Wonderless.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS! I love you!" The voice rang through his ear, sounding hesitant and unsure.

Vic twisted his mouth at the voice mail, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Only birthdays and Christmas... He thought to himself. Did she even really remember? Or was it the writing on the calenders that reminded her? She always loved Christmas though... That was the time of the year she was at her strongest.
The voice mail was only left about 2 hours ago at 1AM, figures she'd be up. Did she even remember she made the call by now? Has she gotten worse?
His hands shook as he maneuvered down the road, his windshield wipers swatting away the light layer of snow beginning to collect around the lonely secluded area of Louisiana. A couple of years ago, he would've never thought that he'd be traveling this far for a girl. A girl who was so sweet, kind, and nurturing that it filled the hole inside him for so long. He can still smell the peppermint smell on her skin and remember every curve on her pale milky body, every freckle on her smooth face, how soft her brown wavy hair was, and every slight change in color in her green almond eyes.

He pulled into the driveway and sat there for a while. The lights were on but would she remember?
His fingers turned the ignition off, he didn't bother locking the car as he tucked his head against his chest and stuffed his hands in his pockets, making an advancement to the front door. His heart was beating erratically as he knocked. The padding of feet against the hardwood floor made him smile, she always liked walking barefoot.
She opened the door with a soft look on her face, a lost look. She seemed confused as to why there was a man standing outside her door at 3AM Christmas Day. Shouldn't he be with his family? She was only dressed in a long button down shirt... her dads, that much he knew. The sleeves were too long for her and it fell down to her knees. She missed him... but at the same time she was this way because of him.
It took him all his strength not to fall into a crumpled heap in front of her.
That look in her eyes...
That empty look.
But he knew her soft spots, the words and caresses that helped her remember.

He'd look up at her with caring eyes as he placed his hands lightly on her forearms, taking slow steps into the small house. She did nothing to stop him, her eyes trying so desperately to register that face. Her mind screamed for her to remember but even as she raked her own brain there was nothing but fog.
He closed the door quietly behind him with his foot, his hands slipping from her forearms down to her waist where he pulled her into him. She's gotten smaller... She looked up at him through long lashes, placing her hand on his chest; she felt safe... and loved.
He'd grab the hand with the diamond ring around it's ring finger and kissed it, causing her breath to hitch. He moved from her hand to her lips, returning his grip to her waist as they began their slow walk backwards. His heart fluttered feeling her lips push back against his and her arms snake their way around his neck. She fell back onto the bed placed in the living room, she never liked being locked up in a room. He'd pulled away to look at her, her eyelids lowered slightly as she looked at him. Her hair pooled around her on the snowflake printed sheets and her lips were parted slightly. He touched her skin softly with his calloused hands and smiled as she leaned into it...

*Melanie was her name. Her family called her Mel, the little friends she's ever had called her Lanie. Vic was about 20 when he met the 16 year old at some dull beach in Louisiana. His brother accidentally threw a football that landed next to her and splashed her with sand. Vic ran over to apologize and was mesmerized by her green eyes, pale face, and freckles. She had a child-like appearance and gave him a warm smile, quickly telling him it was okay.
After that, they were history. Only making it official when she hit her 18th birthday.*

They said nothing to each other, Vic couldn't say anything. The moment would be lost if he did. He kissed either cheek then her full pink lips, he could taste the peppermint on her tongue; she's been eating candy canes. He couldn't help but let a sound escape from his lips as her fists bunched up in his hair as she inhaled his scent. The cologne triggering memories that would have otherwise remained fogged and incomplete. It felt like it's been so long when in reality he was by her side every chance he got...

*Vic and Melanie were a happy couple. He came to Louisiana between tours and shows that were close by and she did her best to make the drive to whatever show he had at the time. His brother called her the mystery girl of Vic's life. He never really wanted to talk about her and that was only because Mel asked. He didn't know why she wanted to keep them so secretive... But on their 3 month anniversary, he began to question her about her strange behavior... How she always seemed to be forgetting things and looking around nervously. How when they went on dates she excuses herself to the bathroom at least 3 times within an hour. She was reluctant but with sad eyes she told him something he just didn't want to hear.*

His hands trailed up her sides, sending her skin on fire as they moved farther into the bed until he nestled between her bare legs. Their eyes closed as they focused on each other's taste, scent, feel. His hands moved feverishly to cup her breast through her shirt causing her to arch and whimper as she clawed at his shirt, lifting it from his back. He paused to remove it, her eyes making his stomach do flips before his lips clashed with hers again. His fingers worked feverishly to unbutton the large shirt, pushing it off her pale milky shoulders and snaking his arms around her slim waist causing her back to lift slightly allowing him to attack her neck and chest with kisses.

*Melanie was everything Vic could ever ask for and to learn that her memory was failing her because her body was slowly shutting down tore him to pieces. He spoke to no one for 5 days and secluded himself in his own solitude to contemplate his next move. He didn't want to lose her... Not today, not tomorrow, not when she's 40 and lying in her death bed. He didn't want her to ever forget him, he didn't want her to ever leave him. The next day, Vic showed up on her doorstep down on one knee and they made love.*

The way she felt against him sent Vic reeling. He couldn't get enough of her and how soft her skin was rubbing against his as he moved within her. Slowly and sensually, focusing on her facial expressions. Every gasp, every moan, how she squirmed under him and grasped his upper arms, how she moaned his name, how her eyes would flutter shut and her mouth would open and her face would contort. The way her legs wrapped around his waist tightly and how his love bites left soft red marks on her skin. He shivered feeling her nails dig into his back, her hips bucking to meet his as they made love. He'd grasp her thigh and bring a knee to her chest, wanting to be deeper, closer.

