Perfect Symmetry

The Blackhawks’ opponents for the next round were revealed just a couple days later; it was the Sharks. It was time for my heart to get ripped in two. My dad called me when he found out.

“So what are you going to do?” he asked solemnly over the phone.

“Dad, you’re talking like it’s some life-threatening decision. I’m not choosing which team to pull out of a burning house; it’s just the playoffs! I’ll figure it out,” I exclaimed in irritation.

There was a long pause. “So which team would you pull out of a burning building.”

I laughed wryly. “I’ll talk to you later, Dad.”

“Go Sharks!” he whooped before hanging up.

“Yeah,” I muttered flatly. “Go Sharks.”
~
I went back to work on the same day as game one, and it felt good to be back in the office, and the rest of the staff greeted me with open arms.

“It’s good to have you back, Jazz,” Liza grinned from ear to ear when she popped her head into my office before lunch.

“Hey, Liza. It’s good to be back,” I agreed.

I was quickly busy all over again. I was working with the Chicago Bulls for a pro- healthy, exercise campaign geared towards kids and youth. I got to meet several players and was told they were very famous, but my mind was strictly on hockey.

The Blackhawks were down in the series against the Sharks 3-2, and the Sharks could close the deal at the United Center the next day. It had been very close so far, two of the games going to overtime and all of the others consisted of less than 3 goal differential. The boys were taking it hard, and I was keeping my mouth shut. I knew that one teasing remark could turn into a full-blown row.

Jonathan sunk back into reclusiveness with the team, and Hailey and I spent a lot of time doing girly things like manicures and movie dates. Sometimes we dragged Abby and baby Maddy Sharp with us too, since we liked company and she wasn’t seeing much of Patrick as well.

“So Jazz, I heard you and Jonny were getting cuddly at the bar after round one,” Abby winked at me knowingly.

I choked on the lemonade I was drinking. “Excuse me? Who told you that?”

“A certain Adam Burish,” Abby admitted with a grin. “When did you two hook up?”

“We didn’t--” I started to say.

“It was when they were both in San Jose!” Hailey called out before I could answer.

Abby gasped. “I knew it! God, it’s about time the two of you got together. How was the first...rump?”

Hailey burst into silly giggles and I was growing red.

“We haven’t...rumped,” I rolled my eyes. “We’ve only kissed, really. And we’re not even dating.”

Abby frowned. “But you like each other.”

“Yes.”

“And you both know that you like each other,” she continued.

I sighed. “Yes.”

“And you want to date him,” she pressed.

“Yes,” I said emphatically.

Abby grinned triumphantly. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?”

Hailey nodded in agreement and the two of them exchanged high fives rather eagerly. I shot Hailey a look.

“What?” she asked defensively. “I believe I told you something very similar.”

I groaned. “Look, it’s playoff time. He is 100% about hockey right now. I told him we would discuss things after the playoffs end.”

“But why? You can be in a relationship during playoff time. I am living proof,” Hailey laughed but her eyes were serious.

I was going to say that it was different because our relationship or whatever was so new and that Jon was the captain and he felt even more pressure and how I don’t want to distract him and all, but something inside split. The real reason for my reluctance to be with Jonathan came through.

“Won’t it look horrible if I take up with Jonathan just a month after Viktor?” I asked worriedly.

Hailey blinked. “That’s what you’re so concerned about?”

“Honey, he dumped you. You can date whenever and whoever you want to,” Abby said definitively.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I treated him poorly and...”

“It doesn’t matter. You should both be moving on,” Abby persisted.

I winced. I was going to have to tell them what Viktor had said when he broke up with me. His words echoed in my head. I would probably never forget them.
Toews had already staked his claim on you. And you always wanted him...

That had made me feel like a cheap person, and I wanted to cry just thinking about it.

“You guys...I never really explained part of Viktor’s reasoning when it came to ending our relationship,” I started shakily.

Both of the girls were looking at me and waiting in concern for me to continue.

“He said...he said the reason I was never really in this relationship was because Jonathan and I had this incredible attraction to each other. He said now that we had broken up I could feel free to really do what my heart wanted,” I explained, feeling my vision turn red and my eyes tear up.

There was silence and I felt Hailey’s hand on my back.

“Oh Jazz, why wouldn’t you tell me that?” she murmured. “That’s a huge detail.”

“That’s an important detail,” Abby added with a sympathetic look. “And I understand why you’re feeling uncomfortable. But I think you should do just what Viktor said. Follow your heart.”

I nodded. “I know. I just...don’t want him to be right. I don’t want to admit that Jonathan was the deciding factor in one of my biggest relationships.”

“Who cares if he’s right? And that relationship is over, Jazz; try and focus on your potential new relationship with Jonathan. You’re both crazy about each other; a blind man could see that,” Abby assured me with a smile.

