Sequel: The Pros and Cons of Living ›
The Pros and Cons of Breathing
Part 8
Gerard’s POV
Two Days Later…
I think Frankie’s gonna go into shock without his sugar. He’s miserable and still grumping, but not too me anymore. He keeps getting me horny and telling me he won’t “finish the deed” as he calls it unless I tell him where we hid the stash. He actually thought we’d hide it in his underwear drawer. Wanna know where it is? Same damn place, in my underwear drawer, because we never fucking moved it. We just told him we did to get him to say where it was. He, as planned, went “Fuck! How’d you know it was in Gee’s underwear drawer?” And Ray and I just smirked at each other.
Everyone is taking different approaches with Frank. Bob makes fun of him and eats Milky Ways in his face. I told him if he did it again I’d smash his face in but who am I kidding? He’s twice my size. Mikey tried to keep him occupied, lately talking about his new girlfriend Alicia who he’s “in love” with. We all went out to dinner with them yesterday and she’s really nice. Even though I liked Jeanna more, I think I can get used to her. Of course Frank doesn’t like anyone so he was just a wet blanket the whole time until everyone ordered desert and he got a Hot Fudge sundae.
If we thought that would make it better, however, we were wrong. Dead wrong. It did the exact opposite and made him hungrier for candy than ever. I feel awful, watching him suffer. His way of coping: being mean to anyone and drinking tons of pop.
Ray’s actually nice to him, though you think it would be Ray teasing him and not Bob. I’ve seen Ray sneaking him candy bars and little Skittles packets.
Now Frankie’s lying in his bunk staring at the floor of the top bunk, a sad look on his face. I climbed in next to him and slid an arm around his tiny waist.
“You know we used to be so happy, Skittles and I. We did everything together. We ate together, we ate together, and we ate together…” he sniffed. I wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not so I kissed him gently on the lips, then ruffled his long hair. It killed me that he, now, was thinking of cutting his hair. I think it’s his way of getting back at me for not giving him his candy. I wonder if he really knows where his stash is though because sometimes if I come into a room and he’s alone he’ll have the evil grin on his face, then when he sees me he’ll look grumpy again. Either that or Ray’s giving him more candy than I know.
“You don’t have to cut it out completely, you know. You just can’t eat bags and bags a day. Plus, you’ll have awful cavities.”
He shrugged. “Candy is the love of my life.” I pouted. “Okay, the second love of my life. The point is this is just another way of authority bringing me down, like gay marriages being illegal! If they weren’t we could be married by now—.”
My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. Frank really thought about that? I know I did but Frank… I dunno, he’s always just so tiny and hyper that I can’t picture him lying awake and wondering what it would be like to be married to me.
“What? Don’t you think about it? If the government wasn’t so fucked up—mmmh.”
I kissed him hard on the mouth, climbing on top of him. This was my method of keeping Frank’s mind off sugar. No fucking (God knows I’ve had enough of that for a while.), but snogging and touching. We made out a good twenty minutes before pulling apart.
“You really want to marry me?” I asked, breathing hard.
He nodded. “I do want to… but what I REALLY want is some Skittles.”
I rolled my eyes and hugged him. “I want to marry you too.”
Frank gave me a small smile, the first real smile I’d seen since his doctor visit, and then kissed me. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Frankie.”
“And you’ll do anything for me, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Now that that’s understood: WHERES MY BLOODY SKITTLES!!!!!”
Frank’s POV
Don’t touch me, Bert! No, please get off…. Please stop.” Frank pleaded, kicking at his attacker.
“Shut the hell up.” Bert hissed, shoving Frank against a brick wall.
“Get off!” Now Frank was sobbing, no longer trying to appear strong. He began crying these huge sobs that shook his whole body, earning him another shove into the brick wall. “Please, Bert. Please get off of me.”
Bert laughed cruelly, pulling off Frank’s pants. He slid his hand into Frank’s boxers and began to stroke him.
“Gerard!” Frank screamed, sobbing. “Gerard! Gerard.”
Frank’s POV
“Gerard!” I shook Gerard, who was whimpering in his sleep. “Gerard, wake up.”
Gerard’s eyes snapped open and he pulled me into his arms, pushing down my hair and kissing my face.
I let him hold me, confused. I know he was having a nightmare by all his whimpers and thrashing, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what he had dreamed about.
“He can’t get to you.” Gerard was mumbling in my ear. “I won’t let him get to you, Frankie… he won’t hurt you again.”
“Gerard, it was a nightmare.” I whispered, patting down his hair like he had just been doing to mine. Gerard’s heart was beating twice as fast as usual and he was breathing hard. “Just a nightmare, baby.”
Gerard nodded and kissed me gently. I could feel him shaking and I had an idea of what he’d dreamt about, probably something to do with Bert. Over the last few weeks Bert had been a reoccurring problem. He was constantly watching me and Gerard, a sick smile on his face. Once he had even grabbed me from behind and slid a hand up my shirt before Gerard had jumped into action and kicked him in the balls. He had made it apparent that being surrounded by people wouldn’t stop him from torturing me. Or Gerard, for that matter. He wasn’t touching Gerard, but taunting him. Gerard would never admit this to me, but I knew it. Bert was like a stalker, and not like when Gerard stalked Christina Ricci as a teenager.
I pulled out a packet of Skittles and ate a few. After my doctors visit they had almost completely cut me off of candy, but they had slacked now. And you know where they hid my stash? Where I hid it. They think they’re clever, huh? Well next time I’ll remember that and then all the Frank Iero Stash of Yummy and Delicious Goodies That Make You Have To Barf, Give You Cavities, and Cause You To Have Tummy Aches When You Are Trying To Sleep will be all mine because they won’t have moved it because they apparently think I’m an idiot.
But now I’m worried about Gerard. He hasn’t gotten much sleep since Bert began terrorizing us and Bob can’t seem to believe Bert’s acting this way, because he apparently used to be there sound guy. Why didn’t we put all of this shit together? Honestly. I feel pretty fucking stupid to tell you the truth.
I stroked Gerard’s hair and kissed him gently. “I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re all fine. Just try to sleep.”
Gerard didn’t listen, but got up. He went to the small sink in the kitchen area and splashed his face. Then he leaned over the sink, heaving a big sigh. I looked out the window and saw someone heading this way. When they got close enough to tell the outline I saw it was Jeph from The Used. Why the fuck was HE here?
There was a knock and Gerard got it.
“What?” I heard him snap.
“I just thought I’d warn you… I don’t know what’s going on between your boyfriend and Bert, but he’s pissed… he’s planning something and I don’t know what. You should be careful, keep an eye out.”
