do have him run you around everywhere. Does he mind or are you two bullying him into all of this?”
“No, he doesn’t mind mom.” I said while arching as Gerard kissed my bare thigh. I kicked at him playfully.
“If you’re sure… try and call if you won’t be home by eleven, okay?”
“Okay, mom.”
“Enjoy the movie. I love you.”
“I love you too mom. Thanks, bye.” I hung up and let out a low moaned as Gerard slid my boxers down. “Gee, the movie starts in f— ooh— forty minutes.”
“I know.” Gerard grinned and moved down toward the end of the bed.
…
…
“We’re gonna be late.” Mikey grumbled from the backseat.
“No, we won’t. They play tons of credits.” Gerard said happily. He had recently joined an old friend Matt and an even older friend Ray in a band. I was in my own band, Pency Prep, and it was pretty time consuming. Mikey was thinking about joining Gee’s band, but he told me he wanted to make sure Gerard get bored and quit.
I grasped Gerard’s hand and kissed his knuckles. I was so happy that he’s gone a whole year sober and clean. I was still keeping my eye out for any sign of a possible relapse just in case though.
He smiled and me and pulled into the theater. While he parked Mikey ran in to buy the food while I got the tickets.
“Hey, Pretty Boy.”
I felt chills go down my spine and slowly turned to see Bert McCracken, this sort of creepy kid that I went to school with when I was still in public school.
“Oh, it’s you.” I turned back towards the line.
“Why’d you quit school, huh? Now I don’t have anyone’s package to look at during Art.”
I made sure my hoodie, extra large on me, was covering my package as I saw his eyes move down. “Sorry bout that. Next time I have a breakdown and need to get away I’ll remember to think of you, the horny boy who sat across from me in Art.” I snapped.
“Sat? You aren’t coming back? What, did you drop out?”
I sighed, getting annoyed. “No. I’m home-schooled now, okay? Now please stop bugging me!”
“Or what, you’ll get your boyfriend to beat me up?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” I snapped, feeling awful about lying about Gerard like that. Every time had to pretend I wasn’t with him— which, in reality, was all the time. I just didn’t voice it as much— it killed me.
“Sure you don’t. Who’s that person coming up now?”
I turned and saw Gerard coming up. I offered a small smile and he returned, stepping up by me. The line was slowly inching forward.
“So, you’re the boyfriend? Nice catch, Pretty Boy. He must be at least 22.” Bert said from behind me. “I’m Bert, by the way.” He extended his hand to Gerard, who shook it. “Are you naturally that pale?”
“Do you always ask so many questions?” Gerard countered. He tended to have a shorter temper than me, so I wasn’t too surprised he was getting aggravated.
Finally it was our turn in line, I bought three tickets for the latest scary movie, and Gerard and I made our way into the theater to join Mikey…
…
…
Gerard’s P.O.V
I held Frankie’s soft hand in mine as the movie played. It was a disappointment really, so it was no surprise that Frank was half asleep. The only thing good about this movie, I decided, would be the “THE END” before the credits. Hell, they might not even put one of those in.
Frank moved his thumb gently up and down my hand, breathing softly. Looking down his eyes were closed but I could tell he was still awake.
I leaned over towards Mikey. “This movie sucks.”
“I know. We should complain. Or throw those two preps up there making out into the screen.”
I laughed quietly. “Wanna sit through it or leave? Frank’s ½ asleep so it won’t matter to him anyway.”
“Let’s just sit through it.” He whispered back.
Frank then let out a very soft snore and I ran my fingers through his hair. For the next thirty minutes me and Mikey endures a agonizingly boring movie where the only semi good thing that happened was a guy got shot in the head. Even that wasn’t good because the effects sucked.
When the place cleared I shook Frankie gently. His green eyes opened, closed, and then opened again. The beautiful orbs focused on me and then he smiled. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I laughed. “I would have. Trust me, you didn’t miss anything.”
“I’m gonna go on and piss.” Mikey said. “I’ll meet you at the car.”
After Mikey left I was pulled down on top of Frank.
“Let’s not make the whole trip a waste, then.” He whispered in my ear, and then pressed our crotches together. We began to heatedly kiss and I was lifting up his shirt when the door opened and the cleaning people rushed in.
I quickly removed my hands from Frank’s pale chest, hearing him mutter a “Fuck. Every damn time we go to a movie.”
“You two leaving or what?” A worker in a red vest snapped.
“Yeah, yeah.” I said, pulling Frank up. We made our way out to the car, making sure to leave all of our food and trash behind so the mean workers got their payback, but Mikey wasn’t there yet. If we hadn’t been outside we would be naked by now, but instead Frank got into the passenger seat, pulled out The DaVinci Code, and began to read. I saw Mikey approaching the car so I got in and started the engine. Mikey, grumbling about lines and disgusting public bathrooms, climbed into the car. It was 12:34, Frank had yet to call his mom, and I had to get to a band practice at six in the morning. Man, I hated this. But seeing Frank would be worth an entire week of being drop dead tired…
…
…
Frank’s P.O.V
I walked into the house and was face to face with my mom and dad.
“Hey, Dad. What’s up?”
He had a solemn look on his face and he didn’t return my smile or my greeting.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling chills go throughout my body.
“Where were you two days ago, Frank? When you told your mother you were visiting Mikey?”
“With Mikey…” I said slowly, my eyebrow arching.
“I saw Mikey at the bookstore, Frank. I was waiting to talk to you when your father was here.” Mom said.
“He had to leave at four for work and I stayed with Gerard to finish a movie.” I said.
“I saw him at two, Frank. Strike one.”
Damn.
“Now, Frank, we don’t want to upset you.” My father began. “But this has to stop. After last year it is very important that we know the truth about where you are and what you are doing.”
“I’m not going to try to kill myself, Dad.” I said impatiently.
“I didn’t think you were going to start lying to us either.” He countered. “Now we know this has been going on for a while. We thought maybe you would grow out of it but you aren’t. We’ve given you time to get over your problems; we haven’t scolded you because we were afraid of a relapse. But really, Frank… it’s time we confronted you. Where have you been going?”
“To Mikey’s!”
“Don’t yell.” Mom snapped. “Your sisters are sleeping, Frank. All three of know that isn’t true.”
“It is true!”
“So you just sit there while he works, do you?”
“No.”
“Then what? Why be at Mikey’s house if he isn’t there? It isn’t as if you like his mother.” Mom continued.
I opened my mouth, and then closed it. Then I opened it again.
“Is there something going on with you and Gerard?” My mom whispered.
“No.” I tried to muster the most shocked and confused look I can. I could tell mom believed me because she got a defeated look in her eyes.
“Then what, Frankie? Honey, we want to help. Why are you lying to us? Is it drugs?”
“No, mom.” I laughed.
“Then why did you go for killing yourself one minute to lying and being extremely happy the next?”
“It’s been a year, mom.”
“You were happy right after you left the hospital. Frank, if it’s drugs—.”
“It isn’t drugs, mom!” Now I was annoyed. “Look, tonight Mikey, Gerard and I were at the movies. We went to a later showing so I couldn’t call you. I’m sorry. But I’m not on drugs. Dad, you believe me don’t you?”
“Frank, you do… you… how can I say this?”
“I act like a crack head?” I hissed, throwing my jacket at them. “You both disgust me. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. Now I can’t even be happy without being a fucking druggie! Just leave me alone and stay out of my mother-fucking life!” I turned and ran into my bedroom.