“I..I don’t want to be Rory!” I burst out. “And I don’t want Viktor to be Dean. Dean got totally screwed over and he was never really over it. Plus Rory and Jess never really lasted!” I started ranting about Gilmore Girls.

Abby looked confused but Hailey jumped right in.

“Jazz. You. Are. Not. Rory. Gilmore. And Stalberg is much stronger than Dean. He ended the relationship calmly even though I’m sure you could have worked through things and carried on as a couple if you wanted to. Your life is not like Rory’s. You need to stop watching those fucking season DVD’s, I swear to God,” she exclaimed.

“Sorry,” I whispered sheepishly. “I swear, if you keep watching that show enough you find so many parallels. You’re both right. But I still want to wait until at least this series against the Sharks ends before I start anything.”

“Fair enough,” Abby agreed. “But don’t wait any more than you have to.”
~
Unfortunately, the end of the Sharks series also meant the end of the playoffs for the Blackhawks. It took seven games, but the Sharks ousted the ‘Hawks and moved on to the conference finals against Vancouver. My first emotion was sadness. I guess that’s how I knew I was a full-blown Blackhawks fan now. I thought of all the effort and the sweat and blood that my boys had shed and I wanted to punch some walls.

However I thought of how hard the Sharks battled and how they had never won a cup. I thought of Logan Couture’s over time goal and Joe Pavelski’s breakaway goal while the Sharks were shorthanded and I smiled. The Sharks had deserved to win, but that didn’t mean the Blackhawks didn’t deserve to win.

Game Seven was in San Jose so I had to wait a couple days before the boys came home and we could mourn. There was no talking to any players for an entire week. It was an unspoken rule.

Hailey called me a few days into the forbidden week and announced she was going to plan a huge “happy summer” party at a posh bar/club just around the corner from her place.

“Are you sure they’ll want to party?” I questioned her worriedly.

“You mean are they going to want to get drunk and look stupid on the dance floor? Yeah, I think they will. They may have lost, but they’re always ready to get down and party,” Hailey assured me.

“I guess when you put it like that,” I laughed. “When is it?”

“Saturday. Exactly a week after game seven. Seems appropriate. Dress slutty okay?” she prompted me.

“I’ll try. How’s Seabs doing?” I asked sympathetically.

Hailey had been staying with Brent since game seven since she wanted to give him moral and emotional support. And sexual, as I had added when she told me.

“A bit better. He actually watched the Sharks/Canucks game one today,” Hailey reported cheerfully.

“Yeah so did I. The Sharks kicked ass! I was so proud,” I said brightly.

“Hmm well you’d better stop all that kind of talk on Saturday. The last think the boys are going to want to hear about is how the Sharks kick ass,” she replied firmly.

I pouted even though she couldn’t see me. “Okay fine. So I’ll see you on Saturday?”

“Nine o’clock please!” she called out before I hung up.
~

Saturday evening came around and once again I had to do my own fucking make-up. Why was this so difficult? I watched some YouTube tutorials and managed to create a cat-eye flick with my damn eyeliner and then I used some eye shadow and a bit of blush before deciding that enough was enough.

I wore my black mini again; only this time I wore bright red loose tank top. I was too scared to wear matching red lipstick so I walked out in ridiculously high heels and my bag in my hand. I took the El again, since I had a feeling I wouldn’t want to drive home at the end of the night.

The party was hopping once I got there. I think every single member of the team was making an appearance. I spotted several members doing shots, some were dancing with girls, and others were sitting around playing cards.

There was a big banner reading “Happy summer boys” and lots of fruity drinks in honor of summer. Patrick Sharp was at the bar and I patted his back as I passed him.

“Hey you,” he smiled that dazzling smile and I blinked stupidly.

“Patrick,” I curtseyed teasingly.

He laughed. “Can I get you a drink young lady?”

“A mojito would be lovely actually,” I stopped walking and stood next to him.

“You got it,” he nodded, getting the bartender’s attention.

He handed me the glass and I smiled in gratitude. “So did you watch the game?” he asked heavily.

I patted his back. “Patrick, this party is about looking forward to the summer, not back. So just forget about hockey and get pissed drunk and dance to bad music, okay?”

“So you watched it,” he concluded, taking a sip of his drink and giving me a knowing look.

“Talk to me after a few drinks,” I gave him a grin and then walked off.

I wandered around and eventually found Hailey, sipping a mojito like me and talking to some girls that I didn’t know. She broke away from the pack and came to say hello to me.

“Hey sexy,” she looked me up and down teasingly.

I laughed and gave her a hug. “You look like a fox Hailey.”

“Why thank you my dear. Do you like what I’ve done here? Are you feeling the summer?” she asked me worriedly as she sipped her drink.

I giggled. “How many mojitos have you had babe?”

She shrugged. “I don’t fucking care; it’s summer, baby!”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah this isn’t college. We still have work in the summer.”