I stepped behind Gerard and saw Jeph. He really seems to nice to be hanging around a drunken-almost-rapist like Bert. And whose to say he hadn’t actually raped other people?
Jeph looked at me. “Watch out.”
I nodded and slid Gerard’s hand into mine, then kissed his neck as Jeph left. Gerard closed the door and I realized we were alone on the bus.
“I love you.” I whispered, kissing Gerard.
“I love you too.” Gerard whispered back. “I’m just ready for this fucking tour to end.”
“Only three more weeks and AFI are gonna tour with us.” I said cheerfully. Last week they’d called and asked to join the tour so now it was two headlining bands, no opener. The Used, while technically a headlining band, had opened for us. Their sets weren’t very long id the reason they weren’t qualified as a Headlining band.
“Yeah.” Gerard said quietly. “Three more weeks.”
Two Weeks Later
Gerard’s POV
For the next two weeks Frank never went anywhere alone, but nothing ever happened. We hardly saw Bert and I was beginning to wonder if Jeph coming over WAS the big plan. To scare us.
I’m still having nightmares though, and that’s weird. Because usually I have nightmares when something bad is going to happen or when I’m stressed. Usually one leads to the other, so they go hand in hand.
One more week. That’s what has got me through today without Frank. Him and Mikey are gone now on a walk and I’m so bored I can’t even see straight. This is one of the few days we don’t have a show.
Suddenly there was a big commotion and screaming outside. It sounded like shattering glass, banging trashcans, and God only knows what else. I ran out to see Frank pinned to the brick wall by Bert, Mikey trying to pull Bert off and screaming for help. I ran forward, followed by a few passerby’s. A large man roughly pulled Bert off of Frank and he collapsed onto the ground, crying. Mikey and I were by him in an instant, pulling him up. Ray and Bob ran over and Bob looked the scene over. The passerby’s had left, Bert now standing a bit down.
“Are you happy now?” Frank screamed hysterically at him.
Bert blew a kiss in our direction and walked off. Frank was sobbing into my shoulder, some of my shirt balled in his fist.
“He didn’t hurt you did he?”
“Of course he fucking hurt me!” Frank was still hysterical.
“Baby, did he rape you? Is anything broken, bleeding?”
He shook his head and I stood up, him in my arms.
“I’m sorry.” Mikey whispered.
“It isn’t your fault.” I said to him, forcing a smile. I looked at Bert, walking towards his tour bus. I hated him with every fiber of my being. I thought I hated my dad but that is nothing compared to how I feel about Bert McCracken.
An Hour Later…
Frank began calming down and I was lying with him in our bunk, stroking his hair. Frank, who had been hysterically sobbing since the incident, seemed to have no more tears. He just lay there, staring at the ceiling. I pulled out a bag of Skittles and offered him one. He began to cry again and got out of my arms, then turned to face the wall.
“Frank…” I began, but realized I didn’t know what to say. I knew Skittles couldn’t help but I’d expected a small smile or even him to just take the damn one. Not begin crying again and turn, shutting me out.
“Six days, right?” Frank sobbed.
I had a hand on his back, and nodded though he couldn’t see. “Six days.”
Gerard’s POV
I’d been thinking a lot lately about Frank. I was probably freaking him out lately because anytime he would look up I’d just be there, staring at him. I didn’t mean to creep him out but half of the time I didn’t realize I was doing it. I would just be staring at him, thinking about how lucky I was to have him and how I wanted nothing more than to… to marry him.
I slid down next to Mikey on the ground one warm day and pulled my legs to my chest. “If a guy were to, uh, marry another guy in a…. a said state that allowed gay marriages… would it be considered legal in other states?” I whispered, not wanting anyone to hear.
Mikey looked up at me and his eyebrow arched. “Huh?”
“You heard me, Mikey. Listen… gay people can get married in one or two states now. Would it be legal in all other forty eight? I mean, with Bush’s ban?”
“… Technically… I suppose.” Mikey said slowly. “Are you and Frank going to get married?”
“Shh!” I whispered. “I haven’t said anything to him yet.” I glanced around, making sure no one had heard. “Look, he’s under a lot of stress with what Bert did a few days ago and I don’t want to throw it at him.”
“Gerard, you’re gonna propose?!” Mikey whispered excitedly.
“I don’t… I don’t know!” I moaned, banging my head on my knees.
“Oh, wow… Wow…” Mikey looked shocked, in awe.
“I just don’t know, Mikey… would it even be legal?”
“Go to Canada or… or… Gerard, mom doesn’t even know yet!”
“I know, I know! Don’t get so excited or anything, Mikey!” I said, now half wising I’d kept it to myself. “I don’t….”
“He’ll say yes.” Mikey said.
“What?”
“He’ll say yes. Look, he’s my best friend. He’s been my best friend since we were, like… in school. Trust me, he’ll say yes.”
I smiled a bit. “I’m nervous, Mikey. I don’t….”
“It’s just Frankie, Gerard. Just Frankie.”
I nodded. Right. Just Frankie.
_________________Frank’s POV
Something is up. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Gerard’s been acting weird lately, really jumpy. I don’t think it’s Bert either because tomorrow is Bert’s last day on this tour. Our managers are talking about another collaboration, though. Which I fully intend to protest.
While I should be celebrating the fact that Bert leaves tomorrow and AFI will be taking their place, I’m sitting in my bunk trying to figure out what’s going on. I don’t want to think it but I think Gerard’s going to leave me.
No. That can’t be it. We seem closer than ever, lately.
“Frank?” I heard him call from somewhere.
“I’m in here!” I called, poking my head out from behind the curtain. “Yeah, baby?”
He came up. “Let’s go out to dinner tonight.”
I smiled. “Alright. When do you want to leave?”
“Whenever.” He shrugged and kissed me. I took his hands in mine and felt sweat. His palms were sweating. I let it go and kissed him back, squeezing his hands gently.
I smiled. “We haven’t been out alone in forever.”
“I know.” He grinned back at me and I sat back down in my bunk, opening the curtains. He got between my legs and kissed me again. “Where are you going?”
“Me and Mikey are gonna run somewhere downtown for an hour or so.”
“Oh… so when you get back?”
“It’s a date.” He kissed me again.
“Have fun, baby. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He kissed me again and left, calling for Mikey.
Gerard’s POV
“I don’t know about this, Mikey.” I moaned. “What if he says he doesn’t love me enough to be with me forever?”
“You said you two had talked about it before.” Mikey pointed out, leading me into a Starbucks. “Now order a coffee latté to calm you down.”