“Now what?” I heard my mom say through the vent.
I threw a pillow over it, blocking out their voices. I turned up the Bouncing Souls of my headphones, laid down, and closed my eyes. Eventually, I was asleep…
The Next Day
Still Frankie’s P.O.V
I closed the door quietly behind me as I left the Way house and headed down the street towards my house. It was a fifteen to twenty minute walk to my house so I turned on my Discman, waved to Gerard through the living room window, and headed towards my house. Soon someone had fallen into step with me and I looked up to see Bert.
“Not you.” I sighed, pulling my headphones out. The Misfits blared through them, the only sound minus birds chirping in the quiet nice neighborhood.
“Yes, me.” Bert said cheerfully. “And how is Pretty Boy today?”
“Call me that again and maybe I’ll show you.” I threatened.
“You’re what, two foot four?” Bert laughed. “Hey, your boyfriend ever tell you that you have a sexy ass?”
“Why don’t you ask him that?” I asked sweetly.
Bert blinked a few times, and then smiled cheekily at me. “You think you’re funny.”
“I think your annoying. Does that count?”
“A regular jokester.”
“If I’m annoying you, feel free to leave. I promise you, I won’t mind.”
“Ah… I don’t think so. See, if I do that then I can’t look at that ass.”
“You won’t be looking at my ass anyway.” I said defensively.
“Won’t I? Look, Pretty Boy—.”
“Do you even know my name?” I asked impatiently, interrupting him.
“Of course I do. It’s Frank Anthony Iero. Your mom’s name is Linda, you live 15 minutes away from here, and your boyfriend is Gerard Way.”
“What are you now, a stalker?”
“No. Just well informed.” Bert said cheerfully.
“Go masturbate or something. I’d like some peace before I go home to my—.”
“4 and 5 year old sisters named Liz and Kaylie?” Bert interrupted.
“Okay, man, that’s creepy.”
“No.” Bert corrected. “Just well—.”
“Informed.” I finished.
“Exactly.” Bert placed his hands on my waist.
“Let go.” I said, tensing up.
He ignored me and his hands slid up my shirt and he began to stroke my sides.
“Bert, stop. I don’t like you like that.” I said louder as his hands unbuckled my belt.
He undid my pants and I felt his hand slide into my boxers.
“Stop it! I said stop it!” I shouted, elbowing him in the nose. Blood began to gush everywhere and I took the opportunity to run because he had fallen down in pain. Rather than run home, I turned and ran to Gee’s because it was much quicker. I pounded on the door and a very confused looked Gerard faced me.
“Frank? What’s going on? Why are you breathing so hard?” he asked, pulling me into the house. He was only in black pants and his hair was wet, as if he’d just gotten out of the shower.
“Bert… followed me… wouldn’t go away… touched me…” I panted, reaching for a glass of water he held out to me.
“He what?”
“It’s no big deal.” I said quickly. “I’m sure I just... I mean, he didn’t rape me.”
Gerard kissed me on the lips, then my hands. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just feel dirty.” I muttered quietly. “He knows so much stuff about me it was creepy, Gee. He knew my family’s name, where I lived… I think he’s stalking me.”
The idea sounded absurd out loud. Bert McCracken stalking me? I didn’t get stalked. Did I?
“You should tell your Dad.” Gee said urgently. “Call him and tell him you were walking home from seeing Mikey.”
“He’s mad enough at me as it is for last night.” I said impatiently.
“If you don’t handle this it will get worse.”
“Look,” Now I was getting angry again. “I’ll tell them. Can you just drive me home?”
Gerard looked at me for a few minutes, a startled look on his face, and then nodded. “Just… let me get a shirt on.”
I stayed in the kitchen, holding my self, while Gee put a shirt on. He came down a few seconds after leaving. Without a word I went and got in the passenger seat, hoping Gee would get the message. He obviously did because on the shirt ride to my house he was silent.
“I’ll walk you in.”
“It’s fine.” I said, opening the door.
“I’ll at least walk you up there, then.”
“I’ll be fine.” I snapped.
He got out anyway and led me to the porch. “If you need anything I’ll have my cell on, okay?”
“I’ll be fine, Gerard.” I said in an annoyed voice but couldn’t help but smile. He was so protective of me and I loved it. I felt safe around him, like no harm could fall on me.
“… Anything you need, just call.” He kissed my cheek and headed to his car.
I pushed the door open but rather than tell my parents what happened, I ran straight to my room. It wasn’t like Bert would mess with me twice was it? I hardly think so. Surely he was bored by now…
No One’s P.O.V
When there was a tap on Frank’s window late tat night he, without looking, ran quietly downstairs. Gerard liked to surprise him sometimes by showing up late and night so he automatically assumed it was Gee planning a romantic night out.
He quietly opened the door and stepped out into the night. He was yanked down the stairs of his porch and he fell, yelping. He felt warm blood trickle down his neck and he, shaking, looked up to see Bert.
“What in the—.” Frank shouted.
Bert placed a hand over his mouth and yanked him towards an old car at the edge of Frank’s driveway. Frank began wildly kicking at Bert, biting his hand.
“Calm down, Pretty Boy. I won’t hurt you.” A sly grin spread across his face. “Too much.”
Frank screamed into Bert’s hand as he was shoved into the car. Bert hit him hard across the face and he fell quiet. Bert climbed on him. “Now be a good Pretty Boy and just maybe you’ll enjoy this.” Bert said, taking off Frank’s pants. Frank began to weakly struggle once again, outweighed by the larger teen…
Frank’s P.O.V
“Get your hands off of my boyfriend!”
I had given up struggling and was just lying in the back of the car, waiting for Bert to get bored, trying not to cry.
Bert looked up at Gerard, feigning innocence.
Gerard held out a hand for me to take and, after Bert got up, he lifted me up. “Go on inside and wait for me, baby.” Gee whispered in my ear before handing me my pajama pants and kissing my cheek.
I did go in after pulling on my pants, feeling numb. Had that really happened? No, it hadn’t. That didn’t happen to me. I wasn’t sexually assaulted.
“If you ever— ever—,” I heard Gerard hissing. “Come near my Frank again I will personally kill you.”
“I didn’t do anything he didn’t want.” I heard Bert slur. Would Gee believe Bert? He couldn’t?
“Get away. Leave and never mess with Frank again.”
“What are you gonna do if I don’t listen? If I just march in there and have my way with him right in front of you.”
I heard Gerard punch Bert and I watched through the window, biting my lip so hard I could taste blood.
Bert laughed. He didn’t get angry, he didn’t try to punch back; he just threw back his head and laughed. “Whatever man. There are other gardens to plow.” And then he was gone.
Gerard came in, muttering “At least he pays attention to Shakespeare’s sex jokes.” Then he turned to face me and smiled sadly. “Are you okay? You’re bleeding.”
“I’m fine.” I said, still numb.
“Let’s get you to bed. He won’t be messing with you anymore.” Gee put a hand under my elbow and lead me into my messy and unorganized bedroom.
“Why did you come?”
“I dunno… I just had a weird feeling, I guess.” He kissed my cheek again and laid me down gently on my bed.
I don’t know why but suddenly I was crying loudly into his shoulder, even though Bert hadn’t gotten far enough to do anything too serious. I just felt so overwhelmed suddenly. Gerard rocked me back and fourth, wiping my tears away and whispering sweet nothing’s in my ear until I calmed down about half an hour later.
“I’m sorry I’m being a baby.” I sniffed into his chest.