“I know but the summer means I can move in with Brent and we can really be together, you know? Oh! These girls were going to start a game of blackjack. You have to come,” she begged.

So I played blackjack for about an hour. The girls filtered in and out and some of the boys joined in. Niemi was actually a pretty good card player, even with a couple of drinks in him. After a while, Kaner came over and grabbed my arm and dragged me out onto the dance floor.

He was a spazzy dancer and it cracked me up, and I was a little tipsy at this point, so I wasn’t the best at dancing either. Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” came on and Kaner and I both did the moves, although Kaner was sort of just goofing around and mocking me. When we took a break he pulled me into a close hug.

“Hey I never got to say this before...it sucks that you got dumped. And you’re handling things really well,” he smiled at me.

I kissed his cheek. “Thanks Pat. But why are you bringing this up now?”

He frowned. “Because Vik’s here. Haven’t you seen him yet?”

I felt the walls closing in on me and I began to breathe heavily.

“He’s...here?” I choked. “What?”

Patrick was beating himself up. “Don’t worry about it. He’s with some girls uhh I mean, shit...He’s just drinking like the rest of us.”

I opened my mouth to say something when strong arms wrapped around my waist and I sank back into Jonathan’s tall figure behind me.

“Hey stranger,” I greeted him with a smile. I hadn’t seen him all night.

“I was at the bar,” he explained. “Want to dance?”

Silversun Pickups’ “The Pit” was playing, which wasn’t exactly a twerking song, but I swayed my hips and moved my arms and grabbed Jonathan’s arms too.

The song quickly transitioned into something by Chris Brown and we all got down while laughing hysterically as Adam Burish and Kaner danced with each other, both equally spazzy as the other.

I began to sweat feverishly, so I told Jonathan I would be back in a few minutes and escaped into the cool Chicago air, just outside the bar. I could hear the blaring music and the cheers of the people inside, but I just let my skin breathe and cool the sweat on my skin. I let out a big breath. It was nice out here.

“I guess we both needed a break from the party,” a deep voice remarked from behind me.

I jumped about a foot in the air and felt sick when I realized it was Viktor.

“Jesus you scared the shit out of me,” I swore.

He smiled slightly. “Sorry.”

There was an awkward silence.

“So...how are you?” I asked stupidly.

Viktor looked at me with a knowing look. I shook my head and laughed softly at my own question. “I’m sorry. That’s a stupid thing to ask a person who just got eliminated from the playoffs. Just ignore me.”

“It’s hard to talk all of a sudden isn’t it?” he remarked. “We used to be pretty good at it.”

I sighed. “I know. You know I saw you a while ago. You were coming out of a coffee shop and I was going in.”

He wrinkled his brow. “I don’t remember that.”

“Well, I was in the street,” I admitted. “And I wasn’t sure if it was okay for us to run into each other on the street so I ran away.”

Viktor gave me a surprised look. “You’re kidding,”

“I didn’t know whether you hated me,” I explained quietly.

“You could have said hi. I don’t hate you,” he chuckled briefly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I nodded. “Well now I know.”

We stood awkwardly for a while and then I was going to leave, so I turned on my heel and kept my gaze on the floor as I walked past Viktor. However, his hand grabbed my arm and guided me over to him.

“I hear you’ve been keeping Toews on a long leash,” he declared with a curious smile.

“What..I-uh, who told you that?” I spluttered.

Viktor shrugged. “I heard Abby telling Patrick the story at the bar.”

I buried my face in my hands. “God I’m so embarrassed.”

Viktor touched my shoulder gently. “Don’t be. I understand. Look Jazz, I loved our relationship, but it didn’t work out and it’s over now. We should both be getting over it.”

“So you’re...getting over it?” I asked him quickly.

Viktor nodded. “As a matter of fact, I’ve been on a couple dates with this particular girl that I really like.”

I grinned. “Oh Viktor that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you.”

He beamed back. “So it’s okay for you to want Jonathan. It’s okay for the two of you to do whatever you want.”

“I didn’t think I ever needed your permission,” I retorted.

Viktor laughed. “No you don’t. But you know what I mean. I’m a big boy. We’re not together anymore.”

I sighed in relief and then wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his sweater. He smelled nice and familiar, musky and fresh at the same time, and I felt his arms wrap around my waist habitually.

“Can we at least be friends?” I pleaded. “I would hate to feel awkward about saying hello to you.”

Viktor chuckled and his chest vibrated. “I would be upset if we weren’t friends. You’re one of the sweetest people I know Jazz.”

“Same to you Viktor,” I murmured, kissing his cheek.

Viktor pulled away slightly and gently kissed my lips. It was very chaste and very quick, but an angry voice had me jumping out of Viktor’s arms.

“Well that is just fucking rich,” Jonathan snarled and he walked away from the bar, away from us, and into the night.