Perfect Symmetry

I was still in sweats and crying when the doorbell rang. When I realized that it was probably some of the team at my front door, I wiped my eyes furiously and tried to make myself look presentable in thirty seconds. It was impossible, of course. I wiped away the eyeliner that was running down my face and pulled my hair out of its bun. I adjusted my tank top so that it wasn’t so twisted and pulled a sweater over it so that no one would have to see the five pounds that I had gained over the past few weeks.

When I opened the door, I was relieved to see it was Sidney. Anyone else and I would have been at a serious loss.

“Hey Jazz; I picked up some beers because I don’t think you understand how much these guys can eat,” he was holding up several packs of beer.

I nodded. “Thanks. Come on in.”

“The place is great! I’m jealous,” Sid teased as I shut the door behind him. When I didn’t respond, he looked over to me and frowned deeply. “Jazz? Are you okay?”

I was going to reply when the doorbell rang again, startling both of us. I gave Sid a pained smile before opening the door.

“Hey Jordan,” I greeted weakly, stepping aside to let him in.

“Am I early or something? Where’s the party at?” he asked excitedly, peering around the corner as if there were more people lurking in other rooms.

I furrowed my brow. “I think there was some miscommunication. This isn’t a party. At most it’s a kickback; we can drink some beers, order pizza and maybe watch some TV.”

Jordan pouted. “I guess that’s sort of fun. Next time, I’ll host a party. Where’s your phone? I’ll order the pizzas. Guys are real picky.”

“Um..it’s in the kitchen,” I pointed vaguely to where the kitchen was.

Jordan ambled over in that direction, but Sid hadn’t moved. He was still planted just a few feet from me and his gaze was making me uncomfortable.

“Jazz if you want to do this another night, we can,” his voice was soothing and calm.

I shook my head violently. “No, no. It’s really fine. I’m fine. Come on, I’ll show you the living room and stuff.”

We walked into the living room and Jordan was already in there, lounging and on the phone with some pizza place as if he had been here a million times. Sidney rolled his eyes and sat next to his teammate, pushing Jordan’s long legs off of the couch in disgust.

The doorbell rang again and James, Evgeni, and Marc-Andre were standing there, all with grins slapped on their faces and holding bags of chips.

“We bring offerings,” James explained, motioning to the chips.

I bit back a smile. “Lovely; Sid and Jordan are in the living room. Go ahead.”

That was our group; just the six of us. It was nice. We turned on the television and Forrest Gump was on, which no one could really argue against watching. We half watched, mostly drank, and talked a lot. They asked me a lot of questions, which I had anticipated. They wanted to know about the writing I would be doing, but they also wanted to know about my life in Chicago, my hockey allegiances (they were disappointed that I was a full-fledged Sharks fan) and even wanted to know about my family.

Jordan asked the most probing questions; did I have a boyfriend, did I date any of the Blackhawks...those were tough to hear, but I was an expert in evading questions and Sidney helped change the subject a lot.

When the pizzas arrived we were all shocked to see that all four pizzas were topped with olives and anchovies. I glared at Jordan.

“What the fuck did you order, Jordan?” Sidney demanded, taking a whiff of the fish and recoiling immediately.

Jordan had a smug look on his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought we all loved anchovies.”

“Bullshit!” all of them cried, tossing beer caps at their teammate.

“We could pick them off,” I suggested, taking a slice and trying to do as I said.

Marc-Andre grimaced. “There’s no point. They’ve left their fishy essence all over the cheese.”

“Yeah, it’s all contaminated,” James added with a frown. “I’m going to kill you, Gronk.”

With that, James launched himself onto the sofa and threw a few play punches at Jordan, who growled and did the same, using his long legs to kick as well.

I backed away from that, making a disgusted face. I looked at Evgeni, who was smiling ever so slightly.

“Boys,” I shook my head in disappointment.