“You have a right to cry. He hurt you.” Gerard whispered in my ear. “Now how did this happen, baby? Or do you not want to talk about it?”
“He threw something at my window and I thought it was you so I went out.” I sniffed. “I’m sorry I was so mean earlier, Gerard. You didn’t deserve it.”
I felt his soft lips on mine and I felt my problems drift away. It was like by kissing me he, in a way, lifted all the problems off of my shoulder. Now he carried some of the burden.
He pulled away and licked his lips and I reached up a hand to stroke his cheek. This was the first time Gerard had been in my room since I had had my relapse last year, when he’d found my horrible scribbled lyrics inside my William Faulkner book. “I love you, Gerard.”
“I love you, sugar.” He lay next to me and slid his arms around my waist. Usually when we lay together he laid his hands on my ass but I could tell he didn’t want to because of earlier.
“Don’t act different around me, please.” I whispered, closing my eyes. His hands slid down to my ass and I smiled. “Good boy.”
“Hey, you midget!” he teased, rolling me over and attacking my neck with kisses. I let out a low moan, tilting my head against him.
“Not— mmh— a midget. I’m over 4 foot 9.”
“Barely.” Gerard bit down gently on my neck and I closed my eyes, moaning. I felt him break the skin and winced, gasping quietly. He began to suck my blood gently like a vampire, making me laugh.
“Vampy Gerard.” I giggled, reaching a hand back to stroke his beautiful shoulder length hair. Then, against my own free will, I yawned. Gerard pulled away from my neck and rolled me over to face him.
“You’re precious.” He whispered, kissing my cheek.
“If I’m so precious don’t quit kissing me.” I whined, pressing my lips to his neck.
“You need sleep.” He moaned quietly as I kissed across his collar bone.
“My tutor comes at one.” I answered, grinning.
He pulled me up closer to him and rested his hand on my ass. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Stay with me until I fall asleep at least?” I looked up at him.
“Yeah, babe. Of course.” He laid with me, singing quietly and stroking my back with his hand now up the back of my shirt. “Good night. I love you.”
I smiled and felt myself getting light. I was half asleep when Gee slid out from under me. I was too far gone to let him know I was still awake, but awake enough to feel him kiss my cheek and say he loved me. I fell asleep that night at dreamt of him…
Gerard’s P.O.V
That night I lay awake for hours, thinking about what Bert tried to do to Frank. What if I hadn’t woken up and felt the need to go to Frank’s? What if I had slept through that whole damn thing?
You didn’t and that’s what matters. Frankie is safe and sleeping.
I rolled over, now wishing I’d stayed with Frank. What if he had nightmares? What if Bert came back?
Stop it. He won’t. He’s probably drunk and passed out in a bar or something. Stop, Gee.
If I hadn’t made it in time would Frank have turned out as messed up as I have? I mean, he’s as old as I was.
Don’t think about Dad, Gerard. Don’t.
I sighed and eventually fell into a restless sleep. The next morning I ate breakfast and headed straight for Frank’s house. His mom was already gone because there was no car in the garage so I headed up and knocked. I heard running and then the door was open and Frank was staring back at me. He threw his arms around me in a tight hug, jumping into my arms.
“I love you too.” I laughed, going in while holding him. He began passionately kissing me, which shocked me greatly. Afterwards he jumped out of my arms and ran upstairs.
“Frank, how much candy did you have this morning?”
“Just three bags!” he called in a sing-song voice.
“Merlin help us all.” I muttered, following my younger boyfriend into his room.
“I’ve decided that I don’t like sour candy though.” He now had an adorable pout on his face. “Cause you know what happened? Do you?”
“What?”
“Well I ate all three bags, right?” he said hyperly.
“I suppose…”
“And now my tongue hurts.” He finished, fake sniffing. “And now I really need to work off some energy so if you want a blow job, buddy, let me know because I’ll do it after I’m done jogging up the stairs.”
Frank then ran out of his room and, by God, he was running up and down the stairs stumbling every few seconds.
I went down there and scooped him into my arms. “Are you a bit drunk too?”
“Nopey, Gee. Just on a sugar high. Hehe. Sugar high. Sugar is good. Highs aren’t really good but they are at the time. Should I calm down now?”
I nodded, pressing my lips to his.
He pulled away. “Are you sure you don’t want that blow job because I rea—.”
I pulled his lips back down to mine, letting us fall onto the bed…
The Next Day…
Gerard’s P.O.V
When I went over to Frank’s the next day he was over his sugar high and remarkably lazy, just lying on his couch and watching Jerry Springer. I stood in the doorway watching him for a whole minute before he noticed I was there.
“Hey, Gee.” He smiled and opened his arms. I went and lay on the couch by him, my head on his chest so he could still see the TV. I heard a ruckus upstairs.
“Liz and Kaylie.” He muttered, running his hand up and down my back.
“You’re sisters are home?” I whispered. “What if they come down?”
“They’re playing Disney Princess—.” Frank shuddered. “Monopoly. They won’t.”
I nodded and rested against him. “How long did your sugar high last until?”
“Ten minutes ago.” He snorted and his hands began running through my hair. “How long did it take for your boner to go away?”
To our unlucky surprise just before me and Frank were getting ready to have sex yesterday his mother decided to get home from. This resulted in both of us scrambling to get dressed and I sneaking out his window (Thank God his house is one story) with a hard on hard that rivaled all others.
“A cold shower after I got home.” I whispered.
“And you were thinking of me?”
“Of course not. I was thinking of my other boyfriend.”
“Oh, how old is this one? 15? You’ve done a 17 and 16 year old if you count my age change.”
I grinned at him as he looked down at me with an adorable smile.
“And what does he look like, this other boyfriend?”
“He’s very handsome. He’s tall—.” Frank snorted at this, and then pouted. “He’s got blonde hair—.”
“Sounds like a right pansy to me.” Frank laughed.
“I wasn’t done yet.” I teased. “He’s got these gorgeous blue eyes.”
“I think you were done.” Frank said, kissing me.
I pulled away. “Nope. And he’s got a six pack—.”
“If you’re looking for a six pack you might wanna try for a jock, not a couch potato.” Frank kissed me again, and then pulled away. “Does he kiss better than me?”
“Mmh, I’m not sure. Kiss me again and we’ll find out.”
He leaned down to kiss me again, letting his tongue go into my mouth. I massaged his tongue with mine, moaning quietly. He moaned as well and slid his hands up my shirt.
“Frankie! Liz pushed me down!” A small girl’s voice shouted.
“LIZ!” Frank pulled away. “DON’T PUSH KAYLIE!”
“She pushed me first, Frankie! Honest!” Another girl’s voice called.
I kissed Frank’s neck and lightly sucked on his pale skin.
“FRANKIE! SHE KICKED ME!” The first voice called.
Frank rolled his eyes and kissed me quickly. “Maybe you should go so I can watch them.”
I kissed him back. “Maybe I should.” I whispered.
He kissed me back yet again, closing his eyes.
“FRANKIE!”
“I’M COMING!” Frank shouted, pulling away. “Come see me later tonight?”
“I’ve got a practice.” I frowned.
“Alright.” Frank also frowned and looked down. “I love you, Gerard.”
“I love you too, babe. Tomorrow your sisters will be gone, right?”
“Yeah. They’re going to Granny’s.”
“Me and you, all day.” I promised him and the promise was worth it, just to see his small smile. “Bye, baby.”
