One More Night

I woke tired and sore, my body tangled in Matt’s, and for once I almost didn’t mind staying overnight. His embrace was warm and soft and something deep down, I knew I loved. I shifted, stretching as I yawned, glancing back at Matt, finding him awake, gazing at me with almost a sad expression on his face. It wasn’t an expression I was very familiar with, and it took me a bit by surprise. My lips parted to say something, but his lips pressed to mine in a slow, sloppy morning kiss. It was sweet and I kissed back slowly, and when we pulled away I could see the ghosts of his dimples. He squeezed me lightly before he sat up, rolling his shoulders and yawning, making his back muscles ripple beautifully. I simply curled up more in the sheets, not wanting to face the cold air.

“What do you want for breakfast, Lyn?” Matt asked, his voice gruff from waking up as he rubbed his face, getting the sleep out of his eyes.

I didn’t really know or care, so I shrugged. “Surprise me..” I murmured, yawning again.

He nodded, walking to the bathroom to do his business. He wasn’t acting how he normally did. He was usually so chipper in the mornings when I was there, but at the same time something was different this time that I liked. There was a safety and relaxation that made me happy. It was, however, frightening. I wondered why he was acting like this.

I finally forced myself out of bed, yawning again and pulling on a pair of panties out of the drawer that he kept his collection. I swear there were more of my panties at his house than at my own. I pulled one of his giant band t-shirts and pulled it on, strangely comforted by the scent of him and the softness of the fabric.

He came out after a short shower, shirtless with a pair of basketball shorts on. Water droplets still covered his shoulders and chest, and my mouth watered. He glanced at me and a small grin graced his features. “You’re wearing my shirt.” He mumbled.

I blushed. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

He walked over, ruffling my hair and pressing a kiss to my forehead as he hugged me, then walking me downstairs. Walking into the kitchen, he started to pull out ingredients. “You okay with crepes?”

“Is there anything you can’t make?” I mumbled, situating myself on the counter.

“Well, bachelors do eventually get tired of takeout and frozen pizza. I taught myself.” Matt smiled at me.

I smiled, nodding, watching him cook, admiring his hands. I knew I was letting myself feel too at home with this, letting myself start to get feelings for him, but I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. After some time on my own I’d get back to normal. A girl could indulge, couldn’t she?

Matt soon finished the food, setting it on the table to eat with me. He’d been strangely silent, and I wondered what was going through his mind, because when he looked at me, he wouldn’t quite frown but he’d get a little crease between his eyebrows, almost worried.

He took a deep breath and looked at me. “Lyn, do you remember what happened last night?”

I tipped my head. Of course I remembered. “Yeah, we had mindblowing sex. What about it?”

Matt nodded. “You don’t remember…” He sighed lightly, as if debating whether to tell me something. He finally came to a decision, staring at me. “You had some nightmares last night, Lyn. You were crying and screaming in your sleep and I got really scared for you. I..I held you and got you to wake up and I held you until you stopped crying, and then I sang you to sleep.”

I stiffened slightly, looking down. That was honestly so sweet of him. Whenever my mom had cried, my dad had just tried to get her to stop, and eventually just walked away. He stopped caring, and crying was an inconvenience. He never cried. He never let us just cry. My cheeks reddened, most of me wishing I’d just gone home after we’d had sex.

Matt reached across the table, grabbing my hand, squeezing it comfortingly as he looked at me softly. “You never told me about your parents’ divorce.” He mumbled. “Or that your dad was abusive.”

My eyes widened as I stared at him in shock, yanking my hand out of his. I’d worked so hard to hide it from myself from others.

“Lyn…please.” He mumbled, watching me as I stood up shakily. “You talked in your sleep, it’s alright…”

“Matt…just…stay away from me…” I mumbled, my voice shaky and on the verge of breaking. I rushed away from the table, running upstairs and grabbing my things, calling a cab and rushing outside, Matt still sitting at the table as he watched me, a bit shocked.

I sat on his front step, trying not to cry as I waited for the cab, shaking slightly. Now that it was out, I didn’t know what to do.