“It’s just going to make me even more jittery.” I said, but ordered a latté anyway. We sat at a table and my hands shook, holding the coffee up. “I’m a fucking mess.”
“You two talked about it before and he said he wanted to marry you.”
“Yeah, then he asked me for some damn Skittles.” I muttered. “He was probably joking. He, unlike me, knows this is a totally fucking bogus idea that isn’t going to work. Even if we run off it won’t count in other states!”
“Frank was not joking about marrying you. You don’t joke about marriage.”
“He did. He said ‘But what I’d really like is some Skittles’. Oh, God. He was joking and I’m going to fucking humiliate myself. I can’t do it, Mikey.” I put my head in my hands. “What did I get myself into? At least I didn’t buy the ring yet.”
“Gerard,” Mikey put a hand on my back. “C’mon, we need to get going and find a ring.”
“No. Let’s just go back to the bus.”
“No! You are fucking proposing to him if I have to sit with a gun to your head until you fucking do it!” Mikey growled. “You are not chickening out on this! He loves you and you love him! You’ve found a way to do it and that was the hard part. This is easy, Gerard. All you have to do is ask Frankie to marry you. How hard can that be? You sing the same words every time we sing To The End.”
“The song is about fucking killing someone with cyanide Mikey!” I snapped.
“Gerard, come on.” He pulled me up, then paid for our drinks and led me out of Starbucks. “We’ve talked over this. You take him to dinner, go for a walk, and ask him to marry you. How hard can it be? ‘Frank, will you marry me?’ See, fucking easy. Easy peasey pumpkin peasy pumpkin pie, mother fucker.”
“Don’t joke about this. I’m sick enough to my stomach already.” I whimpered, getting in the car. We drove to a jeweler, and then walked in.
“Can I help you gentlemen with anything?” A man asked.
“We’re just looking.” Mikey said.
“Proposing?” The man asked, looking at me sympathetically.
“I’m gonna throw up.” I moaned.
He took this as a yes and pointed as at the wedding and engagement section, smiling. Mikey led me over.
“You won’t throw up, you won’t humiliate yourself, and you aren’t gonna skip out on this either, Gee. This will be good for you.”
I looked at the rings and they all blurred together.
“I can’t do this, Mikey!” I said frantically.
“Gerard, get a hold of yourself. Frank is at home—well, at the bus—waiting for you!”
That made me quit. I knew how Frank could worry sometimes, especially with my past with alcohol and drugs.
I looked at the rings, and then saw a plain silver band.
“Mikey, I’m gonna be sick.” I moaned, pointing to it.
“You aren’t. Is that the one you want?”
I shoved my credit card at him and ran into a restroom before puking my guts out in the first toilet. I puked everything up and felt a little better. I flushed the toilet, wiped my face, and took in my appearance. I had dark circles under my eyes—all night last night I watched Frank sleep, I was pale—I was nervous as hell, obviously, and I could see myself shaking. I made my way out of the bathroom and went up to the register.
“Sign here.” The man said, pointing.
I did quickly and took the bag. Mikey then led me out to the car after the salesman said something and I opened the bag, pulled out the box, and then the ring. This was the ring I was going to propose to Frankie with. He was going to wear this ring every day of his life, assuming he said yes.
“Are you ready to go back to the bus or do you need some time?”
“Let’s do this.” I said, pocketing the ring. We drove to the bus and Mikey hugged me.
“You can do it, Gerard. If it gets bad go to the bathroom and call one of us, okay?”
“Mikey, what if he says no?” I whispered.
“He won’t, Gerard. He won’t.” Mikey assured me, and then hugged me again. “I’ll see you later. And take a few deep breaths before you go in there. You look like you swallowed a cat.”
I took a small walk around, just to get my color back. When I began to feel a little better I made my way onto the bus. Frank was sitting on the couch in blue jeans and his white collar T-shirt (part of his My Chem uniform) reading.
“Hi.” I smiled.
He looked up and grinned. “Hey, Gee. Ready to go?”
Good so far. I nodded and reached a hand. He took my hand and we left the bus.
“We’re gone!” I called to the guys. Ray winked at me and Bob grinned and gave me thumbs up. We went to the car and drove to a small yet nice Italian restaurant where I knew he could get his favorite— eggplant parmesan. We went in and were seated at a booth. Frank, never one to carry about people staring because of the homosexuality, sat right next to me, holding my hand. That’s one reason I love him so much. Even though when I first fell in love with him he was depressed and lonely and cared what others thought, he’s grown out of that. He’s grown into someone who is himself and doesn’t care what other people think or say.
They tell us our food will be out shortly and we talk about how AFI is coming soon and how in about a year we would be on another break.
“I can’t wait to see Kaylie and Lizzie.” He said, smiling. “I miss them so much. Hell, I’ve missed so much.”
I smiled and he kissed me gently before our food got there. We had a nice time eating and when we left I began to get nervous again. We were walking around outside and I realized how pretty the sky was. It was late at night and I didn’t think proposing in a car would be too good, so we were going on a walk.
If my feet would work properly, that is. They keep on tripping me.
We walked in silence and I took a deep breath before sliding my hand into my pocket and pulling out the ring. Frank sat on a beach beside the road and grinned, pulling me towards him. I kissed him, then pulled away and took another deep breath. Then another one…. And about forty more after that.
“Frankie, I…” I trailed off, looking into his beautiful green eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Gerard.”
“I’d do anything for you.” I continued.
Frank fell quiet and let go of my hands, then watched me expectantly.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately…”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
His words caught me off guard. “I… No! No, Frank!”
“You’ve been acting weird all night, Gerard. Actually, the last few days.”
“Frank, let me finish.” I said, getting down on a knee.
His eyes widened almost three times their natural size. “Gerard…” he whispered.
“I love you so much, Frank, and I only want to be with you.” I said, my heart beating so fast I thought I would go into cardiac arrest. “Will you marry me?”
He jumped off of the bench and onto me, knocking me to the grass. He began kissing me passionately while nodding at the same time. He didn’t seem to know which to do first, so did both at once. I slid the ring onto his finger and he pulled back from the kiss to look at it.
“Gerard, I love you.” He whispered, and then tears filled his eyes. “But we… we can’t get married.”
My heart sunk.
“It isn’t that I don’t want to!” he assured me, kissing me again. “It’s just… the tour and gay marriages being banned… and… everything.”
“We’ll move to Canada.” I said.
“Wh-What?”
“They’re legal there. I called to make sure. I had Mikey call to make sure even.”
“The tour?”
