Love in Music

It was early, extremely early and I had barely slept at all last night. In fact I had barely slept at all for the last two days. Ever since the performance in front of the investors went well we had been sent for photo shoots, more meetings and radio interviews. Apparently Simon’s investors loved us and wanted our names out instantly.

We were supposed to have this morning off, but because we had reached Number One in the UK we were booked in for an interview in Nick Grimshaw’s breakfast show. I was exhausted, close to falling asleep and hadn’t talked to Louis since the night of our performance. Neither of us had tried to contact the other and I had long since stopped get excited every time my phone buzzed. The girls didn’t mention it, sensing that I didn’t want to talk to them about it.

I had hardly paid attention for most of the show and I knew the other girls could tell I wasn’t there, that I couldn’t focus, couldn’t fake a laugh or tell a joke. I said the bare minimum and quietly sat there dreaming of my large bed.

By the time we were filing out of the room I realised that I hadn’t even noticed when our song had been playing on the radio. Sighing I pulled my hoodie up over my head and wrapped my arms around my middle. I cold feel and hear the other girls around me but I stayed silent as we walked through the maze of the building.

There were fans outside but thankfully we were rushed through and not allowed to sign anything. I didn’t really have it in me to fake a smile and talk to anyone. I took a corner seat in the car that was waiting for us and sunk down in the chair, my eyes cast out through the tinted windows. It was mostly silent in the car now, as we drove away from the screaming girls.

It wasn’t until we were halfway back to the hotel that Frankie seemed to snap. She kicked my leg first, hard. Wincing I pulled it closer to me and glared at her. She only glared back.

“What’s your problem?” She growled at me, I gaped back. Looking to the other girls for support: she was the one who kicked me first. “You’ve been grumpy and silent all morning and ruining everyone else’s mood. You know that we were just in a radio interview right? For one of the biggest radio shows in Britain, you get the importance and excitement of that don’t you? It was also our first and you sat there barely speaking or reacting to anything. You’re lucky people probably just thought you were shy.”

I sighed at Frankie’s words and pulled my feet up onto the seat with me, wrapping my arms around my knees and staring dejectedly out the window. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? Well that’s great now why don’t you go apologise to Louis?” I turned to Frankie sharply, glaring, daring for her to continue. “That’s why you’re all broody isn’t it because of freaking Louis. You guys had a fight, so what, that happens in relationships. You fight then you talk and then you can get over it. Just don’t take it out on us.” Frankie grumbled, crossing her arms and turning to glare out the window. I waited a beat before sighing and dropping my feet back to the ground and pushing the hoodie off my head.

“I’m sorry. I really am, I don’t mean to be grumpy I didn’t even realise how much it was affecting you guys. I just have no idea what I’m doing.” I reasoned with her and the other girls. Kate’s hand hesitated before reaching over and entwining with mine. I squeezed back in appreciation.

“We’ve been really busy lately and so has Louis. He’s going to understand that it’s been hard for you to see him.” Lucinda added in from next to Frankie. I sighed and shook my head.

“It’s not just being busy though, is it?” They all avoided eye contact with me and I took that as agreement. “I’ve been a pretty lousy girlfriend.”

“Do you even want to be his girlfriend?” Frankie asked bluntly and I really wished that I could answer the question honestly and without a doubt.

“I like him.” I offered in return. “I really like him.” I could see the pitying look Frankie threw my way.

“Go talk to him, figure it out and just be honest with him. I’m sure he’s just as miserable as you are right now.” Kate smiled at me reassuringly and I tried to smile back, though it wasn’t very convincing.

-

I knocked quickly and shortly before pulling back and waiting nervously. It took a couple of seconds and I stepped forward to knock again when I heard rustling from the other side.

“Coming.” Louis voice came through the muffled door. There was a loud screech behind him and I realised that he must have had his sisters with him. Rolling my eyes upwards I debated whether making a run for it right now was a good idea but the door opened before I could and a frazzled Louis appeared in my vision, hair tousled and a small child wrapped around his leg.

I smiled weakly at Daisy before looking back up at Louis’ surprised face.

“Bella, what – what are you doing here?” He asked, bending down to pick Daisy up and place her on his hip. She reached out for me but Louis didn’t move her closer and I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to take her.

“I uh thought we should talk.” I bit my lip when Louis frowned and glanced behind him to where I assumed the other girls were. “It’s obviously not a good time so maybe I can come back?” I said softly, taking a step away from him. Daisy squirmed more in Louis’ arms and reached out for me like she could stop me from leaving.