*Although engaged, the couple never did marry. The thought of it excited them but they were in no rush. Deep inside they both knew they couldn't do that to each other. Melanie knew she was dying... She knew for a long time and couldn't stand to tie herself to Vic only to leave him on what could be any day of the week. There was no telling when... Not only that, but she couldn't even offer him a family. Vic also knew Mel was dying... dying slowly and painfully. He could see it in her face, the frustration when she couldn't remember something or how upset she got when she couldn't hold down lunch or dinner. He wanted to marry her... so badly. But how long will their marriage last before she slipped from between his fingers? He didn't even care that she had become infertile, her reproduction system shutting down with the pure fact her body could not support a child growing inside her but he didn't care. A child would only be a bonus but all he wanted was Mel.*

He traced patterns on her bare shoulder. He wanted to remember her perfectly... Her pale skin, the freckles on her sleeping face that were darker along her nose and lighter along her cheeks; and the light snore coming from her mouth. Her pink lips, now red and tender from his own and the curve of her breast before it was concealed by covers. The way her sweaty hair clung to her face and cascaded onto the pillow. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to make her his own all over again. To be one with her again. She seemed so fragile and so small. She was losing so much weight.
Reluctantly, he pulled himself from the covers and let himself into the shower. The atmosphere was something all too familiar and something he'd wish he could wake up to every morning but his busy schedule prevented that... his home and loved ones in LA prevented all of that. On another side, no matter how much he insisted he'd move in with her, take care of her, she'd refuse.

*Melanie sat with her legs folded and her head in her hands. She didn't want to tell Vic no, she didn't want to deny his request. She wanted him here, she needed him here. He was the last person she'd ever wanna forget but she could already feel the memories slipping into the cracks. She sobbed quietly, he had left in anger. He questioned her love for him and just left and it hurt her so bad. But she just couldn't do that to him. She knew that he'd be so engorged with taking care of her, loving her, and dedicating his life to her condition that he'd completely forget about everything he's worked for... the music that inspired so many people. And most of all, he'd be so hurt when she passed... She knew he'd be in so much pain every time his name would slip her mind or when she couldn't recognize his face. She couldn't do that to him. She couldn't hurt him that bad.*

Vic wasn't surprised at all when the shower door slid open and Mel's naked body slipped in. He'd bathe her, paying attention to every part of her body and massaging her scalp with his fingers. They'd dry off and get dressed comfortably, moving around each other perfectly.
Vic sat in his boxers at the edge of the bed with Mel behind him. He was deep in thought and she knew it.
He turned to the nightstand and took the weekly pill container into his hands. It was Friday but all the days were still full, "You haven't been taking your medication."
She looked at it and shrugged. He knew she couldn't remember.
"You have to start taking them again..." he sighed, wrapping an arm around her.
"I don't want to..." She whispered quietly.
"They'll make you better." He lied. He knew they wouldn't. He knew the yellow one did little to stitch her memory together, the white one couldn't help her digest the food and nutrition she needed, and the blue one only slowed the process of her passing.
There was silence as he got up and got her a glass of water. Watching her swallow them and checking her mouth childishly.
"Are you staying?" She whispered. The clock read 7AM.
"Of course... It's Christmas," His fingers tickled the skin on her arm, "You love Christmas."
She smiled, sighing. It was a while before she spoke again, "How much do we love each other?" Her whisper was shaky. Her memory was slipping her again... she was panicking. She didn't want to forget.
He held her closer, more tightly as if she was going to fly away from him, "More than Romeo and Juliet. More than the stars in the sky. More than anything else in the world." He whispered in her ear, "That's why we're gonna get married."
She lifted the ring, a glint in her eye, "When can we get married?"
"Whenever you want." He murmured feeling his chest tighten.
"How about tonight? Christmas night! We can do it!" She said so excitedly, it pained him... "We can go to one of those 5 minute chapels!" She was so excited, her face was glowing.
He chuckled, "Alright, alright. How about this," He pulled her close and kissed her neck, "We get some sleep, wake up at around I don't know let's say 3PM and we'll get married first thing."
She squealed, pulling away and burying herself under the covers before holding out her pinky, "Promise?"
He smiled, crawling over her to the empty side of the bed where he joined her under the covers, "Promise." He hooked pinkies with before kissing her lips, "Now go to bed."
She looked at him softly, she didn't want to forget his face, "I love you." She murmured as her eyes fluttered shut.
"I love you too..." His lip quivered as he pulled her closer, kissing her temple and nestling into her neck. He waited for her breathing to slow before he inhaled her scent deeply and began to sob. He knew this all too well. Every year it happened. Every year on this day.
Tomorrow morning she'd forget everything, she'd wake up confused and if she got worse, maybe even scared... and he'd be gone before 2.