“Fuck it. We can take a week off to get married. If it’s that big of a problem we can wait until Thanksgiving, it’s only two months away.”
“I want to marry you now.” Frank said excitedly, his eyes lighting up. “Can we really do this? Really just…. Move to Canada?”
“Yeah.” I kissed him gently, and then pulled away. “We’ll fly to Canada, become legal citizens, and get married. Then we’ll tour and finish up. After tour we can live in Canada.”
“Married?”
“Married.” I kissed him. Sometimes life seemed to good to be true but nothing could go wrong, my arms wrapped around him like this.
Frank’s POV
I couldn’t believe I was engaged to Gerard. It just didn’t seem possible that everything was going so well. I knew I should call my mom or something, but I just wanted to keep this to myself. I knew the guys knew but that was different, they were the guys. We’d all had a somewhat party when me and Gee got back and now everyone’s sleeping.
I’m sitting on the couch twirling my ring around my index finger, thinking. It did seem to good to be true after all. But this was my time. It was Bert’s last day on the tour and Davey and the guys would be meeting us tomorrow. I should be happy, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong. Terribly wrong.
I walked towards the back where the bathroom was to take a shower and passed Gerard’s bunk. He was sleeping, a small smile on his face. I wanted to kiss him but knew I’d wake him up so I just went to the bathroom.
“Fuck.” I muttered, when the faucet sputtered. No one had gotten more water yet. I decided to take one in the public bathrooms, grabbed a change of clothes and towel, scribbled a note, and went to the bathrooms. I went in the last one where I was least likely to be seen—I didn’t exactly like my body, I never have.— and stripped of my clothes, placing them neatly on the outside. I turned the shower on and felt the warm water hitting my body. I loved showers since being in a band limited how much showers you could take. Man, you really gotta love people to smell them at their worst.
I stayed in the shower longer than I should have, then got out and pulled my boxers on. I stepped out and into the center (the room had showers along the walls) and pulled the rest of my clothes on after drying off. I took my shit and began walking out of the building. When I was away from the entrance I was grabbed from behind. I began kicking and screaming but whoever had grabbed me was pulling me back towards the building.
“Let me go!” I shouted.
“I don’t think so, Pretty Boy.” They whispered cruelly in my ear. “I haven’t given you my parting present yet. Did you really think I was gonna leave without….” He licked my cheek. “Saying bye?”
I whimpered and began struggling more.
“That’s a nice ring on your finger. I suppose its from Gerard?” he hissed, shoving me into the stall I had just been showering in.
“Get off.” I grunted, kicking at him. He yanked my shirt off and buttons flew every which way. He pushed it off of my chest and began kissing my chest. I tried kicking at him more but he shoved me into the wall and pressed himself against me, preventing that. “Get off…”
“Say please.” He laughed, unbuttoning my jeans.
“Bert, please! Please get off!”
“Please, please get off?” he laughed and shoved me hard into the wall.
I whimpered in pain because my back had ran into the faucet and because he was roughly pulling down my pants.
“I hate shoes.” He said casually, bending down to untie my shoes. “They make everything… so much more… difficult.” He pulled them off and I kicked at his face but he stood and slapped me hard across my face.
I whimpered again, but fell quiet when he raised his fist again. I was breathing hard and looking at him.
“Turn around.”
I stood there.
“Turn the fuck around or I’ll fucking make you turn around, you fucking midget!”
I didn’t move. I couldn’t, I was frozen to the spot.
He roughly turned me around and I heard him unzipping his pants. I began to cry quietly, shoulders shaking. He put his hands on my waist and I began to struggle again, earning my head being slammed into the wall. I saw stars before my eyes and cried out as he pushed himself roughly into me…
Gerard’s POV
I woke up to the sounds of screaming. I ran outside and saw police men, my manager, and Bert. I ran onto the bus.
“Frankie? Frank, where are you?”
He was gone.
I ran back out and saw an ambulance. He was sitting on the side, someone talking to him. I ran over, on auto pilot.
“Excuse me, sir, you can’t be over here.” A police man said, next to the man who was talking to Frank. Frank looked dazed, confused, sick, pale, and awful. He had a bruise on his cheek and was covered in a blanket.
“Frank,” I ran past the officer and over to my baby. He began to cry, reaching for me. I scrambled onto the ambulance and took him in my arms. He was naked under the blanket which was the only thing he had on. “What happened?”
“I just wanted a shower.” He sobbed.
“Sir, you’re upsetting him.” A paramedic said.
“Don’t take him.” Frank whimpered. “Please, let him stay.”
I wrapped an arm around him. “What’s happened?”
The police officer I’d run past sighed.
“Someone walked in on this young man being raped by… that man over there.”
I followed his gaze. Bert.
“He was half unconscious. We’ve just now gotten him awake enough to talk.”
My arm around Frank tightened and I pressed a kiss to his forehead. He buried his head in my chest and sobbed, breaking my heart.
“What do I do?”
“I’m having him taken to a hospital for evidence that will be used in a court case.” The officer said. “You can go if you’d like.”
“Can I get him some clothes?” I asked. Frank was shivering even though it was burning up outside.
“You can bring him some to wear after the evidence is gathered. We don’t want to compromise the case.”
“He’s fucking shaking.”
“Gerard…” Frank whispered, looking up.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked desperately.
“I thought… I…. I don’t know.” He began to cry again.
“Are you his brother?” the officer asked.
“I’m his boyfriend.” I said, standing. “I’m going to get you clothes, okay?”
He nodded and laid his head against the side of the ambulance.
I ran in and told Ray, who was awake, what had happened.
His eyes widened. “H—.”
“I don’t have time; I’m going with him to the hospital.” I said, digging through Frank’s suitcase for his favorite pajamas. I got them out, put them in a bag, and looked at Ray.
“Call me, okay? As soon as you can.”
I nodded, hugged him, and ran back out towards the ambulance. They were coaxing Frank to at least sit on the stretcher. He winced as the paramedic helped him sit down and I climbed in by him. I had also grabbed a blanket.
“Can he at least have this?”
The paramedic, a fairly young man, nodded. “That should be fine.”
I slid it over his shoulder and sat by Frankie. He laid his head on my shoulder and I hugged him close to me, never wanting to let go.
“I’m sorry I’m ruining today. It should’ve been so great.” He sobbed. “But I had to go and muck it up.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t your fault, baby. It isn’t and you should never think it is.”
“I wanted today to be so perfect.” He whispered, tears pouring down his cheeks. “Our first day engaged and this happens.”
I kissed him gently. “It will get better, Frankie. I promise.”
