I Love You

I felt my face grow hot when I entered the feminine hygiene department. Ever since I was a kid the isle has embarrassed me. My mother always taught me to be modest, even with my "monthly cycles". This time I wasn't getting tampons but something more life changing. The one object can make everyone stare at me and deem me as a whore just because I bought it. Even though I'm was married and was able to buy one alcohol.

When my hand clasped the package an elderly woman watched, her head slowly shaking. I bit my lip, I tried not to care what people thought but I just wanted to go home already. I was eager to get it done and over with. The anxiety was just killing me. The worry was the test results, I wanted to know now.

As I walked down the isles I saw people stare. They all knew what the package in my hand was. They knew what I did and what I'm going to do. The small package for me was the start of a new life, a huge change and the most important thing in my twenty-five years of life. To others, like a few of my old friends back in high school, it was just the "piss test that told you if you were knocked up or not".

The cashier looked at me while he scanned the test. I could feel his judging eyes burn into me. When I bought the product I was so happy I could get into my vehicle and just go home. It gave me relief to be away from all those people. Especially when I had to use the bathroom so badly.

My lower abdomen twisted into a cramp when I came into the vehicle. My hands touched my stomach and I grunted. I had thought the pains were going away after a week, but it was going on for four. I knew I spotted a little, which was strange I always had a normal flow. So it wasn't my period. It only meant one thing, which is why I wanted to go home.

I had to find out. Driving through the pain I took the five minute drive like a champ and busted through my front door. The Yorkshire Terrier tapped at my feet as I brushed passed him and headed to the guest bathroom downstairs. After researching online it said to get the best results take the test when I do my first urination in the morning. I made myself hold it until my husband left, so we could have the best results.

When I had taken the test out of the package I just stared at it. This wasn't the first pregnancy test I've taken but the weight seemed to have changed. It was the newest brand and the greatest technology. It was supposed to tell you a few days before your missed period. It's been about a week after my missed period. This one shouldn't fool around at all like the other tests. After reading the instructions carefully I kissed the screen on the test and proceeded to urinate on the object.

The dog barked at the door as I peed. Loco was crazy when he thought he was alone, which is how he earned his name. I whispered to him and tried to calm him down as he continued to whine. It saddened me to hear him but what I was doing was more important.

"It's okay, Loco. Momma's just doing a little test. I'll open the door when I'm done, sweetie," I sweet talked the dog until he calmed down.

After I finished the gently set the test on the counter and watched. I was supposed to wait a few minutes to get the readings but I already saw a symbol showing up on the test. Immediately my hands clutched my stomach and every fiber of my being was thrilled.

There was a small plus symbol, the test confirmed my desires of being a mother. I couldn't help but shout in glee and wiggle my body around. It took nine months, nine whole months to get that reading. My husband, Floyd and I have been trying since he got his promotion in his job. We had been married for a year and finally we knew we could support children comfortably. From the start I wanted at least three but Floyd wanted more, "the more the merrier", as he says.

The bathroom door pushed open by Loco was so excited. He was excited because he was finally able to see me but I didn't care. I looked into the mirror and tried to get a mental picture of myself as I was now. My average sized frame would look beautiful carrying a baby. I pushed out my stomach and tried to see what I would look like pregnant. My heart softened more at the thought.

"I'm going to be a mommy..." I whispered to myself. "I'm going to have a cute little baby with Floyd's green eyes and my brown hair. We are going to make the cutest baby in the world."

My hands roamed my stomach, wishing I was showing so I could flaunt it. The people in the store would still think I'm a whore because I'm so young but they don't other me. They judge people before they even get to know them. They don't even look at my wedding finger, they just judged. Pushing away their faces I tried to imagine my child's face. Nothing with bother me now that I get a baby.

Still in front of the mirror I pushed my hair back and stood straight. "Yes, a baby bump will be a good look on me," I said to myself. Right after saying that my phone vibrated. It was Floyd checking in on me.

R U ok? U seemed upset this morn.

I didn't want to tell him over the phone so I sent to him that I was fine, just a stomach virus got to me. In a way I wanted him to be just as surprised as me. He couldn't be so happy if I just bluntly told him, I knew Floyd. He liked figuring things out for himself. Even though this time it would be different, but it seemed like a good idea. I needed to wait to let him know.