“Bye, Gee. See you tomorrow.”
The Next Day….
Frank’s P.O.V
I guess I should have expected it, really. I mean Belleview is small. What were the chances I’d never see Bert again? 0.00009% maybe. That still didn’t stop the dread that seeped through me when Gee and I went into Hot Topic and he was there with this kid named Quinn who used to be in my Bio class. Quinn was nice enough to me during that class though and I was kind of shocked he was Bert’s friend. I didn’t comprehend that then, though. I just wanted out and before I could tell Gee Quinn had dragged Bert over to say hi.
“Hey, Frank. Long time no see.” He waved, pushing some blonde hair behind his ear.
“Hi.” I said hoarsely, staring at Bert. Bert, who was grinning sickly at me.
I felt Gee’s hand on my back, rubbing up and down. No one could hurt me as long as Gerard was here. He wouldn’t let them.
“How are you?” Quinn asked. Damn him and his manners. Couldn’t he tell I just wanted to leave? Well, I had dragged Gee in here.
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“Looking forward to graduation next year. Well, Bert and I were just leaving. See you around.” And then they were gone and Gee was leading me back towards the CDs.
I slipped my hand into his and he gave my hand a gently squeeze, flipping through the CDs and looking for the newest Dresdon Dolls CD. I kissed the back of his hand then let his hand go and made my way to the T-shirts. I bought two T-shirts, one (surprise) the Misfits and the other (bigger surprise) the Bouncing Souls. Gee bought three CDs and we made our way towards the food court.
I looked around as we stood in line at the Pizza Hut (the only semi-vegetarian friendly place in the mall) and saw it was pretty much deserted. Then I remembered I didn’t even know what day it was. Gerard was talking but I wasn’t really paying attention, still freaked out by seeing Bert. I think he could tell because he picked up my hand, kissed my knuckles, and then squeezed my hand. We moved up in line and Gerard ordered us a small cheese pizza, even though I know he absolutely loves Pepperoni Pizza. He doesn’t eat meat around me though and that’s one thing I love about him. I rubbed his arm, smiling. We went to sit down, our ticket in hand. I sat very close to Gerard because as far as we knew all of the adults we knew were at work.
Gerard was whispering how much he loved me in my ear while I giggled, feeling all mushy inside, and stroked his cheek. He pressed his lips to mine and my hands slid up to his hair and I began to run my hand through his long black hair.
“Frank?”
I jumped at turned, face to face with my dad.
Still Frank’s P.O.V
“Dad?” I asked hoarsely, jumping up. Gerard also stood, blushing.
“Frank, I think it’s time you got home. I believe I know where you’ve been the last few months.”
“Sir—.” Gerard began.
“No… Gerard, is it? Listen. This is my teenaged son, okay? He’s barely been 17 a month and you turn 23 in April.” My dad said, glaring at Gerard. “Now I thought you were being a friend to my son. Not— not… fooling around.”
“Sir, I’m not fooling around!” Gerard said quickly. “I love your son.”
“He is a teenager and it is already apparent he has mental issues by the scars on his wrists. You are taking advantage of my son for your sexual wants, Gerard. That is all this is. You are taking advantage of a teenager for sex.”
“Dad, that isn’t true!” I shouted, tears filling my eyes. “Dad, he loves me and I love him.”
“Frank, not now. You are never to see this man again, do you hear me?”
I began to cry and not silently. These large gasps where I felt like I would never be afraid to breathe again. Gerard rushed forward, but was cut off by my father.
“It is time you leave my son alone and if you’re smart you’ll keep your brother away too.”
My sobs grew even louder as I shoved at my dad. My boyfriend, my best friend? What else could he take?
“Mr. Iero,” Gerard said. “This isn’t how you were supposed to find out—.”
“No. See. I wasn’t going to find out. Never. You were going to use my son until you got bored, and then leave him. Then he would have slipped back into depression or, God forbid, killed himself. So he’s leaving you. Come on now, Frank.”
“Dad!” I sobbed, looking at Gerard. “You never listen to what I want! I’m happy!”
“You’ll be much happier without this drug addict and alcoholic holding you back. Now come on.” And then I was roughly pulled out of the mall and shoved into my Dad’s car.
A Week Later…
Frank’s P.O.V
“He won’t leave his room, he won’t eat, he won’t shower, he won’t even read, Anthony.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I had the energy to stand from my “Bed o’ Pain” and cover the vent to block out my mom’s voice.
“I think he’s been in the bed since he came home. He isn’t even taking the medicine his therapist put him on.”
I felt a fresh batch of tears come to my eyes, as they had randomly been coming since I was cruelly ripped from the mall and the love of my life seven— was it really only seven?— days ago. Of course Dad told mom and while she was mad, I think she was mad that I didn’t tell her. She’s been letting Mikey over and he’s tried cheering me up but it isn’t working.
“I can’t force him to take anything, Anthony! No, I don’t want you to come. Frankly because you caused this! So he has a boyfriend? Yes, I’m aware we’re Catholic… Anthony, Frank is my son. My very smart and beautiful son who makes good choices for the most part…”
This made me cry even harder as I looked at the bottle of antidepressants my therapist prescribed six months ago to keep me happy. Truth is, I’d never taken one. I had six bottles in my drawer hidden and a full bottle by my bed. Inside my drawer was a bottle of Vodka which, if things went according to plan, would accompany a whole bottle of Prozac tonight after everyone was asleep. This time, though, I planned on succeeding. If I couldn’t have Gee there was nothing for me in this world, simple enough.
I took a deep breath and looked around my room, knowing that after today I would never see these posters again. Or my desk, or bed, or books, or my chair or— most heartbreaking— my guitars. I got out of bed, the first time all week, and crossed over to my guitars. I picked my favorite one, Pansy, up and began to play a tune I’d had in my head. This would be the last song on guitar I’d ever play, so I’d better make it good.
“Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold.”
Gerard’s P.O.V
“Gerard, we have to get to the hospital now!”
My eyes snapped open and my brother slowly came into focus. “Mikey?”
“Frank’s on his way now. He OD’d on his antidepressants. I should have known this would happen, Gerard! He was acting so much weirder, even for the last few days.”
I was out of bed in an instant and grabbing a jacket, not caring that I was only in my pajamas. Mikey and I ran to my car and got in and I drove as fast as I could toward the nearest hospital, Mikey filling me in on what had happened.
Much similar to last year, Frank had tried to kill himself when no one was around. Only this time he’d went into the bathroom and swallowed a whole bottle of Prozac. Two full bottles lay next to him, obviously there if the first 33 pills didn’t do the trick. He had collapsed, banging his head on the sink. His mom had heard and rushed in to find him lying in a puddle of blood with an empty Prozac bottle next to his hand. She’d called 911 and, once she had got to the hospital, called Mikey.
We ran into the waiting room and I saw Linda, and then remembered. She probably hated me for what I’d supposedly done to Frankie. With how worried I was I had completely forgot they all hated my guts.
But when she saw me she collapsed into tears and threw her arms around me, sobbing she was sorry for allowing Frank’s dad to try to keep us apart. I told her it was okay and hugged her back as she, still sobbing, told me Frankie was in a coma and in the ICU. The doctors had told us, minutes before my and Mikey’s arrival, that Frank only had a 50% chance of ever waking up.
Frank’s P.O.V
*Mikey is the only one who knows about Frank and Gee’s relationship. They use Mikey as an excuse to see each other, but he doesn’t mind. Gee and Frank have grown closer and are more in love than ever. (Awww….)*
“Mikey said Gerard could drive me home after the movie is out.” I told my mom into Gerard’s cell phone.