“I don’t believe you.” He sobbed. “It can’t get better, Gerard.”
Two Days Later…
I think Frankie’s gonna go into shock without his sugar. He’s miserable and still grumping, but not too me anymore. He keeps getting me horny and telling me he won’t “finish the deed” as he calls it unless I tell him where we hid the stash. He actually thought we’d hide it in his underwear drawer. Wanna know where it is? Same damn place, in my underwear drawer, because we never fucking moved it. We just told him we did to get him to say where it was. He, as planned, went “Fuck! How’d you know it was in Gee’s underwear drawer?” And Ray and I just smirked at each other.
Everyone is taking different approaches with Frank. Bob makes fun of him and eats Milky Ways in his face. I told him if he did it again I’d smash his face in but who am I kidding? He’s twice my size. Mikey tried to keep him occupied, lately talking about his new girlfriend Alicia who he’s “in love” with. We all went out to dinner with them yesterday and she’s really nice. Even though I liked Jeanna more, I think I can get used to her. Of course Frank doesn’t like anyone so he was just a wet blanket the whole time until everyone ordered desert and he got a Hot Fudge sundae.
If we thought that would make it better, however, we were wrong. Dead wrong. It did the exact opposite and made him hungrier for candy than ever. I feel awful, watching him suffer. His way of coping: being mean to anyone and drinking tons of pop.
Ray’s actually nice to him, though you think it would be Ray teasing him and not Bob. I’ve seen Ray sneaking him candy bars and little Skittles packets.
Now Frankie’s lying in his bunk staring at the floor of the top bunk, a sad look on his face. I climbed in next to him and slid an arm around his tiny waist.
“You know we used to be so happy, Skittles and I. We did everything together. We ate together, we ate together, and we ate together…” he sniffed. I wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not so I kissed him gently on the lips, then ruffled his long hair. It killed me that he, now, was thinking of cutting his hair. I think it’s his way of getting back at me for not giving him his candy. I wonder if he really knows where his stash is though because sometimes if I come into a room and he’s alone he’ll have the evil grin on his face, then when he sees me he’ll look grumpy again. Either that or Ray’s giving him more candy than I know.
“You don’t have to cut it out completely, you know. You just can’t eat bags and bags a day. Plus, you’ll have awful cavities.”
He shrugged. “Candy is the love of my life.” I pouted. “Okay, the second love of my life. The point is this is just another way of authority bringing me down, like gay marriages being illegal! If they weren’t we could be married by now—.”
My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. Frank really thought about that? I know I did but Frank… I dunno, he’s always just so tiny and hyper that I can’t picture him lying awake and wondering what it would be like to be married to me.
“What? Don’t you think about it? If the government wasn’t so fucked up—mmmh.”
I kissed him hard on the mouth, climbing on top of him. This was my method of keeping Frank’s mind off sugar. No fucking (God knows I’ve had enough of that for a while.), but snogging and touching. We made out a good twenty minutes before pulling apart.
“You really want to marry me?” I asked, breathing hard.
He nodded. “I do want to… but what I REALLY want is some Skittles.”
I rolled my eyes and hugged him. “I want to marry you too.”
Frank gave me a small smile, the first real smile I’d seen since his doctor visit, and then kissed me. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Frankie.”
“And you’ll do anything for me, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Now that that’s understood: WHERES MY BLOODY SKITTLES!!!!!”
Frank’s POV
Don’t touch me, Bert! No, please get off…. Please stop.” Frank pleaded, kicking at his attacker.
“Shut the hell up.” Bert hissed, shoving Frank against a brick wall.
“Get off!” Now Frank was sobbing, no longer trying to appear strong. He began crying these huge sobs that shook his whole body, earning him another shove into the brick wall. “Please, Bert. Please get off of me.”
Bert laughed cruelly, pulling off Frank’s pants. He slid his hand into Frank’s boxers and began to stroke him.
“Gerard!” Frank screamed, sobbing. “Gerard! Gerard.”
Frank’s POV
“Gerard!” I shook Gerard, who was whimpering in his sleep. “Gerard, wake up.”
Gerard’s eyes snapped open and he pulled me into his arms, pushing down my hair and kissing my face.
I let him hold me, confused. I know he was having a nightmare by all his whimpers and thrashing, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what he had dreamed about.
“He can’t get to you.” Gerard was mumbling in my ear. “I won’t let him get to you, Frankie… he won’t hurt you again.”
“Gerard, it was a nightmare.” I whispered, patting down his hair like he had just been doing to mine. Gerard’s heart was beating twice as fast as usual and he was breathing hard. “Just a nightmare, baby.”
Gerard nodded and kissed me gently. I could feel him shaking and I had an idea of what he’d dreamt about, probably something to do with Bert. Over the last few weeks Bert had been a reoccurring problem. He was constantly watching me and Gerard, a sick smile on his face. Once he had even grabbed me from behind and slid a hand up my shirt before Gerard had jumped into action and kicked him in the balls. He had made it apparent that being surrounded by people wouldn’t stop him from torturing me. Or Gerard, for that matter. He wasn’t touching Gerard, but taunting him. Gerard would never admit this to me, but I knew it. Bert was like a stalker, and not like when Gerard stalked Christina Ricci as a teenager.
I pulled out a packet of Skittles and ate a few. After my doctors visit they had almost completely cut me off of candy, but they had slacked now. And you know where they hid my stash? Where I hid it. They think they’re clever, huh? Well next time I’ll remember that and then all the Frank Iero Stash of Yummy and Delicious Goodies That Make You Have To Barf, Give You Cavities, and Cause You To Have Tummy Aches When You Are Trying To Sleep will be all mine because they won’t have moved it because they apparently think I’m an idiot.
But now I’m worried about Gerard. He hasn’t gotten much sleep since Bert began terrorizing us and Bob can’t seem to believe Bert’s acting this way, because he apparently used to be there sound guy. Why didn’t we put all of this shit together? Honestly. I feel pretty fucking stupid to tell you the truth.
I stroked Gerard’s hair and kissed him gently. “I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re all fine. Just try to sleep.”
Gerard didn’t listen, but got up. He went to the small sink in the kitchen area and splashed his face. Then he leaned over the sink, heaving a big sigh. I looked out the window and saw someone heading this way. When they got close enough to tell the outline I saw it was Jeph from The Used. Why the fuck was HE here?
There was a knock and Gerard got it.
“What?” I heard him snap.
“I just thought I’d warn you… I don’t know what’s going on between your boyfriend and Bert, but he’s pissed… he’s planning something and I don’t know what. You should be careful, keep an eye out.”
