We Say Summer

Taking a leap from the third step from the bottom, I flew toward my best friend and tackled him to the living room floor with a loud thud, causing my dad to poke his head into the room. When he saw us laying on the floor in a heap of tangled limbs, he merely sighed before walking back into the kitchen.

“Hal, get off,” Stephen, my best friend that I was currently laying on top of, whined as he wiggled under me in a struggle to get free.

“Stop whining, you big baby,” I huffed. Name calling aside, I did roll off of him and helped him up from the floor. “Are you, my whiny friend, excited for the journey that we are about to embark on?”

Already knowing his response, I held my fist out in anticipation. Stephen bumped his fist against my waiting one and let out a small whoop.

“You bet your ass I am,” he said with a grin. “I’m fuckin’ stoked!”

“Stephen, watch your mouth,” his dad and my ‘uncle,’ Jack, called from the kitchen.

Stephen rolled his eyes at his dad’s comment while I laughed at it. Jack Barakat was most likely the last person on Earth who should be telling anyone to watch their mouth. It could probably be proven that he was the reason the phase was invented.

“Dude, you really can’t tell Stephen to watch his mouth,” I informed Uncle Jack when I walked into the kitchen, Stephen in tow. “Who do you think he learned that language from?”

Uncle Jack raised his bushy eyebrows at me while he reached out and flicked the back of his son’s head. “Since when do you call me ‘dude,’ Haley Bo Baley?” he asked, throwing in the lame childhood nickname he had made up for me when I was about two years old.

Stephen scrunched up his face in annoyance and swatted at his dad’s hand. Uncle Jack swatted back and stuck his tongue out at Stephen before turning his attention back to me.

“I thought I’d come up with some nicknames for you guys,” I said with a shrug.

“What’s mine?” Stephen asked me as a smirk crossed his face.

“Douchebag.”

From behind me, at the counter, my dad started to cough and sputter. Hiding the smile on my face, I hurried over to pat his back and help stop his choking. Once he regained his breath, Dad snapped into his ‘dad of the year’ mode.

“What did I tell you about that word?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to look intimidating.

“Don’t say it in front of Lisa,” I said, referring to my dad’s forever girlfriend and the closest thing to a mom that I had ever known, while flashing the sweet and innocent smile that always got me off of the hook.

Resting his head on the counter, Dad groaned loudly. “Haley, what am I going to do with you?”

“Shower me with love,” I suggested while patting his shoulder.

“Or make you stay by my side the whole time we’re on Warped.”

Obviously thinking that he was quite smart, Dad lifted his head from the counter and smirked at me. But, of course, being the clever child that I am, I found a flaw in his threat.

“So while you’re up on stage, I’ll be there, too, getting in everyone’s way?” I asked with a laugh. “Good plan, Dad!”

His head hit the counter with a thud and he let out another groan. To say that I’m a difficult child to parent would be an understatement.

“Think of a new nickname for Stephen,” Dad told me, his voice muffled by the counter.

Snatching up a half-eaten brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tart that had been left by its lonesome on a plate near the sink and shoving it in my mouth, I hoisted myself up onto the counter, next to where Dad’s head was still resting. “Oh fine, Dad, just suck the fun right out of everything,” I grumbled around my mouthful of Pop Tart.

“Hush, devil child.”

In an attempt to keep everyone in a civil mood, Uncle Jack butted his way into Dad and I’s conversation and changed the subject quickly. “Are all of your bags packed?” he asked me.

“Yep. I’m ready to go whenever you guys are,” I said while rifling through the cabinets, in search of more Pop Tarts. “Shouldn’t we be leaving soon?”

“We kinda need a taxi...which isn’t here yet,” Stephen said in a condescending tone of voice.

I hated it when Stephen acted like he was smarter than me, just because he’s five months older than me. To get back at him for being such a smartass, I threw an empty Pop Tart box at him. The box hit him in the head, causing me to laugh loudly at his expense. He picked the box up from the kitchen floor and pulled back his arm to hurl it back at me, but Uncle Jack grabbed it before I got whacked in the face.

“No fights before noon,” he scolded, flicking Stephen in the back of his head again. Then he reached over to Dad and smacked him on the butt with the Pop Tart box. “Alex, wake up.”

Dad awoke with a start and a groan before he turned to glare at Uncle Jack.

In response to the dirty look being directed toward him, Uncle Jack grinned goofily. “Someone’s tired, huh,” he observed.

Rolling my eyes, I broke off a piece of Pop Tart and popped it in my mouth. Unfortunately, I knew the reason as to why Dad was so tired this morning.

“Someone was up having loud sex with his girlfriend,” I said, shooting Dad a dirty look. “Thank you for that, by the way. Why would I possibly want it to be quiet when I’m trying to get some sleep, right?”

“Oh please, we all know you were up until four in the morning, talking to Stephen,” Dad shot back, making a face at me. “Go double check your bags, devil child.”

I stuck my tongue out at Dad before hopping down from the counter and looping my arm through Stephen’s. “C’mon, Douchebag, lets go somewhere that we’re wanted, since we’re obviously not wanted here,” I huffed.

