Perfect Symmetry

Jonathan

It was impossible to sleep that night. I left Sharpie’s at around ten and watched a bit of ESPN before heading to bed. I tossed and turned for hours. Most of my thoughts were on Jazz and how guilty I felt. She was with Stalberg, for God’s sake. He was a teammate... my teammate...and a damn good person, most of the time. He didn’t deserve that.

At the same time, there was a part of me that was trying to argue that Jazz was my friend first, and while I had denied it for a long time, I had had a soft spot for her for a long time. If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t even have met Stalberg...

But that wasn’t fair. I had told everyone I didn’t want to date, and after the fiasco with Danielle, I was even less inclined to do so. But there was something about Jazz’s honesty, her unruly curls that were so unlike the silky straight, well managed hair he was used to; there was something refreshing about the little make-up work on a day-to-day basis, and the fact that she wasn’t a size 000. She made me laugh and want to rip her head off at the same time. Is this even healthy?

But she wasn’t mine to kiss. And even if it had felt amazing and I wouldn’t have stopped if she had pulled away, she was taken. I imagined her lying in her own bed, feeling guilty over something I had initiated and I felt even worse.

I resolved to go over tomorrow and apologize to her. With that solidly in my mind, I turned off the light and went to sleep.
~

I was up at six to get ready for my flight. I grabbed my bag, said bye to Hailey, and took the El to the airport. The plane was pretty empty, so I stretched out on an entire row of seats, listed to my music, and read Jane Austen for the entire flight. I tried not to think about Jonathan or Viktor or hockey at all, but it was difficult, even with Youngblood Hawke’s screeching guitar and Jane Austen’s eloquent words to distract me.

When the plane touched down in San Jose, a wave of fatigue hit me and I wanted the plane to take off all over again so I could sleep. Instead, I stared out of my window. It looked warm, and the trees were moving ever so gently thanks to a breeze.

I walked out of the passenger only area and saw my dad waiting for me by baggage claim.

“Jazz,” he greeted with a smile, giving me a quick hug.

I let him take my rolling carry on bag and fell into step with him.

“Flight okay?” he asked conversationally as he headed for the exit.

I nodded. “Fine. Didn’t get much sleep, though. It was totally empty so I had my feet up.”

We walked outside and I was hit with a wall of warm air that had me itching to take off my sweatshirt. I grinned.

“I forgot it could be this warm at this time of year,” I joked, rolling my sleeves up.

“Hey, we warned you about the dangers of moving to Chicago,” my dad reminded me.

I laughed. “I hope mom’s not cleaning too much? I should have given her more warning.”

My dad looked at me curiously. “Yeah, it was a little unexpected...but we’ve missed you. And I’m pretty sure mom would have been cleaning no matter how much warning you gave her.”

I chuckled. “Good point.”
~

The drive home from the airport was short, but I was dozing off in the passenger seat. When we got home, my mom was in the kitchen, boiling water in a kettle for tea.

“I’ll have a cup too,” I said impishly.

“Ha! Well you can make your own then,” she replied teasingly.

She gave me a warm hug and then frowned at me. “You look tired, Jasmina.”

“I am,” I admitted. “I think I’ll take a nap.”

My mom patted my back and I headed upstairs to my old room. It was exactly the same as I remembered; pink walls, piles of books, concert posters, and lots of old clothes that didn’t make the cut when I moved to Illinois.

I gave Hailey a quick call at the apartment and left a message to say I made it okay and I was at home if she needed to call me and then climbed into bed for a bit of a snooze.
~
Jonathan

I was in my car at 8:30 on a day off, which was different. I drove carefully to Jazz and Hailey’s apartment, trying to figure out what I would say. She deserved an apology from me, and I would explain to her that I was totally out of line. And maybe she would explain why she ran off in tears? It seemed a tad dramatic. Although she had technically been cheating on her boyfriend of almost six months so that might explain it...

I parked the car and managed to time it so that someone was leaving the building just as I walked up to her building. I held the door open for the old lady that was leaving and then took the elevator to her floor. I knocked tentatively and waited, fidgeting nervously.

Hailey opened the door abruptly and I flinched.

She looked suspicious. “Hey Jonathan.”

“Um...hi Hailey. Is Jazz here by any chance?” I stumbled on my words like an idiot.

Hailey gave me a strange look. “I have to finish my breakfast. Why don’t you just come in?”

“How is that a response to ‘is Jazz home’?” I asked as I walked into their apartment.

She snorted. “Well it wasn’t. Can I get you some coffee?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re avoiding my question. And yes, I would like some coffee.”

Hailey passed me a cup and then returned to her toast and nutella. She had pixie-like eyes, and they were staring me down.

“So what’s up?” she asked casually, taking a large bite of toast.

I cleared my throat uncertainly. “Well I just sort of wanted to talk to Jazz.” My eyes darted to her bedroom door. “Is she still sleeping?”

Hailey refused to answer. “Do you want a bite of this? It’s divine.”

I sighed deeply. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

She feigned ignorance. “I’m saying things.”