I stepped behind Gerard and saw Jeph. He really seems to nice to be hanging around a drunken-almost-rapist like Bert. And whose to say he hadn’t actually raped other people?
Jeph looked at me. “Watch out.”
I nodded and slid Gerard’s hand into mine, then kissed his neck as Jeph left. Gerard closed the door and I realized we were alone on the bus.
“I love you.” I whispered, kissing Gerard.
“I love you too.” Gerard whispered back. “I’m just ready for this fucking tour to end.”
“Only three more weeks and AFI are gonna tour with us.” I said cheerfully. Last week they’d called and asked to join the tour so now it was two headlining bands, no opener. The Used, while technically a headlining band, had opened for us. Their sets weren’t very long id the reason they weren’t qualified as a Headlining band.
“Yeah.” Gerard said quietly. “Three more weeks.”
Two Weeks Later
Gerard’s POV
For the next two weeks Frank never went anywhere alone, but nothing ever happened. We hardly saw Bert and I was beginning to wonder if Jeph coming over WAS the big plan. To scare us.
I’m still having nightmares though, and that’s weird. Because usually I have nightmares when something bad is going to happen or when I’m stressed. Usually one leads to the other, so they go hand in hand.
One more week. That’s what has got me through today without Frank. Him and Mikey are gone now on a walk and I’m so bored I can’t even see straight. This is one of the few days we don’t have a show.
Suddenly there was a big commotion and screaming outside. It sounded like shattering glass, banging trashcans, and God only knows what else. I ran out to see Frank pinned to the brick wall by Bert, Mikey trying to pull Bert off and screaming for help. I ran forward, followed by a few passerby’s. A large man roughly pulled Bert off of Frank and he collapsed onto the ground, crying. Mikey and I were by him in an instant, pulling him up. Ray and Bob ran over and Bob looked the scene over. The passerby’s had left, Bert now standing a bit down.
“Are you happy now?” Frank screamed hysterically at him.
Bert blew a kiss in our direction and walked off. Frank was sobbing into my shoulder, some of my shirt balled in his fist.
“He didn’t hurt you did he?”
“Of course he fucking hurt me!” Frank was still hysterical.
“Baby, did he rape you? Is anything broken, bleeding?”
He shook his head and I stood up, him in my arms.
“I’m sorry.” Mikey whispered.
“It isn’t your fault.” I said to him, forcing a smile. I looked at Bert, walking towards his tour bus. I hated him with every fiber of my being. I thought I hated my dad but that is nothing compared to how I feel about Bert McCracken.
An Hour Later…
Frank began calming down and I was lying with him in our bunk, stroking his hair. Frank, who had been hysterically sobbing since the incident, seemed to have no more tears. He just lay there, staring at the ceiling. I pulled out a bag of Skittles and offered him one. He began to cry again and got out of my arms, then turned to face the wall.
“Frank…” I began, but realized I didn’t know what to say. I knew Skittles couldn’t help but I’d expected a small smile or even him to just take the damn one. Not begin crying again and turn, shutting me out.
“Six days, right?” Frank sobbed.
I had a hand on his back, and nodded though he couldn’t see. “Six days.”
Gerard’s POV
I’d been thinking a lot lately about Frank. I was probably freaking him out lately because anytime he would look up I’d just be there, staring at him. I didn’t mean to creep him out but half of the time I didn’t realize I was doing it. I would just be staring at him, thinking about how lucky I was to have him and how I wanted nothing more than to… to marry him.
I slid down next to Mikey on the ground one warm day and pulled my legs to my chest. “If a guy were to, uh, marry another guy in a…. a said state that allowed gay marriages… would it be considered legal in other states?” I whispered, not wanting anyone to hear.
Mikey looked up at me and his eyebrow arched. “Huh?”
“You heard me, Mikey. Listen… gay people can get married in one or two states now. Would it be legal in all other forty eight? I mean, with Bush’s ban?”
“… Technically… I suppose.” Mikey said slowly. “Are you and Frank going to get married?”
“Shh!” I whispered. “I haven’t said anything to him yet.” I glanced around, making sure no one had heard. “Look, he’s under a lot of stress with what Bert did a few days ago and I don’t want to throw it at him.”
“Gerard, you’re gonna propose?!” Mikey whispered excitedly.
“I don’t… I don’t know!” I moaned, banging my head on my knees.
“Oh, wow… Wow…” Mikey looked shocked, in awe.
“I just don’t know, Mikey… would it even be legal?”
“Go to Canada or… or… Gerard, mom doesn’t even know yet!”
“I know, I know! Don’t get so excited or anything, Mikey!” I said, now half wising I’d kept it to myself. “I don’t….”
“He’ll say yes.” Mikey said.
“What?”
“He’ll say yes. Look, he’s my best friend. He’s been my best friend since we were, like… in school. Trust me, he’ll say yes.”
I smiled a bit. “I’m nervous, Mikey. I don’t….”
“It’s just Frankie, Gerard. Just Frankie.”
I nodded. Right. Just Frankie.
_________________Frank’s POV
Something is up. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Gerard’s been acting weird lately, really jumpy. I don’t think it’s Bert either because tomorrow is Bert’s last day on this tour. Our managers are talking about another collaboration, though. Which I fully intend to protest.
While I should be celebrating the fact that Bert leaves tomorrow and AFI will be taking their place, I’m sitting in my bunk trying to figure out what’s going on. I don’t want to think it but I think Gerard’s going to leave me.
No. That can’t be it. We seem closer than ever, lately.
“Frank?” I heard him call from somewhere.
“I’m in here!” I called, poking my head out from behind the curtain. “Yeah, baby?”
He came up. “Let’s go out to dinner tonight.”
I smiled. “Alright. When do you want to leave?”
“Whenever.” He shrugged and kissed me. I took his hands in mine and felt sweat. His palms were sweating. I let it go and kissed him back, squeezing his hands gently.
I smiled. “We haven’t been out alone in forever.”
“I know.” He grinned back at me and I sat back down in my bunk, opening the curtains. He got between my legs and kissed me again. “Where are you going?”
“Me and Mikey are gonna run somewhere downtown for an hour or so.”
“Oh… so when you get back?”
“It’s a date.” He kissed me again.
“Have fun, baby. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He kissed me again and left, calling for Mikey.
Gerard’s POV
“I don’t know about this, Mikey.” I moaned. “What if he says he doesn’t love me enough to be with me forever?”
“You said you two had talked about it before.” Mikey pointed out, leading me into a Starbucks. “Now order a coffee latté to calm you down.”
