Lucifer's Angel

Jean pulled off of the road into the parking lot of the hotel that Monaco had mentioned, and I was thankful. I had been closed into the car for far too long and Mary’s radiating hostility towards me didn’t help to lift my mood. She was angry and had a right to be; I’d been blunt in telling her about the deaths of the two people who cared about her most, but she would eventually have to see that what I’d done was for her own good; she would receive no mercy here, and it was not my job, nor my team’s job to give such a thing and to do so would be wrong. She would only be hurt more in the end.

She’ll thank me someday. At least, that was what I told myself. If she ever forgives me…. Letting out a sigh, I stretched out as much as the car would allow me before reaching for the door handle of the small, black car. Just as I was about to get out to go inside and book a room, Lafayette’s voice cut through my thoughts.

“Don’t worry Colonel; I’ll take care of it.” Before either Mary or I could say something, Jean got out, completely ignoring the glare Mary gave him. Lafayette merely smirked at us both with a look that read ‘you’ll thank me later.’ I had a hard time believing that, but Jean was usually right, and that was why I took his advice to heart. That was the his job after all as a Warrant Officer, to help me in things that I was too stupid, or rather, stubborn to fix, do, or figure out by myself.

“This is just great,” Mary grumbled. I didn’t miss the animosity in her voice.

“He could’ve at least left the heat on,” I replied, trying my best to keep my tone light and fun.

“Oh,” Mary snapped sharply. “Mr. Flame Thrower’s cold? Too bad.” I let out a laugh, not bothering to keep the amusement I felt towards both her words and the fact that she sounded so damn tired to myself. I was sure I sounded the same to her.

“That’s a new nickname,” I laughed lightly, creating a small ball of flame above my hand. "Much different than the one I had during the war. Actually, I think I prefer that one. Perhaps now Jean won't hate being called French Fry so much." Mary looked over at me, staring like I'd suddenly lost my mind. I felt like I wasn't far from it.

"You've lost your mind, Michaels," Mary replied, looking off out her window.

"Well, yeah, that's what happens when you join the military. You give your mind over to Fuhr- never mind. Forget I what I just said. Anyways, aside from... out right going crazy when you join the military, you also learn ruthlessness. Or at least, those of us that fought in The Great Civil War did," I explained, sliding down in my seat with a sigh. I ran a hand through my hair. I needed more coffee.

Mary didn't say anything for a while, she remained silent, thinking.

"What are you getting at, Roy?" she asked quietly. We both needed coffee, or sleep, at least. Well, she needed sleep. I didn't.

"What I'm getting at is that I am trying to apologize for how I acted on the train. I let my emotions get out of check, and that made you more upset then you already were."

"Emotions were out of check? Come on, Roy, you're just human." I kept silent after that. Human, what did that word even mean anymore?

"I am a soldier, Mary, and an officer at that. I am expected to not let my emotions interfere with my job. After you left our cart on the train, Monaco was kind enough to remind me that you do not know as much as you think you do about the Great Civil War. Your comments about blackmail struck a nerve with me, and I snapped at you. I am just trying to apologize for that. I'm also sorry about Miles and Katherine," I explained quietly.

"What do you mean I don't know as much as I think I do about the war?" Mary snapped bitterly. If I didn't know any better I'd say she looked offended. "The war was caused by cultural tension in Europe."

"And it was also caused by generals picking sides and different continents spying on each other. We used North American Natives as code talkers, spies, and those that were captured and tortured until they were rescued. IF they were rescued, that is. That's what's generally taught in history classes, yes, but what is forgotten is during the war it was brother against brother, family against family. Most soldiers did not want to fight," I answered.

“Then why did they fight,” Mary questioned angrily.

”We were forced. Everyone in the military has something to hide, something that can be used against them,” I replied. The car fell silent as Mary processed my words, what I was telling her. Reality was so very bitter.

”You were blackmailed.” You, I thought to myself. You, meaning me. She didn’t know. She probably never would. She'd never know just what the war had done not only to me, but to everyone else who fought in it, or were affected by it. She'd never know what a monster the war has turned me into. It taught me to have no mercy, to never apologize, and it taught me that there is no place in the world of a soldier for peace. I showed no mercy because I would receive none. I would never apologize because I did not deserve forgiveness, and there was no way I could change that.

“Exactly,” I started softly. “They were blackmailed.”

“And what about you?” Her question came like a knife, a knife stabbing me right in my heart.

“I kept my head down and did what I was told.” I turned my head, hearing someone knock on the window. It was Lafayette. I let out quiet sigh of relief, knowing this conversation was now over. I was thankful. At least now Mary might forgive me. She didn’t have to, but at least she understood why I’d been so bitter before. That was better than nothing. It was an attempt at least. An attempt and getting something I will never deserve. Mary and I got out of the car to join Lafayette, Monaco, and a very sleepy Lucienne. She looked as if she could fall asleep standing up.

“How are you still tired, Luci? You’ve slept for the whole ride here!” Monaco yelled out, nearly stopping his foot. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Stop speaking so loud or I’m going turn you into an ice sickle,” Lucienne grumbled out, glaring at her older brother.

”I’m already an ice sickle, what good will that do you?”

“Maybe she can just use you as a pillow,” I laughed. Both Lucienne and Danny’s eyes widened both for entirely different reasons. Lucienne had an evil grin, Monaco looked mortified. Silently, he slowly stepped away from his sister, over by Lafayette.

”In that case I’ll just be quiet… Quiet as the thing that makes French Fry over here scream like a little girl.” All of us let out a laugh at that, all of except for Lafayette, who only looked annoyed.

“Oh, that is so not funny,” he chimed.

”Oh,” Mary started. “Yes it is.”