“Yeah,” he agreed, taking a swig of beer. “You get used to it.”
~
Back in Chicago

Patrick had been grateful when Brent and Hailey had invited him and Jon over for dinner on Friday; it meant a night off from bar hopping and clubbing. He hoped the dinner lasted hours. He hoped his car broke down. Anything to prevent another bar crawl.

The food smelled delicious. Brent was serving it onto the table while Hailey sat down. She was very, very pregnant at this point. She was probably due in about a month. The food looked like beef. Yes, it was roast beef. Warm and juicy and delicious. The potatoes and broccoli were good too. But Jonathan wasn’t eating much.

“Have you heard from Jazz?” Jon asked as soon as there was a lull in the conversation. Brent looked uncomfortable and Patrick looked at his food intently.

Hailey cleared her throat. “Yes, actually. She took a job it Pennsylvania; she’ll be living there for a few months.”

Jon choked on his water. “Excuse me?”

“She’s in Pennsylvania for the next few months,” Hailey repeated calmly.

Patrick could see Jonathan’s mind working. He looked confused and furious and really, really upset. His hands were shaking, which was odd for the serious captain with the steadiest hand on the entire team.

“She left Chicago. Without telling anyone,” Jon said flatly, eyes emotionless.

The rest of the table shifted uncomfortably and Jonathan noticed. His gaze went first to Brent who ducked his head and dug into his second piece of steak. Jon then turned to Hailey, who looked conflicted.

“We knew. She told us a few days before she left,” she replied quietly.

“And how long has she been in Pittsburgh now?” Jonathan’s voice was eerily calm, and Patrick knew instinctively that an outburst was coming.

“A few weeks,” Hailey mumbled nervously.

Jonathan’s hands balled into fists. “And you’re just telling me now?!”

Patrick forced himself to look Jon in the eye, a feat that was harder than it sounded, particularly since Jonathan was so angry.

“Tazer, what did you expect? Look how you react whenever we mention her name! Of course we weren’t going to tell you,” Pat exclaimed.

Jon frowned. “You mean you knew about this too?”

“I drove her to the airport,” Pat retorted snidely.

Jon got up abruptly and stalked out of the dining room and into the kitchen, slamming the door behind him. Hailey moved to get up but Pat put his hand up.

“I got it, Hailey. Don’t worry. Food is delicious by the way,” he offered weakly.

Hailey replied with a half smile and a worried glance towards the kitchen. Patrick got up and walked over to the kitchen, where Jonathan was leaning heavily over the sink, clutching a glass of water.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you, man,” Patrick apologized sincerely. “I just wasn’t sure if she wanted you to know.”

“It...it’s fine. It’s not really the fact that you didn’t tell me that makes me mad,” Jon admitted, his eyes red. “I asked her to marry me, you know? And she’s the one who said no. Why does she get to leave? She gets to leave the city and leave every memory behind her. It’s not fair.”

Pat didn’t know what to say so he just patted his friends’ shoulder in what was meant to be a comforting way.

“I wish I could just pick up and leave,” Jon whispered before taking a large gulp of water and composing himself.
~
Back in Pittsburgh

It really surprised me how fast I managed to fit in with the Penguins. It quickly became a routine; go to practice, grab breakfast afterwards with a handful of them, and then write in my journal discreetly as well as take a few snaps with my camera. After games I would talk to them briefly before I went home, except for the few nights where I joined them on their outings to to bars or restaurants.

“You ready to eat?” James smiled warmly at me as he got dressed.

I grinned back. “I’m starved. I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Great game, by the way. Game winning goal and all that. How are you feeling?”

“Awesome,” he exclaimed brightly, pulling on trousers but leaving his rather chiseled chest uncovered.

I kept eye contact with him stubbornly but he had a challenging look in his eyes and leaned back casually.

“So it’s not Chinese tonight, is it?” I asked conversationally.

“Nah, Sid hates Chinese. We’re sticking with Italian tonight,” James replied, nonchalantly stretching so that all his muscles were taught.

I narrowed my eyes and was about to throw my pen at him when Sidney walked by, fully clothed and ready to go.