“Is he sure? You two sure do have him run you around everywhere. Does he mind or are you two bullying him into all of this?”
“No, he doesn’t mind mom.” I said while arching as Gerard kissed my bare thigh. I kicked at him playfully.
“If you’re sure… try and call if you won’t be home by eleven, okay?”
“Okay, mom.”
“Enjoy the movie. I love you.”
“I love you too mom. Thanks, bye.” I hung up and let out a low moaned as Gerard slid my boxers down. “Gee, the movie starts in f— ooh— forty minutes.”
“I know.” Gerard grinned and moved down toward the end of the bed.
…
…
“We’re gonna be late.” Mikey grumbled from the backseat.
“No, we won’t. They play tons of credits.” Gerard said happily. He had recently joined an old friend Matt and an even older friend Ray in a band. I was in my own band, Pency Prep, and it was pretty time consuming. Mikey was thinking about joining Gee’s band, but he told me he wanted to make sure Gerard get bored and quit.
I grasped Gerard’s hand and kissed his knuckles. I was so happy that he’s gone a whole year sober and clean. I was still keeping my eye out for any sign of a possible relapse just in case though.
He smiled and me and pulled into the theater. While he parked Mikey ran in to buy the food while I got the tickets.
“Hey, Pretty Boy.”
I felt chills go down my spine and slowly turned to see Bert McCracken, this sort of creepy kid that I went to school with when I was still in public school.
“Oh, it’s you.” I turned back towards the line.
“Why’d you quit school, huh? Now I don’t have anyone’s package to look at during Art.”
I made sure my hoodie, extra large on me, was covering my package as I saw his eyes move down. “Sorry bout that. Next time I have a breakdown and need to get away I’ll remember to think of you, the horny boy who sat across from me in Art.” I snapped.
“Sat? You aren’t coming back? What, did you drop out?”
I sighed, getting annoyed. “No. I’m home-schooled now, okay? Now please stop bugging me!”
“Or what, you’ll get your boyfriend to beat me up?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” I snapped, feeling awful about lying about Gerard like that. Every time had to pretend I wasn’t with him— which, in reality, was all the time. I just didn’t voice it as much— it killed me.
“Sure you don’t. Who’s that person coming up now?”
I turned and saw Gerard coming up. I offered a small smile and he returned, stepping up by me. The line was slowly inching forward.
“So, you’re the boyfriend? Nice catch, Pretty Boy. He must be at least 22.” Bert said from behind me. “I’m Bert, by the way.” He extended his hand to Gerard, who shook it. “Are you naturally that pale?”
“Do you always ask so many questions?” Gerard countered. He tended to have a shorter temper than me, so I wasn’t too surprised he was getting aggravated.
Finally it was our turn in line, I bought three tickets for the latest scary movie, and Gerard and I made our way into the theater to join Mikey…
…
…
Gerard’s P.O.V
I held Frankie’s soft hand in mine as the movie played. It was a disappointment really, so it was no surprise that Frank was half asleep. The only thing good about this movie, I decided, would be the “THE END” before the credits. Hell, they might not even put one of those in.
Frank moved his thumb gently up and down my hand, breathing softly. Looking down his eyes were closed but I could tell he was still awake.
I leaned over towards Mikey. “This movie sucks.”
“I know. We should complain. Or throw those two preps up there making out into the screen.”
I laughed quietly. “Wanna sit through it or leave? Frank’s ½ asleep so it won’t matter to him anyway.”
“Let’s just sit through it.” He whispered back.
Frank then let out a very soft snore and I ran my fingers through his hair. For the next thirty minutes me and Mikey endures a agonizingly boring movie where the only semi good thing that happened was a guy got shot in the head. Even that wasn’t good because the effects sucked.
When the place cleared I shook Frankie gently. His green eyes opened, closed, and then opened again. The beautiful orbs focused on me and then he smiled. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I laughed. “I would have. Trust me, you didn’t miss anything.”
“I’m gonna go on and piss.” Mikey said. “I’ll meet you at the car.”
After Mikey left I was pulled down on top of Frank.
“Let’s not make the whole trip a waste, then.” He whispered in my ear, and then pressed our crotches together. We began to heatedly kiss and I was lifting up his shirt when the door opened and the cleaning people rushed in.
I quickly removed my hands from Frank’s pale chest, hearing him mutter a “Fuck. Every damn time we go to a movie.”
“You two leaving or what?” A worker in a red vest snapped.
“Yeah, yeah.” I said, pulling Frank up. We made our way out to the car, making sure to leave all of our food and trash behind so the mean workers got their payback, but Mikey wasn’t there yet. If we hadn’t been outside we would be naked by now, but instead Frank got into the passenger seat, pulled out The DaVinci Code, and began to read. I saw Mikey approaching the car so I got in and started the engine. Mikey, grumbling about lines and disgusting public bathrooms, climbed into the car. It was 12:34, Frank had yet to call his mom, and I had to get to a band practice at six in the morning. Man, I hated this. But seeing Frank would be worth an entire week of being drop dead tired…
…
…
Frank’s P.O.V
I walked into the house and was face to face with my mom and dad.
“Hey, Dad. What’s up?”
He had a solemn look on his face and he didn’t return my smile or my greeting.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling chills go throughout my body.
“Where were you two days ago, Frank? When you told your mother you were visiting Mikey?”
“With Mikey…” I said slowly, my eyebrow arching.
“I saw Mikey at the bookstore, Frank. I was waiting to talk to you when your father was here.” Mom said.
“He had to leave at four for work and I stayed with Gerard to finish a movie.” I said.
“I saw him at two, Frank. Strike one.”
Damn.
“Now, Frank, we don’t want to upset you.” My father began. “But this has to stop. After last year it is very important that we know the truth about where you are and what you are doing.”
“I’m not going to try to kill myself, Dad.” I said impatiently.
“I didn’t think you were going to start lying to us either.” He countered. “Now we know this has been going on for a while. We thought maybe you would grow out of it but you aren’t. We’ve given you time to get over your problems; we haven’t scolded you because we were afraid of a relapse. But really, Frank… it’s time we confronted you. Where have you been going?”
“To Mikey’s!”
“Don’t yell.” Mom snapped. “Your sisters are sleeping, Frank. All three of know that isn’t true.”
“It is true!”
“So you just sit there while he works, do you?”
“No.”
“Then what? Why be at Mikey’s house if he isn’t there? It isn’t as if you like his mother.” Mom continued.
I opened my mouth, and then closed it. Then I opened it again.
“Is there something going on with you and Gerard?” My mom whispered.
“No.” I tried to muster the most shocked and confused look I can. I could tell mom believed me because she got a defeated look in her eyes.
“Then what, Frankie? Honey, we want to help. Why are you lying to us? Is it drugs?”
“No, mom.” I laughed.
“Then why did you go for killing yourself one minute to lying and being extremely happy the next?”
“It’s been a year, mom.”
“You were happy right after you left the hospital. Frank, if it’s drugs—.”
“It isn’t drugs, mom!” Now I was annoyed. “Look, tonight Mikey, Gerard and I were at the movies. We went to a later showing so I couldn’t call you. I’m sorry. But I’m not on drugs. Dad, you believe me don’t you?”
“Frank, you do… you… how can I say this?”