“It’s just going to make me even more jittery.” I said, but ordered a latté anyway. We sat at a table and my hands shook, holding the coffee up. “I’m a fucking mess.”
“You two talked about it before and he said he wanted to marry you.”
“Yeah, then he asked me for some damn Skittles.” I muttered. “He was probably joking. He, unlike me, knows this is a totally fucking bogus idea that isn’t going to work. Even if we run off it won’t count in other states!”
“Frank was not joking about marrying you. You don’t joke about marriage.”
“He did. He said ‘But what I’d really like is some Skittles’. Oh, God. He was joking and I’m going to fucking humiliate myself. I can’t do it, Mikey.” I put my head in my hands. “What did I get myself into? At least I didn’t buy the ring yet.”
“Gerard,” Mikey put a hand on my back. “C’mon, we need to get going and find a ring.”
“No. Let’s just go back to the bus.”
“No! You are fucking proposing to him if I have to sit with a gun to your head until you fucking do it!” Mikey growled. “You are not chickening out on this! He loves you and you love him! You’ve found a way to do it and that was the hard part. This is easy, Gerard. All you have to do is ask Frankie to marry you. How hard can that be? You sing the same words every time we sing To The End.”
“The song is about fucking killing someone with cyanide Mikey!” I snapped.
“Gerard, come on.” He pulled me up, then paid for our drinks and led me out of Starbucks. “We’ve talked over this. You take him to dinner, go for a walk, and ask him to marry you. How hard can it be? ‘Frank, will you marry me?’ See, fucking easy. Easy peasey pumpkin peasy pumpkin pie, mother fucker.”
“Don’t joke about this. I’m sick enough to my stomach already.” I whimpered, getting in the car. We drove to a jeweler, and then walked in.
“Can I help you gentlemen with anything?” A man asked.
“We’re just looking.” Mikey said.
“Proposing?” The man asked, looking at me sympathetically.
“I’m gonna throw up.” I moaned.
He took this as a yes and pointed as at the wedding and engagement section, smiling. Mikey led me over.
“You won’t throw up, you won’t humiliate yourself, and you aren’t gonna skip out on this either, Gee. This will be good for you.”
I looked at the rings and they all blurred together.
“I can’t do this, Mikey!” I said frantically.
“Gerard, get a hold of yourself. Frank is at home—well, at the bus—waiting for you!”
That made me quit. I knew how Frank could worry sometimes, especially with my past with alcohol and drugs.
I looked at the rings, and then saw a plain silver band.
“Mikey, I’m gonna be sick.” I moaned, pointing to it.
“You aren’t. Is that the one you want?”
I shoved my credit card at him and ran into a restroom before puking my guts out in the first toilet. I puked everything up and felt a little better. I flushed the toilet, wiped my face, and took in my appearance. I had dark circles under my eyes—all night last night I watched Frank sleep, I was pale—I was nervous as hell, obviously, and I could see myself shaking. I made my way out of the bathroom and went up to the register.
“Sign here.” The man said, pointing.
I did quickly and took the bag. Mikey then led me out to the car after the salesman said something and I opened the bag, pulled out the box, and then the ring. This was the ring I was going to propose to Frankie with. He was going to wear this ring every day of his life, assuming he said yes.
“Are you ready to go back to the bus or do you need some time?”
“Let’s do this.” I said, pocketing the ring. We drove to the bus and Mikey hugged me.
“You can do it, Gerard. If it gets bad go to the bathroom and call one of us, okay?”
“Mikey, what if he says no?” I whispered.
“He won’t, Gerard. He won’t.” Mikey assured me, and then hugged me again. “I’ll see you later. And take a few deep breaths before you go in there. You look like you swallowed a cat.”
I took a small walk around, just to get my color back. When I began to feel a little better I made my way onto the bus. Frank was sitting on the couch in blue jeans and his white collar T-shirt (part of his My Chem uniform) reading.
“Hi.” I smiled.
He looked up and grinned. “Hey, Gee. Ready to go?”
Good so far. I nodded and reached a hand. He took my hand and we left the bus.
“We’re gone!” I called to the guys. Ray winked at me and Bob grinned and gave me thumbs up. We went to the car and drove to a small yet nice Italian restaurant where I knew he could get his favorite— eggplant parmesan. We went in and were seated at a booth. Frank, never one to carry about people staring because of the homosexuality, sat right next to me, holding my hand. That’s one reason I love him so much. Even though when I first fell in love with him he was depressed and lonely and cared what others thought, he’s grown out of that. He’s grown into someone who is himself and doesn’t care what other people think or say.
They tell us our food will be out shortly and we talk about how AFI is coming soon and how in about a year we would be on another break.
“I can’t wait to see Kaylie and Lizzie.” He said, smiling. “I miss them so much. Hell, I’ve missed so much.”
I smiled and he kissed me gently before our food got there. We had a nice time eating and when we left I began to get nervous again. We were walking around outside and I realized how pretty the sky was. It was late at night and I didn’t think proposing in a car would be too good, so we were going on a walk.
If my feet would work properly, that is. They keep on tripping me.
We walked in silence and I took a deep breath before sliding my hand into my pocket and pulling out the ring. Frank sat on a beach beside the road and grinned, pulling me towards him. I kissed him, then pulled away and took another deep breath. Then another one…. And about forty more after that.
“Frankie, I…” I trailed off, looking into his beautiful green eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Gerard.”
“I’d do anything for you.” I continued.
Frank fell quiet and let go of my hands, then watched me expectantly.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately…”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
His words caught me off guard. “I… No! No, Frank!”
“You’ve been acting weird all night, Gerard. Actually, the last few days.”
“Frank, let me finish.” I said, getting down on a knee.
His eyes widened almost three times their natural size. “Gerard…” he whispered.
“I love you so much, Frank, and I only want to be with you.” I said, my heart beating so fast I thought I would go into cardiac arrest. “Will you marry me?”
He jumped off of the bench and onto me, knocking me to the grass. He began kissing me passionately while nodding at the same time. He didn’t seem to know which to do first, so did both at once. I slid the ring onto his finger and he pulled back from the kiss to look at it.
“Gerard, I love you.” He whispered, and then tears filled his eyes. “But we… we can’t get married.”
My heart sunk.
“It isn’t that I don’t want to!” he assured me, kissing me again. “It’s just… the tour and gay marriages being banned… and… everything.”
“We’ll move to Canada.” I said.
“Wh-What?”
“They’re legal there. I called to make sure. I had Mikey call to make sure even.”
“The tour?”
“Fuck it. We can take a week off to get married. If it’s that big of a problem we can wait until Thanksgiving, it’s only two months away.”