“Exactly. You’re saying things but they don’t mean anything,” I clarified.

She opened her mouth to reply when the phone rang. She looked at it and so did I. Nobody moved.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” I asked in annoyance.

“Tell me what you wanted to tell Jazz,” Hailey pounced finally.

I smirked. “No. Go get her from her room and I’ll tell her--”

I stopped talking when the answering machine beeped and a familiar voice came on.

Hi Hailey, it’s Jazz. I just thought I’d led you know that I arrived in San Jose fine and my dad picked me up so I’m at home. The flight was fine, and it’s so warm here I’ve missed it. Anyway, I’ll be back in about ten days. My mom says hi. Call me either on my cell or my home number...I think you have it. Okay, talk to you later hun. Bye.

My eyes shot accusingly to Hailey, who looked surprisingly guilty.

“She’s in California?” I asked angrily.

She nodded. “She left this morning. Needed to clear her head.”

I rubbed the back of my neck anxiously. “I need to talk to her. I’m the reason she needs to clear her head.”

Hailey looked sympathetic. “Well you can call her cell--”

I broke in. “No, it’s not phone talk, it’s face-to-face talk.”

“Well you can’t go storming off to California. Playoffs start next week. You’ll just have to wait until she gets back,” Hailey explained diplomatically.

I frowned. Why couldn’t I just head out to the west coast? Just for a few days. I could be back before game one. Hailey seemed to read my mind, because she flicked my head irritably.

“You can’t go storming to her parent’s place, Jonathan,” she reprimanded me.

I gave her the patented puppy eyes. “Hailey. Please. I just need her address. I’ll be gone four days or so. I need to figure this out now or my head will explode and I’ll play like shit for playoffs. Do you want to be responsible for my shitty playing?”

Hailey gave me a knowing look but I could see her resolve crumbling as I stared at her.

“Don’t hurt her,” she muttered as she pulled out a post-it and scribbled something down and thrust it at me. “She’s gonna kill me for this.”

I kissed her forehead sloppily. “You’re the best Hailey.”

“Yeah you better damn remember that!” she yelled as I bounded out of their apartment eagerly.
~
Jazz

It was nice to be at home again. I relaxed in my backyard with lemonade and a good book, went shopping with a couple of my best friends who had never left the area we had grown up in, and got my nails done at the local salon.

I think my mother noticed that I wasn’t quite happy as a clam, and she suggested we go for a walk the next morning. I knew what this meant immediately. We always had our heart-to-hearts while on walks, and I knew she was dying for information.

“So what’s going on, Jazz?” she asked quietly after we had walked about half a mile.

I sighed, and pulled my hair into a tighter ponytail and slowed my walk down a bit. She did the same.

“I guess things are a little messy right now,” I replied cryptically.

My mom’s brown eyes were concerned. “Is it work? Were you let go?”

I clutched her shoulder comfortingly. “No, no. Work is fine. I was promoted, actually, and I’m even more busy now.”

She looked relieved. “Well that’s good I suppose. But if it isn’t work...is it Hailey? Is everything okay with her.”

I nodded. “We had a small glitch but it’s all fine now.”

“Well honey if it isn’t work or your friends, I have to ask about boys now,” my mother sounded apologetic.

I winced. “I know.”

“How’s Viktor?” she prompted.

I took a deep breath. “We...aren’t seeing each other any more.”

My mom stopped walking and gave me a hug.

“Oh Jazz I’m so sorry. When did it happen?” she asked soothingly.

I detached from her and started walking again to discourage the tears that were resurfacing again.

“About a week ago. It sucks,” I answered dully.

“You two were so close at Christmas. He seemed to really like you,” my mom continued in a sad voice.

I frowned. “Well, some things don’t work out. But I was feeling over whelmed with that and work so I took a couple weeks off and I wanted to come see you and Dad.”

“Of course. What happened between the two of you, anyway? Was he cheating? Because he is a famous sports player, Jazz, so you can’t be too surprised that he was up to no good,” she lectured me.

I stopped her. “He wasn’t cheating. He thought I wasn’t very invested in the relationship so he ended it.”

My mother rolled her eyes. “How very like a man. Doesn’t he know you work? You have a life outside of your boyfriend, I hope you told him that.”

I sighed. “It’s not that I didn’t have enough time for him, Mom. It’s like...I was waiting for someone else other than Viktor.”

“Other than Viktor? To whom exactly are you referring?” she queried.

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I fudged. “It’s not really a specific person. It’s more of a concept,” I lied.

“Wasn’t he good for you?” she asked.

“Viktor was amazing to me, Mom. It just didn’t work out. Can we drop the subject now?” I pleaded.

She did, at least for now, and we finished our walk with light-hearted small talk about life in Chicago and the neighbor’s recent renovations. When we got home, my mother went for a shower and I went to check my email.

I was halfway through an email from Liza when the doorbell rang. I hurried over to the door and opened it and almost fainted from who was there.

“Jonathan Toews, what the hell are you doing at my house?” I choked, grabbing onto the door for support.
~