I heard the door open and he came out, sitting beside me on the step, staring out at the street with me, sighing softly.

“You call a cab?”

I nodded softly, refusing to look at him.

“Alright.” He mumbled.

My fingers trembled from the emotion flooding through me. I wanted nothing more than to just go home, curl up in my bed and have a good long cry so that I could lock myself up again. I’d let myself get too relaxed. I’d let my emotions get out of hand. I should have never gone to dinner with him.

I took a long deep breath, looking up as the cab pulled into the driveway, and Matt got up with me, walking me to the cab, opening the door for me, but not letting me in until he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

Matt gave an intimidating look to the young driver, someone in his young twenties with a bad case of acne. “You will drive her home fast, and you won’t leave until she gets inside safe, is that understood?” He said gruffly.

The driver nodded. “Yes sir!” he said. Matt stepped away from the cab, and the vehicle pulled out of the driveway, and I went home, rushing inside and doing just as I had planned, having a good long cry and falling asleep.

~+~

I was laying on my couch, entangled in a blanket, a can of coke sitting on the floor and a canister of ice cream in my lap. I had been in need of a serious comfort day. Food that would make me bloat and sitting around wasting time. That always made me feel a bit better.

I groaned loudly as my doorbell rang, and I rolled off the couch, setting the ice cream on the floor, ignoring the fact my hair was sticking up every which way. The blanket acted as a robe and I went to the door, opening it up as I was pushed out of the way by Cathy, my best friend….in other words, the friend who I just couldn’t manage to push away.

“Well, you look like death warmed over.” She chirped, a smile on her face.

“Thanks…” I said sarcastically. “I don’t want to go out.”

“Not your decision, sweet pea!” Cathy sang. She walked to the living room with me, and the moment she entered I knew I was in trouble. “Sweetie, you’ve eaten half of that gallon of ice cream. What happened?”

“Stuff,” I grumped, putting the cover on and putting it in the freezer.

The thing about Cathy was deep down I really did like her. I envied how chipper and happy she always was, but yet she still loved to be around me for some reason. I didn’t understand it. She knew essentially everything about me, she’d forced my past out of me (in my defense, I was drunk) and yet she still hung around. “A little more specific.”

“Matt,” I said.

“Oh, do tell what horrible thing he’s done…” Cathy said sarcastically. She honestly was the biggest cheerleader for our relationship, and she seriously wanted us together. I didn’t understand it. “Did the old married couple have a fight?” She teased.

“It’s a lot of things…” I mumbled, pouring us some wine. I handed her a glass, flopping on the couch.

“And I want to hear them all…” Cathy smiled, sitting down.

“Well, first he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“I really want to believe you said yes.” Cathy stated, giving me a pointed look.

“I said no,” I said, “And then he took me to dinner with his parents.”

“Doesn’t that normally happen after you say yes?” Cathy asked.

“I wouldn’t know, but I suppose…He said he’d told his parents he’d take someone, and he said we just had to fake being together.”

“That sneaky little bastard!” Cathy cackled. “Go on, go on..” She murmured, sipping her wine.

“Well, it was fun…It really was, and then we went to his house, and fucked, and the asshole made me stay overnight.”

“Oh yes, because it’s so horrible to cuddle with a hunk all night.”

“Shush. We got up and he made crepes.”

Cathy gave a dramatic sigh. “Dreamy.” She was such a drama queen.

I glared at her, but continued. “But here’s where it gets bad..I don’t remember this at all, but I apparently had nightmares…and whatever I said during it…he figured out about the divorce and my dad..”

“Did he…what did he do?”

“Apparently he held me while I cried and sang me to sleep.”

Cathy let out a squeal, pretending to faint. “How do you keep turning this guy down!”

“I don’t want anyone to know about this! Least of all him. It’s just…too much. It hurts too much! To let him know is to open up, to open up is to let myself be emotional and no one wants that.”

“Sweetheart…He’s clearly okay with it…He wants you. And I think you want him, but you, sweetie, gotta stop lying to yourself and you’ve got to let yourself enjoy a few things in life. Take a few risks. I promise you, Matt is a risk worth taking.”