“I act like a crack head?” I hissed, throwing my jacket at them. “You both disgust me. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. Now I can’t even be happy without being a fucking druggie! Just leave me alone and stay out of my mother-fucking life!” I turned and ran into my bedroom.
“Now what?” I heard my mom say through the vent.
I threw a pillow over it, blocking out their voices. I turned up the Bouncing Souls of my headphones, laid down, and closed my eyes. Eventually, I was asleep…
The Next Day
Still Frankie’s P.O.V
I closed the door quietly behind me as I left the Way house and headed down the street towards my house. It was a fifteen to twenty minute walk to my house so I turned on my Discman, waved to Gerard through the living room window, and headed towards my house. Soon someone had fallen into step with me and I looked up to see Bert.
“Not you.” I sighed, pulling my headphones out. The Misfits blared through them, the only sound minus birds chirping in the quiet nice neighborhood.
“Yes, me.” Bert said cheerfully. “And how is Pretty Boy today?”
“Call me that again and maybe I’ll show you.” I threatened.
“You’re what, two foot four?” Bert laughed. “Hey, your boyfriend ever tell you that you have a sexy ass?”
“Why don’t you ask him that?” I asked sweetly.
Bert blinked a few times, and then smiled cheekily at me. “You think you’re funny.”
“I think your annoying. Does that count?”
“A regular jokester.”
“If I’m annoying you, feel free to leave. I promise you, I won’t mind.”
“Ah… I don’t think so. See, if I do that then I can’t look at that ass.”
“You won’t be looking at my ass anyway.” I said defensively.
“Won’t I? Look, Pretty Boy—.”
“Do you even know my name?” I asked impatiently, interrupting him.
“Of course I do. It’s Frank Anthony Iero. Your mom’s name is Linda, you live 15 minutes away from here, and your boyfriend is Gerard Way.”
“What are you now, a stalker?”
“No. Just well informed.” Bert said cheerfully.
“Go masturbate or something. I’d like some peace before I go home to my—.”
“4 and 5 year old sisters named Liz and Kaylie?” Bert interrupted.
“Okay, man, that’s creepy.”
“No.” Bert corrected. “Just well—.”
“Informed.” I finished.
“Exactly.” Bert placed his hands on my waist.
“Let go.” I said, tensing up.
He ignored me and his hands slid up my shirt and he began to stroke my sides.
“Bert, stop. I don’t like you like that.” I said louder as his hands unbuckled my belt.
He undid my pants and I felt his hand slide into my boxers.
“Stop it! I said stop it!” I shouted, elbowing him in the nose. Blood began to gush everywhere and I took the opportunity to run because he had fallen down in pain. Rather than run home, I turned and ran to Gee’s because it was much quicker. I pounded on the door and a very confused looked Gerard faced me.
“Frank? What’s going on? Why are you breathing so hard?” he asked, pulling me into the house. He was only in black pants and his hair was wet, as if he’d just gotten out of the shower.
“Bert… followed me… wouldn’t go away… touched me…” I panted, reaching for a glass of water he held out to me.
“He what?”
“It’s no big deal.” I said quickly. “I’m sure I just... I mean, he didn’t rape me.”
Gerard kissed me on the lips, then my hands. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just feel dirty.” I muttered quietly. “He knows so much stuff about me it was creepy, Gee. He knew my family’s name, where I lived… I think he’s stalking me.”
The idea sounded absurd out loud. Bert McCracken stalking me? I didn’t get stalked. Did I?
“You should tell your Dad.” Gee said urgently. “Call him and tell him you were walking home from seeing Mikey.”
“He’s mad enough at me as it is for last night.” I said impatiently.
“If you don’t handle this it will get worse.”
“Look,” Now I was getting angry again. “I’ll tell them. Can you just drive me home?”
Gerard looked at me for a few minutes, a startled look on his face, and then nodded. “Just… let me get a shirt on.”
I stayed in the kitchen, holding my self, while Gee put a shirt on. He came down a few seconds after leaving. Without a word I went and got in the passenger seat, hoping Gee would get the message. He obviously did because on the shirt ride to my house he was silent.
“I’ll walk you in.”
“It’s fine.” I said, opening the door.
“I’ll at least walk you up there, then.”
“I’ll be fine.” I snapped.
He got out anyway and led me to the porch. “If you need anything I’ll have my cell on, okay?”
“I’ll be fine, Gerard.” I said in an annoyed voice but couldn’t help but smile. He was so protective of me and I loved it. I felt safe around him, like no harm could fall on me.
“… Anything you need, just call.” He kissed my cheek and headed to his car.
I pushed the door open but rather than tell my parents what happened, I ran straight to my room. It wasn’t like Bert would mess with me twice was it? I hardly think so. Surely he was bored by now…
No One’s P.O.V
When there was a tap on Frank’s window late tat night he, without looking, ran quietly downstairs. Gerard liked to surprise him sometimes by showing up late and night so he automatically assumed it was Gee planning a romantic night out.
He quietly opened the door and stepped out into the night. He was yanked down the stairs of his porch and he fell, yelping. He felt warm blood trickle down his neck and he, shaking, looked up to see Bert.
“What in the—.” Frank shouted.
Bert placed a hand over his mouth and yanked him towards an old car at the edge of Frank’s driveway. Frank began wildly kicking at Bert, biting his hand.
“Calm down, Pretty Boy. I won’t hurt you.” A sly grin spread across his face. “Too much.”
Frank screamed into Bert’s hand as he was shoved into the car. Bert hit him hard across the face and he fell quiet. Bert climbed on him. “Now be a good Pretty Boy and just maybe you’ll enjoy this.” Bert said, taking off Frank’s pants. Frank began to weakly struggle once again, outweighed by the larger teen…
Frank’s P.O.V
“Get your hands off of my boyfriend!”
I had given up struggling and was just lying in the back of the car, waiting for Bert to get bored, trying not to cry.
Bert looked up at Gerard, feigning innocence.
Gerard held out a hand for me to take and, after Bert got up, he lifted me up. “Go on inside and wait for me, baby.” Gee whispered in my ear before handing me my pajama pants and kissing my cheek.
I did go in after pulling on my pants, feeling numb. Had that really happened? No, it hadn’t. That didn’t happen to me. I wasn’t sexually assaulted.
“If you ever— ever—,” I heard Gerard hissing. “Come near my Frank again I will personally kill you.”
“I didn’t do anything he didn’t want.” I heard Bert slur. Would Gee believe Bert? He couldn’t?
“Get away. Leave and never mess with Frank again.”
“What are you gonna do if I don’t listen? If I just march in there and have my way with him right in front of you.”
I heard Gerard punch Bert and I watched through the window, biting my lip so hard I could taste blood.
Bert laughed. He didn’t get angry, he didn’t try to punch back; he just threw back his head and laughed. “Whatever man. There are other gardens to plow.” And then he was gone.
Gerard came in, muttering “At least he pays attention to Shakespeare’s sex jokes.” Then he turned to face me and smiled sadly. “Are you okay? You’re bleeding.”
“I’m fine.” I said, still numb.
“Let’s get you to bed. He won’t be messing with you anymore.” Gee put a hand under my elbow and lead me into my messy and unorganized bedroom.
“Why did you come?”
“I dunno… I just had a weird feeling, I guess.” He kissed my cheek again and laid me down gently on my bed.
I don’t know why but suddenly I was crying loudly into his shoulder, even though Bert hadn’t gotten far enough to do anything too serious. I just felt so overwhelmed suddenly. Gerard rocked me back and fourth, wiping my tears away and whispering sweet nothing’s in my ear until I calmed down about half an hour later.