Stephen and I went upstairs to my room, where my bags were packed and ready to be brought downstairs. I ran to my bed and flopped face down onto it. Beside me, Stephen chuckled while he sat down on the bed in a much slower and less fun manner than I had.

“I’m so excited,” I chattered happily once I had rolled over onto my back and turned to face Stephen. “I can’t believe your mom and Lisa agreed to let us go with our dads.”

“I thought for sure Mom wasn’t going to let me go. It would have sucked if I had to stay here while you were out having the best summer of your life,” Stephen said, a pout settling on his face at the thought of having to stay home by himself.

Hating to see my best friend looking so upset, I sat up and kissed his cheek, then slapped it softly with a laugh. "I would have stayed home and we would have the best summer of our lives right here. I'd never leave you behind,” I assured him.

“Aw, you two are so cute!”

Stephen and I turned around to find Uncle Jack standing in the doorway of my room, watching us with a smile on his face.

“Dad, shut up,” Stephen whined as his cheeks turned red.

“Douchebag, don’t tell your dad to shut up.” Uncle Jack picked up my backpack from the floor and hoisted it onto his back. “Alright, cab is here. Lets go, kiddies!”

I glared at him before rolling off of my bed and landing on my feet, unlike Stephen, who landed flat on his ass. “Would you stop calling us kiddies?” I asked as I helped his clumsy son up from the floor.

“But that’s what you are,” he replied with a shrug.

I shrugged back before picking up my duffel bag. “Fine, then I’m calling you Old Lebanese Man from now on,” I told him.

“I’m not old!”

“You’re not as young as you used to be...” I trailed off and picked up my laptop case. “Steph, could you grab my laptop from my desk, please?”

He did as I asked and handed my Macbook over to me. Once the computer was secure in its case, we followed Uncle Jack downstairs. When we got to the bottom of the staircase that led to the living room, we found Dad and Lisa sharing a goodbye kiss.

“Geez, didn’t you two get enough of that last night?” I asked with a groan.

The pair separated from their lip-lock, but remained by each other’s side. Dad wrapped his arm around Lisa's waist loosely and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Could you try not to get into much trouble while you’re gone?” Lisa asked me.

“I’ll try, but with my partner in crime by my side twenty-four seven, I can’t make any promises.”

I exchanged grins with Stephen as we bumped fists once again. The two of us had got ourselves into some sticky situations in the past and the future showed us getting into plenty more.

“You two are in for a lot of fun,” Lisa told Dad and Uncle Jack with a chuckle.

The two rolled their eyes and mumbled an unenthusiastic “yay,” followed by a groan.

"Don't party too much, no drinking, no boys aside from Stephen in your bunk," Lisa told me, then turned to Stephen. "Same goes for you.”

“I didn’t plan on having any boys others than myself in my bunk anyway,” he said.

Lisa reached out and ruffled his hair. “Don’t be a smartass. No girls aside from Haley in your bunk.”

“Yes ma’am!” I saluted Lisa and reached out to give her a hug. “I’m gonna miss you, Lisa.”

“I’m going to miss you, too, Hal. Call me everyday?”

I nodded as we separated from our embrace. Stephen, Uncle Jack, and I grabbed our bags and headed outside to the taxi, leaving Dad and Lisa to their final goodbye.

“Jesus, could you walk any slower?” I asked Stephen, pushing past him to get to the taxi quicker. “These bags aren’t exactly light, you know.”

He picked up his pace and ran up to shove into me. “Well maybe if you didn’t pack so much crap, your bags wouldn’t be so heavy.”

“Douchebag, if you don’t-”

Uncle Jack situated himself between Stephen and I and nudged his son away from me. “Alright, you two, knock it off!”

I blew a raspberry at Stephen before shoving him out of the way to deposit my bags in the trunk of the taxi first. He made sure to elbow me when he put his bags next to mine in the trunk.

“No, I get the window seat!” I shouted at Stephen as I struggled to climb over him to get to the seat I wanted.

He smacked at me blindly, hitting my butt, and yelled, “No!” repeatedly.

In the middle of our fighting, Dad had managed to sneak outside without me noticing, so when I smacked Stephen in the face, Dad was right there to see it.

“Haley Marie Gaskarth, what did I tell you about smacking Stephen in the face?” he scolded.

Pouting, I slumped into the middle seat and waited for Dad and Uncle Jack to get into the cab so we could go.

Stephen poked my cheek and when I turned to him, he smiled sheepishly. “Sit here, Hal.”

Returning the smile, I climbed over him to get to the window seat and he scooted over to the middle seat.

Finally, Dad and Uncle Jack settled in the taxi (Uncle Jack in the back, with Stephen and I, and Dad in the front with the driver) and we were ready to leave. Lisa was standing out front of the house, waiting to see us off, so as the taxi pulled away, we squeezed around the windows and waved to her maniacally. Once she was out of sight, I settled back into my seat with a grin on my face.

Best summer of my life, here I come.