“Neal, don’t be an ass. Put a damn shirt on,” he rolled his eyes, shoving his teammate just hard enough so that James lost balance like an idiot. He winked at me before grabbing his shirt and buttoning it up all the way so even his neck was covered.

“Is this conservative enough for you, captain?” he teased with a cheeky grin on his face.

Sidney nodded. “Perfect.” He looked at me. “You ready to go?”

I nodded brightly, grabbing my camera and snapping a quick picture of James in his high collared shirt before following Sidney out to the parking lot.

“Did you drive or take the bus?” he asked as we exited the arena from the back.

“Bus,” I replied dreamily. “No press tonight? Usually you take much longer than this to get ready.”

“I’ve got a well deserved night off,” Sidney explained with a warm smile. “Come on, you can hop in my car if you want.”

I gamely walked towards Sid’s nondescript silver car when Jordan yelled from his bright red, expensive sport cars.

“Come on, Jazz! Ride with me; this thing is a beaut!” he yelled with the top down, flopping his hair around like an idiot.

“No thanks, Staal,” I scoffed. “I’d rather not freeze to death on the way to this restaurant.”

“Can I ride in that thing?” James asked hopefully.

Jordan gave him an irritated look. “No, idiot. The passenger seat is for girls only.”

“Then why do I see you sitting in it every time one of your brothers is in town?” James retorted proudly.

Jordan scowled before revving his engine obnoxiously and driving off. Sidney groaned.

“What a drama queen. Nealer, if you need a ride you can ride with us,” he offered.

“Shotgun!” I shouted immediately, running to the passenger side door. James stuck his tongue out at me before climbing into the back and monopolizing the conversation.

That was a fun night. I had really grown fond of the guys, and dinner with the group was always a laugh. Most of the jokes were aimed at Sid, but he took them like a good sport and usually threw a few surprisingly good insults back.

I let Jordan drop me off at home in that stupid car to placate him and walked into my place with such a genuine grin on my face that I picked up my phone to call Patrick for the first time in over a month. The phone rang for a long time before Pat picked it up without saying anything.

“Hello? Hey Pat, it’s me. I know I haven’t called you in ages and I’m sorry. I’ve been working with the Penguins and it’s just been such a blast; I’m finally feeling good again and...hello? Pat are you there?” I said this all in one breath and was gasping for air by the time I finished.

There was silence for a few seconds before he replied.

“Jazz,” he greeted coolly.

But it wasn’t Pat. That was the deep, dangerously cold voice of Jonathan, and I immediately wanted to hang up.

“Oh. Hi,” I replied shortly. “Why are you answering Pat’s phone?”

“I don’t know...maybe it’s because you left town without telling me and now you’re in fucking Pittsburgh with the fucking Penguins? Jesus Christ, Jazz!” he cried, every word steeped in clear anger.

I flinched. “Look, I’m sorry. I told Hailey to let you know where I had gone. I wasn’t planning on leaving but when Liza offered me the chance to I just jumped on it.”

“You literally told everybody here except for me,” Jon accused.

“Yeah, well we weren’t exactly on speaking terms, were we?” I snapped, finally breaking the calm composure I had been maintaining up to that point.

“Is it Crosby? Are you dating him now that you’re far away from m-Chicago?” he demanded in frustration.

I groaned. “No. How could you even suggest that? You know me.”

“I don’t think I do. I thought you would marry me!” he exclaimed. His tone was sharp, but his volume had decreased sizably. “How am I supposed to know you aren’t messing around with other people?”

“First of all, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing since we’re no longer in a relationship. Second of all,l it seems a little hypocritical of you to accuse me,” I guffawed. “I know about the girls you’ve been seeing.” There was silence. “Don’t act like you were the only one affected by this. You broke my heart just as much as I broke yours. But I, unlike you, haven’t fucked random people trying to get over it.” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

“You don’t get to fuck me over, leave a mess behind, and then criticize my lifestyle” he replied coldly. “Enjoy your new life.”

I hung up so he wouldn’t hear me crying.