“I’m sorry I’m being a baby.” I sniffed into his chest.
“You have a right to cry. He hurt you.” Gerard whispered in my ear. “Now how did this happen, baby? Or do you not want to talk about it?”
“He threw something at my window and I thought it was you so I went out.” I sniffed. “I’m sorry I was so mean earlier, Gerard. You didn’t deserve it.”
I felt his soft lips on mine and I felt my problems drift away. It was like by kissing me he, in a way, lifted all the problems off of my shoulder. Now he carried some of the burden.
He pulled away and licked his lips and I reached up a hand to stroke his cheek. This was the first time Gerard had been in my room since I had had my relapse last year, when he’d found my horrible scribbled lyrics inside my William Faulkner book. “I love you, Gerard.”
“I love you, sugar.” He lay next to me and slid his arms around my waist. Usually when we lay together he laid his hands on my ass but I could tell he didn’t want to because of earlier.
“Don’t act different around me, please.” I whispered, closing my eyes. His hands slid down to my ass and I smiled. “Good boy.”
“Hey, you midget!” he teased, rolling me over and attacking my neck with kisses. I let out a low moan, tilting my head against him.
“Not— mmh— a midget. I’m over 4 foot 9.”
“Barely.” Gerard bit down gently on my neck and I closed my eyes, moaning. I felt him break the skin and winced, gasping quietly. He began to suck my blood gently like a vampire, making me laugh.
“Vampy Gerard.” I giggled, reaching a hand back to stroke his beautiful shoulder length hair. Then, against my own free will, I yawned. Gerard pulled away from my neck and rolled me over to face him.
“You’re precious.” He whispered, kissing my cheek.
“If I’m so precious don’t quit kissing me.” I whined, pressing my lips to his neck.
“You need sleep.” He moaned quietly as I kissed across his collar bone.
“My tutor comes at one.” I answered, grinning.
He pulled me up closer to him and rested his hand on my ass. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Stay with me until I fall asleep at least?” I looked up at him.
“Yeah, babe. Of course.” He laid with me, singing quietly and stroking my back with his hand now up the back of my shirt. “Good night. I love you.”
I smiled and felt myself getting light. I was half asleep when Gee slid out from under me. I was too far gone to let him know I was still awake, but awake enough to feel him kiss my cheek and say he loved me. I fell asleep that night at dreamt of him…
Gerard’s P.O.V
That night I lay awake for hours, thinking about what Bert tried to do to Frank. What if I hadn’t woken up and felt the need to go to Frank’s? What if I had slept through that whole damn thing?
You didn’t and that’s what matters. Frankie is safe and sleeping.
I rolled over, now wishing I’d stayed with Frank. What if he had nightmares? What if Bert came back?
Stop it. He won’t. He’s probably drunk and passed out in a bar or something. Stop, Gee.
If I hadn’t made it in time would Frank have turned out as messed up as I have? I mean, he’s as old as I was.
Don’t think about Dad, Gerard. Don’t.
I sighed and eventually fell into a restless sleep. The next morning I ate breakfast and headed straight for Frank’s house. His mom was already gone because there was no car in the garage so I headed up and knocked. I heard running and then the door was open and Frank was staring back at me. He threw his arms around me in a tight hug, jumping into my arms.
“I love you too.” I laughed, going in while holding him. He began passionately kissing me, which shocked me greatly. Afterwards he jumped out of my arms and ran upstairs.
“Frank, how much candy did you have this morning?”
“Just three bags!” he called in a sing-song voice.
“Merlin help us all.” I muttered, following my younger boyfriend into his room.
“I’ve decided that I don’t like sour candy though.” He now had an adorable pout on his face. “Cause you know what happened? Do you?”
“What?”
“Well I ate all three bags, right?” he said hyperly.
“I suppose…”
“And now my tongue hurts.” He finished, fake sniffing. “And now I really need to work off some energy so if you want a blow job, buddy, let me know because I’ll do it after I’m done jogging up the stairs.”
Frank then ran out of his room and, by God, he was running up and down the stairs stumbling every few seconds.
I went down there and scooped him into my arms. “Are you a bit drunk too?”
“Nopey, Gee. Just on a sugar high. Hehe. Sugar high. Sugar is good. Highs aren’t really good but they are at the time. Should I calm down now?”
I nodded, pressing my lips to his.
He pulled away. “Are you sure you don’t want that blow job because I rea—.”
I pulled his lips back down to mine, letting us fall onto the bed…
The Next Day…
Gerard’s P.O.V
When I went over to Frank’s the next day he was over his sugar high and remarkably lazy, just lying on his couch and watching Jerry Springer. I stood in the doorway watching him for a whole minute before he noticed I was there.
“Hey, Gee.” He smiled and opened his arms. I went and lay on the couch by him, my head on his chest so he could still see the TV. I heard a ruckus upstairs.
“Liz and Kaylie.” He muttered, running his hand up and down my back.
“You’re sisters are home?” I whispered. “What if they come down?”
“They’re playing Disney Princess—.” Frank shuddered. “Monopoly. They won’t.”
I nodded and rested against him. “How long did your sugar high last until?”
“Ten minutes ago.” He snorted and his hands began running through my hair. “How long did it take for your boner to go away?”
To our unlucky surprise just before me and Frank were getting ready to have sex yesterday his mother decided to get home from. This resulted in both of us scrambling to get dressed and I sneaking out his window (Thank God his house is one story) with a hard on hard that rivaled all others.
“A cold shower after I got home.” I whispered.
“And you were thinking of me?”
“Of course not. I was thinking of my other boyfriend.”
“Oh, how old is this one? 15? You’ve done a 17 and 16 year old if you count my age change.”
I grinned at him as he looked down at me with an adorable smile.
“And what does he look like, this other boyfriend?”
“He’s very handsome. He’s tall—.” Frank snorted at this, and then pouted. “He’s got blonde hair—.”
“Sounds like a right pansy to me.” Frank laughed.
“I wasn’t done yet.” I teased. “He’s got these gorgeous blue eyes.”
“I think you were done.” Frank said, kissing me.
I pulled away. “Nope. And he’s got a six pack—.”
“If you’re looking for a six pack you might wanna try for a jock, not a couch potato.” Frank kissed me again, and then pulled away. “Does he kiss better than me?”
“Mmh, I’m not sure. Kiss me again and we’ll find out.”
He leaned down to kiss me again, letting his tongue go into my mouth. I massaged his tongue with mine, moaning quietly. He moaned as well and slid his hands up my shirt.
“Frankie! Liz pushed me down!” A small girl’s voice shouted.
“LIZ!” Frank pulled away. “DON’T PUSH KAYLIE!”
“She pushed me first, Frankie! Honest!” Another girl’s voice called.
I kissed Frank’s neck and lightly sucked on his pale skin.
“FRANKIE! SHE KICKED ME!” The first voice called.
Frank rolled his eyes and kissed me quickly. “Maybe you should go so I can watch them.”
I kissed him back. “Maybe I should.” I whispered.
He kissed me back yet again, closing his eyes.
“FRANKIE!”
“I’M COMING!” Frank shouted, pulling away. “Come see me later tonight?”
“I’ve got a practice.” I frowned.
“Alright.” Frank also frowned and looked down. “I love you, Gerard.”
“I love you too, babe. Tomorrow your sisters will be gone, right?”