“Louis.” She growled up at him, even baring her teeth, he barely acknowledged her.

“You could c-come in if you wanted… to.” He buried his free hand in his messy hair and shifted Daisy a bit. I smiled tentatively and took a step forward, meeting Daisy’s outstretch hands halfway and lifting her into my arms. She wasn’t light and getting to the stage where being picked up wasn’t going to be a possibility but I enjoyed holding her anyway. I liked knowing that Louis’ sisters liked me enough and trusted me.

We followed Louis inside to where Charlotte and Phoebe were playing on the ground.

“Bella!” Phoebe shouted, running up to wrap her arms around my waist and flashed a toothy grin up at me. I released one hand from Daisy and ran a hand through Phoebe’s hair, smiling down at her.

“Hey you. Lottie.” I smiled over at the older sister, she smiled back but her eyes flickered between Louis and I. I shifted and gently placed Daisy on the ground, there was an awkward atmosphere and the only people that unaware were the twins arguing over who got to play with the brunette doll.

“I got this Lou. You both can go talk.” Charlotte smiled over at her brother and took the doll off the arguing girls. I looked to Louis expectantly, waiting until he nodded and led me out of the room. I followed Louis down the hallway to his bedroom. I hesitantly shut the door behind me while Louis took a seat on his bed. I was unsure with the atmosphere between us as to how far I was allowed in the room so I stayed near the door, glancing at everything but Louis.

“So,” Louis clapped his hand together before looking at me expectantly. “You wanted to talk?” I nodded and took a step closer to Louis before finally sitting down next to him on the bed, neither of us touching.

“I wanted to talk about the other day, what y-you said about us.” Louis didn’t face me and I was stuck studying his profile, willing him to look at me. “I’m kind of new at this.” I took confidence from the confused look that Louis shot me, keeping his face trained on mine this time.

“I’ve had relationships before but you’re serious, you’re actually serious about this, about us. And I want that too.” I quickly added when I could see Louis’ face begin to close up. “I wasn’t aware exactly what I was supposed to do in a relationship like this.”

“If I’m putting too much pressure on you, you should have just told me.” Louis grumbled, his eyes focused on the door across from us. I bit my lip and reached over, wrapping my small hand around his rougher, larger one.

“You aren’t, I just kind of went into this a bit oblivious so I’m sorry because I know I hurt you and I promise next time I’ll call you up at two a.m. and make sure to slur all my drunken conversation to you.” I teased lightly and earned a small smile in return though he still wasn’t looking at me.

“I’ll even invite you,” I continued. “Then we can get drunk together and I can brag to everyone that I’m dating Louis freaking Tomlinson from One Direction.” I nudged him and received a bigger smile this time, focused actually on me. Smiling wider, my heart sped up when I realised that we were good, he was happy. There was just one more thing we had to talk about. “But Lou about the sex, I—.” Louis’ quick shake of the head cut me off.

“No don’t worry about that I was being a jerk when I said that. I honestly don’t mind, you’re not ready and I’m okay with that.” He squeezed my hand tightly and widened his eyes as if willing me to believe him. I smiled gratefully and nodded. A breath of air left him quickly when a loud crash echoed through his apartment. My eyes went wide while Louis merely groaned and got up muttering about his TV.

I followed cautiously and saw all three girls standing in Louis’ living room pouting up at their older brother, a glass cabinet that had been holding Louis DVD’s was smashed across the ground. I widened my eyes at the mess and noticed the bare feet on both the twins feet, Lottie only had socks on. Louis sighed and ran his hand through his hair, looking around at the mess before glaring at his sisters. I watched amused as the anger fell from his shoulder and he hunched forward muttering about sisters before going to get them shoes. Charlotte smiled happily and I shot her an amused look, Louis was obviously wrapped around their fingers. The twins on the other hand did actually look sorry.

I stepped over the glass carefully and picked up Daisy, dropping her in the kitchen before going to get Phoebe while Louis chucked a pair of shoes at Lottie so she could carefully walk over the glass. I affectionately rubbed a hand through Louis’ hair before taking Phoebe into the kitchen where Daisy sat, looking down at her hand morosely.

“Are you and Louis good now?” Charlotte asked, kicking off the shoes and heading straight for the fridge. I shook my head at her uncaring attitude.

“Yeah, we are.” I said slowly, glancing back to watch Louis crouch down and begin collecting the glass pieces. “What were you guys doing?” I turned to the twins, Daisy hiding her head in her lap and Phoebe turning the pout on me. I shook my head and laughed, they had pouting down to a science.