“I want to marry you now.” Frank said excitedly, his eyes lighting up. “Can we really do this? Really just…. Move to Canada?”
“Yeah.” I kissed him gently, and then pulled away. “We’ll fly to Canada, become legal citizens, and get married. Then we’ll tour and finish up. After tour we can live in Canada.”
“Married?”
“Married.” I kissed him. Sometimes life seemed to good to be true but nothing could go wrong, my arms wrapped around him like this.
Frank’s POV
I couldn’t believe I was engaged to Gerard. It just didn’t seem possible that everything was going so well. I knew I should call my mom or something, but I just wanted to keep this to myself. I knew the guys knew but that was different, they were the guys. We’d all had a somewhat party when me and Gee got back and now everyone’s sleeping.
I’m sitting on the couch twirling my ring around my index finger, thinking. It did seem to good to be true after all. But this was my time. It was Bert’s last day on the tour and Davey and the guys would be meeting us tomorrow. I should be happy, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong. Terribly wrong.
I walked towards the back where the bathroom was to take a shower and passed Gerard’s bunk. He was sleeping, a small smile on his face. I wanted to kiss him but knew I’d wake him up so I just went to the bathroom.
“Fuck.” I muttered, when the faucet sputtered. No one had gotten more water yet. I decided to take one in the public bathrooms, grabbed a change of clothes and towel, scribbled a note, and went to the bathrooms. I went in the last one where I was least likely to be seen—I didn’t exactly like my body, I never have.— and stripped of my clothes, placing them neatly on the outside. I turned the shower on and felt the warm water hitting my body. I loved showers since being in a band limited how much showers you could take. Man, you really gotta love people to smell them at their worst.
I stayed in the shower longer than I should have, then got out and pulled my boxers on. I stepped out and into the center (the room had showers along the walls) and pulled the rest of my clothes on after drying off. I took my shit and began walking out of the building. When I was away from the entrance I was grabbed from behind. I began kicking and screaming but whoever had grabbed me was pulling me back towards the building.
“Let me go!” I shouted.
“I don’t think so, Pretty Boy.” They whispered cruelly in my ear. “I haven’t given you my parting present yet. Did you really think I was gonna leave without….” He licked my cheek. “Saying bye?”
I whimpered and began struggling more.
“That’s a nice ring on your finger. I suppose its from Gerard?” he hissed, shoving me into the stall I had just been showering in.
“Get off.” I grunted, kicking at him. He yanked my shirt off and buttons flew every which way. He pushed it off of my chest and began kissing my chest. I tried kicking at him more but he shoved me into the wall and pressed himself against me, preventing that. “Get off…”
“Say please.” He laughed, unbuttoning my jeans.
“Bert, please! Please get off!”
“Please, please get off?” he laughed and shoved me hard into the wall.
I whimpered in pain because my back had ran into the faucet and because he was roughly pulling down my pants.
“I hate shoes.” He said casually, bending down to untie my shoes. “They make everything… so much more… difficult.” He pulled them off and I kicked at his face but he stood and slapped me hard across my face.
I whimpered again, but fell quiet when he raised his fist again. I was breathing hard and looking at him.
“Turn around.”
I stood there.
“Turn the fuck around or I’ll fucking make you turn around, you fucking midget!”
I didn’t move. I couldn’t, I was frozen to the spot.
He roughly turned me around and I heard him unzipping his pants. I began to cry quietly, shoulders shaking. He put his hands on my waist and I began to struggle again, earning my head being slammed into the wall. I saw stars before my eyes and cried out as he pushed himself roughly into me…
Gerard’s POV
I woke up to the sounds of screaming. I ran outside and saw police men, my manager, and Bert. I ran onto the bus.
“Frankie? Frank, where are you?”
He was gone.
I ran back out and saw an ambulance. He was sitting on the side, someone talking to him. I ran over, on auto pilot.
“Excuse me, sir, you can’t be over here.” A police man said, next to the man who was talking to Frank. Frank looked dazed, confused, sick, pale, and awful. He had a bruise on his cheek and was covered in a blanket.
“Frank,” I ran past the officer and over to my baby. He began to cry, reaching for me. I scrambled onto the ambulance and took him in my arms. He was naked under the blanket which was the only thing he had on. “What happened?”
“I just wanted a shower.” He sobbed.
“Sir, you’re upsetting him.” A paramedic said.
“Don’t take him.” Frank whimpered. “Please, let him stay.”
I wrapped an arm around him. “What’s happened?”
The police officer I’d run past sighed.
“Someone walked in on this young man being raped by… that man over there.”
I followed his gaze. Bert.
“He was half unconscious. We’ve just now gotten him awake enough to talk.”
My arm around Frank tightened and I pressed a kiss to his forehead. He buried his head in my chest and sobbed, breaking my heart.
“What do I do?”
“I’m having him taken to a hospital for evidence that will be used in a court case.” The officer said. “You can go if you’d like.”
“Can I get him some clothes?” I asked. Frank was shivering even though it was burning up outside.
“You can bring him some to wear after the evidence is gathered. We don’t want to compromise the case.”
“He’s fucking shaking.”
“Gerard…” Frank whispered, looking up.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked desperately.
“I thought… I…. I don’t know.” He began to cry again.
“Are you his brother?” the officer asked.
“I’m his boyfriend.” I said, standing. “I’m going to get you clothes, okay?”
He nodded and laid his head against the side of the ambulance.
I ran in and told Ray, who was awake, what had happened.
His eyes widened. “H—.”
“I don’t have time; I’m going with him to the hospital.” I said, digging through Frank’s suitcase for his favorite pajamas. I got them out, put them in a bag, and looked at Ray.
“Call me, okay? As soon as you can.”
I nodded, hugged him, and ran back out towards the ambulance. They were coaxing Frank to at least sit on the stretcher. He winced as the paramedic helped him sit down and I climbed in by him. I had also grabbed a blanket.
“Can he at least have this?”
The paramedic, a fairly young man, nodded. “That should be fine.”
I slid it over his shoulder and sat by Frankie. He laid his head on my shoulder and I hugged him close to me, never wanting to let go.
“I’m sorry I’m ruining today. It should’ve been so great.” He sobbed. “But I had to go and muck it up.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t your fault, baby. It isn’t and you should never think it is.”
“I wanted today to be so perfect.” He whispered, tears pouring down his cheeks. “Our first day engaged and this happens.”
I kissed him gently. “It will get better, Frankie. I promise.”
“I don’t believe you.” He sobbed. “It can’t get better, Gerard.”