“Yeah. They’re going to Granny’s.”
“Me and you, all day.” I promised him and the promise was worth it, just to see his small smile. “Bye, baby.”
“Bye, Gee. See you tomorrow.”
The Next Day….
Frank’s P.O.V
I guess I should have expected it, really. I mean Belleview is small. What were the chances I’d never see Bert again? 0.00009% maybe. That still didn’t stop the dread that seeped through me when Gee and I went into Hot Topic and he was there with this kid named Quinn who used to be in my Bio class. Quinn was nice enough to me during that class though and I was kind of shocked he was Bert’s friend. I didn’t comprehend that then, though. I just wanted out and before I could tell Gee Quinn had dragged Bert over to say hi.
“Hey, Frank. Long time no see.” He waved, pushing some blonde hair behind his ear.
“Hi.” I said hoarsely, staring at Bert. Bert, who was grinning sickly at me.
I felt Gee’s hand on my back, rubbing up and down. No one could hurt me as long as Gerard was here. He wouldn’t let them.
“How are you?” Quinn asked. Damn him and his manners. Couldn’t he tell I just wanted to leave? Well, I had dragged Gee in here.
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“Looking forward to graduation next year. Well, Bert and I were just leaving. See you around.” And then they were gone and Gee was leading me back towards the CDs.
I slipped my hand into his and he gave my hand a gently squeeze, flipping through the CDs and looking for the newest Dresdon Dolls CD. I kissed the back of his hand then let his hand go and made my way to the T-shirts. I bought two T-shirts, one (surprise) the Misfits and the other (bigger surprise) the Bouncing Souls. Gee bought three CDs and we made our way towards the food court.
I looked around as we stood in line at the Pizza Hut (the only semi-vegetarian friendly place in the mall) and saw it was pretty much deserted. Then I remembered I didn’t even know what day it was. Gerard was talking but I wasn’t really paying attention, still freaked out by seeing Bert. I think he could tell because he picked up my hand, kissed my knuckles, and then squeezed my hand. We moved up in line and Gerard ordered us a small cheese pizza, even though I know he absolutely loves Pepperoni Pizza. He doesn’t eat meat around me though and that’s one thing I love about him. I rubbed his arm, smiling. We went to sit down, our ticket in hand. I sat very close to Gerard because as far as we knew all of the adults we knew were at work.
Gerard was whispering how much he loved me in my ear while I giggled, feeling all mushy inside, and stroked his cheek. He pressed his lips to mine and my hands slid up to his hair and I began to run my hand through his long black hair.
“Frank?”
I jumped at turned, face to face with my dad.
Still Frank’s P.O.V
“Dad?” I asked hoarsely, jumping up. Gerard also stood, blushing.
“Frank, I think it’s time you got home. I believe I know where you’ve been the last few months.”
“Sir—.” Gerard began.
“No… Gerard, is it? Listen. This is my teenaged son, okay? He’s barely been 17 a month and you turn 23 in April.” My dad said, glaring at Gerard. “Now I thought you were being a friend to my son. Not— not… fooling around.”
“Sir, I’m not fooling around!” Gerard said quickly. “I love your son.”
“He is a teenager and it is already apparent he has mental issues by the scars on his wrists. You are taking advantage of my son for your sexual wants, Gerard. That is all this is. You are taking advantage of a teenager for sex.”
“Dad, that isn’t true!” I shouted, tears filling my eyes. “Dad, he loves me and I love him.”
“Frank, not now. You are never to see this man again, do you hear me?”
I began to cry and not silently. These large gasps where I felt like I would never be afraid to breathe again. Gerard rushed forward, but was cut off by my father.
“It is time you leave my son alone and if you’re smart you’ll keep your brother away too.”
My sobs grew even louder as I shoved at my dad. My boyfriend, my best friend? What else could he take?
“Mr. Iero,” Gerard said. “This isn’t how you were supposed to find out—.”
“No. See. I wasn’t going to find out. Never. You were going to use my son until you got bored, and then leave him. Then he would have slipped back into depression or, God forbid, killed himself. So he’s leaving you. Come on now, Frank.”
“Dad!” I sobbed, looking at Gerard. “You never listen to what I want! I’m happy!”
“You’ll be much happier without this drug addict and alcoholic holding you back. Now come on.” And then I was roughly pulled out of the mall and shoved into my Dad’s car.
A Week Later…
Frank’s P.O.V
“He won’t leave his room, he won’t eat, he won’t shower, he won’t even read, Anthony.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I had the energy to stand from my “Bed o’ Pain” and cover the vent to block out my mom’s voice.
“I think he’s been in the bed since he came home. He isn’t even taking the medicine his therapist put him on.”
I felt a fresh batch of tears come to my eyes, as they had randomly been coming since I was cruelly ripped from the mall and the love of my life seven— was it really only seven?— days ago. Of course Dad told mom and while she was mad, I think she was mad that I didn’t tell her. She’s been letting Mikey over and he’s tried cheering me up but it isn’t working.
“I can’t force him to take anything, Anthony! No, I don’t want you to come. Frankly because you caused this! So he has a boyfriend? Yes, I’m aware we’re Catholic… Anthony, Frank is my son. My very smart and beautiful son who makes good choices for the most part…”
This made me cry even harder as I looked at the bottle of antidepressants my therapist prescribed six months ago to keep me happy. Truth is, I’d never taken one. I had six bottles in my drawer hidden and a full bottle by my bed. Inside my drawer was a bottle of Vodka which, if things went according to plan, would accompany a whole bottle of Prozac tonight after everyone was asleep. This time, though, I planned on succeeding. If I couldn’t have Gee there was nothing for me in this world, simple enough.
I took a deep breath and looked around my room, knowing that after today I would never see these posters again. Or my desk, or bed, or books, or my chair or— most heartbreaking— my guitars. I got out of bed, the first time all week, and crossed over to my guitars. I picked my favorite one, Pansy, up and began to play a tune I’d had in my head. This would be the last song on guitar I’d ever play, so I’d better make it good.
“Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold.”
Gerard’s P.O.V
“Gerard, we have to get to the hospital now!”
My eyes snapped open and my brother slowly came into focus. “Mikey?”
“Frank’s on his way now. He OD’d on his antidepressants. I should have known this would happen, Gerard! He was acting so much weirder, even for the last few days.”
I was out of bed in an instant and grabbing a jacket, not caring that I was only in my pajamas. Mikey and I ran to my car and got in and I drove as fast as I could toward the nearest hospital, Mikey filling me in on what had happened.
Much similar to last year, Frank had tried to kill himself when no one was around. Only this time he’d went into the bathroom and swallowed a whole bottle of Prozac. Two full bottles lay next to him, obviously there if the first 33 pills didn’t do the trick. He had collapsed, banging his head on the sink. His mom had heard and rushed in to find him lying in a puddle of blood with an empty Prozac bottle next to his hand. She’d called 911 and, once she had got to the hospital, called Mikey.
We ran into the waiting room and I saw Linda, and then remembered. She probably hated me for what I’d supposedly done to Frankie. With how worried I was I had completely forgot they all hated my guts.
But when she saw me she collapsed into tears and threw her arms around me, sobbing she was sorry for allowing Frank’s dad to try to keep us apart. I told her it was okay and hugged her back as she, still sobbing, told me Frankie was in a coma and in the ICU. The doctors had told us, minutes before my and Mikey’s arrival, that Frank only had a 50% chance of ever waking up.