Loco pawed at my leg so I lifted him up and carried him to the kitchen. For months I practiced having a baby with Loco, he was a gift from Floyd after all. He was bought to cheer me up after the first two months of trying. Since then I pretended he was my baby by dressing him up and even giving him special dog food. Floyd didn't mind as long as he didn't sleep with us.

I fed Loco as I scoured the kitchen for a dinner that would hint my pregnancy. It was like when Floyd hinted our engagement by giving me a dinner of onion rings, bagels and donuts with icing. All because they looked like rings and even rhymed. It was silly but I loved him for it.

When I searched I found we had baby back ribs in the freezer, baby carrots, peas and corn in cans. I couldn't help but grin as I let the ribs defrost on the counter. Next I looked around the house for the good candles and wine. I was going to also hint it when I had water in my glass and not his.

My whole body should have went crazy from the excitement I had inside. Everything I ever dreamed of was about to come true. My whole life would change for the better, no more lonely days and silent nights. I would have baby I can put all my love and affection into and receive it all back and more. As I waited for the ribs I thought of how I would decorate the room I set aside upstairs for the nursery.

Names already ran through my head. I wanted something sweet like Eve for a little girl. Or maybe Jane or Mica. If I had I boy I would defiantly name him something like Robert, like my father or even Floyd Junior. Floyd would be tickled pink if he had a son named after him. I didn't care what the gender was. My baby is still my baby.

The rest of the day I fluttered around the house. I did the housework within hours and spent the rest of the day daydreaming about my little bundle of joy. Months ago I has bought magazines on how to prepare for a child so I read those. Even my tablet was lit up with searches on the web. Each baby picture I saw I was more excited.

By the time Floyd was due home I had the house ready for him. Loco was dressed in a baby bib and pranced around. The house's lights were dimmed but for the dining room, where two candles sat with the freshly cooked food. I wore my tightest dress, attempting to show of the bump I did not have. So I poked my stomach out to make it look like I had a slight one. It wasn't hard, I was already squishy there.

Floyd opened the door, his face was flustered. I knew he was tired from work so I hoped the news would make his day better. He pecked my cheek and immediately went to wash his hands. I waited at the table for him to join, it was the one time a day we got to sit together like that.

Floyd had changed from his dirty coveralls to his sweat pants and under shirt. He worked in the chemical plants as a welder. It was good pay but I was alone most of the time. Another reason why a baby would make me happy. I couldn't help but hold my stomach.

Immediately when he sat down I copied, just staring at him. "What's with all the fancy dining?" he asked picking up his ribs. I shrugged my shoulders and watched closer. "These ribs are good, honey. I like these."

I nodded my head. "How are the baby carrots? Or the baby corn? What about the baby peas?" I asked emphasizing the words about the baby. Floyd cocked an eyebrow and stared at me. "I'm also glad you like your baby back ribs too," I added then smiled sweetly.

Floyd stopped eating and stared at me. He looked at the wine glasses then at me. I knew he was going to ask something but his eyes got really wide and his jaw dropped. I knew he figured it out that quick. Floyd was a very smart man.

"Are you..really?" he asked, not even able to say the words.

My smile got bigger. "Yes we are, Daddy." The name was odd on my tongue but I knew I had to get used to it. Floyd jumped from his chair and got on his knees before me. I watched in confusion as he laid his head on my lap.

In his eyes was a slight slimmer which made me want to cry too. The dream wasn't only mine but ours. Floyd kissed my hands then my stomach. I bent down then hugged his head and shoulders.

"I can't believe it...I'm going to be a dad," Floyd muttered to himself. I kissed the top of his head, my face being lost in his soft curls. I couldn't help but wish my baby would have his hair too.

Our hands touched each other, the wedding bands glimmered in the light. It was the right thing and the child inside me was going to be the most loved baby in the world. I would protect him with my life.

I haven't even met you and I love you more than myself, I thought to myself then wished he could hear me. It made me feel so much better how Floyd acted.

Floyd was even more excited than I thought, he grinned for the rest of the night. I knew he was thinking of the games he would play with our child. How he would teach his daughter to stand up for herself and his son to be a true gentleman. All I wanted was a happy baby, I already had the happy husband. Life was going to go up for now on, I could already feel it.